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It isn't though. I can see why it's off-putting for some people, but men get on women waaay more about weight then women do on height. It's not even a contest.
It's not quite the same, because of how people often perceive the weight question. It's often seen as a sensitive subject, it relates to their self-esteem.
In reality, the height question is arguably more offensive, because it's not something you can change. It's not something that might have stemmed from a lifestyle choice or anything like that. It's simply your genes. So to be dismissed because you're genetically inadequate relative to their standards (which admittedly is sometimes the same with weight) is pretty iffy.
Both questions should be okay really. Why waste either persons time. If it's a big deal for either party then it's just easier if they know.
With that said, I'd never ask a women her weight, or her height. It's usually well represented in her photos. If it isn't, then her photos were likely disingenuous, in which case I'm not interested anymore simply because she lied.
In reality, the height question is arguably more offensive, because it's not something you can change. It's not something that might have stemmed from a lifestyle choice or anything like that. It's simply your genes. So to be dismissed because you're genetically inadequate relative to their standards (which admittedly is sometimes the same with weight) is pretty iffy.
Both questions should be okay really. Why waste either persons time. If it's a big deal for either party then it's just easier if they know.
With that said, I'd never ask a women her weight, or her height. It's usually well represented in her photos. If it isn't, then her photos were likely disingenuous, in which case I'm not interested anymore simply because she lied.
Blocked, deleted, unmatched no doubt, bonus points for calling him an asshole.
Correct, bullet dodged, first it will be height then it will be something else in a fruitless search for perfection and then complaining they can't find anyone.
While height is less changeable weight has been a constant standard by which we judge people in many more facets of life. While being tall and skinny are both qualities society tells us we should strive for, you are judged far more harshly for failing to meet the weight standards than you are the height standard, especially for women. So while you could argue the height comment is more offensive, you wouldnt get very far.
I don't really agree with this. I think it's perfectly fine to have an aesthetic type in mind when dating, and it makes sense to look for people that fit that.
In either case, it's unlikely you'd ever know if it was your height that turned them off. Even the girls who have asked my height, have only asked 'out of curiosity', and when I've asked 'Why, does it matter?' they've said it doesn't. In reality, when I've pried later, they explained that it did actually matter, and they'd be very unlikely to date anyone shorter than them. Obviously, they've only been honest about that because at that stage, it doesn't matter, I'm taller than they are.
In most cases, a girl won't even by that open. She'll just ghost you or tell you that she didn't really feel a connection, etc. In general, a girl doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she isn't going to tell you that something you can't change is why she isn't interested in you romantically.
Yikes what had that guy so angry at Chrono for? Seemed like he had a chip on his shoulder. Bitter about not finding the ultra rare "gamer girl"?
Had a date with the girl I met through a friend and had 3 dates with today. Hadn't seen her since we hooked up 2 weeks ago because she cancelled on me twice so I figured it was over. She hit me up earlier this week though to go out and we had a really great date; had brunch, baked cookies together and then fooled around a bit before she had to go to work. I really enjoyed it. I guess I shouldn't write her off just yet.
Had a date with the girl I met through a friend and had 3 dates with today. Hadn't seen her since we hooked up 2 weeks ago because she cancelled on me twice so I figured it was over. She hit me up earlier this week though to go out and we had a really great date; had brunch, baked cookies together and then fooled around a bit before she had to go to work. I really enjoyed it. I guess I shouldn't write her off just yet.
Ok so here's the deal. I met this girl in class awhile back and we've been texting off and on. I asked her on a lunch date (in hindsight probably a dumb idea) to test the waters. We had a good lunch I made her laugh a bit and we talked a long time however at one point during the conversation it started to veer a bit friend zoney because she briefly mentioned some issues she had with a dude awhile back and wanted to talk about school stuff. When lunch was over we walked for a bit conversing and then kind of hugged and went our separate ways. I waited a day and then sent a text just letting her know I had a good time and hopefully we can meet up again. She just replied back thanking me and said yea def but I kinda get the vibe that she thinks I just want to hang out with her.
Is there any way to salvage this or should I just move on? I do really like this girl so any helpful advice would be appreciated homies :)
Also, in hindsight I realize my fuck up is probably not just directly asking her for a dinner date which would have probably made my intentions more clear.
Ask her out on a date.
Be prepared to get rejected.
If that occurs, accept it graciously, move on, and don't make it weird.
If you want to be her friend, be her friend. If you want to date her, don't lie to her about being (only) her friend.
Actually that doesn't seem that bad to me. There's nothing wrong with a lunch date though yeah that probably wasn't seen as a date date to her. Just ask her out on a more clear date this time and escalate, by which I mean kiss her by the end.
If I suspect a girl is taller than me I tell her my height before scheduling anything (I'm 5'5"). If she's taller she usually cancels, better than wasting my time/money
How do you suspect someone's height??? Why dont you just list your height on whatever profile you're using?
Its pretty easy to tell from photos, especially group pics. If I listed my height on my profile my matches would be substantially lower
Hello, everyone. Have seen some posts on an earlier page discussing what one who is looking to get back into the dating scene should do if they suffer from depression. Many said to wait till the symptoms have gone done or the depression isn't quite so bad. Well, for me, my mental illness (bipolar disorder) has made it so I've had up and down emotions for my full adult life now. It's so bad that I'm unable to work. How can I see a light at the end of the tunnel for me if I'm STILL not ready to date yet? That's on top of being too ill to work and having no income for dates. I'm jealous of all of you going from relationship to relationship. There are other issues with me as well, but I don't want to get too personal publicly. Thanks for reading!
I don't list my height. I've rocked up to a few dates with girls slightly taller than me if they're in heels, they don't seem to mind too much after a little while, but I don't usually ask so idk. I feel like it's one of those things that gets discounted easily when you're basically shopping for your ideal partner online, but isn't enforced as strongly IRL.
No worries man, it's one of my faves.
No worries man, it's one of my faves.
Never been worried about height but I'm 6ft. Though you do notice it alot on female Tinder profiles e.g. height requirements.
It sucks because as others have mentioned you can't really change it. Weight you can, but it such an iffy topic in dating / attraction.
It sucks because as others have mentioned you can't really change it. Weight you can, but it such an iffy topic in dating / attraction.
That's pretty much how it is, a whishlist of features people are loooking for. Kind of like job specs where they list so many requirements that only a limited few applicants will fit so they'll employ someone that's close enough. Not listing height at all is a good way to avoid being judged by height and if she asks about height before even meeting up, just move on.
In my scenario the interaction was meant to be face to face.
Thing is, we have no idea what kinds of things are or aren't deal-breakers. I have a friend, super active guy, surfs, travels a ton, etc. Found the girl of his dreams. Now if you would've told him before he met her that the girl of his dreams is a wheelchair-bound paraplegic, he would've told you you're crazy and that it would've been a deal breaker. But now these two are engaged to be married soon. (obviously, they did not meet online)
I'm willing to bet few to none here would consider dating someone who's paraplegic. And making that a deal-breaker isn't nearly as "picky" as nit-picking someone's height. But here we are; an active guy, in an amazing relationship with a girl who can't walk, which would've been unknown to him were he checking off boxes on a list of arbitrary requirements people have no control over. And yet many people do just that, oblivious to what they may be missing out on.
I completely forgot about photos. I thought you were sussing out their height just by talking.
And I guess so, but I mean that saves you time as well in the end right?
Wait, what? Where are you meeting potential dates without seeing them in person or a photo to get an idea of weight / height? If you can't see a photo get onto one of the multi mediums that let you get past that first barrier...
Im just going to put that I'm 6'7 in my profile and then when they meet me and are disappointed that I lied, Ill flip it on them and accuse them of heightism and make a scene.
I dont online date. Like i said when I replied to him initially I forgot that pictures were a thing lol just a lapse in judgement is all
Yeah, that was my height a couple of months ago, I've just lost a little height since than. I am trying to gain height tho.
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I dated a hot blonde with a small cute butt and natural double D's who likes hiking a couple summers ago. Yeah, that didn't work out after 4 months. Your friend, as you say, is a fucking idiot.
Complimenting personalities and attitudes is very important. Everything just goes smoothly with the other person.
Why oh why is he hanging out with the ex and the new guy? Stop that nonsense
I do well on Tinder/Bumble
You have to be strong minded and cannot take it too seriously until you meet. And even then you have to be level headed and as it's one date at time.
Not everyone on dating apps is looking for a relationship. It could be a one night stand, a short-term fling, etc
Recognize all this on the date. Listen and pay attention. Some women just want a fun night that ends with sex, some are looking for someone special. Roll with it
I've been on A LOT of dates over the past 3 years and I can't think of any that was into video games. Board games, card games, a game or two on their phone? Sure. Straight up Xbox or PC gaming as one of their hobbies? None
YMMV
was this online? She doesn't want to show up to the date and be taller than the guy.
I have a friend who is around 5'10 and its a worry of hers when using tinder
Man, some people have a real hard-on against Chrono. You keep doing you, Chronospherics my fellow psych bro!
She's already very short, the chances of her finding a smaller guy are very slim. Seems like a thing she does not need to worry about.
Ok but just because you haven't dated any doesn't mean they don't exist. There are even some in this thread! I spend way more time playing video games than my bf does.
That went decently, watched a movie and made out until she had to go. Only problem is she's a terrible kisser lol. Never had this problem before, how do you resolve it without being awkward? I tried to lead her but it wasn't working. I'm not looking for anything long-term with her so it's not like I'll have lots of time to work it out.
I'm like 5'9 I think? :'( lol
I guess most guys do have an affinity for short girls, or atleast girls shorter than them. Some are into tall girls though, it's just a bit less common.
Jokab practice ;)
Now that the two trolls are gone, it's looking better than it has, to be fair. Also looks better if you set users you dislike to "ignore" :p
Thanks for reminding me that I'm shorter than very short with me barely scratching 5'8...
Tbh, I don't think 5'10 is very short for women. More around average, I'd say.
Your one Era member below that height, I quantified my post don't take it personally.
Of course they exist
But, from experience dating extensively the past 3 years, women were not into video games as a hobby
I've never met any woman that identifies as a gamer, but I've met many women that play games. I think any single guy that puts "gamer girl" near the top of his partner wishlist is barking up the wrong tree.
Here's the very first conversation I had with the girl I'm currently dating.
No offense taken :)
I'm not sure if I should start a fight over this, but 5'10 actually seems to be a LOT above average according to e.g. Wikipedia or this website: https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/average-height-for-women
I'm actually surprised it's that low, doesn't quite match with my subjective observation... I thought average would be around my height.
Sounds about right tbh, as I said I'm 5'9 and the majority of women I meet are shorter than me or about the same height. The ones who are taller aren't usually taller than like 6 foot. High heels skew the perception so much lol.
She likes Fallout 1 and 2 over Fallout 3 and 4? Superior taste!Here's the very first conversation I had with the girl I'm currently dating.
She might be talking about Fallout 3. In which case, ew, get out while you can.
She likes 1, 2 and 3. :P
The reason she doesn't like 4 isn't the dialogue or watered down RPG systems though, it's because there aren't enough cool towns to explore and people to speak to, she says.
Fallout 4 is the worst tho. At least Fallout 3 is memorable.
Finally got on a date with this girl after a week and a half of matching on tinder(she had finals)
Went great played bowling on xmas
Started making out
Then we ended in the backseat of my car behind a church for some hot steamy intercourse
Went to NY two days later, and she unmatched me off tinder or deleted her account. Kinda weird cuz I just changed my description to mention that I wasn't from the US. Maybe she saw that?
Ignoring my texts or snapchats(even though im still friends with her on Snapchat)
I kinda liked her but was still conflicted about getting in a new relationship after my ex dumped me like 3 weeks and a half before so.
Guess she made the choice for me
Champa is embracing his inner fuck boy
Have this crazy University event happening in January for a week long that was going to have lots of partying and more chance for me to engage in more intercourse, and I guess she not answering back to me makes it easier for me to let it go and just go on an intercourse streak.
I also am thinking about getting a vasectomy since my ex was the only person I wanted kids with and as of now I'd rather just get more intercourse with various women and avoid getting a kid cuz now I don't want them(dont worry I'll still use rubbers ). At this point the notion about finding the one is bullshit since I thought my ex was the one and it didn't work out after a year and ten months. Especially when I needed her the most with my pops dying this late August
Something died within me.
I'm never going to let myself love again I'm afraid.
I just want to have intercourses and go on to the next girl until that void she made by leaving is filled, and at this point I might just be a heartless person.
Is my reasoning ok? What should I do?
Sorry I rambled long enough
Went great played bowling on xmas
Started making out
Then we ended in the backseat of my car behind a church for some hot steamy intercourse
Went to NY two days later, and she unmatched me off tinder or deleted her account. Kinda weird cuz I just changed my description to mention that I wasn't from the US. Maybe she saw that?
Ignoring my texts or snapchats(even though im still friends with her on Snapchat)
I kinda liked her but was still conflicted about getting in a new relationship after my ex dumped me like 3 weeks and a half before so.
Guess she made the choice for me
Champa is embracing his inner fuck boy
Have this crazy University event happening in January for a week long that was going to have lots of partying and more chance for me to engage in more intercourse, and I guess she not answering back to me makes it easier for me to let it go and just go on an intercourse streak.
I also am thinking about getting a vasectomy since my ex was the only person I wanted kids with and as of now I'd rather just get more intercourse with various women and avoid getting a kid cuz now I don't want them(dont worry I'll still use rubbers ). At this point the notion about finding the one is bullshit since I thought my ex was the one and it didn't work out after a year and ten months. Especially when I needed her the most with my pops dying this late August
Something died within me.
I'm never going to let myself love again I'm afraid.
I just want to have intercourses and go on to the next girl until that void she made by leaving is filled, and at this point I might just be a heartless person.
Is my reasoning ok? What should I do?
Sorry I rambled long enough
1) Can you just call it sex?
2) There isn't anything wrong with having a lot of sex after a breakup. Different people cope differently
3) Don't get a God damn vasetomy because you only envisioned having kids with one girl. That is both creepy and excessive
4) It's natural that 3 weeks after a relationship last just under 2 years you'll feel pretty hurt but the whole "I'll never love again" bit, like it's overly dramatic. And further more it's only going to hurt yourself and fuck up opportunities at real happiness with other women.
Just like, go party, have some fun, get laid and ditch some of the dramatization. I understand it hurts but your reaction to things is rather 0 to 100 here. How old are you?
Will all the meaningless sex be worth it in the end or is this just an unhealthy coping mechanism because you're not ready to take things seriously?
If you never want to ever have kids, I guess a vasectomy makes sense but seems a bit extreme where you're punishing yourself for why it didn't work out with your ex.