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Fastest way to rid my system of THC? Possible job opportunity prohibits drug use and, well . . .

Deleted member 4372

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,228
Look, I want to get the job and keep it. I am willing to give up pot in order to make this happen.

But I smokes a lot, dudes. Daily. Most recently yesterday.

I understand THC lingers in the bloodstream for like a month in trace amounts, but this opportunity has fallen on my lap and there is drug testing involved. I do not know when I'll be asked to go for drug testing, but I know I will be asked, and the ball is rolling as I've submitted my job application this evening on a tip that my application will be looked for.

So what's the best plan of action here for me? I would have stopped smoking a month ago had I known this would pop up. Is there some kind of elixir I can drink to get rid of the THCs in my blood? Maybe a blood transfusion? I'm down for anything.
 
StopMakingSense

StopMakingSense

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,730
Is there an expectation that you could get the job in less than a month considering you submitted an application last night?

dietpepsi said:
Jesus Christ dude I just googled this, it's a novelty device! I'm in need of real help, I'm not a dancing monkey for you to laugh at!
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These are not novelty devices. Real people in your position use them all the time.
 
SpottieO

SpottieO

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,618
Honestly you're very likely fucked if they test you in the next two to three weeks. Not trying to be a downer but it's the reality of the situation. You need to start exercising a lot and drinking a shit ton of water but even then it's going to take a while to get out of your system.
 
Hollywood Duo

Hollywood Duo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
42,016
Not much you can do right now. No point in wasting money on some product without a job offer. Just keep clean until you get a final resolution (rejection or job offer)
dietpepsi said:
I already drink eight glasses a day at least and work up a sweat at my current job. Is that enough a month from now if I stop smoking pot tonight? Like, after my joint tonight.
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Breh come on
 
Bacon

Bacon

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,630
I'd say you've probably got a solid month (or more) until you're drug tested considering you just submitted the application. That's plenty of time. Drink a bunch of fluids. I know stoners swear by beet juice so maybe start chugging that stuff, although I'm not sure how effective it actually is.
 
HStallion

HStallion

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
62,262
dietpepsi said:
Look, I want to get the job and keep it. I am willing to give up pot in order to make this happen.

But I smokes a lot, dudes. Daily. Most recently yesterday.

I understand THC lingers in the bloodstream for like a month in trace amounts, but this opportunity has fallen on my lap and there is drug testing involved. I do not know when I'll be asked to go for drug testing, but I know I will be asked, and the ball is rolling as I've submitted my job application this evening on a tip that my application will be looked for.

So what's the best plan of action here for me? I would have stopped smoking a month ago had I known this would pop up. Is there some kind of elixir I can drink to get rid of the THCs in my blood? Maybe a blood transfusion? I'm down for anything.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

How extreme is the drug test they're going to give? Are they going to observe you at all while you piss in the sample cup? If not then just buy one of the big name brand fake piss kit for like $40. Its just a small little bottle you heat up in the microwave a bit and then put inside a handwarmer and strap to your thigh. Once you're in the bathroom, just take it out and squirt it into the cup and give it back to them. Then you're golden.

Most drug testing places are kind of haphazardly run in my experience and if its an unobserved test you have little to nothing to worry about with the synthetic pee route.
 
TheSkullPrince

TheSkullPrince

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,590
California
dietpepsi said:
I already drink eight glasses a day at least and work up a sweat at my current job. Is that enough a month from now if I stop smoking pot tonight? Like, after my joint tonight.
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8 glasses? I SAID like a dehydrated camel!

Not really sure if it'll work or not, but a pot-head friend of mine was in a similar pickle as you, started drinking water and pissing like a race horse and he was able to land the job after a drug test.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 4372

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,228
TheLetdown

TheLetdown

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,812
dietpepsi said:
I already drink eight glasses a day at least and work up a sweat at my current job. Is that enough a month from now if I stop smoking pot tonight? Like, after my joint tonight.
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Yeah, you're probably good. But to make sure, about a week before you think you're going to be tested, go get one of those flushes from a health food store or GNC or whatever.
 
Loan Wolf

Loan Wolf

Member
Nov 9, 2017
5,092
Sweating it off helps speed up flushing the THC out of your system too. I usually go for 2 mile runs 3-4 times a week; if you're sedentary, go to a sauna
 
signal

signal

Member
Oct 28, 2017
40,199
Smoke so much weed the THC levels in your body seem absurd and they will think the test is defective
 
Jebral

Jebral

Member
Oct 29, 2017
389
It stores in your fat, so yeah. exercise and hydration.

Be warned, you'll fail for dilution if you hammer down tons of water. They sell "cleansing products" which are all crap with B vitamins to make your pee yellow.

I once passed a pee test with synthetic urine. Just wear some tightey whiteys and hide the bottle behind your balls to make sure it's body temp. Because you'll fail for pissing cold too!

Last time I just quit smoking and periodically tested myself with some cheap dip tests I got online.
 
Suicide King

Suicide King

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,018
Hire some suspicious guy to force you into eating a brownie in front of the interviewer. Then keep screaming "oh god, it tastes like Satan's lettuce, which I have never once tried" and cry a little bit. Make it look like it was so powerful that it made you feel dizzy. Then they'll be legally forced to schedule the exam to a later date.
 
Surface of Me

Surface of Me

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,207
Work out, burn fat up until the day before the drug test. Drink lots of water, buy a regular Stinger detox for the day of. Passed 2 drug tests with this, both of them within a week of me smoking.
 
tmarg

tmarg

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,694
Kalamazoo
dietpepsi said:
I already drink eight glasses a day at least and work up a sweat at my current job. Is that enough a month from now if I stop smoking pot tonight? Like, after my joint tonight.
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That will just dilute your sample. THC levels will be lower, but so will everthing else, so they'll know. Best case scenario, they'll make you retest, worst case they'll consider it tampered with, and call it an automatic fail.

Short of finding clean pee somewhere, you're probably screwed. Just don't do anything stupid like drinking bleach.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 4372

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,228
Suicide King said:
Hire some suspicious guy to force you into eating a brownie in front of the interviewer. Then keep screaming "oh god, it tastes like Satan's lettuce, which I have never once tried" and cry a little bit. Make it look like it was so powerful that it made you feel dizzy. Then they'll be legally forced to schedule the exam to a later date.
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I'm thinking this is my best course of action.

bsigg said:
When is the interview and drug test?
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The interview is unknown as I just submitted my application this evening. But, I'm stopping smoking tonight, like, no, I'm not having a joint tonight. I'm done, until I find out about this job one way or another.
 
BlueTsunami

BlueTsunami

Member
Oct 29, 2017
8,510
30 days at most for a chronic user. Best bet is to do interval training and lose weight, try to burn fat off quicker than not doing amything. Chugging water just dilutes your piss.
 
808s & Villainy

808s & Villainy

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
42,700
dietpepsi said:
Jesus Christ dude I just googled this, it's a novelty device! I'm in need of real help, I'm not a dancing monkey for you to laugh at!
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Click to shrink...

dietpepsi said:
I already drink eight glasses a day at least and work up a sweat at my current job. Is that enough a month from now if I stop smoking pot tonight? Like, after my joint tonight.
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f58Tt.gif


Well...good luck lol
 
Chojin

Chojin

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,625
Time travel.

Hindsight advice: Don't do drugs while searching for a job. Take a break.
 
Nude_Tayne

Nude_Tayne

Member
Jan 8, 2018
3,673
earth
You've been smoking it? If you vape enough THC the vapors trigger your immunocannibo receptors to secrete anticanniboids that bond with THC stored in your fat, blood and hair. All the THC gets sucked out of your system and you literally poop it out! As an added bonus you can even smoke your poop later! Better start on it right away.
 
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