Are you a regret?
- Thread starter Gloomy
- Start date
My parents had my brother, and then they decided to have another kid because my mom wanted a girl, but I was born, so they tried again and had my sister. I always felt they treated me more like a family pet than a person.
Unplanned, but i think it was cool. My father regretted the marriage tho.
Also wtf at people being a regret because their parents would rather have done things differently, what my parents would rather do isn't what i am.
Also wtf at people being a regret because their parents would rather have done things differently, what my parents would rather do isn't what i am.
Judging by the threads they've made here and at the old place, I wouldn't be so sure.
Not really, from what i remember he usually posts threads like this
OP i dont know if you think you are a regret but i wish you the best.
I'm sure deep inside my father loves me. He just only expressed it through physical and emotional violence.
My father decided when I was around 8 months old that he wasn't ready for a child. I havn't seen of heard from him since nor have I felt inclined to contact him. I respect that he could be honest and I don't see how my life is any worse off. I have no hard feelings against him either.
My father frequently told me I was a horrible mistake that poisoned our family and ruined his life so yeah. Pretty sure. Good thing catholics don't believe in abortions.
I don't think I understand what you're getting at here. Are you saying that you would have rather been aborted?
And I'm sorry your dad said those things about you. :(
No I'm saying if catholics believed in abortions (or my parents rather in 1992) I wouldn't be here.
i was planned, but probably wouldn't have existed had my mother not had a miscarriage a few months before i was conceived
Oh ok now I understand. I dunno if you caught my edit, but just said I'm sorry you're dad said those things about you.
I don't think so? But I've never specifically asked and I have never specifically been told I was an accident, so it's possible. I was conceived a year into my parents marriage and they are Catholic, so I've always assumed I was probably planned. The only reason for pause is my mother and father were 20 and 23 respectively at the time, but then again, it was a different era in the early 90s. I just can't imagine having a kid right now and I'm almost 27.
edit: I kind of misread the intention of this thread after reading some other posts, whoopsies...
edit: I kind of misread the intention of this thread after reading some other posts, whoopsies...
Definitely. My dad made it pretty obvious fatherhood wasn't his thing. He didn't say it, but he avoided spending time with the family in favor of doing stuff he enjoyed. I'm sure he still loved us, but he was a bad father who didn't care until he had to which annoyed him. He's dead now so I can't really get anymore clarification. My mom? I'd say the same. All my siblings and I have a contentious and strained relationship with her. Both of them had misguided expectations about parenthood, if not life in general, and that created an unstable environment for me growing up.
It doesn't really bother me, to be honest. My worth isn't tied to anything but what I determine. I enjoy my life, I've worked hard to achieve where I am now, I have goals and aspirations, and people who genuinely love and care about me.
It doesn't really bother me, to be honest. My worth isn't tied to anything but what I determine. I enjoy my life, I've worked hard to achieve where I am now, I have goals and aspirations, and people who genuinely love and care about me.
I was planned. I am also a regret. I'm completely estranged from my parents because one of them blames me for ruining their life and from the other one because I have vivid memories of the physical abuse they dished out to me for ~16 years. My attempts to reconcile with them as adults ended with the first yelling into my then 4 kid's face that they wish they had killed me when I was 4, and the latter has first has no regrets about the way they treated me, and while I was trying to rebuild our relationship developed brain damage from a prescription drug combined with what's probably an early onset of dementia and voted for Trump (I'm in an interracial marriage with a naturalized citizen aka immigrant so this and everything it stands for doesn't fly with me).
Sometimes "because they're your parents" isn't a good enough reason to keep people in your life.
Sometimes "because they're your parents" isn't a good enough reason to keep people in your life.
I probably was for a while. My parents' wedding date was seven months before my birthday and I wasn't born early. They struggled for a lot of years and eventually divorced.
I'm an accident and I have lots of medical issues and mental problems and I'm a huge strain on my family yay
My parents tried for a year to get pregnant with me, so I don't think I am. They aren't perfect and ended up getting divorced when I was 7, but overall I had a good childhood.
Ironically, I do regret the conception of both of my children. Somehow, even after my mother barely managed to have my brother and I, my wife and I were able to get pregnant both times the first week we started to try. I really, really wanted to have to work a bit more to make it happen. And yes for completely selfish reasons.
That said the above story makes me thankful for modern birth control. If it didn't exist my wife and I would likely be one of those families back in the day with 15 children. To say there would be some regrets involved there would be an understatement.
Ironically, I do regret the conception of both of my children. Somehow, even after my mother barely managed to have my brother and I, my wife and I were able to get pregnant both times the first week we started to try. I really, really wanted to have to work a bit more to make it happen. And yes for completely selfish reasons.
That said the above story makes me thankful for modern birth control. If it didn't exist my wife and I would likely be one of those families back in the day with 15 children. To say there would be some regrets involved there would be an understatement.
Last edited:
Nope, parents love the fuck out of all of us. Hell, my Mom probably loves me more than my other siblings because of the fact I let her decorate my home and got alittle garden out front. She even has a sewing nook at my house since she seem to run out of room at their home. ( I'm actually still wondering how this even happened. )
Absolutely. There is a 13 year age gap between my older siblings and myself, and my mother was told she could not have any more children, obviously that turned out to be wrong. As a result my parents spent far longer raising children than they'd have liked to and it limited their lives, and I'm sure if they could go back and make the choice they wouldn't have me.
That being said they have never expressed resentment or even mentioned this fact to me growing up, it was only after I became an adult that we were able to have conversations about it. It is what it is and I'd probably feel the same way in their situation
That being said they have never expressed resentment or even mentioned this fact to me growing up, it was only after I became an adult that we were able to have conversations about it. It is what it is and I'd probably feel the same way in their situation
I was born 8 years after my closest-in-age sibling and in the last few years of my parents 20+ year marriage. I don't know if I was an attempt to save their marriage or just an accident, but I always felt like an unwanted burden to everyone. My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I started first grade, and she tried her best to not interact with me, even though it was just the two of us most the time.
Last edited:
Kind of. Pretty sure I was planned, but there's no time limit on buyer's remorse. My parents lost a child to a premature birth when I was 11 that was very hard on everyone. My mom pretty went into a state of depression for the better part of 7 years after that. Shortly after at the beginning of the school year I slept in as usual and wasn't listening to my mom to get ready and so we were all running late. I overheard them arguing in their room about it and my dad lashed out saying how was my mom going to take care of 3 kids when she couldn't even manage 2 and my mom responded with basically "you know we waited so long to have another child because of him."
So that was fun to hear at 11 years old, that your parents waited to have another kid cause they were afraid they would turn out like you and then that child died as a result because your mother was older and at higher risk of complications.
By all accounts they were/are good parents better than most. Always there for us, sacrificed a lot to make sure we had everything and better opportunities, but yeah my overhearing that one moment in time forever destroyed any relationship I could ever have with them and had drastic effects on my personal development.
So that was fun to hear at 11 years old, that your parents waited to have another kid cause they were afraid they would turn out like you and then that child died as a result because your mother was older and at higher risk of complications.
By all accounts they were/are good parents better than most. Always there for us, sacrificed a lot to make sure we had everything and better opportunities, but yeah my overhearing that one moment in time forever destroyed any relationship I could ever have with them and had drastic effects on my personal development.
I feel like I probably am... at least for my mom. I am the 2nd of two sisters, and seeing how much my mom struggles and always has... I wouldn't be surprised at all if she secretly wishes she never had us. And that's fine.
Ugh. Don't bring this here.
Ugh. Don't bring this here.
*teleports directly where you're standing assploding you from the inside*
My birth parents didn't want me..........actually, it was my birth father who wanted me. My birth Mum didn't and she didn't want him having me either, so i was fostered and adopted.