No offense, some of ya'll are losers. Met all my girlfriends through mutual friends and common interests. It's not that difficult leaving strangers minding their own business alone. Step your life game up.
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women of era, how do you feel about being "cold approached"?
- Thread starter hydrophilic attack
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Yep, that's how I eventually found my wife. She reached out to me, and 6 years later, we have been married for 3 years and have a 6 month old baby. Couldn't be more blessed :)
Cool for you, you're still not the subject of this thread which is basically hitting on total strangers in the bus or while they're buying laxative in a pharmacy.
So every women must be subjected to constant harrasment because YOU found success? So basically "fuck you, got mine".
If you guys have so much trouble getting into relationships it's probably bc you have no friends in the first place. Remedy that first. Talking to people in public to be friendly is fine if the culture of your area dictates that (Texas or whatever) but by god don't randomly hit on people or make suggestive comments to a stranger. An overwhelming majority of women here are saying no so stop saying yes.
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If they aren't a freezer into which I can stuff my many varieties of sausages, I'm not interested in knowing them, tbh.
i wanna know why married men are so concerned about the possibility that they might not be allowed to randomly approach women when they're minding their own business
Then you know that you don't have to talk to random people minding their own business to get a SO.
It's even more hilarious, he didn't found success through the method discussed in the thread, he actually used a dating app.
It's basically like a cyclist explaining to pedestrians that he has no problem sharing the road with cars and pedestrian should suck it up because as a cyclist he has no pb.
Women: No we don't like being cold-approached.
Men: But I am so special. How will I ever meet my one true love? What about MY feelings? Shouldn't I have the chance?
I
I
ME
Only my happiness matters
Guys!! Women don't like it. It is not a behaviour that is considerate of their feelings, and if you are a real nice guy then you will believe them and adjust your behaviour accordingly. You aren't being attacked, you are being asked to be empathetic and respectful.
Put it out of your mind that cold approaches work, or are a way of getting a date. Don't think of it as a possibility because women don't like it therefore it is unacceptable behaviour.
Men: But I am so special. How will I ever meet my one true love? What about MY feelings? Shouldn't I have the chance?
I
I
ME
Only my happiness matters
Guys!! Women don't like it. It is not a behaviour that is considerate of their feelings, and if you are a real nice guy then you will believe them and adjust your behaviour accordingly. You aren't being attacked, you are being asked to be empathetic and respectful.
Put it out of your mind that cold approaches work, or are a way of getting a date. Don't think of it as a possibility because women don't like it therefore it is unacceptable behaviour.
Confidence is what you have when you decide you're saving face and dignity, and not causing harm to others.
That's true courage.
Is quite something else right?
A thread asking women how they feel about cold approach. Which leads to get 90% of the replies from men.
Is like they are talking in our behalf.
OP
OP
that's a completely inaccurate and unrealistic hypothetical scenario that has no bearing on the actual universe we live in
it's pretty obvious at this point you're not engaging with the actual points people put time into making and that you're clearly trolling
You can't just lie and tell people that you got to know someone as an actual human being with thoughts and feelings and ideas and interests instead of being overcome by romantic and/or sexual interest as you observed a stranger engaged in the mundane necessitities of life. That's not how this works!
I asked a few clarifying questions ITT for future knowledge to share with my progeny.
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY TEACH THEM CONSENT!
That's for everyone with kids btw.
You're all just talking past each other at this point. Most of the men coming through this thread don't give a fuck that women don't want to be bothered and apparently there's nothing that can be done about it.
But you're ok with putting them in the awkward situation of having to reject the advances of yet another stranger and hoping they're fine with it?
Because they want to oogle women without feeling bad about it.
It's almost as if romantic relationships are more about the personality than what someone's dick feels, but these man-children refuse to understand that. Thanks for sticking with this thread for so long though.
lol right?
women, how do you feel about corn?
well I quite like it
HERE'S WHY THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE LEMME EXPLAIN
I've never approached a girl to ask for their number but would this still be weird at a convention or a concert? That's where I could imagine myself to do it to find people that were interested in the same stuff I am (and potentially hang out and keep in contact)
Let organic conversations happen rather than going after digits
I'll never understand why the reaction to "Please don't do <THING THAT INVOLVES DIRECT AND DELIBERATE INTERACTION> with me" is anything but "Okay, of course".
It's utterly galling that knowing lots of women don't like being casually approached doesn't make everyone step back and say "Well I guess I won't do that".
It's utterly galling that knowing lots of women don't like being casually approached doesn't make everyone step back and say "Well I guess I won't do that".
Wait, based on what has been said in this thread (which is a vast majority of women saying they don't like it, it makes them uncomfortable, feel unsafe, etc.), your take is, "oh cool let me try it"?
What?
That's your issue to work out. Not mine.
Wanted to get to them? What does that even mean. I talked to the people I was already interacting with more personally? That makes you cringe?
In the mean time I am teaching my daughter on how to deal with creeps that approach her in public how to turn them down without endangering herself. How to be polite but never give out personal information like a phone number, what to do when a guy can't handle "no" and they keep following her, how to find help when guys like that will get verbally or physically violent.
My "progeny" is going to college next year and is having to deal with lovely guys like the ones above in this thread. you know the ones who say they respect women but have spent 25 pages long not listening to a single word we say.
While consent seems a bit out of context for this discussion - I sure will. I only have a daughter at the moment, so talking about consent will be important so she feels empowered to take the appropriate action if someone isn't asking for it. I'll also know how she feels if/when she complains to me about creepy behavior from men down the road (though I understand her sharing those experiences may not happen).
Tbh this thread is worth it for some of the hilarious sarcastic reactions of fellow ERA women
I'd buy you gals a beer
After asking of course ;)
I'd buy you gals a beer
After asking of course ;)
Dunning-Kruger is a huge problem with cold approaches. Yes, ideally women would be all right with them if as much as a disinterested glance was enough to signal a man no, and they were skilled enough at reading body language to understand and accept. That's not the world we live in. I consider myself pretty used to social cues, but I do miss them. Everyone does. And you miss more cues than you think, always. So I stay away from initiating with people I don't know unless I'm getting very obvious social cues.
Having said that - and others can feel free to correct me here - all of that doesn't mean you can't talk to women in public. Festivals, for example, are a good place to talk to people because everyone is there for a social interaction. But don't go to a festival looking to hit on a woman, and if you leave without a number it's a failure. Just engage them as a fellow festival-goer and err on the side of "time to back off" if you are unsure of the vibe (again, see paragraph 1). If they are interested, they'll come back to talk to you.
Having said that - and others can feel free to correct me here - all of that doesn't mean you can't talk to women in public. Festivals, for example, are a good place to talk to people because everyone is there for a social interaction. But don't go to a festival looking to hit on a woman, and if you leave without a number it's a failure. Just engage them as a fellow festival-goer and err on the side of "time to back off" if you are unsure of the vibe (again, see paragraph 1). If they are interested, they'll come back to talk to you.
I mean, ignoring women's feelings in the matter does seem to be the MO for men in this thread in general.
Why are you like this?
You're kind of making of a point one moment, but then you take it to such an absolute extreme, literally no other person could agree.
Tell me where I am wrong. What I am saying is a win-win for both the guy and the girl.
Congrats on the little bundle of joy, seriously it's actually pretty easy to overlook to teach consent to kids (there's already a billion things to pass on to them already).
Ideally a woman she can count on would be best to help her to navigate the hellscape that is modern society.
I think we had a thread about the relationship between father/daughter and how fathers tend to be all macho overprotective so that the daughter HAD to protect the feelings of the father at all cost, from a rando on the internet to another rando on the internet please for your daughter's sake don't be that kind of father.
We've got a dude who really want to do the news as a white woman call the police on him.
If I cold approached someone else, but their body language said otherwise, then I respect that and move on.
However, if they show interest back, then I'll carry on with the conversation.
Because talking to someone face to face is more enjoyable than texting when youre BOTH (keyword here) enjoying the conversation. You can also read people better. No matter how hard you try, you can't spin this to be a bad thing.
So it's purely for shared interest, and you have no intention to ever develop it into a romantic relationship.
Major oversight on my part there, I tend to freely offer beers even to people who don't necessarily want one.
I'll keep wasting my money.
I kinda like offering beer.
Also that doesn't mean I want to talk to you or anything if I'm offering you a beer.
At this point, I have to ask, what are men here actually looking for in a SO? I mean, I'm asexual and aromantic so maybe I "just don't get it", but I thought a SO is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Isn't compatibility, shared interests, and actual care for each other. Why are men looking in grocery stores for such things with strangers they don't even know for SOs?
You wouldn't understand this but lots of men just wanna get their dick wet first and if it leads to an SO that's cool too
Hey I'll apologize. I let my interactions with OP from a thread the day before affect my outlook on this thread. I also thought the original post in the dating thread was more geared towards being able to be more social in everyday life, with the added benefit of meeting women that were interested in him. The last few years I've been able to be a lot more social. I feel very comfortable initiating small talk with strangers, both men and women, without hoping for romantic or sexual relationships.
And they question why they're so unsuccessful?
And the vast majority of women telling you that no, people don't leave them alone doesn't register to you at all?
They're not looking for SO's if they're talking to women on the street and in grocery stores.
hey women of ResetERA is it okay if i yank off a girl's headphones so she will talk to me on the bus
