Nah. Went on Google Slides and set the aspect ratio to be 1:1 (aspect ratio of images on an expanded bio on Tinder), made the presentation, took screenshots, and uploaded them as the pictures.
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Nah. Went on Google Slides and set the aspect ratio to be 1:1 (aspect ratio of images on an expanded bio on Tinder), made the presentation, took screenshots, and uploaded them as the pictures.
This profile is amazing. If I were on tinder I'd go on a date with you in a heartbeat based on that. Great job, not surprising you've had so much success lol
Now that's something that I need to do as that can truly highlight my true self.
I fucked up real bad, everyone.
I was texting the girl I'm seeing and we were making some future date plans and I said I want to make a batch of pancakes and get fat. I was joking and talking solely about myself, and her responses indicated that she got that and was joking along with me. At one point I even said "I'm gonna get fat." We moved on from that and then a couple of texts later she said that my previous jokes brought up some "weird body image issues for [her]" (her words) and maybe we should take a break for a while. This completely blindsided me and I apologized and said I wasn't directing that at her and I won't joke about body issues again and apologized again. I said that if she still wanted to take a break that's okay, but could I text her tomorrow to see how she feels about our plans for Saturday and she said "Yeah sure." I wished her goodnight and said I'm sorry that I hurt her feelings. She said no worries and goodnight.
It was stupid and insensitive to joke about body image, even though I was talking about myself. That's an issue for a lot of people and I just shouldn't have gone there in any capacity. Now I might have ruined things because of failed self-deprecating humor. Dammit.
Is there any way to fix this mess I made?
I was texting the girl I'm seeing and we were making some future date plans and I said I want to make a batch of pancakes and get fat. I was joking and talking solely about myself, and her responses indicated that she got that and was joking along with me. At one point I even said "I'm gonna get fat." We moved on from that and then a couple of texts later she said that my previous jokes brought up some "weird body image issues for [her]" (her words) and maybe we should take a break for a while. This completely blindsided me and I apologized and said I wasn't directing that at her and I won't joke about body issues again and apologized again. I said that if she still wanted to take a break that's okay, but could I text her tomorrow to see how she feels about our plans for Saturday and she said "Yeah sure." I wished her goodnight and said I'm sorry that I hurt her feelings. She said no worries and goodnight.
It was stupid and insensitive to joke about body image, even though I was talking about myself. That's an issue for a lot of people and I just shouldn't have gone there in any capacity. Now I might have ruined things because of failed self-deprecating humor. Dammit.
Is there any way to fix this mess I made?
I mean, I dont know about the history of this woman, but I wouldnt blame myself if I were you. Its a strange thing to get offended over to begin with. Even when she has a history with body issues of her own, its not like that what you said is 100% vile and evil and people should be fair enough to tell others that they dont like what they head before they overreact like this...
Just ask him out on a date again. He might not have realised you asked as you transitioned from app to text. Let him know what date you're free, suggest a place. No harm in this. And let him know "How about we talk books and other things on a date?".
How the hell did you manage to get a blind date on a dating site haha
No you didn't fuck up. If that's all it takes for her to not want to see you again she has some serious issues.
You don't do anything. Let her come back and reply to you and don't blame yourself. If she reacts like that to something that you had no idea about and she did not inform you of in advance she'll do it again. Honestly that's a red flag and if you want a relationship where your constantly walking on eggshells in case you say something that offends her that's a pretty shitty relationship to be in. She's also not sure if she's going to be exclusive or bi as well. What did I say the last time you had an issue with her? She's hedge betting and maybe this "offence" she took was her just looking for a way out and blaming you. Instead of joking along she could have done the mature thing and asked you not to make weight jokes as she has body issues. Instead she took the nuke option and asked for a break. Just a break mind you, not splitting up again hedge betting.
Split up with her and move on, it's springtime, prime dating season. This is not a relationship you want to get into.
Okay, you guys and my friends that I've talked to about this are all saying the same thing. Serious red flags - consider stepping away right now.
Since the advice seems to be unanimous I guess I should put an end to this. Since I said I'd check in with her tomorrow should I even do that now? It seems like it would be the polite thing to do and I already said I'd do it. Should I just say that I've thought about it and maybe she was right and we should stop seeing each other?
Don't do it. The advice you've gotten is guaranteed to save you a lot of heartache. Plenty more fish in the sea, most including those that wouldn't make you feel bad when you did nothing wrong. You have done nothing wrong. She indicated she wanted the break when you did nothing wrong. Me personally I would step back and move on. Try to find the right person, not just 'a' person. Good luck :)
And a small edit. As well as her hedge betting, what she has done can also be about control. If it is, that's an even bigger red flag.
Yeah big red flag, Beren . She got you thinking you fucked up when you did absolutely nothing wrong. At this point, because she knows you want to be exclusive and she's not sure yet, she's got power over you and now she's abusing it by holding that potential relationship hostage. Big sign that she may be emotionally manipulative. This along with her whole wanting to try things with that other girl is her leading you by a string.
I was in a relationship with a person like this before and it was awful. I would not be surprised if she threatens you with the termination of your relationship every time things don't go her way to control you. Like others have said, I would get out. Even if she isn't emotionally manipulative, do you really want to be with someone who freaks out from a harmless joke not even directed at her?
Edit: Also if someone is asking to take a break that early (you aren't even exclusive yet), I doubt the relationship would have legs. There shouldn't be any drama at this point at all.
I was in a relationship with a person like this before and it was awful. I would not be surprised if she threatens you with the termination of your relationship every time things don't go her way to control you. Like others have said, I would get out. Even if she isn't emotionally manipulative, do you really want to be with someone who freaks out from a harmless joke not even directed at her?
Edit: Also if someone is asking to take a break that early (you aren't even exclusive yet), I doubt the relationship would have legs. There shouldn't be any drama at this point at all.
Yeah, get out man - my wife has had serious body image issues in the past and let me tell you a joke like that would not even register with her.
I'd almost understand if you made some poorly judged joke if she was eating pancakes and made a fat joke but you didn't, you were talking about yourself and it was completely and utterly harmless. Run for the hills my man, I'd bet my bottom dollar she is a very manipulative person based on this.
I'd almost understand if you made some poorly judged joke if she was eating pancakes and made a fat joke but you didn't, you were talking about yourself and it was completely and utterly harmless. Run for the hills my man, I'd bet my bottom dollar she is a very manipulative person based on this.
I'd step away from them personally, you've done nothing wrong as many here have said and it would seem with her you'd have to chose what to joke with and not, which can be an issue down the line.
Ghosting is always shitty. I dont know, maybe wait until she says something.
Ball's in her court, you don't need to "ghost" her. But if she does reach out to you, just reply saying something like "I don't think this will work out - take care and good luck".
Don't. But be short and succinct. You agree that it's not working out and that you shouldn't see each other anymore. Wish her luck in her future endeavors or whatever BS you feel like saying. Then block and delete. Don't let it turn into a negotiation.
'I can't wait for non-exclusive unprotected sex' to 'we should take a break' after one joke, huh?
Fam, this is nothing. I dunno what her issue is or if she is just looking for a way out but this aint on you at all. And frankly, its so stupid I would just ignore her from this point forward. She is going to text you back.
People are telling you no but actually yes you should. Time to just leave this one man. She dont need an explanation. Just do your thing.
Yeah, you're right. I'm overthinking it. That's a good segue too, thanks.
Alright I won't reach out and if she reaches out I'll say she's probably right and we should call it quits and best of luck.
As a side note I really need to stop loaning books to women I'm dating. We traded books we liked and this is the fourth time I'm going to lose this one too. And the book she lent me was The Fountainhead - I do not consider this an even trade.
In hindsight Ayn Rand probably should have been a red flag too.
As a side note I really need to stop loaning books to women I'm dating. We traded books we liked and this is the fourth time I'm going to lose this one too. And the book she lent me was The Fountainhead - I do not consider this an even trade.
In hindsight Ayn Rand probably should have been a red flag too.
I would do this, but you guys told me to be short and succinct. :D
"The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt." - Ayn Rand
(It's actually her only non-shitty quote!)
Lol works for me!
After that I'll launch into musings about architecture.
"I had a great time/I had a lot of fun/ I'd really enjoyed this/ Let's do this again soon, when are you free? I'm free on this day..."
Something like that. In your own words, of course. If you enjoyed the date and want to see them again, just tell them. You can do it at the end of the date or shortly after when you text them though I think bringing it up during the date works better.
Officially out of this pool!
Back on the old site when things were first starting out, you guys gave me some great advice that helped me out in this relationship. Couldn't have done it without you! Thank you all.
Officially out of this pool!
Back on the old site when things were first starting out, you guys gave me some great advice that helped me out in this relationship. Couldn't have done it without you! Thank you all.
Congrats!! And that dog is adorable!!
Bro, give us the deets! Congrats, awesome to hear!
Officially out of this pool!
Back on the old site when things were first starting out, you guys gave me some great advice that helped me out in this relationship. Couldn't have done it without you! Thank you all.
Let's fucking gooooo
Officially out of this pool!
Back on the old site when things were first starting out, you guys gave me some great advice that helped me out in this relationship. Couldn't have done it without you! Thank you all.
We met on OKCupid about two years ago, now. Things were going well, then I hit a spot where I was worried about our mismatch in hobbies, but I got some good advice about segueing her into my nerddom without making it weird. She's now a huge Battlestar Galactica fan, but I still have to go to superhero flicks solo cause she can't stand comic books.
I was going to ask her to marry me at Disney but got the flu and then like 3 severe respiratory/sinus infections in a row and bronchitis, so I had to bump my plans back. Instead it was at Renn Fest in the little romanesque chapel they had set up there. I dragged her in acting like I was joking around about taking some cute pictures to mess with our family, and when I got her at the altar I knelt down and surprised her with the ring.
I could've waited for Disney later, but she actually went home today to the appalachians to visit friends and family, and I really wanted her to have the ring before she did because it'd be another year til she got up there and I wanted her to be able to show it off and be the center of attention for it while she was there. Turned out to be a great choice.
She insisted on the chalkboard and bowtie for my boy there, but she makes me do all kinds of craft stuff I never liked much before but begrudgingly enjoy now.
It's a great feeling going from yourself and the girl you're dating to the couple as a singular thing. It's like being part of a binary system, moving around each other in the pull of one another's hopes and dreams and ambitions.
It was great meeting you, I had a lot of fun. Let's do it again sometime soon!
Yes!
Yes just thank them for the date and leave.
Well go for a kiss if you didn't before or invite them to your place depending on your schedules.
yup and sometimes they don't even send you a message. Deleted that shit in a few hours when i tried it out.
Not yet, we're kinda just enjoying the engagement for the moment. Thinking of March or April next year in the Asheville, NC area since it's liberal and central to all our family group, or a small affair with close friends and family in Vegas.
Nice! We're doing it way earlier, end of August to September.
I went out with this chick today but I wasn't really sure if she was into me. I started talking to her yesterday and while we took a long walk (and previously) I was flirting with her but she wasn't really reciprocating. So I figured she must not really be interested. This morning she did ask me out to come down to her area and eat lunch with her. Which I thought was weird because she was a bit more flirty over text than in person. Then in person we had a good time but wasn't flirty at all. She invited me back to her hotel....but her roommates were there so nothing really happened.
I figure since this was the last day we would see each other since we were both in town for a convention and we live very far apart, she didn't wanna get too attached to me. Any thoughts?
I figure since this was the last day we would see each other since we were both in town for a convention and we live very far apart, she didn't wanna get too attached to me. Any thoughts?