Have you ever had to protect someone from yourself?

I have had some rocky relationships and I've always come out as an asshole in the end. I'm blunt, sometimes rude and very judgemental.

I'm trying to tell this woman I've been talking to that I'm probably going to hurt her feelings if we keep things going.

I'm used to relationships that keep me on edge, ones where who I'm with isn't afraid to call me an asshole or a piece of shit or flat out weird, or even slap me, but this woman, despite me being the way I am, she says that she can be who she truly is with me and that she's happy to have me in her life.

I tell her about my fucked up upbringing and how my dad abused me and she doesn't want to walk away. I told her I don't deserve her in my life. I told her to walk away, block me everything.

I've told her that I want her out of my life because of this, and that, some days, I don't even want to see or talk to her.

I feel like I'm just a red flag. I don't want to hurt her feelings any more than they've already have been.

dietpepsi said:

Just say 'I cant be with you, sorry' and then stop communicating with her. It sounds like you actually arent interested in continuing with her anyway. Stop engaging. That is what will change her behaviour.

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That's what I've been trying to tell her, but I guess I'm going to have to stop myself. My problem is that I can't pull myself away sometimes.

Midramble said:

Sounds like you dont have a lot of self worth. Do you want to change?

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I don't know what I have. I try to change, but I get dragged back into the same things. One day I'm different, the next day I'm back to the old me.

Glasgow Mega-Snake said:

Please don't put pressure on her to end the relationship. If you feel like you can't continue dating her, it's on you to break up. Otherwise you're just stringing her along, while you blame her for putting up with your behaviour. That's not cool.

It does sound like you need to work on some issues, the way you talk about yourself doesn't sound healthy. It's good that you're aware of your faults, a lot of people aren't, but this fatalistic attitude doesn't help anyone.

She seems to care about you. Instead of trying to convince her to walk away, why don't you talk with her about ways to change your behaviour? Or have you thought about talking to a therapist, or a close friend?

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RolandOfGilead said:

Yeah this is on you. Tell her it's over and cut all communication it's really not that hard.

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Daria said:

My suggestion: call a therapist.

It seems that there are some more personal issues inside that you're not dealing with and it has nothing to do with your current or past relationships. we all make mistakes and trying to say "i'm always an asshole" is making this about you and not the people you're hurting. take some time off from saying; figure yourself out and discover what you, your body, and your mind need. moderation is key. you've been indulging in relationships that do not work out in the hopes of something changing. nothing will change until you do OP

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You all are right. She doesn't deserve any of this from me. Shes been through enough as it is.

I went to see her last night and we walked and talked about it all.

She doesn't want to let me go because she hasn't felt the way she does about me with anyone else and that I would really hurt her if I did decide to call it quits and drop her.

I elaborated on my childhood to her, my upbringing, my dad, etc, and she finally told me about how her parents divorced and it made me grow an affinity towards her.

I told her that I'm just afraid of getting my feelings hurt because I've never met anyone that actually cares as much about me as she does, and she usually has nothing but great things to think about me.. I just couldn't believe it.