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I've become FAR too happy in life. How do I depress myself back into acceptable ranges?

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GARlock Spiral

GARlock Spiral

Banned
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
I've been unemployed for the last year and it's driving me nuts. I busted my ass in my down time to get the Network+ and Security+.

I've done so in the urge that I may never work a help desk job ever again. Unfortunately, i'm a loser who is incapable of doing better, and as such, i need to resign myself to my fate.

I've become too big for my britches, and I need to be forced back into my place in life. I absolutely despise everything about life, but the only, ONLY way to improve things is suicide.

How do I get back into those ranges to accept reality?
 
HylianSeven

HylianSeven

Shin Megami TC - Community Resetter
Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,028
I'm not really sure I understand what you're asking, but you're just trying to get a new job that's not a helpdesk job, right?

If it's any help, there was a time I was fired from a job, partially due to untreated ADHD, and was unemployed for about a year. I managed to get a job after a frustrating year of searching, and through a few years, and technically changing jobs connected to that same project as the one I got, am in an extremely ideal job right now. I honestly thought after that year of unemployment that I might never work again in a job I wanted, or even without taking a pay cut.

You CAN do it. Six years ago (when I got fired from that job), I thought I would never end up in the position I'm in today.
 
Godfather

Godfather

Game on motherfuckers
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,475
The title and the post do not match at all. I'm sorry you're not doing well OP, but suicide is not the answer for your situation. Do you have any family or friends to talk to? Covid is fucking everyone up, so you're not alone in this.
 
Reym

Reym

Member
Jul 15, 2019
2,649
In a more serious post, I feel you, OP. I'm not qualified to give any real advice on the subject and I don't really have any answers anyway. (The first advice I thought of wasn't exactly helpful) but a) if you need to talk we're here and b) "we're here" applies once people read the OP, and I hope you don't hold the drive-by posts against people. Good job on pulling one over on us, though!
 
EternalDarko

EternalDarko

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,585
Things are never that bad dude.

If you despise everything in life, it just means you've not experienced anywhere near what you should have.
Ever tried waking up on a new day and being determined to try something new and different?
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral

GARlock Spiral

Banned
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
ErichWK said:
You gotta believe in yourself. You aren't a loser.
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Oh yes I fucking am. This worthless ass optimism is steaming hot garbage that does nothing to change reality.


Godfather said:
The title and the post do not match at all. I'm sorry you're not doing well OP, but suicide is not the answer for your situation. Do you have any family or friends to talk to? Covid is fucking everyone up, so you're not alone in this.
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No, suicide has been the answer for the last ten years, and coming up with an acceptable, alternate solution was setting my standards FAR too high.

No, I don't have a single person to turn to, and the Suicide Hotline manages to be even LESS useful than the Trump Administration.

maximumzero said:
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the OP. It sounds to me like he's unemployed, got his certification, and is now in a better place than he's been in a while, with a healthy dose of sarcasm to boot; is that not the case?
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You're not wrong. I'm in a better place than i've been in a while, but it's not paying off when it needs to, and THAT is what frustrates me.
 
Kraid

Kraid

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,246
Cuck Zone
GARlock Spiral said:
You're not wrong. I'm in a better place than i've been in a while, but it's not paying off when it needs to, and THAT is what frustrates me.
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I'm not going to give you mindless optimism, I personally hate that shit. But I have a friend who had pretty similar thoughts to you a few years ago and he's doing much, much better now. Things are shitty until they're not. It's tough, but you just have to keep plugging away. I had an all timer shit year in 2019, and things were clearly awful last year. After two years and literally hundreds of applications I got a perfect job. I can start to dust myself off.

Do you take anything for depression? Have you taken anything for depression?
 
PeskyToaster

PeskyToaster

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,312
What sort of expectations do you have and when do you believe they should be fulfilled? And we should also examine where these expectations come from? From family? Social media? Other media? Your posts indicate that you seem to believe that something should've paid off within a certain time frame, care to provide more details?
 
Godfather

Godfather

Game on motherfuckers
Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,475
GARlock Spiral said:
Oh yes I fucking am. This worthless ass optimism is steaming hot garbage that does nothing to change reality.




No, suicide has been the answer for the last ten years, and coming up with an acceptable, alternate solution was setting my standards FAR too high.

No, I don't have a single person to turn to, and the Suicide Hotline manages to be even LESS useful than the Trump Administration.



You're not wrong. I'm in a better place than i've been in a while, but it's not paying off when it needs to, and THAT is what frustrates me.
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Well damn dude, you seem to hate Trump, so at a bare minimum you need to outlive that steaming pile of shit, right?

Others have also mentioned this, but have you tried any medication or spoken to a medical professional at all?
 
Luminaire

Luminaire

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,610
do something creative so you can beat yourself up at how bad you think it is over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ...
 
Zen

Zen

The Wise Ones
Member
Nov 1, 2017
9,657
Don't put yourself down like that. You're worth more than you're giving yourself credit for.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral

GARlock Spiral

Banned
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
PeskyToaster said:
What sort of expectations do you have and when do you believe they should be fulfilled? And we should also examine where these expectations come from? From family? Social media? Other media? Your posts indicate that you seem to believe that something should've paid off within a certain time frame, care to provide more details?
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I've been fighting for years in search of a Reason to Live, only to find that no, I really should have just succeeded in my first suicide attempt. The last ten years have been ALL stick and no carrot in regards to life.

Godfather said:
Well damn dude, you seem to hate Trump, so at a bare minimum you need to outlive that steaming pile of shit, right?

Others have also mentioned this, but have you tried any medication or spoken to a medical professional at all?
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Not at all. He sucks, but there's no reason to spite MYSELF by living another day. That's just stupid.

My last therapist quit on me months ago, and too many therapists have failed me in general. I'm FUBAR as a person and would rather not waste time.
Kraid said:
I'm not going to give you mindless optimism, I personally hate that shit. But I have a friend who had pretty similar thoughts to you a few years ago and he's doing much, much better now. Things are shitty until they're not. It's tough, but you just have to keep plugging away. I had an all timer shit year in 2019, and things were clearly awful last year. After two years and literally hundreds of applications I got a perfect job. I can start to dust myself off.

Do you take anything for depression? Have you taken anything for depression?
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Honestly, I just need a job that gets me out of the house and doesn't make me hate people further and that would be a huge start. Sadly, I can only have one of the two.


Luminaire said:
do something creative so you can beat yourself up at how bad you think it is over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ...
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I've been "writing" a story the last few months. The rough draft is some HOT dogshit.
 

Deleted member 12028

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,085
Sunster said:
Twitter can be an endless source of amusement. Just follow the right people and block the right people. Facebook is what's depressing. Endless scroll of your childhood friends/acquaintances lapping you continuously in life.
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I deleted facebook but this thinking is also a trap. Ppl generally only post things the things that are going well so you get this curated rosy view that everything is perfect in their life.

But still delete facebook
Addressing the OP: suicide is never the best option
 
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Sunster

Sunster

The Fallen
Oct 5, 2018
10,009
wadsappening said:
I deleted facebook but this thinking is also a trap. Ppl genuinely only post things the things that are going well so you get this curated rosy view that everything is perfect in their life.

But still delete facebook
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unfortunately I cannot delete facebook as 50% of my family uses it as a primary means to communicate . yeah, I get that people only post the best things in their life but the saturation of that material still affects me despite it being illogical. for that reason I don't really browse on fb like my girlfriend does. that;s a Twitter activity for me.
 
PeskyToaster

PeskyToaster

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,312
GARlock Spiral said:
I've been fighting for years in search of a Reason to Live, only to find that no, I really should have just succeeded in my first suicide attempt. The last ten years have been ALL stick and no carrot in regards to life.
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What's a good "Reason to Live" for you? Is there something specific you have in mind? And if not, how you would you know you found it? What sort of signs are you looking for? Hopefully I'm not prying too much, I just want to get a feel for your thoughts in order to help.
 

Deleted member 12028

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,085
Sunster said:
unfortunately I cannot delete facebook as 50% of my family uses it as a primary means to communicate . yeah, I get that people only post the best things in their life but the saturation of that material still affects me despite it being illogical. for that reason I don't really browse on fb like my girlfriend does. that;s a Twitter activity for me.
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Can you delete facebook but keep messenger? This would at least get you out of the most toxic part of it
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral

GARlock Spiral

Banned
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
PeskyToaster said:
What's a good "Reason to Live" for you? Is there something specific you have in mind? And if not, how you would you know you found it? What sort of signs are you looking for? Hopefully I'm not prying too much, I just want to get a feel for your thoughts in order to help.
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There is absolutely nothing. Not a single goddamn thing worth living for that could be introduced in my life at this point.

I've learned that the HARD way over the last ten years. It would factually be better to end things tomorrow than to continue. I'd like to be proven wrong, but the more I live, the more i regret not killing myself sooner.
 
timshundo

timshundo

CANCEL YOUR AMAZON PRIME
Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,156
CA
I've been unemployed for a year and a half. At this current point, still, I'd rather die than work ever again. Which sounds dumb, I'm not gonna kill myself, but it's still a true statement.

capitalism really done a number on us. join remote commune and live off the land when?
 
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