It's time to admit 'Animal Crossing: New Horizons' is a dumb, boring game for children
'Animal Crossing: New Horizons' has become a runaway hit, but between the clunky user interface and boring characters, it's no fun.
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A few days after purchasing Animal Crossing: New Horizons — the wildly popular Nintendo Switch game in which the player lives life and completes tasks on a tropical island — I got an invite to visit my friend Andy's island, Flavortown. Appropriately, Andy immediately gave me a pizza oven; I purchased matching sporty sunglasses from the blue hedgehog posted up outside Town Hall.
Inside his house, one room was decked out like a club, and we ran around in circles and wiggled back and forth pretending to dance. Andy and I are both roughly 30 years old, but for a few minutes, I felt as happy as my small baby-proportioned avatar looked.
But in the dozen hours I've put into the game so far, approximately 15 minutes have made me feel this way. Fourteen of them were spent on islands that are not my own, and one of them happened when my friend Dillon sent me a nice hat in the mail.
The rest of the time has been frustrating, tedious, and immensely boring, mostly involving mashing buttons to get through endlessly repeating dialogue boxes with chibi animals mumbling gibberish and re-filling countless holes I dug in the wrong place.
After a reasonable amount of casual play, here's what I'm left with: Animal Crossing New Horizons sucks, and I don't want to play it anymore.