I don't know if it's because of where I live, but I'm virtually NEVER approached by normal-seeming or appealing guys my age. That's something that straight men in these topics constantly miss. When a man hits on me he's always a boundary-crossing person who's much MUCH older than me or has terrible hygiene or is in some other way never ever going to be someone I would date. At my new job, which is public-facing, I'm finding that I'm constantly being hit on, and it's awful. I'm convinced these men know, at least on some level, that what they're doing wouldn't work if I wasn't literally forced to interact with them and be baseline level polite. (And there's so much fishing for my age, because I look younger, it's just bleeeeegh gross. And then making me shake their hand, too, when I don't want to.)
I've had men who I think were likely socially awkward and "practicing" talking to women really scare me. One man like that started following me to my car once, and I was terrified. While he was awkwardly saying something and I was stiffly smiling and saying empty nice things (in case he
wasn't just an awkward guy) I was running through different ways I could run away or get back in the building I'd just left for help. I remember thinking "I should go back inside now and if I don't and he hurts me I'll always blame myself."
Something a man """cold approaching""" me means an adrenaline spike out of nowhere. A lot of the time it means I have to manage the feelings of a strange man I've never met before. Lots of fake smiling and laughing and then pretending I have a boyfriend so he leaves me alone.
I mentioned to my mom recently that I was thinking about getting a fake wedding ring to wear at work because so many men have been making me uncomfortable. She didn't bat an eye and said it sounded like a good idea. Isn't that incredibly fucked up?? It's so common for women to have to deal with constant unwanted sexualized bullshit that both of us thought that was normal.
I understand those who don't want to be approached in the context of potential dating, but those who are just straight up "don't talk to me, don't look at me" make me kinda sad that being friendly is considered as sinister.
Frankly, I'm much less nice and pleasant to men than I am to women, because men take simple politeness as interest. I like smiling and joking with people, but I've had it backfire too many times. And unfortunately, most of the time when a man I've never met starts talking to me in public, there's been an ulterior motive. I've had plenty of nice experiences with men too, but It's always Schrodinger's Creep and I can't know until the interaction is over.