These responses, holy shit.
I wonder how some of you would function in a world without social media.
Which people are you upset with?
These responses, holy shit.
I wonder how some of you would function in a world without social media.
Give me a link to this shirt.Lol just had a girl do this to me. She's like "I like your shirt(blue button up), it matches well with your face."
I just said thank you and walked away.
Pretty rando
Not harassing people at work isn't common sense? So I guess all the people who asked me out when I was bartending where a compliment right? You've defaulted to the defensive after admitting to doing something that many women has disagreed to and think is predatory. The only response that doesn't make sense is your own. Yes you have contrary experiences but you're justifying some pretty awful things.I'm being told now it's "common sense" that people don't like being picked up at work, but if I have X experience and have listened to women who have told me otherwise during that experience, how would that be common sense in this specific instance?
This is exactly why I have been asking about it... I don't understand many of your responses to me ITT at all.
These responses, holy shit.
I wonder how some of you would function in a world without social media.
Not harassing people at work isn't common sense? So I guess all the people who asked me out when I was bartending where a compliment right? You've defaulted to the defensive after admitting to doing something that many women has disagreed to and think is predatory. The only response that doesn't make sense is your own. Yes you have contrary experiences but you're justifying some pretty awful things.
I'd probably be just fine. Social media doesn't really add value to my life.
Lol yep, these threads always turn into the men talking to the men rather than listening to the women.These responses, holy shit.
I wonder how some of you would function in a world without social media.
How is it misrepresentation? You asked out a women at work, this is seen by many as harassment. You've not engaged with others when they've brought up why it is wrong. Earlier in the thread you agreed with me that work place harassment is wrong. What am I meant to say back to it when you keep ignoring us?I'm not justifying anything. I am trying to align my experiences with the experience of others.
Your gross misrepresentation of my posts continues to be horrible.
Is being uncomfortable so bad though? Not everything in life has to be comfortable. I could understand it if a girl gets approached all the time it can get annoying though. But does that happen?
How is it misrepresentation? You asked out a women at work, this is seen by many as harassment. You've not engaged with others when they've brought up why it is wrong. Earlier in the thread you agreed with me that work place harassment is wrong. What am I meant to say back to it when you keep ignoring us?
The state of the industry shows that well, yeah. You probably think that's a good thing, though. Meritocracy, amirite?
This very forum is a social media platform. With user names instead of real names.
Yes, who are these psychos asking people out because they find them attractive? So weird.
Workplace harassment is wrong. I didn't harass the girl I asked out and she would tell you the same. I've engaged with plenty of people ITT regarding their view on asking out a person in this specific instance, and I've listened to all of those who have told me they don't like it. I also have experience working in the industry where I have listened to women who have said contrary things.
I'm not even close to doing whet you suggest I am.
Why do you assume that? I'm trying to align my experiences with what's being told ITT, I don't understand why some of you are being so hostile.
Also I'm tired of being lumped in with men, so I'm not even going to correct that any more.
You've made your points. Time for the thread to move forward from this. Thank you.
Women Ive talked to actually like the idea of a guy approaching them. They say men are too chicken to do it now days. Guys just usually stare.
To me, wanting to ask someone out predicated solely on their appearance - which this would be - is being a creep about it. You literally know nothing about me, yet for some reason you want to date me? Why? You don't know me. You're judging that you'll like dating me just because of how physically appealing I am to you. That's objectifying me, and it's creepy.
I've been reading through a lot of the comments here and I'm kinda confused.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
No one is telling you to do anything.I've been reading through a lot of the comments here and I'm kinda confused.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
Why do you assume that? I'm trying to align my experiences with what's being told ITT, I don't understand why some of you are being so hostile.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
I've been reading through a lot of the comments here and I'm kinda confused.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
Women of Era, how about on election day?
Let's say I'm in line waiting to vote and you're a few people ahead of me... if I walk up to you while you're filling out your ballot (nice hand writing btw I always struggle to fill in my circles completely!!! isn't that so funny), casually brush up against your leg in your polling booth, how do you think that'd go? I'm assuming because we both love democracy (trust me I love all of the issues, I'm very passionate, why else would I be voting) that you'd see that we're fellow travelers on this same cosmic journey and maybe we could get a drink. Plus, I overheard you mention where you live to the poll worker. I seriously live only a couple blocks from you, what are the odds that two lost connections end up at the same random spot on a Tuesday in November and just happen to live mere blocks from one another? I'm walking your way anyway, let's walk together.
What do you mean you're not interested?
Well what the fuck you just told your name to that old crusty fuck sitting at that table and you're not going to tell me your name? What's better about her than me? Why'd you tell her you were independent then? Don't you realize that when you tell A STRANGER that you're independent that most GOOD GUYS LIKE ME take that as a signal that as you're not currently seeing anyone and interested in meeting new people?
That's totally fine, just...
-don't be a dick
-know how to read signs and back off if they don't want to be talked to(I feel like a ton of men don't know how to do this at all)
-remember that many people who are open to chatting with someone in public aren't necessarily looking for a date and might just be a jolly extrovert who is open to talking to you
-also, don't be a dick
You are selectively reading.The idea that I got from the thread is that it's not ok to do at all.
To me, wanting to ask someone out predicated solely on their appearance - which this would be - is being a creep about it. You literally know nothing about me, yet for some reason you want to date me? Why? You don't know me. You're judging that you'll like dating me just because of how physically appealing I am to you. That's objectifying me, and it's creepy.
I've been reading through a lot of the comments here and I'm kinda confused.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
The idea that I got from the thread is that it's not ok to do at all.
Sorry about that. Seems like most are saying it's not a good idea to approach someone just to get a phone number.
Some are ok with it, most aren't. At least in this threadSorry about that. Seems like most are saying it's not a good idea to approach someone just to get a phone number.
May come as a shock.... but women don't want to be approached all the timeI've been reading through a lot of the comments here and I'm kinda confused.
If I, a man, see an attractive woman in public, I'm not supposed to approach her if I want to date her?
But my usual line of thinking goes like this:
1) See physically attractive woman (Nice hair, smile, body, whatever)
2) Confirm with myself that I'd like to be with physically attractive woman
3) Approach physically attractive woman and strike up conversation (Because I don't know anything else about her)
4) Learn about her to decide if I should continue to pursue (Do our personalities match up? Do we have similar interests? Is she single, taken, or not interested?)
5) Ask for her number or part ways based on step 4.
Is that creepy?
The idea that I got from the thread is that it's not ok to do at all.
That's totally fine, just...
-don't be a dick
-know how to read signs and back off if they don't want to be talked to(I feel like a ton of men don't know how to do this at all)
-remember that many people who are open to chatting with someone in public aren't necessarily looking for a date and might just be a jolly extrovert who is open to talking to you
-also, don't be a dick
"But how am I going to get mine?"I literally get the feeling that many men see hitting on women in public as needing to break a few eggs to make an omelette... and i'd like to think this would cause them to consider what that means but hey.
...Are you serious right now? Here's an idea, maybe women would like to be left alone and consider how they feel bother bothering them? Especially out in public and not in a social setting?
Okay, so I'm hostile to you, and you feel bad.
If a forum comment can make you feel bad, surely you realize that a parade of dudes hitting on a woman, with her having zero knowledge if any one of these guys will stalk/Harass/attack her or sabotage her career if she is too nice/not nice enough, would be far worse. And armed with that empathy, you should be able to realize why hitting on random women may not be the nicest thing.
After all, my forum comment to you was already "hostile". How would a woman feel after dealing with dude after dude harass.... trying to pick her up, hm?
But you don't know if she'd like to be left alone until you actually know.
I've struck up conversations casually with women and they weren't responsive.
I've also struck up conversations casually with women in public that led to a relationship.
Yes, it's silly to assume that all women want to talk to a random stranger, but isn't it also silly to assume that all women want to be left alone?
It's kind of bizzarre that the thread is called "women of ERA..." and most of it is guys blaming, justifying, rationalizing or discussing each other's behaviour.
It's literally a thread about "What women want?", you get women to say what they want, ignore them and proceed discussing what you think is right.
Lol yep, these threads always turn into the men talking to the men rather than listening to the women.
Y'all have NO IDEA HOW TERRIFYING it can be to simply say "no" to someone, think about how and why that could have come to be...
But you don't know if she'd like to be left alone until you actually know.
I've struck up conversations casually with women and they weren't responsive.
I've also struck up conversations casually with women in public that led to a relationship.
Yes, it's silly to assume that all women want to talk to a random stranger, but isn't it also silly to assume that all women want to be left alone?
I literally get the feeling that many men see hitting on women in public as needing to break a few eggs to make an omelette... and i'd like to think this would cause them to consider what that means but hey.