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Three poor interactions with women in less than 24 hours for me. First one was a tinder date which I didn't really have any expectations about anyway. She turned out actually be pretty cool, but guess she didn't feel the same way about me. So it was a nice date, but didn't really go anywhere.
Second one was a phone date(?), she lives in another city so this was basically our coffee date. Felt like I was in a job interview with her. Still asked her out, mainly because based on her pictures she is exactly my type, and at first she didn't say yes or no. That lead to some deeper talk, and we agreed to meet next weekend. I didn't want to pressure her in any way, but I don't know how she took it. Now I kinda feel unsure if that date is a good idea.
The final one was with a girl I've just been chatting with. We've had some good talks, but nothin more. I told her about my phone conversation with girl #2, and she started talking about how she is old fashioned and doesn't date multiple people at the same time. I pointed out that we haven't even met in real life, and she agreed, but seemed disappointed anyway. I thought we were just whatsapp friends even though I met her though a dating site.
Second one was a phone date(?), she lives in another city so this was basically our coffee date. Felt like I was in a job interview with her. Still asked her out, mainly because based on her pictures she is exactly my type, and at first she didn't say yes or no. That lead to some deeper talk, and we agreed to meet next weekend. I didn't want to pressure her in any way, but I don't know how she took it. Now I kinda feel unsure if that date is a good idea.
The final one was with a girl I've just been chatting with. We've had some good talks, but nothin more. I told her about my phone conversation with girl #2, and she started talking about how she is old fashioned and doesn't date multiple people at the same time. I pointed out that we haven't even met in real life, and she agreed, but seemed disappointed anyway. I thought we were just whatsapp friends even though I met her though a dating site.
Text based communication, you were probably projecting flirting when there was none.
That's fair. I think she invited me out to find out if we were compatible. I thought we were, but IDK what she thought of the date. Oh well, we're both leaving tomorrow and live many states away so it doesn't really matter.
I knew this would be about your ex.... you broke up in DECEMBER it's now the end of MARCH. You even made a dedicated topic about her.
Move the fuck on already or your going to become that guy that only ever had one girlfriend in his life "hurt me so bad I could not trust anyone again"/pity party. Talk to other girls, stop stalking your ex online, it's sad and creepy and maybe, just maybe when you said (paraphrase) she always dates weirdos and losers she met online. Well maybe you should look in the mirror.
I'm going with yes
She was cheating.
Delete her from your social media
Please do.
There's no advice here that you've not already heard and ignored. You're not even posting about dating any more just throwing your own pity party. Why don't you just start your own topic Getting Over a Relationship and then be done with it.
Let her go and don't dwell on what could have happened. Knowing she cheated on you won't change anything and could only serve as a means to either piss you off or make you want to confront her. No good will come from it.
Why do you even care if she cheated on you... it's over. done. kaput. The best you can do now is to block / delete every instance you have of her and start to talk to other girls. If you can't do that yet, work on yourself. As Bacon said a pity party is not a good look and will ultimately hold you back.
Your sister is a trooper for going along. Was that his actual opening salvo? XDlol the shit my sister has to deal with on tinder
You guys are right and honestly I'm not after pity. I just want advice to get over it, you guys give advice but I guess I want an easy way out. Which there isn't. I still check on her online too much, which makes me find out bizarre things. Because she is mentally not right (believe me or not). Which then throws me off again. I think if I stop that I will be fine. I wont post about it in this thread again, for realz this time.
Not sure if it was the opening salvo, because she sent just the picture without context, but I guess it was. Yeah, she likes trolling the most obnoxious guys, lol
Great! Now thank her for a good date and setup the next one.
Let's say she cheated. Excellent! That makes the break-up a very positive and justified thing. It'll be easier to move on. Great! Now just get tested and everything will be sweet. Now delete and block her from everything. You stalking her online is a self-inflicted wound and no one can help you with that.
You're right. And the list of reasons why the break up is a positive thing is endless at this point. I'm just stuck in a certain mindset, I need to kick myself. Oh I wasn't going to post about it in this thread again, replies don't count!
We don't care whether or not you post about it here, just want you off her social media once and for all. Unfriend, unfollow etc. Just promise us that. Otherwise you can never move on.
Said it a bunch of times man. Delete her from social media. Block then delete her number. Like accept its done.
We cant help you if you wont take the basic first step. Nothing left to say other than that. You wanna be happy, stop talking and do it.
Listen to this man (and everyone else for that matter).
I'm hoping to snap some nice photos on Friday. Invited a couple of friends to train parkour with me.
So you'll block and delete her from your social media, as well as block and delete her number from your phone?
(If you've already done this, good job!)
I did it when my matches would dry up, kind of depends on the person. I did it after 3 weeks or so
Question on photos, what's the rule of thumb on group photos?
My first pic is a selfie and then I have group photos after. Two pics with five people including me and another two of myself w/ another person.
My first pic is a selfie and then I have group photos after. Two pics with five people including me and another two of myself w/ another person.
Gotcha, thanks.
Group photos are not great, cause people don't like searching for you in the crowd so just one is ok to show you have an adventurous side. Any photos of just yourself taken by someone else? Those would be preferable to a selfie for the first photo.
I think one is enough just to show you are social. Definitely good to lead with a photo of just you so people don't have to guess who you are. I guess don't post a group photo with a friend who's way better looking than you haha.
Agreed with Messofanego about a shot of you taken by someone else. Those are good especially if you're in an interesting setting. I think you are allowed one selfie as long as it's a good one. I think the selfies become a problem when that's most of your photos.
I have one of me holding a snowboard, but I swapped that just now for one of the big group photos and removed one of the photos of me with another person.
I'll have to have someone take a photo of me.
The snowboard photo should do fine as the first photo if you still got it. And yeah, good to have more photos of yourself that isn't a selfie. Whenever you're out with friends or family, get a photo taken at somewhere interesting. One selfie is fine.
Comment on one of the pictures or something in their bio. Weeds out the spam to them so they bother responding.
Never heard back from that girl who flipped out from the joke. I even showed some of my friends the text chain, and they'd scroll through nodding and laughing at the flirting, get to the one where she says she wants a break, get a confused look on their face, scroll back up to reread, scroll back down, and get an even more confused look on their face. They couldn't figure out what her deal was or what happened. Common theories were someone stole her phone and she never corrected it, she was punking me and then just followed through on it for some reason, or the theories brought up here. Nobody could figure out what she was doing and said that it definitely wasn't my fault, so at least I don't feel like I'm going crazy.
Oh well.
Already got a date set up for Thursday. Hurray!
Oh well.
Already got a date set up for Thursday. Hurray!
I think it depends. I have only one group photo, and I'm the only guy in it, so there's no way someone could miss who I was, and I can't be compared to other guys in the shot either.
They were joking. There's a level of absurdism to it that invites it, I feel. Plus my friends and I frequently joke around like this.Of course, if you ignore the evidence in front of them.
Talk about something broad that you're passionate about. I would always ask about music because I love a huge variety of it so I almost always found common ground with whoever I talked to. The first message I sent to my now-girlfriend was just "Hi! Who are some of your favorite bands?" It's not as hard to start a conversation as it may seem.
9 times out of 10 if it's someone who wants to have a conversation, they'll respond if you ask a question and seem genuine. It also helps you gauge their investment if you ask something broad. I can't tell you how many people I got who replied to be saying "all kinds" if I ask about what they listen to. But for every 3 people who have half assed responses, I got lists of 5-10 bands, favorite albums, and favorite concerts which are always fun to talk about for me.
So last week I went out for drinks with a bunch of co-workers to a bar and when we were tipsy/drunk this girl I worked with seemed really affectionate towards me.She gave me a huge hug and kiss when first seeing me, holding my arm tight as we walked out of the bar, and was extra chatty. Well, after that night I guess I was a bit more forward than I thought after a few drinks cause she told a co-worker who we're both friends with she thought I might have been hitting on her. I wasn't really but I have started to like her a lot even thought we're pretty different people and that probably came out. She didn't tell the co-worker if it was a good or bad thing, just that she thought I was.
However, she's still seemed super friendly to me. She's really excited for a drinks night I've set up and can't wait, I made a sarcastic comment the other day and she went into a laughing fit, and when it was just her and me working together late at night she asked me to come over and keep her company. Maybe I'm making huge leaps of logic here but if she thought I was hitting on her and was against it I would think she might distance herself a bit or not be as openly friendly? If it was anyone else I'd just ask her out right away but being a co-worker I'm always super hesitant.
However, she's still seemed super friendly to me. She's really excited for a drinks night I've set up and can't wait, I made a sarcastic comment the other day and she went into a laughing fit, and when it was just her and me working together late at night she asked me to come over and keep her company. Maybe I'm making huge leaps of logic here but if she thought I was hitting on her and was against it I would think she might distance herself a bit or not be as openly friendly? If it was anyone else I'd just ask her out right away but being a co-worker I'm always super hesitant.
I feel like the few matches I get these days just don't care. They'll laugh at my jokes, reply to my questions, but will not at any point ask me any counter-questions. Not even a "what about you?". After four-or-so rounds of one-sided conversation, I just think to myself "fuck it", and just ask them out. Of course that never works out. Then I just unmatch and move on.
I'd love to have a match show some interest, and not just match with me for the attention or whatever. Online dating is starting to feel like a huge waste of time (and money spent on boosts just to get my profile seen in the first place) tbh.
I'd love to have a match show some interest, and not just match with me for the attention or whatever. Online dating is starting to feel like a huge waste of time (and money spent on boosts just to get my profile seen in the first place) tbh.
Just take a break from it for a while if it's feeling like a chore. You will find those women that are so used to being chased that they never develop conversational skills. You're right to cut to the chase and ask for the date. Them saying no is evidence that they just want a texting buddy/attention. It's all part of the game. It's not you, it's them so don't be too hard on yourself. Don't forget to use real world dating also.
I remember using boosts, using super likes, using tinder gold. When they didn't work, I just ended up feeling more frustrated than before. Not only was nothing working out, I was wasting money on it too. I would stop using the paid services if I were you. None of them ever helped me get a date.
And like Alwayscrazybacon said, it's a good idea to take a break when it gets frustrating like this and feels like a chore. Delete your profile and take a break from it. When you come back to it, make a new profile so that the algorithm shows you to more people. It's better to do that than to pay money into it.
If you're using Tinder as your primary way of dating, definitely dial back on it and make it second to meeting people in person. It will make it a lot less frustrating. It's funny how when Tinder finally worked out for me, I had put it on the backburner and was dating someone I met offline.
Allow me to assume your gender?
This is what I hate about Tinder, but that's life unless you look like Brad Pitt, I guess. Not a fan of pandering.
Now this is some good advice.
Yes I remember that. I used to to hit them with 'it takes two people to have a conversation'
Yeah guys, that's were I'm at too. Thanks for the words. Started going out a couple of weeks ago. Last weekend I went dancing, and invited a bunch of randoms to my place for an after party. Was a lot of fun. Doing it again this weekend.
I got a single lead left on Tinder. We've chatted slowly for a couple of days, but things sped up today and I asked her out. Her passions include: assembling IKEA furniture, CAD-drawing, and playing video games. Plus, she's super cute.
But, I now know better than to raise my expectations. Oneitis, and all that.
I got a single lead left on Tinder. We've chatted slowly for a couple of days, but things sped up today and I asked her out. Her passions include: assembling IKEA furniture, CAD-drawing, and playing video games. Plus, she's super cute.
But, I now know better than to raise my expectations. Oneitis, and all that.