In my experience with an XOX and a PS4 Pro, I MUCH prefer Xbox patches. For me, the patches are bigger cause they use 4K assets on many XOX games. PS4 Pro rarely runs assets that big (so smaller file sizes) and instead tends to usually upscale sub 4K textures. On both systems, I let downloads happen in the background. They are usually both done when I wake up in the morning. If I want to play right then, I much prefer the Xbox "one at a time" method because it maxes out my 250gb connection on that single download. Lightening fast. I run both consoles wired into the same router, but the PS4 never ever maxes out the bandwidth. Downloads always take longer (even if smaller!) and trying to download multiple files at once on it slows the patch for the game that I actually want to play right then. In practice, whether they download all at once or one at a time doesn't matter if it occurs while I am asleep, but if I want to play right now, I prefer the Xbox maxing out all the speed on that one patch. And managing which games is at the top of the queue is very easy. In my experience, PSN has never been able to max out my isp speed, but Xbox live does. Again, I love my PS4 also, but I do most of my gaming on Xbox and part of that is specifically because of how the PS4 handles downloads.
I have an 8 terabyte external drive attached to my XOX. Those 4K patches and extra content/maps for XOX exclusives really are huge. But, for me, seeing native 4K more often and huge content patches, I'm cool with it, especially since Xbox Live actually maxes out my bandwidth.
