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The Case for a Rabbi Wario

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Apopheniac

Apopheniac

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Oct 25, 2017
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User banned (5 days): Reinforcing harmful stereotypes
wario2.jpg


(the mantel of the Torah in this image, translated from Hebrew, reads "wah")

[...] If Mario's Italian background can be a thread of his decades-long tapestry, there is no reason the same cannot be true for Wario's—likely patrilineal, let's be honest—Jewish heritage.

Nintendo has a few options as far as this goes. They could make Wario really more of a cultural Jew, and have him go to Shabbos dinner a few times a year and light Hanukkah candles with a fire flower. He could be more of a Larry David Jew—an antagonist who is less of an enemy to Mario and more of an annoying guy who keeps asking about the proper etiquette around freeing a princess and using other people's Warp Pipes. But, for me, personally, there is exactly one thing Nintendo can do to get me to a point where I am comfortable with Wario's clear Semitic lineage: make him a rabbi.

First of all, shut up. This is a good idea.
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Wario will be a fun rabbi, but he will also be a good one. As an incorrigible egotist, Wario is more than prepared for carrying on the long tradition of Jews yelling at each other about the finer points of Talmudic interpretation. As a partially reformed villain who has succumbed to greed in the past, he knows the sin that lies in men's hearts intimately, and how to lead the members of his congregation away from temptation. And as a man who has been locked in an eternal struggle with his ostensibly purer, more perfect self, Wario grasps the importance of understanding the often-fraught lines between good and evil.
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Link to article (AMP here)

And, before you ask:

 

Deleted member 8593

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Yes I don't see anything wrong with making Wario, a character with a cartoonishly big nose, explicitly Jewish.
 
Skittzo

Skittzo

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Oct 25, 2017
41,037
There actually is no W sound in Hebrew, so the Hebrew on that Torah probably reads "vah", though without the vowels you can't be sure.

Also is this a thinly veiled "Jews are greedy" thing or an I missing something?

Edit: though I will say, as a Jew who knows many Jews I can say that Wario's famed flatulence does fit in with our culture of colon health issues quite well.
 

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200px-Wario_WLSI_art_2.png


🤔🤔🤔

nah, nothing wrong with this at all

edit: and I know, the blog author points this out. It's still dumb.
 
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