Just ranting about myself a bit before I go to sleep in a sobering stupor. Aka talking into the void.
Fuck almighty I'm a goddamn slowpoke. This happens all the time you'd think I'd realize I just need to make a move. Just saw Black Panther with a group of friends and I was hanging out with the most promiscuous of my female friends the entire day. A movie, bottle of wine, and flirting later, I don't close the deal. Don't even go for a kiss. Despite so many go ahead signs. I honestly just wanted to hang out and cuddle more but I just go for it in the most passive of ways and the opportunity for anything slips through the cracks. Similar situations with the same person has happened at least twice. So maybe one day I'll learn and remember how this feels and not make the same mistake.
Honestly I just want to cuddle and watch stuff with someome I have some kind of comfort level and emotional connection with. Which I guess I get on a weekly basis when I watch OWL games with my ex. Except this week is the break between Stage 1 and 2 and some part of me really really really doesn't want to ask to do something non-OWL related just to get cuddles and attention. I need the physical attention more than she does so I guess I wanted to put myself in this situation to enforce my own arbitrary boundaries.
Thanks for entertaining me.
Goddamn I'm slow.
Fuck almighty I'm a goddamn slowpoke. This happens all the time you'd think I'd realize I just need to make a move. Just saw Black Panther with a group of friends and I was hanging out with the most promiscuous of my female friends the entire day. A movie, bottle of wine, and flirting later, I don't close the deal. Don't even go for a kiss. Despite so many go ahead signs. I honestly just wanted to hang out and cuddle more but I just go for it in the most passive of ways and the opportunity for anything slips through the cracks. Similar situations with the same person has happened at least twice. So maybe one day I'll learn and remember how this feels and not make the same mistake.
Honestly I just want to cuddle and watch stuff with someome I have some kind of comfort level and emotional connection with. Which I guess I get on a weekly basis when I watch OWL games with my ex. Except this week is the break between Stage 1 and 2 and some part of me really really really doesn't want to ask to do something non-OWL related just to get cuddles and attention. I need the physical attention more than she does so I guess I wanted to put myself in this situation to enforce my own arbitrary boundaries.
Thanks for entertaining me.
Goddamn I'm slow.