I have no doubts that the vibe will feel right. I just wouldn't want to go there and leave feeling the way I felt before.
I'll see how she really feels about visiting. She wouldn't deny. Just things running through my head.
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I'll see how she really feels about visiting. She wouldn't deny. Just things running through my head.
Has anyone ever brought a girl home to their messy ass apartment? I am embarrassed truly and feel like a jackass...
It makes me feel so fucking embarrassed but I'm so busy during the day and never at home...
I usually do but in th last couple weeks fell into a messy habbit and havd just felt so busy. It's not a disaster but I wanna clean my sink, toilet, kitchen counters, the dishes in the sink and sweep :/
Alright, when I said "Yes" before, I meant like the apartment being messy.
Not having dishes in the sink and a filthy toilet. That's just gross.
I'm already out but I'm just not going to invite my date back to my place tonight. It's fine, I will learn from this.
Seriously, if you have to, pay someone to come in and clean it.
And after that, actually keep up on basic cleanliness / hygienic matters.
Man,GAF ERA stereotype come to life.
P.S. Not trying to make fun of you. Although possibly shame you into keeping up with it. But, yeah.
And after that, actually keep up on basic cleanliness / hygienic matters.
Man,
P.S. Not trying to make fun of you. Although possibly shame you into keeping up with it. But, yeah.
dont leave your house on a date unless you can bring her back there. like... i dont get how hard that would be. i have accidnetally brought a date back to dog shit because he loves me, but... yeah everything else was decent.
Is pof working for them? I just created two accounts but still doesn't send any message through?
Each one of those jobs takes less than ten mintues to do. Wake up 10 minutes early each day and do one.
When your dating your home is an extension of who you are when you bring a girl back. Ive been with girls that had nasty untidy dirty apartments as they put all thier effort into making themselves look good. I made sure not to see those girls again.
Learn from it and clean your place. Also throw an air freshener in there too.
Not sure if asked or discussed already in this thread but out of curiosity... can an introvert and extrovert work out in a relationship?
Just bring her back then act like someone broke in and trashed your place. Get extra sympathy points.
Lmao
Most definitely. If you're not that talkative and she understands why, you guys will complement each other.
Was thinking last night about how January will be 4 years since my last relationship, and 3.5 since I last kissed a girl. It's kind of baffling how I manage to be so bad at something that's supposed to be one of the primary biological instincts of our species. Sometimes I think I don't deserve to reproduce.
Is this thread on the main off topic forum or is in the community one?
I can't never find this thread if I don't use the search function.
I can't never find this thread if I don't use the search function.
It was decided to keep it in the main part because one of it's main functions is to provide advice.
Use the Watched option on any topic and you'll never have that peoblem again.
Nobody "deserves" to reproduce, stop thinking like that. It doesn't matter how long it's been since your last relationship.
Have you been actively seeking to date for the whole time over the last 4 years? If so, and you haven't had anything even remotely successful, you need to address what it is that's making you fail and change it.
Had a "perfect day" yesterday.
Girlfriend stayed over Thanksgiving (we went to Seasons 52). We woke up late, watched Mama Mia, boned, then went to Laguna beach. Had a great lunch, then hung out at the lobby of Montage Resort and had coffee.
Afterwards we went to Sawdust Winter Fantasy and chilled. Then we went to roger's garden and chilled (and bought her mom's christmas present). Then we went and hung out at her place.
Although we have been planning on moving in together in April, we haven't really said anything to the mom about it. The GF laid it out for her mom today. And surprisingly, the mom is okay with it. She has been a variable in the plan since she is pretty conservative.
And so we are all looking good.
With regards to cleanliness, I don't know what to do about my bathroom. I've spent hours in that fucker trying to get rust and water stains out.
Girlfriend stayed over Thanksgiving (we went to Seasons 52). We woke up late, watched Mama Mia, boned, then went to Laguna beach. Had a great lunch, then hung out at the lobby of Montage Resort and had coffee.
Afterwards we went to Sawdust Winter Fantasy and chilled. Then we went to roger's garden and chilled (and bought her mom's christmas present). Then we went and hung out at her place.
Although we have been planning on moving in together in April, we haven't really said anything to the mom about it. The GF laid it out for her mom today. And surprisingly, the mom is okay with it. She has been a variable in the plan since she is pretty conservative.
And so we are all looking good.
With regards to cleanliness, I don't know what to do about my bathroom. I've spent hours in that fucker trying to get rust and water stains out.
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I didn't know that stuff like this was actually an issue for people.
Maybe I just need more time since my divorce to let things happen or something.
But, since she left last December is the first time in my life that I've ever been living alone, and, aside from things being a chaotic mess (it's only a studio apartment, so there's not much space), between me and two cats, I've managed to keep free of stains and grime and other such things.
Just do this before you head to work. Wake up early and get it done so you don't have to worry when your tired ass comes back home and you don't have the motivation to clean up.
I need an opinion please on the following dilemma:
Met a woman 4 months ago after chatting online, I dont date much but she really wanted to meet up. We hung out and soon she confessed feelings which I didnt have for her. She was texting me loads asking to see me, but I felt that would be unfair on her. Even though she said she was ok just being friends, you could tell she wanted more. Anyway after a few weeks she went on a date with someone else, then text me saying "he was ok" but she still liked me. I asked her for some space as it wouldnt be good for her if we kept texting, I thought its best for her long term if I let her move on.
So anyway its been over a month, shes dating this guy which is great. I feel like I should explain to her how I was only aloof so she'd stop being into me, she's a great person and I went AWOL to let her move on. At the same time, I don't want to fuck things up for her current dating. I absolutely 100% dont want her back, thats not the motive, just trying to do the right thing and give her some closure.
Met a woman 4 months ago after chatting online, I dont date much but she really wanted to meet up. We hung out and soon she confessed feelings which I didnt have for her. She was texting me loads asking to see me, but I felt that would be unfair on her. Even though she said she was ok just being friends, you could tell she wanted more. Anyway after a few weeks she went on a date with someone else, then text me saying "he was ok" but she still liked me. I asked her for some space as it wouldnt be good for her if we kept texting, I thought its best for her long term if I let her move on.
So anyway its been over a month, shes dating this guy which is great. I feel like I should explain to her how I was only aloof so she'd stop being into me, she's a great person and I went AWOL to let her move on. At the same time, I don't want to fuck things up for her current dating. I absolutely 100% dont want her back, thats not the motive, just trying to do the right thing and give her some closure.
She doesn't need closure, she'll be fine. Let her move on, no need to contact her and unintentionally make her think she's got a shot with you or something.
I know, I just wanted to feel sorry for myself for a minute. I don't try nearly as much as I should. I'll occasionally go on a date with someone I met on Tinder or OKcupid, but I've mostly stopped using those apps over the past couple months. Don't really make much of an effort to meet people in real life either.
But I recently joined a community orchestra and there are a few cute girls in that, so I have more hope than usual that I could actually meet someone.
Some updates.
So the girl I went out with last week, the one that I really liked. I'm seeing her again for a third date tomorrow. But she's been honest with me and said she doesn't really know what she's looking for, and she's just out of a long term relationship. She doesn't know if she wants to date, but at the same time, she does seem to want to spend quite a bit of time with me. I don't know what to think of that, but whatever - I'm going out with her to see Paddington 2 (someone kill me; to be fair this is my fault, I picked the movie, but I didn't want to see Daddy's Home 2, or Battle of the Sexes either).
The thing is, she doesn't know what she wants, and I think (despite what he profile says) she doesn't really want a long term relationship right now. I get the general impression she doesn't really know what she's doing with her life, and that she would be quite distant, which I wouldn't appreciate in a relationship. I'm still happy to hang out with her, I think she's a really cool person, but I feel that were just going to end up as friends.
I met another girl on Tinder (Amy). She's pretty attractive (between a 7 and 9 out of 10 depending on which photo you look at), and she plays video games. She's currently playing Horizon. I ended up ignoring Sygma's advice and chatting with this girl a lot - just because it's not my style I guess. It wasn't that I didn't find the advice valuable, it's just that if a girl starts talking to me online, I really enjoy chatting with them and for me, it's a good way of making the first date feel really comfortable and easy. I find that helps for both of us. I can totally see how it could be a romance killer, but if you're chatting with the right person, that just doesn't seem to happen.
We're meeting up for a date on this next Sunday. She seems pretty into me in general. For instance tonight, we were chatting for about 3 hours on whatsapp. We video called for a bit to make sure we were real people, in general it felt really good to talk to her. I definitely felt that over the last few days, I've been developing a fondness for her. She's just a nice girl, and she wants a lot of the same things I do out of life.
At the same time, I have another date next Thursday. She's okay, but really hard to judge until I've met her. She hasn't spoken to me that much (which is fine, obviously). I guess my concern is that I'll be in a slightly more serious position with one of these other two girls, by the time I even date this girl, which is just going to distract me on my date with her.
I cancelled another date with a girl on Friday. Stuff is just getting too hectic and I don't have time for it. She seems like a nice girl but less appealing than the other three.
So the girl I went out with last week, the one that I really liked. I'm seeing her again for a third date tomorrow. But she's been honest with me and said she doesn't really know what she's looking for, and she's just out of a long term relationship. She doesn't know if she wants to date, but at the same time, she does seem to want to spend quite a bit of time with me. I don't know what to think of that, but whatever - I'm going out with her to see Paddington 2 (someone kill me; to be fair this is my fault, I picked the movie, but I didn't want to see Daddy's Home 2, or Battle of the Sexes either).
The thing is, she doesn't know what she wants, and I think (despite what he profile says) she doesn't really want a long term relationship right now. I get the general impression she doesn't really know what she's doing with her life, and that she would be quite distant, which I wouldn't appreciate in a relationship. I'm still happy to hang out with her, I think she's a really cool person, but I feel that were just going to end up as friends.
I met another girl on Tinder (Amy). She's pretty attractive (between a 7 and 9 out of 10 depending on which photo you look at), and she plays video games. She's currently playing Horizon. I ended up ignoring Sygma's advice and chatting with this girl a lot - just because it's not my style I guess. It wasn't that I didn't find the advice valuable, it's just that if a girl starts talking to me online, I really enjoy chatting with them and for me, it's a good way of making the first date feel really comfortable and easy. I find that helps for both of us. I can totally see how it could be a romance killer, but if you're chatting with the right person, that just doesn't seem to happen.
We're meeting up for a date on this next Sunday. She seems pretty into me in general. For instance tonight, we were chatting for about 3 hours on whatsapp. We video called for a bit to make sure we were real people, in general it felt really good to talk to her. I definitely felt that over the last few days, I've been developing a fondness for her. She's just a nice girl, and she wants a lot of the same things I do out of life.
At the same time, I have another date next Thursday. She's okay, but really hard to judge until I've met her. She hasn't spoken to me that much (which is fine, obviously). I guess my concern is that I'll be in a slightly more serious position with one of these other two girls, by the time I even date this girl, which is just going to distract me on my date with her.
I cancelled another date with a girl on Friday. Stuff is just getting too hectic and I don't have time for it. She seems like a nice girl but less appealing than the other three.
In the exact same boat with you, only my scenario is with a girl who just got out of a LTR that had abusive tendencies. So... yeah.
What I feel is that if you genuinely enjoy spending time with her, even if it's platonic, no harm. I'm keeping an eye out for other prospects but since I don't have any right now, the girl I'm seeing offers great companionship. It's just all about both parties being upfront with communication. I told her my intentions and she told me she was very attracted to me but she's got some demons to fight. Even though she gave the "I was friends first with all my BFs" schpeel you often hear, I'm probably not going to be anything than a guy friend. But that's cool for me, because we have fun together, and I'm not losing out on other prospects because of it. You just gotta make that evaluation for yourself bro.
Man having body image issues sucks so much.
Even though yesterday was a great day dating wise today I feel like sht, I have a really hard time accepting how I look. In the mirror I look fine but in photos I hate it, it really brings me down :/. I havent felt this way nor thought about it for so many months now and today it suddenly popped up and I'm disliking myself right now damn :(
I really dont know what to think, it confuses me because when I go to clubs sometimes women show interest in me without me doing anything and overall I dont do bad there and so I start to think like I'm fine, but then I look myself in photos and all that crumbles down and I feel like sht lol
It doesnt help that the relationship with this girl I've been dating is probably gonna fade away soon because shes gonna leave the city in december and january for her home (its summer holidays here around those months), shes gonna come a few days in between but is not gonna be much (she told me this months ago, that she would be gone around this months). In those months I have to do internship so I shouldnt have much time as well.
She asked me whats gonna happen to our "relationship" in those months (actually we are not even official at the moment but is almost like official one, i already met her mom and friends..), she said she doesnt want to lose this (and I said the same in response) but idk.
To be honest I dont trust long distance relationships and I feel is better for her if she has the freedom to do what she wants, same for me even though I like her and dont want to lose her, she said the same but idk im not feeling confident today and it sucks. Granted she will come back to the city starting from march and she wants me to visit her home in february and travel around there together but I still think that 2 months is a lot of time for the relationship to really die down.
Some pages back I talked about my trust issues regarding relationships, but to be honest the time I've been with her I feel like I've felt way better regarding my trust issues, I've made it a non factor and I havent really shown any "symptoms" to her regarding this and mostly I felt like I got it out of my system because I took the "if it happens then whatever I will just look elsewhere" attitude. Getting to know her I really didnt have any reason to doubt her and I think I improved in that regard. But now its gonna be (potentially) a LDR for some months, I've always disliked LDRs and felt that they dont work, but now I'm forced to face one and dont really know what to do nor what to think.
So this added up with my body image issue above and now Im feeling like sht.
Sorry for this I'm kind of venting without asking anything I guess but if anyone has gone through something similar here it would be nice to hear their way of view.
Even though yesterday was a great day dating wise today I feel like sht, I have a really hard time accepting how I look. In the mirror I look fine but in photos I hate it, it really brings me down :/. I havent felt this way nor thought about it for so many months now and today it suddenly popped up and I'm disliking myself right now damn :(
I really dont know what to think, it confuses me because when I go to clubs sometimes women show interest in me without me doing anything and overall I dont do bad there and so I start to think like I'm fine, but then I look myself in photos and all that crumbles down and I feel like sht lol
It doesnt help that the relationship with this girl I've been dating is probably gonna fade away soon because shes gonna leave the city in december and january for her home (its summer holidays here around those months), shes gonna come a few days in between but is not gonna be much (she told me this months ago, that she would be gone around this months). In those months I have to do internship so I shouldnt have much time as well.
She asked me whats gonna happen to our "relationship" in those months (actually we are not even official at the moment but is almost like official one, i already met her mom and friends..), she said she doesnt want to lose this (and I said the same in response) but idk.
To be honest I dont trust long distance relationships and I feel is better for her if she has the freedom to do what she wants, same for me even though I like her and dont want to lose her, she said the same but idk im not feeling confident today and it sucks. Granted she will come back to the city starting from march and she wants me to visit her home in february and travel around there together but I still think that 2 months is a lot of time for the relationship to really die down.
Some pages back I talked about my trust issues regarding relationships, but to be honest the time I've been with her I feel like I've felt way better regarding my trust issues, I've made it a non factor and I havent really shown any "symptoms" to her regarding this and mostly I felt like I got it out of my system because I took the "if it happens then whatever I will just look elsewhere" attitude. Getting to know her I really didnt have any reason to doubt her and I think I improved in that regard. But now its gonna be (potentially) a LDR for some months, I've always disliked LDRs and felt that they dont work, but now I'm forced to face one and dont really know what to do nor what to think.
So this added up with my body image issue above and now Im feeling like sht.
Sorry for this I'm kind of venting without asking anything I guess but if anyone has gone through something similar here it would be nice to hear their way of view.
Yeah I get that part, I guess my situation is trickier since I am seeing other people, and the problem is that this girl that wants to take things slow or possibly not take things anywhere at all, that's potentially a waste of time whereas I could just develop a more romantic relationship with someone else. If I do that however, that cuts off all possibilities of developing anything with her.
For me, I she's a good fit for a relationship, but it is a drawback that she doesn't play games (there's only one of the other two girls that I'm dating that does). It just so happens that it's the girl that plays games that's appears more attracted to me too. So I feel I'm likely to end up pushing in that direction, but it's a shame because I really dig the other girl and I'd have loved to explored that but, I just don't think I'm willing to wait and see what she wants to do, and miss other romantic opportunities with girls I also really like, in the process.
In your position I feel it's less complicated. It absolutely makes sense to just go along for the ride and see what happens, while also keeping your eyes out for other romantic opportunities.
I don't think long distance is a big issue with an end so clearly in sight. If you guys don't want to lose each other and give up on the relationship then you should just work through that period. Even if things don't work out, you've only lost a little bit of time, not a whole lot.
That's just my opinion.
Thing is when I add up LDR + summer is when my trust issues really start showing up lol, I'm thinking "shes gonna find someone better and is gonna leave me" and so I start feeling bad about myself more ><
Is good that it has a end clear in sight as u said, but to me it also looks like a big window for her to "find someone better" :/
And yeah I guess I should remind myself and crave it into my brain that whatever happens it happens, if the relationship dies down then I should move on, is hard though and I hate that I have to almost turn myself into a robot without feelings so I dont get hurt lol
And yes it wouldnt be much time lost as you said, I think I have learn things about myself with this time with her so it wouldnt be wasted even if she lose interest so thats good. It would still be a very big blow to my self esteem tho even tho I try not to rely it on others but is so hard..
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