I still can't believe that guy said
"Well is being uncomfortable that bad"?
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women of era, how do you feel about being "cold approached"?
- Thread starter hydrophilic attack
- Start date
"Well is being uncomfortable that bad"?
Well, putting aside dating for a moment, having friends is simply going to benefit you as a means to have a healthy mental and social life. It's going to put you in a more positive mood, boost your self-esteem and confidence, expand your horizons and interests, and give your life more variety. This in itself makes you a more attractive partner romantically.
For dating, friends are important because they can show someone that you are a functioning person capable of maintaining healthy relationships in your life. They show that you are the type of person people enjoy calling a friend. They show that you won't be fully dependent on a dating partner for all your emotional needs and that you will have other things to do in your life when the two of you aren't meeting up so that you aren't overly clingy. Besides what having friends demonstrates, friends can ALSO turn into potential dating partners, which is why I said it was a win-win.
Yeah I saw your 2nd post. Didn't know you were including the cold approaching aspect.
Well, you wouldn't really know until you chatted them up and they would either tell you or simply say theyre not interested.
OP
OP
if you only approach in those situations (and you're damn sure about what you saw) i'd say that's different
(using the PUA lingo, it would be more of a lukewarm approach than a stone cold one)
The women here are giving the exact same advice you'll get in just about any other place.
The Dudes seem to have learned romance from Mass Effect.
Really? If someone is very lonely due to for example anxiety, a simple smile to that person can make his day.
I mean wouldn't "Actually, most females I met, used the wood chipper"? be even better, it's more subtlety that some of the posts in the thread have.
Good thing that thing's on wheels, maybe we can roll it in here and ask for it's opinion on whether trees don't know if they like being chipped until a beautifully crunchy relationship blossoms.
I would say in general that having no friends and dating is red flag of sorts, not bury you in their backyard red flag like mentioning it as part of a cold approach, but in general it means that you'd become their one and only emotional contact, and yeah that's a red flag for likely disaster.
Yes! A lot of the people here saying "dont fucking talk to others in public" dont realize that small acts of kindness go a long way towarsa brightening somebody elses day. This is completely separate from trying to flirt/pick up women/dudes, by the way.
That's not what Im saying.
Like on my campus, there's a lot of info screens that has this "Sometime, smiling to a person or asking a person to a coffee might brighten the persons day".
I'm sorry but women are not responsible for men's happiness, especially if they are strangers.
What if I don't want to smile or be approached? It is not my job to make random men feel better.
Yes, which again tracing this convo line back is why I said to develop a circle of friends before relying on dating for stuff like that. Especially before cold approaching women. Friends are amazing for kindness and helping with anxiety.
Thats not at all what either of us said....
Edit: well thats not what I meant at least lol
No I am saying, I've only done it 3 times. All ended up in dates (like at least 3 each) and two are best friends. Friendships I and they cherish.
There's a way to go about telling someone they're super interesting and you'll let them have your details.
I have asked 3 friends at work today and the reply was, if they are polite and take no for an answer, they dont mind. But hey, fuck anecdotal evidence.
The question I proposed was - a guy politely asking for a phone number in public.
I wouldn't say it would likely be their only emotional contact. There's always family.
You know what, fine. You, and soley you, are 100% correct. Not every women in this thread, not the women who have told you no, only you because apparently only you know what every women is thinking. Truly we are blessed by such a psychic in our mists.
Before I came out as transgender.
I don't really... Approach anyone anymore haha, but I have been approached by girls now.
Honestly I get it. I have never had MEN approach me and I will hate it when it happens but being respectful is super important. I'm just saying there's a way to do it. It isn't some high priority way to meet women.
I know guys who are super PUA like and gross af and that's not what I am saying is fine to do every now and then.
Coming from someone with awful social anxiety and loneliness, I get what you guys are saying but the fact is that no one is responsible for trying to make your day better. If you have a mental illness that's holding you back in life it's on you to do something about it, not anyone else. As much as I would love it if someone were to randomly start a conversation with me or even just acknowledge my existence when I'm out and about, its not their job or responsibility to.
So what is the argument, it's just too hard for men? Gonna have to miss me with that. It isn't anyone else's fault someone doesn't have a partner and no woman needs to suffer advances because of it.
"I don't give a shit what women have to say"
Why not just say that?
Dude you literally replied to me talking about how if someone with literally zero friends tries to cold apporach me I'm running away... to talk about how I should smile at them, I'm not going to give them false hope that I'm the sparkle unicorn that will make all their pain go away...
I smile when something makes me happy,, not so some dude who thinks my time his his feels better about himself as he tries to get my number.
You are out of your mind if you think a stranger will tell you their sexuality as if was their favorite pizza. People are constantly putting their lives in danger when they come out.
In this thread, we have established that, as usual, men are the true victims here. Never mind that men might harass us, rape us, or even kill us, we still owe them courtesy and a smile. Behold, the patriarchy.
I asked my husband if he likes getting kicked in the balls, and he said yes.
guess what's coming, boys! yeehaw!
guess what's coming, boys! yeehaw!
My boyfriend happens to agree. 2 is a perfectly valid sample size.
This thought process is scientifically sound.
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hm, i did actually hear that CBT could help men who are having problem with dating
i met my last two boyfriends by kicking them in the balls at the supermarket, I'm not gonna stop.
I mean, I know that, thats why I said they could also say theyre not interested. I only said they would tell them their sexuality because I tell ppl at my uni im gay right off the bat when it seems we may become friends, though I know the experience is different for women.
Yep, it was successful once so obviously it's successful 100% of the time no matter what those males might say.
I swear to god I tried finding a gif of Natalie Wynn saying "femoid" but my googlefu ended up in pretty dark places.
Upside Adam Conover knows Natalie Wynn, I feel like all the good youtubers know each other and are friend or something...
e: I was searching that because someone mentioned the bingo missing a "female" case
Upside Adam Conover knows Natalie Wynn, I feel like all the good youtubers know each other and are friend or something...
e: I was searching that because someone mentioned the bingo missing a "female" case
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OK, sorry for assuming
If there's anything that both the small minority of women who are ok with it and the vast majority who hates it seem to agree on, it's that how you go about it really matters a lot, and that one really shouldn't do it unless one has highly developed social skills and can take a hint with grace. The kind of people who'd go for advice to websites and youtubers that use "cold approach" as standard lingo most definitely lack those qualities
Even my 3rd husband who died in a mysterious lumber accident agreed 100% sound
So your all saying I should wear a cup in public? Sigh. It all started with one dumb husband.....
But I was told that all males like it and think it is flattering.
Look how many men are just so eager to run into the wood chipper! Clearly all men love it! Anyone who says otherwise is clearly wrong.
