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Nov 13, 2017
9,537
chicken-try-the-chicken.gif
 

toy_brain

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,201
Knowing how far back from the toilet to stand so it goes in perfectly is either innate human (mostly man) knowledge, or something you learn over the years without realizing it.

Or just go out the window.
 

Lkr

Member
Oct 28, 2017
9,501
the solution is to politely, but firmly, tell the body to get its shit together
 

zuf

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,890
Knowing how far back from the toilet to stand so it goes in perfectly is either innate human (mostly man) knowledge, or something you learn over the years without realizing it.

Or just go out the window.

I thought it was just me who moves around for target practice to prepare for different situations.
 

BFIB

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
11,626
This is one of the bigger things I miss since I had a kid who runs into the bedroom as soon as she's up. That morning wood always made for the best morning sex.
 
Oct 25, 2017
3,122
Pee in the sink and rinse your mouth out while you're at it. Urine has secret hygenic qualities only a few people know on earth know about
 

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,957
Weekend era starting fucking early


but I'm pretty much with you OP.

Put a bidet toilet seat on my toilet last year, and it's a little smaller on the front than my old one, and at least once I looked down to realize that I was pissing out between the seat and bowl, and it was going everywhere.

can't remember ever waking up with a boner.

never understood the Morning-Wood or German Morgen-Latte talk.

it's a real thing
 

Yasuke

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
19,817
Just sitting down doesn't solve the issue for me, I don't get how it works for y'all. I have to wait lmao
 

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,390
Clemson, SC
Hilariously we've been potty training my toddler and he woke up with one for the first time ever. I didn't realize it and helped him get to his potty from the bed the other day. Dude leaned over to look at it and shot himself in the face and got our wood floors. I died laughing while helping him.
 

rjinaz

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
28,371
Phoenix
Yep, you don't try it. Unless you like pissing on your shower curtain. You sit your ass down.

It's usually the only time I'll sit down and pee, largely because of my enlarged prostate, I end up peeing 15-20 PER DAY including 2-5 times per night. Just too much effort for me to sit every damn time. I think otherwise I would though.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,217
Some of ya'll seem like you can sit down and fit your little soldiers in the bowl even when they standing to attention... I'm not so lucky.
 
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