Today (Nov 19th) is International Men's Day (Read OP)
- Thread starter Falconbox
- Start date
I've seen a few comments online about every day being men's day and it doesn't wash with me. If this event helps hilight the issues and terrible stats then I support it. It's not about drawing lines and igniting sex wars.
Ref. comments about a specific type of person celebrating the day, yeah you get shitbags everywhere. But it's not just a bunch of mysoginists celebrating - it's getting global appeal. It was even advertised in my workplace and there was a talk on it. And I work for one of the most inclusive organisations I've ever encountered (meaning we have groups dedicated to the representation and rights of women within the organisation).
Not cool. But you do you, I guess...
The dismissive 'every day is men's day' thought really undermines the real point which is to raise awareness about issues that men suffer. A lot of them are issues that people in general suffer, of course, but as mentioned the whole attitude that men have is to simply ignore many of these things (especially mental health).
I mean, it is what it is. International Dog Day. International Donut Day. International Hamburger Day. International Mens Day. All of it feels more like ways to market & sell, more than it feels like it's coming out of a place of concern, appreciation, or awareness. Even worse when those days are hijacked by malicious groups who skew and contort their meaning to fit their narrative or movement (as Mens day is sure to be a victim of).
People share their social media post to get their positive feedback loops from like minded people, but regardless of the cause or purpose, it rarely goes beyond that. Sure, I'm cynical, I acknowledge and see that. I'm just burnt out on these holidays that are meaningless. Then again, I also strongly detest "celebrating" 9/11, memorial day, and veterans day. They're all days of remembrance that have been hijacked for consumer culture & lose their meaning (beyond social media posts).
I guess I just hate social media, as I'm thinking through this.
Era: Yes men have issues dealing with toxic masculinity, gender stereotypes, abusive households, and mental health and should seek help or treatment.
Also Era: How about you shut up, deal with your issues on your own, and stop murdering people. lol why is this even a day?
Also Era: How about you shut up, deal with your issues on your own, and stop murdering people. lol why is this even a day?
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My dude, there exists a Mental Health day for a reason. I don't understand why a specific day dedicated to Men's Mental Health exists. And more importantly, why a lot of the messaging for the day seems to be just stroking the egos of men. Like this:
Why are people acting like men don't already get this recognition? Like men silently toil away with no recognition? Like men have no say in society?
I'm not denying men face gender-specific issues related to toxic masculinity & traditional gender roles, but this whole day and its messaging feels incredibly disingenuous.
They don't even realize that Toxic Masculinity society wide causes these responses of "Why do men even need a day, there's a mental health day for a reason?"
It should be international toxic masculinity day. "international men's day" just sounds like some MRA bullshit
It serves to take value from the individual by highlighting the negatives of the demographic. Knowingly overshadowing an issue one man may have because another man has done something objectively wrong.
Like this, for example.
That's because masculinity in and of itself isn't toxic, yet hyper masculinity is. I guess it's a mouthful to say toxic hyper-masculinity so it's truncated, lol.
I don't know, I saw a post on Tumblr once that said kill all men, so I am going to pretend that is 100% representative of feminism
/s
Casually, it's also toilet day. I saw a friend of mine refer to it,on Instagram, and say something like: "oh, no wonder its the same day.. I dont see the difference between those two(men and toilets)"
She is a woman, obviously the friendship is completely over.
If I said something like that to women, I would probably even get reported and banned from IG.
Very sad to see this in 2018.
She is a woman, obviously the friendship is completely over.
If I said something like that to women, I would probably even get reported and banned from IG.
Very sad to see this in 2018.
Because all the issues covered here are also covered under the Mental Health umbrella.
Toxic masculinity is a by-product of a patriarchal society, or generally a society geared towards men. The main way to get rid of TM is by slowly pushing back on society's focus on men. But, people want to enjoy the benefits of such a society and get rid of its consequences. People want to enjoy their media with big-breasted women in skimpy outfits while decrying how society places an unfair burden on men. These men want society to take it easier on them while simultaneously defending institutions like media that reinforce a patriarchal society and make life harder for women.
I was and still am, astonished, by how difficult it is for men to discuss their own mental health between each other. Hardly feels like any change has been made at all in the 10 years or so since I first thought of that
How does mental health day help men that are 40% of spousal abuse victims?
Era: Yes men have issues dealing with toxic masculinity, gender stereotypes, abusive households, and mental health and should seek help or treatment.
Also Era: How about you shut up, deal with your issues on your own, and stop murdering people. lol why is this even a day?
Yeeeep.
It was a link to a video where Ellen celebrated International Men's Day by joking "wow, men sorely needed one!" and then putting pictures of hot dudes from other countries.
Cue folks crawling out of the woodwork intent on slamming her for disrespecting International Men's Day and saying "SOCIETY WOULD DESTROY ME IF I DID THE SAME FOR WOMEN'S DAY!! SEXISM GOES BOTH WAYS!!!!!!"
Exactly this! So many people think "Toxic masculinity" means "Men are shitty". But it really means that people impose a view of masculinity onto boys/men to act and behave a certain way, and to not do certain things.
To have a day where men feel comfortable talking about being assaulted, or talking about both physical and mental health issues. It would be a huge step forward in combating toxic masculinity... But both women and men jump on this day going "Fuck you guys, you don't need it. Every day is your day." But, Toxic Masculinity is a societal problem, and that's just reinforcing it.
Some honest to goodness misandry going on in here. Only serves to highlight why an International Men's Day is needed.
That's covered under National Domestic Violence month (October)
But what about prostate cancer? National Cancer Awareness Month. (October)
Homelessness? National Hunger & Homelessness Week. (November)
Suicide? Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. (September)
...We don't need a damn 'day' designated specially for us.
Every day of the year is international men's day. We'll be alright.
Every day of the year is international men's day. We'll be alright.
You are acting like it is reasonable to spread these awareness campaigns to other months while it is unreasonable to wanting a a day to consolidate issues affecting 1/2 of the Earth population. You know that prostate awareness would get drowned out on cancer awareness MONTH.
It's about awareness and you are complaining about ONE DAY. It's telling that people were not aware of the cancer rates, prostate especially, or spousal abuse numbers. Awareness doesn't spread well during those MONTHS because of toxic masculinity, which this day is at least trying to bring awareness too.
The only truly shitty post I noticed in this thread was this one
Which is a pretty rude and obnoxious thing to say, especially to the OP.
But then this one popped up and I felt better:
Era: Yes men have issues dealing with toxic masculinity, gender stereotypes, abusive households, and mental health and should seek help or treatment.
Also Era: How about you shut up, deal with your issues on your own, and stop murdering people. lol why is this even a day?
Where are you seeing that? I think everyone here recognizes real issues like men avoiding talking about health while calling each other pussies and trying to deal with it on their own. That's absolutely a problem that needs to be brought to light.
It's the stuff about "let's take a day to recognize and honor the sacrifices men make for society", accompanied by a stupid image of a man apparently doing everything while his family dicks around that's dumb.
How are posts like these acceptable?
"Everything is just fine, I speak for all men, especially those that are going through something and could use a boost or a helping hand in the form of a day where someone says it's OK to get help."
Part of the problem.
My issue has nothing to do with awareness. My issue has everything to do with the messaging of this day. The ads attached to the OP present this day as the one day of the year where MEN finally get the spotlight on these issues affecting them. Clearly, this isn't the case at all. If every topic that men feel is so urgent that they need this day is covered by other campaigns that span the entire year, what is the purpose of this day?
To me, this day was created to balance out International Women's Day and now serves as a day where men can come together and complain about how society oppresses them with zero self-awareness. Again, I'm not dismissing the importance of these causes, I'm dismissing the messaging as disingenuous.
Literally half of the posts in this thread are "Lol why is this even a day, every day is mens day."
I'm a guy whose comfortable in his own skin and his own masculinity. Its funny how easy it is to spot a guy who isn't. They try so hard to appear tough and hard. They try so hard to appear a certain way.
That picture was a very small representation of the pictures floating on Twitter to celebrate this day. I thought it was cute with the animals on it. I didn't like most of the other pictures floating around early this morning, since most were specifically specifically tied to masculinity or international men's day to images of men wearing suits, having ties, or mustaches. You are also assuming that they guy was working on his PC and not trying to play on the PC. Also assumptions that that was his wife and not his sister and her children staying with his family :P
So how about just ignoring the picture and not using it as a basis to shit on this day or the people that have to deal with mental illness, homelessness, and abuse that never get help?
I have a heart problem that doesn't allow me to lift heavy weights and yet since I'm young women and other men just assume I should be the one to pitch in and pick up something heavy when someone drops something or needs something moved. It's fucking terrible. If I say I can't, people don't believe me unless I get more detailed than I am comfortable to do so. It really sucks that people just assume all men are healthy and strong and have the societal role of picking up heavy shit. I stopped going to my jobs community service stuff because they would just assign me to heavy lifting and it would be awkward and embarrassing when I would have to decline in front of a bunch of women to lifting something.
So stop assuming men have to be the physically strong role at all times.
In fact, there is so much rhetoric that reinforces the idea that men have to be healthy that it makes it hard for us to want to go to the doctor or to seek help for our illnesses or weaknesses. If we appear weak, society implies we're less of a man, less useful. I try to fight back against this pressure in my own ways, but as someone with rare and complicated illnesses, it's hard for people to understand. My former best friend had fibromyalgia since he was a teenager, and despite how young and healthy he looked, it was hard to get people to understand his limitations. It's a terrible world for sick or disabled men. Not to say that it's not a challenging world for sick or disabled women, of course.
So stop assuming men have to be the physically strong role at all times.
In fact, there is so much rhetoric that reinforces the idea that men have to be healthy that it makes it hard for us to want to go to the doctor or to seek help for our illnesses or weaknesses. If we appear weak, society implies we're less of a man, less useful. I try to fight back against this pressure in my own ways, but as someone with rare and complicated illnesses, it's hard for people to understand. My former best friend had fibromyalgia since he was a teenager, and despite how young and healthy he looked, it was hard to get people to understand his limitations. It's a terrible world for sick or disabled men. Not to say that it's not a challenging world for sick or disabled women, of course.
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My only wish on International Men's Day is that more men's bathrooms have changing tables for babies. Current state is a fucking travesty.
It's one of those societal things that subtly reinforces the idea that men shouldn't be parents to their children, and then shifts that burden/pressure to women creating a less equal world. I will give extra business to the place that puts a changing table in the mens room or in a unisex/family bathroom.
It's one of those societal things that subtly reinforces the idea that men shouldn't be parents to their children, and then shifts that burden/pressure to women creating a less equal world. I will give extra business to the place that puts a changing table in the mens room or in a unisex/family bathroom.
Man, reading comprehension is incredibly difficult.
The day WAS created to balance it out. That part's fine. However, it HAS NOW BECOME this pseudo-MRA celebration where men want to discuss how society oppresses them.
This is Falconbox's OP
As good a time as ever to shine a little light on mental and physical health issues that men deal with, and finding positive role models in our lives.
Despite society becoming more progressive, it's still often hard as men to come forward about depression, anxiety, stress, etc, which in turn just exacerbates the issues. Same goes for any physical problems. Speaking as someone who is right at the border of being a Gen-Xer and a Millennial, raised by baby boomers, my peers and I were largely taught that men need to "tough it out" and that anything less was seen as a weakness.
This applied when attempting to speak to parents, other men, and even women. Being labeled a "pussy" was all too easy. Not sure how this pertains to Generation Z'ers though, and if it's gotten any easier for them growing up mainly in the 2000s.
As someone who suffers from depression, which really comes in waves in between periods of relative normalcy, it's tough to explain to friends because they say they never see it. But again, that's me trying to "tough it out" by putting extra pressure on myself to not show that side of myself to them, because I don't want to burden others with my problems.
Feel free to share your own experiences.
What are you talking about?
Are you talking about ads served by google adsense or something?
Toxic masculinity's peer pressure presence is awful. Too many people succumb its poison one way or another.
We need all the awareness we can get, because it affects societies all over the world at every level.
We need all the awareness we can get, because it affects societies all over the world at every level.
This is a really shitty take considering the context and the content of the OP.
Just curious.
But would some who are offended by this be less so if this was renamed International Men's Health Day?
But would some who are offended by this be less so if this was renamed International Men's Health Day?