This is very common...
It's really not rare for a guy to ask a girl out again down the line and get a different answer...
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Henry Cavill: Hesitant to date in fear of being called a rapist
- Thread starter rude
- Start date
This is very common...
It's really not rare for a guy to ask a girl out again down the line and get a different answer...
It seems to me like he was being a bit cheeky, and it came across horribly, especially in print lol. I don't think he literally thinks he's going to be accused of being a rapist. Just that he likes women who play hard to get, or likes winning them over, but doesn't know if pursuing that style is worth it anymore.
No one said you can't. She can say no again. Do you feel that if you asked again you would go to jail? Cause that's what he said.
I visit a lot of boards, and this place, by far has the most ridiculous bursts of outrage. You guys hold everyone to some holy standard.
No, I don't feel that way. I just don't understand why people are instantly equating what he's said to physical advances.
User banned (3 days): Fearmongering about women who report sexual assault
This is how I read it. The man is shook. Plain and simple. He's afraid to have a future relationship given his Hollywood noteriety and have a woman falsely accuse him tarnishing everything he's become.
True, they are high profile. But as far as I know, celebrity men continue to date, and frequently. I agree it says more about him.
If a woman says No, that's it. If she's playing games by playing hard to get, and says no to Caville, that's her stupid mistake right there if she was really interested.
That and most of the #metoo stories are from years in the past.
He's obviously exaggerating and like I said probably just seeing these headlines and not understanding the context since usually someone like Morgan Freeman who was accused of sexual misconduct gets mentioned in the same breath as bill cosby or Harvey Weinstein who actually committed a crime. Its easy to see how in this moment the two are conflated when the media talks about men accused of different things as if they were accused of the same thing.
The fear however poorly worded it is, he's expressing is something I'm seeing other men express too. I even remember a massive thread here about male staff in organizations talking about how they refuse to do private meetings with female coworkers or have any physical contact whatsoever for fear of being labeled a sexual harasser. And those men were made fun of here or labelled as predators just because they expressed an honest misunderstanding of the current social climate and their paranoia. People here seem quick to assume the intentions of other people and assume that even men saying they don't understand this current climate are actually predators while managing to completely miss the point which is that nobody should be assuming the intentions of another
This is what I got out of his message. I felt like I got his point, but people seemed to dismiss it right away. I think he poorly worded everything. In a way it's good that guys are more careful. I don't think being more conscious of their actions is a bad thing.
I previously said they are not equally prevalent in society. If you have a problem with me thinking that then I think you need to get some perspective and understand that the amount of false accusations pales in comparison to the amounts of sexual assault.
Get some perspective.
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This entire thing is so stupid because it's fucking Henry Cavill. You want to date someone new?
Go to a bar/café/location of choice
Sit down.
???
Success!
You'll have a line of women coming up to you.
Take your pick and you're done.
Go to a bar/café/location of choice
Sit down.
???
Success!
You'll have a line of women coming up to you.
Take your pick and you're done.
There's a difference between waiting a period of time on advances (weeks, months) and continued pursuit in a night or a few days.
So in this hypothetical situation, you're saying false allegations exist and then you're saying he should be castrated for the false allegations (in the scenario you made)? lol... man some the takes in the thread are real atrocious.
I doubt you are going to be accused of rape for asking the second time. The question is are you really going to stop at asking the second time? Because if you even have to ask that question in the first place, hoo boy.
I know you're banned and this thread will definitely be locked by the time you're back, but I want to make a point.
There's a reason people are outraged. This dude is literally an icon for millions of boys, and he's saying, "Well, no doesn't actually mean no".
What kind of example is that? Damn straight you're held to a higher standard when you're in the position he's in.
You say that like it's somehow not okay to be making fun of those paranoid guys? Why isn't it? It's a stupid worldview and by extension makes them look stupid as well.
We don't need to assume Cavill's intentions, he laid them out for us. His intentions are to pine after someone like 'the good ol' days' and we have a right to call him out on it.
Why does a haircut make a difference though? Idk it seems to me like guys obsess or odd tiny details like this. That's what I meant. Like, a guy I'm not attracted to with a haircut is just that; a guy i'm not attracted to with shorter hair.
But to your point in your latest posts, I get that circumstances can change things, but that's more on the girl in this situation. And the more persistantly you pester a girl for a date, the higher the odds her 'yes' is really just out of exasperated pity. And I don't know how any self-respecting guy would want that.
I mean, if you keep propositioning her and she keeps saying she's not interested, that's pretty much harassment.
If she says she's just not interested in dating right now, you should still respect their space, but obviously if some time has passed and situations are different, you can flirt again.
The problem is this idea of pushing past a no.
Yeah, whew he really didn't get his point across very well.
I can kinda see where he is coming from, especially in the wake of stuff like #MeToo where a primary issue is people in positions of power abusing that position.
He can't really stop being a world-famous actor, and even if he is being innocuous someone could easily just assume he is using his fame to try and get their attentions and accuse him of creeping etc.
But yeah, he's definitely over-thinking things and hopefully not legit projecting shit.
The post i made that he quoted explains this. Some women don't want to seem "fast" or "easy" and so may express hesitation or say they aren't interested because having a man try to convince them that he is worth dating is a sign that she is valued. The fact that he'd invest time into acknowledging her reservations and trying to change her mind would communicate that he is serious.
This is juxtaposed by men who especially now in the present moment will just take a woman completely at face value and end communication because the signs were not clear enough for him and he doesn't want to end up in a situation where someone appears to be giving him permission to move forward, only to later hear that she actually wasn't interested.
Wow lol
It was an example. Maybe she said "No, I'm not looking for a relationship right now" or similar. It's not always black and white.
Fuck this I'm outta this thread you all have fun.
Because they don't give a shit about their opinions, they're simply looking for a hook-up most of the time.
Lmao at your reductionist attempts to downplay men who think toxic shit like this as an 'honest misunderstanding'. There's nothing honest about being fearful of assault allegations just for speaking to women. It's just plain misogyny.
Are you in a place where it's generally expected that strangers will flirt with one another?
If yes: no one's going to call you a rapist as long as you're not raping. An asshole who can't take a hint, maybe.
If no: stop trying to hit on strangers in public. No one wants to hear your game on the 6 train.
If yes: no one's going to call you a rapist as long as you're not raping. An asshole who can't take a hint, maybe.
If no: stop trying to hit on strangers in public. No one wants to hear your game on the 6 train.
To be blunt, if someone's throwing out signals of disinterest that aren't genuine, you shouldn't keep going regardless, because they're playing games. This mind-game bullshit is basically Diet Gaslighting, with the side effect of re-enforcing the idea that women should be "pursued" and thus further cementing rape culture bit by bit.
Really, anyone who's playing games like that should either stop doing it or deserve to be alone if they don't. It's that simple. If you pass them up, they deserve it, and you deserve better than a game-playing basic. Even just if it's one night of sex. I mean, if they'll lie during flirting, they're a liar and are therefore more likely to be the kind of people who would falsify a rape accusation to begin with.
Exactly.
I guess that makes sense.
Or people (men and women) can just... not play these dumb games and be open about their feelings. God I'm so glad I'm not a teenager or in my early 20's. Maybe I was raised too open about sex. The whole 'don't want to seem easy' thing seems dumb and like some holdover of traditional christian morality or something. Or other girls just playing into this patriarchal gender role bullshit. I'll totally fuck someone I've been on one date with, or just met hours ago if the chemistry is right. What's the big deal? It's just sex.
No I don't think it's confusing, I don't think it's easy to be confused, I don't think it is obvious he is exaggerating, and I'm not interested in trying to come up with excuses for what he said. I'm judging him based on what he said because he is a public figure who is paid millions of dollars to put his face in front of the camera, and he said what he said. You wanna cape for him, I don't.
That's.. My point. Legitimate sexual assault accusations outnumber false accusations by an absurd amount.. Yet you think they are of equal importance? That tells me you don't really value the thousands of victims stepping forward.
So I guess I have to ask why women should have to worry about being considered "fast" or "easy" for wanting to date a man. If she's looking for expressions of trust and committment, pushing past consent seems like a really bad indicator of either of those.
And on the other side, giving women space when they can't be clear on whether they want to be in a relationship or not just seems like common sense.
Look at all those red tags.
Of all the hills to die on, defending a mediocre (at best) actor...
Of all the hills to die on, defending a mediocre (at best) actor...
Is this topic about sexual assault or about false accusations?
I do think that case by case, both issues are important and worth discussing. If I were to compare AIDs and cancer, I don't think "Well less people die from cancer than they do from AIDs and therefore cancer is less important.". That's whataboutism, disregarding a situation and focusing on some other situation. Maybe I can think both cancer and aids are terrible and cause a lot of damage to those around them.
Or twist it to make him not look bad, guess it goes both ways. I'll just base what he said by his own words.
No one's twisting anything. They make him look bad enough on his own.
