What I have found is that height is the limiting factor for how close I can comfortably sit to any display, whether that's 4:3, 5:4, 16:9, 16:10, 21:9, or 24:10 - no matter what size it is.
It doesn't matter if it's a small monitor or a projector, I always tend to sit so that the vertical image fills about the same amount of my view - which is rather close because I like things to be immersive.
I also find that 74° vertical FoV in games is about right for that.
At that distance, ultrawide displays fill a lot more of my vision horizontally than 16:9 displays do - extending out into my peripheral vision.
My preferred 74° VFoV translates to 122° HFoV on my ultrawide monitor. If you were to use 122° on a 16:9 display it would look fisheyed.
Another advantage of an ultrawide display is that it keeps a fixed vertical size for virtually all content.
When you display movies on a 16:9 display, the image is letterboxed and gets smaller - so you have to sit closer to the screen.
When you display movies on an ultrawide display the image gets wider rather than smaller - so the viewing distance does not change.
I find pillarboxing easy to ignore, while letterboxing is distracting.
That doesn't make it any less disappointing when a game doesn't support anything wider than 16:9 though, or if it forces the UI out to the edges of the display in a game that requires a lot of interaction with it (strategy games etc).
You're not wrong, and I've argued this point in the past,
mocking up a comparison between a 34" ultrawide display and a 55" HDTV.
But as I said above - the limiting factor for how close I can comfortably sit to a display is height, and at that height I need ~74° VFoV.
With those two parameters essentially being fixed, the only thing that can change is the image width.
As a result, I find my 34" ultrawide monitor more immersive than a 46" 16:9 HDTV.
Despite the HDTV being a larger display, the ultrawide monitor fills more of my vision when I am sitting at a comfortable distance from both.