Oooh, good question.
Also OP, the way you've phrased this makes me think you should leave. When you're asking "should I be single" instead of "is something wrong with this situation" , it sounds like you want out.
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Should I be single again?
- Thread starter Kismet
- Start date
Oooh, good question.
Also OP, the way you've phrased this makes me think you should leave. When you're asking "should I be single" instead of "is something wrong with this situation" , it sounds like you want out.
Did your boyfriend have a stroke or something like really bad Parkinson's where he can't physically feed himself?
Sounds like there's more going on behind the scenes than we're being shown. Context is important.
OP, I just think it's telling that you're having doubts. If you're having doubts, there's a reason.
More than that, I don't think this is about feeding or massaging feet or video chats. There's probably something deeper going on.
Please leave. Please, for the love of Thor. Especially if you want to do the adult thing and talk about it, and he won't even do that. Bye-bye. Hit the road.
Maybe i've been browsing the internet too much, but the handfeeding is like a 4/10 on the weirdness scale for me.
That said, the entitlement OP's BF displays with that and the massaging certainly doesn't sound like an equal and healthy relationship.
That said, the entitlement OP's BF displays with that and the massaging certainly doesn't sound like an equal and healthy relationship.
So? tbh sounds like an excuse
No matter what the full story is, I think it's clear that you're not happy with the relationship.
Serious question- it usually with things you need to cut up first, though? I'd been assuming it was a meal that was usually eaten by hand anyway, and he just always did it for the boyfriend as a romantic gesture, but then he mentioned cutting it up and was confused. I guess it's also a bit off from what I'd expect anyway, since you'd think it'd be a mutual thing of feeding each other their serving, hmm.
Which also means I agree with your point; he's shifted from appreciating gestures OP makes to expecting and demanding them. OP, if you two can't sort this out by talking to each other like adults, then you have bigger problems to deal with.
We need to know whether OP thinks the boyfriend is mad about the literal lack of acts of service like feeding and foot rubs OR if he's concerned about what their absence represents, i.e., a withdrawal of affection and decline in interest in the relationship.
If it's the former the BF is a creep and if it's the latter he might have valid concerns that he isn't good at expressing. In any case the key is communication.
Talk to the boyfriend about why he's upset and also tell us what the f is going on because now we're invested in this nonsense.
If it's the former the BF is a creep and if it's the latter he might have valid concerns that he isn't good at expressing. In any case the key is communication.
Talk to the boyfriend about why he's upset and also tell us what the f is going on because now we're invested in this nonsense.
This relationship is amazing.
Please stay in it and tell us all the details.
God I love these threads. OP knows damn well he gave us the minimum amount of info possible to get these reactions. I doubt he even has a boyfriend tbh.
We're the side attraction of a spinoff of a rebirth of a video game forum.
Normallacy went out the window ages ago.
Sai always posted a variation of that sentence on gaf when there was a weird advice thread so I guess your response is apt
Umm, yeah no. Get out of this. Sounds like he want some a servant, not a partner.
Leave.
Talk to him? Explain why you're feeling the way you felt when you created this thread. Ask him what else is bothering him.
If nothing works, take a break.
If nothing works, take a break.
Fixed for proper order. :P
But OT, it sounds like OP's boyfriend is picking up on their lack of interest and enthusiasm, but isn't articulating it explicitly, opting instead of to bitch about perceived passive aggression.
Regardless of the outcome, you two should communicate.
I knew this relationship was fucked the moment I read, "should I be single again," but this takes the cake. No wonder others in this thread have mentioned you not being happy in that relationship. GTFO. You're a grown ass man. Don't be hand feeding someone nearly 40 years old.
I AM DYIIIIIING. Not to be rude, but I'm having a good laugh. Get out of that hahahahah.
Kismet, your kismet is not with this guy. Get the fuck out of that relationship.
OP
OP
Frikandel speciaal with lots of onions, plus fries. He wanted roti's now as well, which was unusual for this dish. That's why I forgot them.
I've posted a few pics of him and me together. We're real btw.
We're together for over a year now. We're planning on living together next year.
Maybe I was impulsive with the thread title. I do love him. But these situations are tiring. Being single was so much easier. Not better, but easier.
That is real weird...you are are adults. Sure, it is cute every so often to feed your partner a piece of something, but to be mad you literally did not hand feed him? I don't think anyone here should tell you to stay or leave your relationship, but those sound like two silly things to fight over.
Do you enjoy this kind of 'servant' play? Is this some mild domination / roleplay stuff? Not gonna kinkshame here.
Because one person pretty much "demanding" to be fed and massaged by the other (getting mad if certain services aren't performed means they're demanding it / feeling entitled to it) is not part of what most people consider a 'normal' relationship.
So unless you actually (and consciously) enjoy these imbalanced power dynamics, or unless there's some compensatory stuff by your significant other, i don't think you're living in a healthy relationship.
Because one person pretty much "demanding" to be fed and massaged by the other (getting mad if certain services aren't performed means they're demanding it / feeling entitled to it) is not part of what most people consider a 'normal' relationship.
So unless you actually (and consciously) enjoy these imbalanced power dynamics, or unless there's some compensatory stuff by your significant other, i don't think you're living in a healthy relationship.
Broh, if my SO was blowing up over a lack of handfeeding I'd have some serious existential problems about how this is my life, and if I was being prevented sleep over it I would straight up leave and go sleep at a friend's or in my car.
Depending on all of the context I might not do a cold turkey break up, move your shit out of my house, etc, but I would at the very least make it clear this isn't happening again and that we need to have a serious conversation about our issues and how to resolve them. If it's a pattern that's already supposedly been addressed, then yeah, it's an immediate nope the fuck out.
Depending on all of the context I might not do a cold turkey break up, move your shit out of my house, etc, but I would at the very least make it clear this isn't happening again and that we need to have a serious conversation about our issues and how to resolve them. If it's a pattern that's already supposedly been addressed, then yeah, it's an immediate nope the fuck out.