So I have a dark sense of humour. I know this doesn't always make people comfortable, and I significant tone it down and change my humour style once I find out someone is uncomfortable with it. But my dark sense of humour is intrinsically a part of who I am, and it is my coping mechanism for a lot of issues I face day to day. I make light of recent events in the world or in my life (e.g. make fun of myself facing difficult situations). I joke about everything from struggles in corporate America to race. I do not target one thing again and again, and make fun of everything. Both sides of the political spectrum (usually making light of decisions I don't agree with in a humour angle).
This sense of humour works really well among my friends. If someone tells me they do not like it or are uncomfortable, I stop immediately. My SO accused me of being a racist (my SO is white, I am not) and said that their friends said I am racist. My SO makes jokes about things that are even darker than I do (I have already told my SO to stop some of those jokes because they go too far and are hurtful). So I ask which friends are uncomfortable and to give me some examples so that I know not to make them uncomfortable, because that makes me uncomfortable. But my SO won't tell me. My conflict resolution is to avoid all conflict, so I am thinking of just not seeing none of my SO's friends anymore (except for the one who told me to tone down the dark humour), because I do not want to risk hurting someone or myself, and causing conflict. At the same time, I do not want to change who I am and remove my dark humour completely, because that's how I view humour.
Also, my SO has said some actually racist things like pointing at people walking past us and saying, "They are white so they are attractive," and constantly telling me about their "Yellow Fever," and constantly pointing out people of east-Asian descent in public and saying they are attractive, satisfied their "Yellow Fever", and will break up with me because I don't satisfy it.
This sense of humour works really well among my friends. If someone tells me they do not like it or are uncomfortable, I stop immediately. My SO accused me of being a racist (my SO is white, I am not) and said that their friends said I am racist. My SO makes jokes about things that are even darker than I do (I have already told my SO to stop some of those jokes because they go too far and are hurtful). So I ask which friends are uncomfortable and to give me some examples so that I know not to make them uncomfortable, because that makes me uncomfortable. But my SO won't tell me. My conflict resolution is to avoid all conflict, so I am thinking of just not seeing none of my SO's friends anymore (except for the one who told me to tone down the dark humour), because I do not want to risk hurting someone or myself, and causing conflict. At the same time, I do not want to change who I am and remove my dark humour completely, because that's how I view humour.
Also, my SO has said some actually racist things like pointing at people walking past us and saying, "They are white so they are attractive," and constantly telling me about their "Yellow Fever," and constantly pointing out people of east-Asian descent in public and saying they are attractive, satisfied their "Yellow Fever", and will break up with me because I don't satisfy it.
