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women of era, how do you feel about being "cold approached"?
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From my perspective it's also super weird when you realize how little they give a shit about women's perspective outside of the West.
Like let's not pretend that Russia, the middle East, India, China or South America is a heaven for women either.
"The basic biological differences between Men and Women" have never been all that cut-and-dry either. I'm usually wary of where statements like that wind up going ideologically
Only because the power dynamic is towards straight men. Imagine a world where women were physically stronger and chased men down blocks, catcalled them in a higher frequency, slutshamed, threatened with rape and violence after rejections, etc.
Actually there's a French film by Eleanore Pourriat all about that kind of alternative world, I Am Not An Easy Man.
Oh, I completely understand why it happens. I just think the reverse is amusing.
Looks like a cool flick. Will have to check it out! Thanks.
Because it's funny to me how some of these right wing Americans always blabbing on and on about patriotic pride and how everyone always thinks Americans got it figured out, not realizing the great level of ignorance within them.
Ok so are you just here to use women to troll the US then?
Because why do I give a fuck what the US thinks when I'm talking about your words. You didn't say right wing Americans, you said the West as if women's situations are so grande outside of it.
'Hey... hey girl... you know... Hulk (2003) is the best super hero film.'
I tried with him earlier.
This will be you.
If I was trying to avoid talking to walls I'd probably not have 25k posts XD
I am not just here to troll the US. I made plenty of comments in this thread already.
I don't think I could cold approach a woman. I would have died from a heart attack from being a nervous wreck before I could even open my mouth.
Then why won't you expand on what you meant by The West instead of constantly dodging?
Because when I migrated to a Western country, I saw the issue of cold approaching much more prevalent than where I was raised.
WTF is there to be up in arms about?
Because it's pretty frustrating to see women's issues be used as a wedge to take shots at The West again as if women's privacy and safety is so considered elsewhere.
It makes it sound like it's a problem with Western Culture and not you know global patriarchy that pretty much permeates the majority of the world.
Often it's usually done to downplay women;s issues in other places.
Yeah I wasn't really talking about just finding some random person and messaging them on FB. More like you meet someone IRL, add each other, and then DM.
You know it isn't about how you might be nervous right?
Yup. All facts.
Oh I'm not a lady, but as a guy, we've actually been culturally primed to act out in this manner. It's really bad...it's like you have to jack out Matrix style to realize the truth.
I am not downplaying the issue, it was anecdotal comment on my childhood,. I have been vocal on how Women shouldn't be approached like that ever offline/online, and got mocked for it in this very thread.
It's just worth keeping in mind how invoking "The West" comes off
Because it definitely comes off like you think Women being sexually harassed is just a product of Western culture
"ladies, how do you feel about being cold approached?"
"as a man, approaching women is so nerve-wracking :("
It's about women's views on harassment. Why make a issue that affects women deeply about, your own nervousness? You lead with not having the courage to be able to harass someone.
And yet people seem to be under the impression this is a progressive place when it comes to women's issues.
The sad thing is, as far as video game related social media goes, it probably is.
No, you said no one should ever talk to anyone ever period except for emergencies. And we pointed out plenty of times that you were taking things to extremes.
The girl tweeted it was just her dad. Likely making a bad joke.
She responded, it was apparently her dad lol.
As for the whole conversation bit, it kinda weirds me out how everyone's so isolated now.
Where I'm from, people will at least look at each other and say hello. When I'm on the coasts, it seems like everyone looks away from each other and stays within their own bubble. I never felt more alone than walking the streets of LA .
I understand those who don't want to be approached in the context of potential dating, but those who are just straight up "don't talk to me, don't look at me" make me kinda sad that being friendly is considered as sinister.
Oh. Well yeah. I wanna chat in here, can't offer perspective on women's viewpoint, and so I made my post. The original question seems to have been moved on from and evolved to a bunch of different strings tying back to the main question, and talking about being nervous is my attempt at getting to talk about the kind of personality that can brute force into a cold approach, make a woman uncomfortable, and have no realization (or care). For myself, I couldn't even approach.
Sorry :(
Narrative Narrative Narrative.
How many people jumped to conclusions with that video...
So glad that girl diffused the situation.
OP
OP
Lol, go to the RDR2 Feminism thread if you want to see progressive gamers at work.
This place is a gaming forum first, and a lot of people on gaming side follow shitbag Youtubers that later reveal themselves to be alt-right misogynist. These followers then play the whole, "oh wow, I had no idea this person was a piece of shit" as if this isn't a gaming wide problem and alt-right groups don't recruit gamergaters. Some may be truly mislead, others, eh. All in all, it's never a surprise to me when these people get exposed.
This place and gaming as a whole will be more progressive towards women's issues the moment people care as much about women's issues in gaming or generally speaking as they do actively hating a mobile Diablo game. In other forms of entertainment where this is still an issue, you'll never see this shit because women make up much more of the base audiences or the fact that there are prominent female figures in those forms of entertainment (music/movies/tv). Gaming is still way behind the curb.
The real rub with these shitbag YouTubers is after they are revealed to be shitbags, people still follow them. Hell, some even go up in subscriber count in the long run.
Women aren't these helpless doe eyed babes in the woods. They know when a guy is just chatting or if he's trying to get laid. You can talk to women in any situation, I do it all the time and since in not talking for the purpose of getting laid it goes over well.
Again going "I can't approach" makes it about you not the issue at hand regardless of your intentions. It's not a personality it is systemic issue women face. Reducing it to a personality is a mockery of our issues.
I was on another forum that recently asked women the same question. The difference was it was more 50/50. A lot of those women seemed annoyed that men would make eye contact and not approach, believing they were wusses, whereas there were other women whose answers resembled what was being said here. Another thing is they didn't really use the word "harassment" in the same way as the people do here. If a guy kept following or persisting, yes, they regarded him as a creepy stalker. A guy with a genuine approach, though? They (even the women who aren't receptive to it in general) usually regarded him as just another guy "shooting his shot", and had no sour feelings about it since those guys knew when to take a hike.
I think men do have to be mindful about the things they do in general. I understand why a lot of women hate it and have their guard up whenever they're out.
I think men do have to be mindful about the things they do in general. I understand why a lot of women hate it and have their guard up whenever they're out.
If you've been making eyes and friendly glances at each other, it's no longer a cold approach.
I think you misunderstood my post a little, because as I said I have never cold approached anyone because I would never want to bother them or make them feel uncomfortable or waste their time. And I'm not about to start.
I understand the point you were making but in terms of time wasting and time wasting alone, being cold approached is taking what, a few seconds out of someone's day, a few minutes at most? Incomparable to the hours you would spend browsing a dating app, chatting with someone on the app, trying to think of interesting, funny replies, arranging a date, travelling to/from the date and the actual time spent with them.
I'd say that on average a date costs me at least 5 hours of my time. It's very disheartening to go through that entire process over and over again just to discover that you have no spark/connection with someone.
Whereas if you meet someone in real life whether it be at a party, hobbie group, at work or wherever, you can often feel a connection with someone straight away. And I think most single people these days yearn for that type of connection.
I don't think there's anything natural about online dating. Nobody really enjoys it do they? Everyone online dating just complains about how terrible online dating is. It's become a chore for many.
I've been doing online dating in it's various forms for 18 years, from chat rooms to social media to dating sites to Tinder/Bumble and beyond. Most of my past relationships were met online, and none of them worked out.
Amongst all of my friends that have partners, almost all of them met their partner through friends, hobbies, out partying etc.
And those seem to be the strongest couples. Only one has met someone online that they've been with for over a year.
The rest that use online dating never seem to be with anyone beyond a few dates.
I've got lots of varied hobbies and I have several circles of friends.
In the past couple of weeks I've been in plenty of social scenarios such as a Halloween party, a life drawing class, Comic Con, the opening night of an art show I was exhibiting in, at the pub drinking with friends etc.
In all of these situations there were women who I found attractive/interesting, but I still felt extremely uncomfortable approaching them. And in instances where they approached me or I was introduced to someone, I have no problem talking to people, but I have no idea if anyone is interested in me romantically or if they're just being sociable.
Unless they're giving out extremely obvious signals, which people rarely do unless they're very drunk, I am generally oblivious to subtle signals.
I have no idea how people cross that line between being social/friendliness and romance.
Can't it be a personality and a systemic issue? Or cultural. It seems to oversimplify to say one or the other when there are tons of factors at play.
