Yeah, a shrink floated that possibility by me as well. No official diagnosis (and trying to find a place that does adult autism screening on Medicaid has been a chore), so it's still in that uncertainty area. The fact that none of the previous therapists I've seen mentioned it makes me skeptical. Plus, in the internet/nerd/video game/CS community it feels kind of cliche/omnipresent. Everyone in the community has some difficulties with social interaction, so it's hard to think that I'm far enough outside the norm to merit a diagnosis.
I'm also skeptical that this revelation will help with my actual problems. I've been seeing psychiatrists for the better part of a decade due to depression and lack of focus, and those are the issues that are causing real concerns in my life. I can't hold down a job, I can barely take care of myself. Previous therapists have had me focus more on my interpersonal struggles, and that barely helped with those and didn't help at all at work. On some level I could see getting autism treatment helping in the long term (they say that something something interpersonal relationships something something eventually helps somehow), but I just don't believe it, and even if I did it feels so indirect and long-term...
Anyway, I'll also go ahead and disagree with everyone else in the thread: you're very likely not normal. I know I hate when people bullshit me about that sort of thing. Accurate descriptions aren't always helpful (and can be outright harmful: I have problems with self-blame, and while said blame is often accurate, my response to it rarely helps resolve the problems it's created/prevent me from repeating the mistake), but I know I don't have it in me to delude myself, so I'll treat you like I want to be treated. Even without an autism diagnosis it sounds like you'd still be not normal, though. The vast majority of people are able to hold down a job: sounds like you've had struggles with that? Again, same here. Whether that gets attributed to autism or depression or anxiety or whatever: something is different about you, and it's impacting your life in a negative way. You're not just not normal: Michael Phelps was abnormal in a good way. But in your case, something is wrong, and you need to try to fix it.
I'd love to promise you it'll get better, but again: I can't stand that bullshit when people say it to me, and the fact of the matter is for some people it never will. But I can tell you that it might get better. And your best odds of it getting better are to follow your doctors' recommendations. Modern medicine doesn't work all the time, but it's literally the best idea anyone on the planet has.
