Wow, February was such a rollercoaster ride! Can't wait for the ROTJ finale! Also, congrats on getting tons of likes and views on your facebook post, it always feel great when that happens!
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OP
OP
It's less like an anime, more like How I Met Your Mother. Takes too long to get to the damn point of the show, all to end with a protagonist trying to get with a girl with all signs pointing to it not working.
March
So what should I do about Poppi? As I said, we had only seen each other in person at school and rarely talked in person, she also had shared a screenshot that ultimately ended all illusion I had of going back with my ex. She is an artist and had done a commissioned design for my store (Design that later on Joana used for a hand drawn poster). She had talent and she wanted to join my store to sell her art. I think its a great chance to learn more about the whole situation with the other guy, the one dating my ex.
The idea didn't bothered me, we agreed to meet and talk about it. The topic of my ex or the guy he had a crush on didn't came up, and I felt comfortable around her. She was joining my store. I told her about my date with Joana and she agreed that I should probably end that before Joana developed feelings for real. I realized that the friendship I had with Joana was not going to last if I kept leading her in like that.
The date came up and we watched Shape of Water. She wouldn't stop hugging me and getting handsy with me. It was tempting. Reaaaally tempting, But she had two kids, still lived with her ex and there have been all kinds of problems in there. Cold heads prevailed and I stopped all advances. We got to a quiet place and, when she made a move on me, I stopped her. We are just friends, I said, sorry for letting you on like that, I was just really liked the attention, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. She understood. We talked for a few hours and we remained good friends. And then she said something very interesting. "The new girl that is working with you. You like her, don't you?"
Until that moment I hadn't considered that possibility. She kept talking. She knew all about our story. She pointed out I kept defending Poppi, I kept justifying her actions and that I never lost faith in her intentions. And that now I was going to see her everyday. And that she was really similar to my ex.
Oh god, she was right. I did. I had started to feel something for Poppi. Joana and I parted ways and I had time to reflect. Yeah, that was not healthy. I would just keep this on the backburner for a while until I sort it out.
An old employee of mine started coming to the store, more often. Let's call him Ricky. Ricky was actually the ex-boyfriend of the best friend (Sammy) of my ex. They broke up, badly. Ricky now had a new girlfriend and they seemed to go along great. Ricky and Poppi start talking.
Everything seems fine. There is a big event for my business coming up and Poppi is ready for it. We have a great day. Then, the new guy, the one that was now dating my ex and who used to be Poppi's crush, appears. She looks at us, having fun together, and then avoids us altogether. Poppi cares, deeply, and starts mentioning all the horrible things he has done to other girls and exes. As she is talking, I realized something. I don't really care. It doesn't bother me anymore. Usually, I would have jump at the new info and use it to try to win my ex back. But now? Now it was my ex's problem, not mine. It was liberating. I didn't have to be her Superman anymore. She didn't even need me to be Superman, it was a stupid work I had given myself.
Poppi was reminiscing about her own problem, a guy she still liked that we will call Steve. While Steve and her dated and shared moments, he was coming out of a long relationship and made the mistake of mentioning he was still thinking about his ex. Poppi and Steve stopped talking, but Poppi still longed for him, expecting him to contact her back.
And as the day passed, I realized something else. I did like Poppi. But as herself. She was her and I liked that. I debated all day what to do. My trip was coming up in April, and I had finally decided I was going to see my ex. To let her know I had moved on. And to keep my promise to see her, since she didn't kept hers.
The day ended and, luck turns out, Poppi wants me to take her home since its late. In the spur of the moment, while sitting on the sidewalk, I confess.
I like you, I said. At first maybe I was trying to get info from you, but honest to god I enjoy our time together. But I'm not going to do anything about it now. I still have my trip to take care of, and you, yourself, have Steve to think about and solve. And I'm sure she had her own feelings to think about. She was shocked, never saw it coming. I didn't asked for an answer, just wanted to let her know. We where working together too, so let's not complicate things more.
But I did say "How complicated do you want this to be?"
Turns out, extremely. Hugo, the guy that cheated on her girlfriend, was now also interested in Poppi. And then, Ricky asked her out for the weekend.
And me? Well, she doesn't believe I actually like her. It never occurred to her, and I am extremely casual about the whole thing. I also had made an effort to separate work from the relationship. She agreed to go with me on a date later on, too.
And, more importantly, she is interested in me for real, all problems withstanding.
But for now, its all on hold. Steve has finally seem to make moves to get on contact with her, Hugo was just made aware than Lisa is into me, Lisa keeps looking for me and I keep her away, Joana is still around, Martha is laughing her ass off and I... I have my trip still coming up. And I feel confident I don't want my ex back, that I want to get that behind me. That I need to tell her in person. But she is also now asking about me.
March hasn't ended yet, and April rapidly approaches. I don't want to start anything with Poppi yet, but cute things keep happening. Steve and my ex are back in the picture, I'm doing my best to pretend I don't know, and Poppi is worried about how she feels about, well, everyone. Myself, I think I know. I am a really honest and open person and I enjoy drama, but I do keep others feelings in consideration. But the closer I get to my trip, the more scared I get that I might fuck it all up, with, again, everyone.
Your opinion matters.
So far nothing has happened, with none of the girls, I have made sure of that. Close calls a few times, alone moments, but I have remained objective. I don't want to hurt any of their feelings, and of course I don't want to end up hurt either. I called in an "anime" mostly to make fun of the title, but there have been a few situations straight from dumb series. Tripped into boobs, walking into restrooms, finding each other against all odds, all of them connected somehow by an intrinsic line of faith. Too many coincidences to count. Fun has been had and this is just a very brief resume, believe me.
I do have an idea of what to do, but I wanted to write this down to sort out my real feelings. Before writing this I was actually thinking a lot about my ex, but the more I write the more I like the idea of starting something with Poppi. Of course, I can't do it now until I get back from the trip, since I am going to be literally away. She also has her own stuff to deal with, and we don't even know if she is actually into me, since she still has Steve to think about.
I am honestly really enjoying myself right now, there is about another 5 people that are relevant to this story in minor ways but that would make the story too complicated, so I pretty much closed it up in me and Poppi. I was feeling trapped and bored when I was with my ex, even if I did loved her and was sure I was going to marry her. When she left the plan was for just a year or so and then live together, then she extended her stay without consulting me and from there things deteriorated. Now I realize all the fun stuff I missed like focusing on myself, making friends, going out and just enjoying my hobbies. And now that Poppi is in the picture, I feel like I can truly be myself with her. Even if we don't end up dating or anything I'm just happy to have her around. I'm in no hurry to start something now.
What worries me is if I'm maybe been too casual about this or if I have been trampling all over peoples feelings. I try to be as clear as possible but I have been told that it comes off as cold and assholish. I told Poppi I liked her and, for someone who doesn't like conflict, I have made her part of a huge mess of romantic interests. Maybe I was too hasty and should have told her after I came back.
TL:DR
-Girlfriend breaks up with me, she is dating new guy.
-I tell a friend of mine, without me knowing they had a connection. She had a crush on the guy and told him to try and break them up.
-Friend of mine and I start working together and I develop feelings for friend. Meanwhile friend got out of another relationship herself but is starting to answer me back.
-We both have also a few people after us and trying to date us, while we are both trying to sort out our real feelings.
-Both exes are getting back in the picture, I'm meeting mine in April and friend has his guy getting in touch with people around her.
So what should I do about Poppi? As I said, we had only seen each other in person at school and rarely talked in person, she also had shared a screenshot that ultimately ended all illusion I had of going back with my ex. She is an artist and had done a commissioned design for my store (Design that later on Joana used for a hand drawn poster). She had talent and she wanted to join my store to sell her art. I think its a great chance to learn more about the whole situation with the other guy, the one dating my ex.
The idea didn't bothered me, we agreed to meet and talk about it. The topic of my ex or the guy he had a crush on didn't came up, and I felt comfortable around her. She was joining my store. I told her about my date with Joana and she agreed that I should probably end that before Joana developed feelings for real. I realized that the friendship I had with Joana was not going to last if I kept leading her in like that.
The date came up and we watched Shape of Water. She wouldn't stop hugging me and getting handsy with me. It was tempting. Reaaaally tempting, But she had two kids, still lived with her ex and there have been all kinds of problems in there. Cold heads prevailed and I stopped all advances. We got to a quiet place and, when she made a move on me, I stopped her. We are just friends, I said, sorry for letting you on like that, I was just really liked the attention, but I don't want to hurt your feelings. She understood. We talked for a few hours and we remained good friends. And then she said something very interesting. "The new girl that is working with you. You like her, don't you?"
Until that moment I hadn't considered that possibility. She kept talking. She knew all about our story. She pointed out I kept defending Poppi, I kept justifying her actions and that I never lost faith in her intentions. And that now I was going to see her everyday. And that she was really similar to my ex.
Oh god, she was right. I did. I had started to feel something for Poppi. Joana and I parted ways and I had time to reflect. Yeah, that was not healthy. I would just keep this on the backburner for a while until I sort it out.
An old employee of mine started coming to the store, more often. Let's call him Ricky. Ricky was actually the ex-boyfriend of the best friend (Sammy) of my ex. They broke up, badly. Ricky now had a new girlfriend and they seemed to go along great. Ricky and Poppi start talking.
Everything seems fine. There is a big event for my business coming up and Poppi is ready for it. We have a great day. Then, the new guy, the one that was now dating my ex and who used to be Poppi's crush, appears. She looks at us, having fun together, and then avoids us altogether. Poppi cares, deeply, and starts mentioning all the horrible things he has done to other girls and exes. As she is talking, I realized something. I don't really care. It doesn't bother me anymore. Usually, I would have jump at the new info and use it to try to win my ex back. But now? Now it was my ex's problem, not mine. It was liberating. I didn't have to be her Superman anymore. She didn't even need me to be Superman, it was a stupid work I had given myself.
Poppi was reminiscing about her own problem, a guy she still liked that we will call Steve. While Steve and her dated and shared moments, he was coming out of a long relationship and made the mistake of mentioning he was still thinking about his ex. Poppi and Steve stopped talking, but Poppi still longed for him, expecting him to contact her back.
And as the day passed, I realized something else. I did like Poppi. But as herself. She was her and I liked that. I debated all day what to do. My trip was coming up in April, and I had finally decided I was going to see my ex. To let her know I had moved on. And to keep my promise to see her, since she didn't kept hers.
The day ended and, luck turns out, Poppi wants me to take her home since its late. In the spur of the moment, while sitting on the sidewalk, I confess.
I like you, I said. At first maybe I was trying to get info from you, but honest to god I enjoy our time together. But I'm not going to do anything about it now. I still have my trip to take care of, and you, yourself, have Steve to think about and solve. And I'm sure she had her own feelings to think about. She was shocked, never saw it coming. I didn't asked for an answer, just wanted to let her know. We where working together too, so let's not complicate things more.
But I did say "How complicated do you want this to be?"
Turns out, extremely. Hugo, the guy that cheated on her girlfriend, was now also interested in Poppi. And then, Ricky asked her out for the weekend.
And me? Well, she doesn't believe I actually like her. It never occurred to her, and I am extremely casual about the whole thing. I also had made an effort to separate work from the relationship. She agreed to go with me on a date later on, too.
And, more importantly, she is interested in me for real, all problems withstanding.
But for now, its all on hold. Steve has finally seem to make moves to get on contact with her, Hugo was just made aware than Lisa is into me, Lisa keeps looking for me and I keep her away, Joana is still around, Martha is laughing her ass off and I... I have my trip still coming up. And I feel confident I don't want my ex back, that I want to get that behind me. That I need to tell her in person. But she is also now asking about me.
March hasn't ended yet, and April rapidly approaches. I don't want to start anything with Poppi yet, but cute things keep happening. Steve and my ex are back in the picture, I'm doing my best to pretend I don't know, and Poppi is worried about how she feels about, well, everyone. Myself, I think I know. I am a really honest and open person and I enjoy drama, but I do keep others feelings in consideration. But the closer I get to my trip, the more scared I get that I might fuck it all up, with, again, everyone.
Your opinion matters.
So far nothing has happened, with none of the girls, I have made sure of that. Close calls a few times, alone moments, but I have remained objective. I don't want to hurt any of their feelings, and of course I don't want to end up hurt either. I called in an "anime" mostly to make fun of the title, but there have been a few situations straight from dumb series. Tripped into boobs, walking into restrooms, finding each other against all odds, all of them connected somehow by an intrinsic line of faith. Too many coincidences to count. Fun has been had and this is just a very brief resume, believe me.
I do have an idea of what to do, but I wanted to write this down to sort out my real feelings. Before writing this I was actually thinking a lot about my ex, but the more I write the more I like the idea of starting something with Poppi. Of course, I can't do it now until I get back from the trip, since I am going to be literally away. She also has her own stuff to deal with, and we don't even know if she is actually into me, since she still has Steve to think about.
I am honestly really enjoying myself right now, there is about another 5 people that are relevant to this story in minor ways but that would make the story too complicated, so I pretty much closed it up in me and Poppi. I was feeling trapped and bored when I was with my ex, even if I did loved her and was sure I was going to marry her. When she left the plan was for just a year or so and then live together, then she extended her stay without consulting me and from there things deteriorated. Now I realize all the fun stuff I missed like focusing on myself, making friends, going out and just enjoying my hobbies. And now that Poppi is in the picture, I feel like I can truly be myself with her. Even if we don't end up dating or anything I'm just happy to have her around. I'm in no hurry to start something now.
What worries me is if I'm maybe been too casual about this or if I have been trampling all over peoples feelings. I try to be as clear as possible but I have been told that it comes off as cold and assholish. I told Poppi I liked her and, for someone who doesn't like conflict, I have made her part of a huge mess of romantic interests. Maybe I was too hasty and should have told her after I came back.
TL:DR
-Girlfriend breaks up with me, she is dating new guy.
-I tell a friend of mine, without me knowing they had a connection. She had a crush on the guy and told him to try and break them up.
-Friend of mine and I start working together and I develop feelings for friend. Meanwhile friend got out of another relationship herself but is starting to answer me back.
-We both have also a few people after us and trying to date us, while we are both trying to sort out our real feelings.
-Both exes are getting back in the picture, I'm meeting mine in April and friend has his guy getting in touch with people around her.
Much like your writing, you need to simplify your life.
It feels like you intentionally draw complications to yourself and your relationships.
Maybe that's what you want but it seems like way too much baggage, personally. Like I don't know why you let the robot from Xenoblade Chronicles 2 further into your life when it was clear she's into drama with the whole trying to break up a relationship by using you. Aren't you upset about that? Seems like a big red flag.
It feels like you intentionally draw complications to yourself and your relationships.
Maybe that's what you want but it seems like way too much baggage, personally. Like I don't know why you let the robot from Xenoblade Chronicles 2 further into your life when it was clear she's into drama with the whole trying to break up a relationship by using you. Aren't you upset about that? Seems like a big red flag.
OP
OP
That's for damn sure.
Poppi is bad news. She used something you sent to her (in confidence!) to try and break up a relationship. She's playing games, and those games only have losers.
Be Single. You're three months out of a 10-year relationship. Give yourself some time to be single. Those regrets you have, about not focusing on yourself, making friends, and enjoying your hobbies? Focus on that. You're clearly not over your ex and don't need to be bringing that emotional baggage into a new relationship.
Don't do that. Fuck what your ex thinks about whether you've moved on or not. She's an ex! Move on by moving on and not let her occupy one iota of your mental energy.
Somehow feels appropriate:
I couldn't keep track of the ridiculous cast of characters. The person who compared it to How I Met Your Mother was probably apt. The protagonist pursues a woman, realizing that all signs point towards it never working out, foregoing every opportunity to change and become a better person, and delivers us a lackluster ending that makes us retroactively hate the entire journey.
Anyway, I'm now shipping Hugo and Steve.
I couldn't keep track of the ridiculous cast of characters. The person who compared it to How I Met Your Mother was probably apt. The protagonist pursues a woman, realizing that all signs point towards it never working out, foregoing every opportunity to change and become a better person, and delivers us a lackluster ending that makes us retroactively hate the entire journey.
Anyway, I'm now shipping Hugo and Steve.
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I like how passionate you are about the whole thing, thanks for reading guys. I'll remain single for now since, yeah, there are still a lot to think about. I do enjoy complicating stuff, keep in mind I've been having a very simple life for the last 8 years, full of playing it safe and not bringing attention to myself. So yeah, I just have to keep in mind not to actually DO something I can't take back.
I'm curious the average age range of everyone in this story. The weird coincidences, the drama, people trying to jump from romantic interest to romantic interest. It feels like you're all in the same high school.
Real talk: the one thing you can do is make yourself prepared to be a better partner. In order to do that, you need to fully get over your ex; you need to enter into your next relationship as unencumbered as possible, and hopefully the person whom you choose is in the same situation. Like you, at one point I craved drama. I enjoyed the crazy stories. I posted, in the aggregate, more than your story; and I fell into worse traps than possibly getting together with someone that was bad news: actually, I generally dated them, and for months at a time.
There's value in being single. There's also value in recognizing that certain people, while abundantly attractive in many ways, simply aren't good for us. I fucked up a number of promising opportunities for several reasons. I pursued a Brazilian Poppi. I dated a Homeless Girl. At one point, I went to a hockey game with my girlfriend's side piece, who happened to be a nice ginger ER doctor. All of that was fun to write about, but none of it led to anything lasting or satisfying.
You're at the point where your self-awareness is fairly strong. You know Poppi's not right for you. The question that you need to ask yourself is "what would be right for me?" More importantly, you need to ask "when I meet that person, how can I best be in a position to be right for them?"
22 to 27 most of them, Joana 32.
I really appreciate you sharing this with me, it gave me a nice perspective about what I want for the future. As you said, it is fun for now but I might regret it later.
I need more time to think about what to do, so I'll avoid more trouble.
Holy shit, you nailed it. My long posts are justified now!
Mate, it's there. But you need to cross-reference Llyranor's wire diagram of dramatis personae while reading or else you'll get confused.
I assumed one novella without a point, then there were two more. He should make his own topic so all of Era can enjoy the twisting tale of romance.
I just entered this thread for the first time and expected dating advice and not an FBI investigation chart
What's the story on spiritist girl? Do I need to read her story before reading Salvavengers: Infinity Girls?
Well, actually, spiritualist girl is interesting. Nia fits, so let's call her that.
Side-Story: Nia the Spiritist.
I actually knew her from high school, and she had a connection to my ex. All three of us used to attend the same Japanese class in high school. Nia was in her third year, I was on my second year, and my ex was on her first year. But we didn't meet each other yet.
Nia was a lonely girl who was into visual kei. While on high school, she was bullied because she would drench her face in make-up, and I mean tons of it. He kept to herself and was really quiet, I was aware she existed and we had a friend in common, so we did talk a couple times but I really can't recall anything about it. I just remembered she was nice and quiet.
It was on my third year when I started dating my ex, and by then Nia had already graduated.
It was actually around the time I started stopping talking with my ex when Nia entered my life again, around September. She was now renting a small place just outside my store, where she would read cards to passerby and offer love advice. When she saw me, she recognized me immediately and gave me a big hug. "SalvaPot! It's been so long, how you have been?" It took me a bit but I did recognize her, since she still had her freckles. Not even make-up could cover up those. Of course, she looked very different. She had colored her hair red, and with her white skin and esoteric clothing, it looked really nice.
We talked for a bit and I told her I didn't recognize her without her make-up. That is when I learned that she was actually really self-aware about her freckles back then, so she did her best to hide them. That since then she had learned to love herself, and it showed, she was a changed woman. I was really happy for her. I got to meet her boyfriend, who also put a place selling quarts right next to her. He looked off to me, but he seemed nice enough. I was very antisocial at this point so I did my best to not get too much into their business, so from them I tried to just let them be and help if they needed me. I helped them out every now and then with tables, chairs and stuff for their clients.
Another friend of mine (Let's call her Rita) started visiting my store every single night and talk my ears out. She is by far the youngest of the group, a cute bubbly 18 year old girl who would make it her job to make tons and tons of friends, and she won't stop until she was on your good side. I found her annoying at first, but she was earnest and honest and we ended up been good friends, she would come and talk to me about all her relationship problems and I would do my best to listen and give her advice. Well, Rita was also a client of Nia and noticed something I didn't: She had stopped going to work for a week now.
I figured she was sick or something, but by chance, I got to see her later on in November. She was at a sushi place I liked, that was quite hidden and not very busy. While waiting for our food, we chatted a bit. Turns out, she had broken up with her boyfriend. They had been dating for two years now, but he got addicted to drugs. The heavy stuff, and he had become erratic and violent. She tried to get him help but he refused it and stole from her to get his fix. She broke all contact with him, and he was expelled from our shopping center. Then, she dated another, older guy for a bit. But her ex was stalking them and tried to stab the new guy. Luckily, the new guy was able to escape with a few scratches, but he was too scared to keep dating Nia.
Nia was really sad about all this, understandably. She had lost the man she once loved to addiction, and now this person wouldn't stop getting in the way of her trying to move on. I felt sorry for her and did my best to comfort her. She asked about me, so I shared with her my own story and how I felt my long relationship was going to end. She was actually the only person that knew I felt that way, everyone else thought we had the perfect relationship and I was excited to see her again in December. I already knew it was ending. Turns out my ex and Nia actually used to be friends in high school due to their love on Japanese music, but they hadn't talked in ages.
Our food was getting cold and we had stuff to do, so we said goodbye. I encouraged her to go back to work, since we now had more security guards and her ex was well known. She did, and Rita was really happy to see her again.
By January, when I was at my lowest point, she noticed something was wrong but didn't asked me further. I pretty much didn't want to talk with anyone so I was thankful she didn't ask more. We talked here and there about our exes whenever we had free time, between work. By the end of the month, encouraged by Rita and Martha, I asked her out. Nia said yes.
Then I bought my tickets, and later on she cancelled the date. I was ok with that, I honestly was not ready. Since then I had actually seen her around and chatted every now and then but I don't feel like asking her out again, we honestly don't have that much in common besides our heartbreaks.
We became good friends and she seems happy now, I still help her with tables and chairs if needed. Actually as I was typing this I boarded a bus to school, and guess what? She was sitting right in front of me! No joke, It came to my attention because another old acquaintance from my first job at a call center recognized me and said hello. I look up, and they are both there, together! They are going to go see a movie and its their second date. I think they make a cute couple. He is a magician and stage performer now. So, Happy ending for Nia, probably? I sure hope so!
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OP
OP
Time to update your chart with Rita, "Quarts", and Magical Trevor.
I refuse. None of this crapload of new text adds anything to the plot. Nia was one of the most expendable character in the story, so fleshing her out is just filler material. Rita isn't a love interest that has a one-sided crush on OP so she's not really relevant either. The quarts druggie ex has done nothing contributing to the plot either (trying to stab the new guy who we didn't even know existed doesn't matter since he doesn't really flesh out any sort of love triangle). Unless druggie starts roughing up OP, I'm not interested.
Salva, you need to learn to pace your story better.
I agree, spiritist girl is irrelevant now. That is why its classified under side-story.
Hell, all the players have their own stories irrelevant to my story. I didn't go deep into Ricky, Sammy and Rita because they are indirect influencers, connected to the background plot, and I would need to introduce 2 people more for it to make sense.
I will work on editing the posts once I'm on the computer.
Quoting myself cause I'm looking for some answers.
Also, do condoms actually help prevent STDs? I mean, they must, right? Or am I worrying about this over nothing?
Went out with my girl yesterday, cheered up my bad day. Ate at Dishoom. Getting engaged next weekend. I got a fashion question.
She wants to get me to wear more clothes that show off my figure, like my arms and butt lol. Wants me to flaunt what I got. I do have skinny jeans but how do I get my butt to show? Most shirts I have would cover it. Start tucking in? This is so silly XD
She wants to get me to wear more clothes that show off my figure, like my arms and butt lol. Wants me to flaunt what I got. I do have skinny jeans but how do I get my butt to show? Most shirts I have would cover it. Start tucking in? This is so silly XD
This shouldn't be a negotiable discussion. If you don't want to go raw without being exclusive, that should be that. Being pressured to not wear condoms is a red flag.
And yes, condoms help prevent STIs, but not fully.
I have my first blind date ever from okcupid friday... im kind of stressed. We didnt talk much in conversation since she's medicine school and don't have much time but accepted to meet me. I bring her to a board games playing shop, hope it goes well
Why are you stressed? Absolute worst-case scenario is that it flops and you console yourself with a brand new boardgame.
Thats not actually a blind date if you know what they look like and have spoken to them.
Maybe I worded that poorly. I'm not being pressured into anything yet, and I haven't talked to her about the exclusivity issue with unprotected sex either. Don't worry, she and I are still good! I just need to tell her that I'm not comfortable having unprotected sex when multiple partners are still on the table, and I plan on doing that this weekend when I see her again.
Thank you for the concern though! I'm glad you guys have my back.
So I got a match in Tinder and the few we could talk before she went to sleep was about me joking to never have kissed someone with a piercing and after that I suggested a date. She told me she could be busy the weekend, but she was interested (thank god after my lame piercing joke I was expecting the worse lol), so I said if tacos were fine, 'cause according to Tinder we live near and well, there are a lot of tacos places near where I live. Today later I will talk her again to confirm if she want to go dinner tomorrow or the weeekend.
I read part one thinking there was going ro be some point or question. Needless to say I skipped 2, 3 and 4. Browsing through the text the thing that pisses me off the most is using Nia and Poppi as names. I know you refer to it as a shitty anime (and it is) but can you separate it from the shitty anime I actually like?
Anyway, real advice. You say you like drama. If you like drama then no one here can help you. Relationships (romantic, platonic, mentor etc) are not suppose to be full of drama and constant tension. If you like your life in flux that's fine, but how can we advise someone who literally enjoys when shit is stirring?
Anyway, real advice. You say you like drama. If you like drama then no one here can help you. Relationships (romantic, platonic, mentor etc) are not suppose to be full of drama and constant tension. If you like your life in flux that's fine, but how can we advise someone who literally enjoys when shit is stirring?
Hey guys. I hope I'm at the right place for this.
So last weekend, an old friend of mine asked me if he could give my number to a friend of his. (A girl)
We've met before but we only casually small talked (I don't even remember about what tbh, but I do remember thinking she was cute).
So I said to my buddy it was ok even though I wondered why she asked for my number now all of a sudden, since it's been about 8 months since we last saw each other.
Anyway we texted a bit and i just went for it and asked her out. So we're seeing each other on Saturday (at a Chi chi's btw).
This is my fist ever date and so i just wanted to ask you guys if you have some basic advice for first dates? (Beyond what's in the OP)
To make it easy for you I thought about listing my biggest flaws:
- my BIGGEST flaw is that I sometimes have INCREDIBLY sweaty hands, usually happens when I'm really nervous like for a presentation in front of an audience, but it also happens in more normal situations
- I have trouble to start and keep conversations going. I know from the few of our texts, that she likes a lot of series, for example Altered Carbon on netflix which we texted about a little.
- My hobbies are watching series, movies and playing videogames... and that's about it... I tried different stuff like music and sports but nothing ever grabbed me. I did recently start running and working out at home just because I wanted to get in better shape.
- I'm studying basic business management at the moment. I find it interesting but usually when I talk to people about it they never seem to understand or find it interesting (this might be my fault since I maybe don't know how to explain it in an interesting manner.)
A couple more questions:
At the end should I pay for her drinks? I assume so since I'm the one who asked her on a date.
Lastly, I'm really curious about why she now suddenly reached out to me. Should I ask her about it or would that be rude?
Sorry if these questions are weird or in the wrong place, but I think she's cute and I'd like for it to work out.
So last weekend, an old friend of mine asked me if he could give my number to a friend of his. (A girl)
We've met before but we only casually small talked (I don't even remember about what tbh, but I do remember thinking she was cute).
So I said to my buddy it was ok even though I wondered why she asked for my number now all of a sudden, since it's been about 8 months since we last saw each other.
Anyway we texted a bit and i just went for it and asked her out. So we're seeing each other on Saturday (at a Chi chi's btw).
This is my fist ever date and so i just wanted to ask you guys if you have some basic advice for first dates? (Beyond what's in the OP)
To make it easy for you I thought about listing my biggest flaws:
- my BIGGEST flaw is that I sometimes have INCREDIBLY sweaty hands, usually happens when I'm really nervous like for a presentation in front of an audience, but it also happens in more normal situations
- I have trouble to start and keep conversations going. I know from the few of our texts, that she likes a lot of series, for example Altered Carbon on netflix which we texted about a little.
- My hobbies are watching series, movies and playing videogames... and that's about it... I tried different stuff like music and sports but nothing ever grabbed me. I did recently start running and working out at home just because I wanted to get in better shape.
- I'm studying basic business management at the moment. I find it interesting but usually when I talk to people about it they never seem to understand or find it interesting (this might be my fault since I maybe don't know how to explain it in an interesting manner.)
A couple more questions:
At the end should I pay for her drinks? I assume so since I'm the one who asked her on a date.
Lastly, I'm really curious about why she now suddenly reached out to me. Should I ask her about it or would that be rude?
Sorry if these questions are weird or in the wrong place, but I think she's cute and I'd like for it to work out.
No man you're good. This is where a question like this belongs.
The sweaty palms thing you can try to play off in a fun way if she notices like "sorry, I get a little nervous when I'm on a date with a cute girl."
If you guys are both students and you dont know a lot about her you can always ask about her major, what classes she's taking currently or whenever classes resume, where she is initially from, and so on. These questions can lead into more interesting topics that you want to follow up. Also, if she's interested she should be doing her fair share of keeping the conversation going.
For hobbies avoid gaming mostly because it carries some negative connotations with it still. Thats really about as much advice as I have here besides try going out and doing more stuff for the fun of it.
I know nothing about business management so Im not gonna be much help there.
I say pay for the drinks. It reflects well I think.
I dont think you should really ask about it, just because I dont feel like theres really a need to.
Heads up this probably isn't the best advice you could get, and in fact could all be terrible advice. I'm not that great at dating, I'm way better at relationships. So if you ever need relationship advice definitely hit me up.
Nah man thank you for even trying, I really appreciate it! I also really look forward to the relationship part, since I think that's where all the fun actually is.
Bit late to the party, but go full goofy with it and have some fun, my dude. I don't have the greatest pics, or too many of them to begin with, so I used what I had and made this: https://imgur.com/a/UrDoz
Had a lot of success.
How the heck were you able to customize your profile like that? Is that a paid feature?
I've been talking to this guy on Coffee Meets Bagel, and he can string together a sentence, seems personable, is pretty cute, etc. So I gave him my number and told him to text me if he wants and we can set up a coffee/drinks date. He texted me almost right away, but launched right into small talk again. ??? What am I supposed to do with this? He texted me a few minutes ago asking what books I like. We could be talking about that in person... I don't want to be some guy's texting buddy. I know I could bring up setting a date again, but I don't want to have to drag it out of him. He seems kind of nerdy and maybe a little shy, but I wasn't subtle.
I had a date tonight that went well but wasn't anything amazing. He was a good listener, asked interesting questions, and made a few genuinely funny jokes. But I think he was nervous and might not've come out of his shell. He was also more attractive than in his photos, which I've come to expect from straight men. (You guys can figure it out, I believe in you!) If he asks me out again, I'll probably go and see if I feel more of a connection, but if not I'll just let it go.
I had a date tonight that went well but wasn't anything amazing. He was a good listener, asked interesting questions, and made a few genuinely funny jokes. But I think he was nervous and might not've come out of his shell. He was also more attractive than in his photos, which I've come to expect from straight men. (You guys can figure it out, I believe in you!) If he asks me out again, I'll probably go and see if I feel more of a connection, but if not I'll just let it go.