Earthbound64, why would you even want to date someone who's parents can take her phone and internet away on a whim? Get a grip and move on. Don't waste the energy on this.
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It does feel a little weird. That said a few of use tried to tell you to slow it down and you waved us off, coupled that with this way too extreme reaction over something you in no way should have invested in this much, this quickly, it's pretty hard for me to sympathize. I know you feel down on your luck and what not but take this as a time to self improve, take this as a time to step back from the dating game for awhile. I don't think you're ready or have been ready to put yourself out there. Take a step back.
I hate to be that guy but after your reading all your post, it seems like she half-agrees with her parents are using them to help justify ending things with you. I don't think they're as controlling as she's saying. That doesn't mean you're not a good guy but maybe she doesn't want to have a 1,000 mile relationship. That can be frustrating. Good luck, man.
Anyone here dealt with overwhelming insecurity? I feel like I've had it all my life with a crazy critical inner voice and its destroying me when I'm in a relationship.
Yep.. and I talked about it at the old site a few times as well.
I used to sleep walk in general a lot as a kid, and have remained a super active sleeper and sleep talker. As a kid I used to do goofy stuff like go stand in the backyard or use the toilet in my parents bedroom (which was far from my room and I never used when I was conscious)
Anyway, If I'm sleeping with a girl in my bed and in a deep active sleep, I'll tend to do things like wake her up and talk to her, tell her to do sexual things to me, randomly start fucking her, pull her on top of me, etc. Sometimes I wake up, sometimes I am kind of in a hazy state like you mentioned and I can remember bits and pieces of it, sometimes I don't know it happened at all until the girl tells me the next day.
Kind of a shitty problem I guess and yea there are issues like consent that might come up i suppose, but so far every girl it's happened with has A) been in my bed and cool with sex with me already , and B) able to laugh about the crazy sleep sex or conversation the next day.
I also tend to warn girls that I'm an active sleeper and maybe even will talk to and do weird stuff to them in the night. If they want they can just wake me up or push me away when I get going and it's ok, I won't be mad to be woken up.
Thanks for the advice!
Yeah as far as I know I've never sleep walked or anything, I do talk in my sleep though and apparently gesture my arms sometimes but that was about it. If i ever end up dating someone else I think I'll just warn them ahead of time and give them the go ahead to smack the fuck out of me to get me to stop.
It happens. I half wake up on occasion and will be all touchy feely with my partner. We talked about it because it was such a weird uncomfortable situation. Now she usually just pinches me hard if it happens (And proceeds to make fun of me in the morning!)
It's not a big deal, just talk about it.
I feel like there's some embellishment in the story as well.
Sorry Earth. Keep your chin up.
If this was true then you'd have bought her a one way plane ticket and she'd be with you already. Y'all are adults. If she really wanted it then she'd do it.
When the Wii first came out I used to waggle my arms around at night and annoy the hell out of my gf at the time I also used to sleep talk and call her my ex gfs name. She hated me. Good memories.
Because I'm a Bojack and my critical inner voice is trying to sabotage a good thing because I expect the worst. I live in this self deprecating bubble that I narcissistically hold to myself. Its crazy how much I keep myself down so much so that my boss and girlfriend tells me as much.
Maybe you should address this before you negatively impact your job and your relationship.
Try therapy. Having that negative inner voice is not a good thing, nor is it sustainable.
Yup. We are buckling down for a cozy december. Can't wait.
Are you sure you arent a zelda?
But seriously I'm sorry to hear that. I also have a pretty self deprecating mindset but it usually only comes around when I get drunk. But I still have my own smaller insecurities during my sober moments, my weight, my appearance, my intelligence, my writing skills, etc.
If you haven't disclosed any of your insecurities or self deprecating thoughts with your significant other, then you might need to. It helps them know where minefields may lie, and be more sensitive on certain topics. And they can possibly help you overcome them. At least it has helped me so far.
But it also sounds like you may want to see a therapist or someone much more qualified than us to help you navigate these issues, especially if they're afflicting you as deeply as you say. It's not selfish to want to be happy and you deserve it even if the voice in your head says you don't.
Lol I'm 100% def a Zoe.
Thanks guys, my S/O is super understanding and we have indeed talked about it between us. I do see a therapist, its just I always feel like my willpower to hold on to these aspects of myself overrides everything else. Its super frustrating. Always even more depressing knowing how much ive enabled and conditioned myself this way and the long road ahead is just daunting as hell.
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Had to leave work early. GF needs me to take her to the hospital. She woke up with severe back pain and could barely get out of bed.
Honestly, I think the same thing. It sounds exactly like every episode of MTV's Catfish
Yeah I thought the same from reading the extent of the relationship. This sucks and I'm sure it feels bad but I think just looking at the silver lining, at least there's nothing to be attached about, nothing significant to be lost here. You never met and only talked for a month so at the very least it's not upending your day to day life. In fact, it might have been better for this to happen now than further down the road when you invested far more physically and emotionally. You'll move past it, Earthbound64.
Good luck.
I think he was catfished, the setup was too perfect and they just got bored after.a month.
I kind of have that too and its really annoying for relationships, its like poison to it if left uncontrolled.
Like I almost ended my relationship today with this girl I've been dating since mid september because she didnt tell me any word of encouragement to a Final exam I had today.
I felt like she didnt care about me and that she lost interest due to not saying any word like good luck nor anything even though she has been saying a lot of caring words to me usually like the spanish weaker version of "I Love you" often
But to me words are words and are not really important, I have seen a lot how words become routine and dont really mean that the person saying it really feels that. So what I find most important and value way more in relationships are actions. I find actions really tell if someone is interested or not, and the fact that she didnt say any word of encouragement really hitted me like a punch in the gut at that point, which I communicated to her and she profoundly apologized but I was still hurt.
Now we talked in the phone and cleared things up. In my mind that lack of action showed lack of affection/care but well she communicated to me that she cares a lot about me, she fked up, was in a hurry and had an event in mind etc.
Thing is all of this happened mostly because of my insecurity, it sucks, im taking this oportunity to vent about it as well...
I guess therapy is the best answer to it, so far I cant afford one and have been trying "mental tactics" to tackle it, which kind of have helped me bring it down a lot compared to before at least..
Today I overreacted yes but usually im way better than before, I've been improving in this aspect. What helps me is thinking like "if it happens then it happens, I will just try elsewhere" or "well if she isnt interested anymore/ or cheated then it sucks massively, but life goes on, im the most important person in my life and have to look for myself, I will just try with other one".
Even if those sentences sound kind of douchey they have helped me a lot in dealing with insecurity overall, basically reminding yourself that YOU are the most important person in YOUR life, the only person that will always be with you is yourself, so you might as well go easy on you and care about yourself more than others. An approach like that might help you as well idk. I have "relapses" from time to time like in my case today, but its usually way better and more controlled than before, at least for now.
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To you, she may have seemed perfect. To us, we had been bringing up the issues, telling you not to raise your expectations, and not to over-invest from the very start.
Let this be a lesson to be realistic in the future so you don't break down like this again. You deserve better.
This really does help. I'm actually in a similar boat. I have a girlfriend who throws so much affection daily but my paranoid mind fixated on the one day she didnt even say good morning to me and I run circles with it, going way beyond irrational thought in the process. It's really hard to reign on trying not to throw your happiness on the circumstances and personality of others when you're so deeply insecure. I'm glad I can relate to you and I wish you all the best, keep the positive thoughts coming no matter what man.
User has been permanently banned for trolling.
Hi guys. I'm new in this forum so bare with me.
I have been going out/dating with a cute girl this past month. Last Sunday was our third time going out and we had a great time. Every time we go out she texted right after I dropped her at her house and the next day so I think that is a good sign that at least she is interested. I'm trying to go really slow because I suck at this.
The other thing I want to mention is that I'm 32 and she is 19. I'm hoping for the best.
I have been going out/dating with a cute girl this past month. Last Sunday was our third time going out and we had a great time. Every time we go out she texted right after I dropped her at her house and the next day so I think that is a good sign that at least she is interested. I'm trying to go really slow because I suck at this.
The other thing I want to mention is that I'm 32 and she is 19. I'm hoping for the best.
Oh look its Dinokill. Your reputation preceedes you. Your "innocent" question is a blatant troll of EB64.
Good luck dude. Weren't you a frequent poster on Gaf? Had some weird punk avatar with hands reaching out or something?
Oh. Thought the name was familiar.
I'm serious dude. I'm no trolling anybody. I know I posted some dumb shit on GAF before but I don't want to start shit in this thread.
And that wasn't a question. I was just resuming my dates in the past month which I'm really hopeful
Yeah. I used to post there but not much
Why would I lie? My intention was to post my experiences with this girl so far.
I read this thread yesterday while I was waiting confirmation to be accepted in this forum and I did read what is happening to Earthbound64 and I'm sorry he is going through that but by no means my intention was to troll him or make him feel even worse
Because your an attention seeking troll and you've already lied in your 2nd post. "I used to post there but not much" isnt someone that became a gaf meme "Im posing in a Dinokill thread" and then eventually got permabanned.
Huh, not really sure what just happened there...
What are peoples' thoughts on texting between 1st and 2nd dates? Or even the 2nd and 3rd? I went out with someone the other week and we have the second date planned for this weekend. Unfortunately, there had to be a 2 week period between the dates just because of Thanksgiving and some other schedule conflicts so I've sent them a couple of texts back and forth on 3 seperate occasions just to keep the ball rolling I guess but I always worry if I'm coming off too eager by texting them anything other than to confirm the next date. I've had 2 different female friends have guys texting them a lot between dates recently, one loved it and the other thought it was annoying so I guess this is just one of those YMMV type things?
What are peoples' thoughts on texting between 1st and 2nd dates? Or even the 2nd and 3rd? I went out with someone the other week and we have the second date planned for this weekend. Unfortunately, there had to be a 2 week period between the dates just because of Thanksgiving and some other schedule conflicts so I've sent them a couple of texts back and forth on 3 seperate occasions just to keep the ball rolling I guess but I always worry if I'm coming off too eager by texting them anything other than to confirm the next date. I've had 2 different female friends have guys texting them a lot between dates recently, one loved it and the other thought it was annoying so I guess this is just one of those YMMV type things?
I always read to keep light on texting until you get to know them because if you talk over text there's nothing to talk about in person and it's only been a few dates so you need all you can get
Indeed it is a YMMV thing, theres no hard rule though texting to keep the ball rolling due to the 2 week break is a good idea. I wouldn't stress it.
Definitely a YMMV situation.
I've currently got a 2nd date organised for next weekend at the moment and we tend to be decently chatty. She'll either message me or I'll message her every couple of days and we exchange a few messages for an hour or two just catching up, asking about work, films, TV, podcasts, music, general shite really.
But I've dated girls in the past who you could tell don't really dig it until you've gone on a few dates so you've just gotta take it as it comes, get a read on the situation and go from there.
Enjoy your 2nd date this weekend though.
Is there any point to continue talking to a girl after she says no? I'm not that intersted in being her friend after all.
I had a crush on this girl forever, but she had a long term BF and yeah not intersted in even attempting to mess that up. But recently I found out they broke up and my friend gave her my Snapchat. She added me. We messaged back and forth for 3 weeks. I asked her if she wanted to see a movie casually. She sort of said yes but made note that she worked a lot. So somewhat ok, I'm in no rush. But eventually I did say I was intersted in her. She said that she liked talking to me but she just got out of a serious realationship and was focusing on herself. Which is understandable.
But for some reason we are still casually talking and since I've already been rejected I don't know why I shouldn't just stop talking to her.
I had a crush on this girl forever, but she had a long term BF and yeah not intersted in even attempting to mess that up. But recently I found out they broke up and my friend gave her my Snapchat. She added me. We messaged back and forth for 3 weeks. I asked her if she wanted to see a movie casually. She sort of said yes but made note that she worked a lot. So somewhat ok, I'm in no rush. But eventually I did say I was intersted in her. She said that she liked talking to me but she just got out of a serious realationship and was focusing on herself. Which is understandable.
But for some reason we are still casually talking and since I've already been rejected I don't know why I shouldn't just stop talking to her.
Don't try too hard and give her too much attention, let her do herself and if she is interested in you in the future she can initiate.
Thanks man, I wish you the best too :)
You should pull out and try elsewhere, if she comes with a serious invitation then go ahead but until then just dont even try or you are gonna waste your time and energy.
Also stop talking to her, yes.
If you're not interested in her friendship then stop talking to her.
I mean do you want to be her friend? Can you just be here friend? But yes, move on romantically.
No, I'm not really intersted in being her friend. I'm not against it or anything. And while I thought it was obvious what my angle was as I was asking around if she still had a bf which is why my friend had talked to her and given her my Snapchat in the first place. I still thought it was better if I made it clear. Maybe I shouldn't have, I don't know. I don't belive in the friend zone thing but I've been told you do have to make your intentions clear early. So I did and she said she wasn't looking for that right now. That's fine.
But some friends(male and female) have said that since she's still responding, I should continue talking to her. Since maybe there is some interest there. I just think that's a waste of time and while it seems kind of douchy to just stop talking to her cold, I mean the reality is she basicly said no and when she's ready for something it will eventually be with some other dude.
But some friends(male and female) have said that since she's still responding, I should continue talking to her. Since maybe there is some interest there. I just think that's a waste of time and while it seems kind of douchy to just stop talking to her cold, I mean the reality is she basicly said no and when she's ready for something it will eventually be with some other dude.
Thanks for the advice everyone. Definitely was overthinking the texting thing. Makes sense to just gauge their response to your texts and act accordingly.
I think you should stop if you don't want to talk to her as a friend and are only interested in pursuing something romantic with her. Even if she's still responding, you can just let the conversation fade. I doubt what you're talking about is that important that it would be an issue if you stopped talking. Like others said, if she's interested in going out with you because she feels like she's ready now, the ball's in her court and she'll initiate. Like you said, the reality is that she said no.
I think you should stop if you don't want to talk to her as a friend and are only interested in pursuing something romantic with her. Even if she's still responding, you can just let the conversation fade. I doubt what you're talking about is that important that it would be an issue if you stopped talking. Like others said, if she's interested in going out with you because she feels like she's ready now, the ball's in her court and she'll initiate. Like you said, the reality is that she said no.
