-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
Yes more attractive people (including celebrities) tend to be on Tinder but there's also a ton more bots. I hate Tinder.
..Celebrities? :O
Im just blown away with the quality of beauty/picture professionalism Im seeing. Like these are people who look like they come off of professional magazine covers. Feel like Im better off trying alt apps like Bumble.
If it seems too good to be true then it probably is. Myspace angles and professionally shot photos are not a realistic representation of that person anyway so just avoid.
OP
OP
I don't know what you're like in real life. But in this thread? Yeah, your attitude is terrible. "And all the people who never get there." "So yea when you're my age with no experience or hope its game over" "Either way there's no evidence for becoming date viable at late 30s or whenever this ends." That line of thinking is toxic. I would not want to hang around someone who's internalized those feelings, much less date them.
I know this is easier said than done, but a positive mental attitude is a MUST in dating. I've known Autistics confined to a wheelchair who still managed to find love. One day, I hope you meet someone who'll tell you "Wow, you must be really strong to have went through all of that!"
Because I've been close with people who didn't make it and I'm still supporting my suicidal younger sister who keeps getting mistreated by guys. All I have to go on is this whimsical notion that a stranger knew a guy which means anyone can? I've been through an absolute nightmare that makes it easy to doubt what strangers say, especially when it starts with presumptions and end with being criticised.
You're right I wouldn't stand a chance and obviously incompatible with people. Mods please ban me.
Yeah for sure, but the comparison between Tinder and Bumble is pretty night and day. Not talking about looks, but the presentation of photos.
Anywho, been rolling with the same few pics for like a good 2 years now. Added one where my whole body is visible. Just need one now where Im just doing something interesting.
What does "trustworthy" look like? I'd happen a guess that it's subjective nonsense. You look trustworthy to me. Just roll with what you got, like a boss.
Haha I know, it's just a silly thing. It's just funny that a photo looks "48% trustworthy" lol. Or 56% smart :'(
You need to heal, emotionally and psychologically, essentially, waking up from this nightmare you're in. You're not gonna do that on your own, and you're certainly not going to do that in a relationship. If anything, being in a relationship while in your state will drag you down further, bringing down someone else with you as well.
C'mon man, that's just childish - I've known plenty of people who have gone through horrors you couldn't imagine, and they're still a delight to be around. I'm sure what you've been through sucks, but you are in no way unique.
100% confidence overrides 48% or 56% of looks. This is coming from someone who's never dated so take this with a grain of salt.
It's not that you have to get people to like you; don't spend a second on that. You have to first like yourself, then find the people who like you.
I should be a life consultant or something, I'm really good at this.
Well thanks for telling me I'm weak and how strong your friends are without even knowing what I'm dealing with. I don't know why I thought people here would even attempt to understand. Just get shit on for reaching out so why carry on. Obviously people say things for a reason so hopefully you don't do this often.
Edit: thought this was the mental health thread... Regardless your attitude has been extremely presumptuous and condescending
Last edited:
Well I've never dated so I probably shouldn't be trying to give advice haha. I guess my advice is don't seek validation about looks, it's not something we can change.
You're projecting too much into the text you are reading. You need help and I don't think internet forums are right for that in your case.
No. You're just not the only person going through this. Which is a good thing, because you can learn from others suffering and still able to have a life, a dating life even, with all these issues.
I month in LA...and one date came to fruition. And she was a total self obsessed bitch. I really don't have much hope for dating apps out here. Hoping for just a random run in with a cool girl.
People told my friend who had both aspergers and psychosis. Eventually he had enough and died on his own terms. It might seem like everyone has a chance when you rarely hear about multiple friends and family who evidently did not.
Anyway I'm high on morphine and posted that thinking this was a different thread its hard to use a shitty old phone online
Did I wake up from a coma? I thought you said your relationship was over.
It's ok. It happens to the best of us, even without drugs. Everyone here wants the best for you.
They don't get there? Whatchu want me to say? They grow wings and accend to a special place where they meet the date fairy? No one can promise you it will totally work out with no possibility of failure. If that's whatchu want you're wasting your time. What you can do for start is actually give off an aura of positivty because god damn, if this is how you act towards people who want to boost you, what can we offer you? Why would anyone want to help you if your default position is to get pissed they said something you dont like.
Your problems aren't unique. I'm not bout to play that special snowflake game so if that's what you want you're looking in the wrong place. No one is telling you to think of all the people out there who have it worse. Were saying that what you're experiencing is actually common in the dating world and since we have seen others get through it you shouldn't assume your position is hopeless.
If that is offensive to you than the place you need to start is building back some self confidence, positivity and perspective. You're not in a place to give dating a fair shake if you dont even think its possible to make it work.
Something you have to understand is that no one here is trying to lie to you or mislead you. So if the base you are starting from is we are whimsical creatures who have never existed or struggled there is literally nothing we can sit here and say that will please you. Do we know you or your situation outside of resetera? No we don't. All we can offer you is actual genuine advice from our life experiences. Whether you see it as such is on you. Whether you choose to believe we simply have nothing to offer in your situation is on you. We all want you to succeed but whether you believe that, well, that's not on us.
This is what I mean, someone said something you don't like so this is the leap in logic? How can we offer you honest advice and perspective? No one has implied you dont stamd a chance. You got mad for me telling you you absolutely "do" stand a chance :/
Last edited:
Like I know I really should keep being active on Tinder and dating in general but I usually just want to do anything but. I know this is going to sound strange, but does anyone have tips in staying engaged in the dating scene? Perhaps like trying speed dating or something?
I do something on Tinder in between deaths on a game. Can either be check someone's profile, swipe for them, message someone etc. Usually goes well unless I get revived on BF1 mid writing out a message. This probably isn't an answer you're looking for but it makes things like Tinder more exciting.
Try different dating apps, not just Tinder. They all have different people on them and regional differences mean some are more popular in certain locations.
Does the site have a breakdown of the genders who rate the photos?
I don't know since when but I'm afraid of being rejected. Despite liking some girls, I have never ever told them if they want to go out.
Doing some self reflection these past years, I have also accepted that I have a serious problem with myself: I get obsessed with a person I like. This past weekend my mind usually drifted to think about that girl. This obsession has been the reason I have screwed up many times when I was a teenager.
Hey,
I'm in college and this environnement is just too strange for me, it's my 3rd year in but sucks at getting in touch with other people, I try too but at best, I talk to them the day I meet them, some days after still talk a bit and then, nothing happens, it's like I've never known them. I don't know how to approach them (man or woman) so obviously it's even harder to have a chance to date someone since it's my only way to see people from outside. I'm in a college with hundreds of people so it's kind of frightening at first, now i'm used to it but tired of going to meet with others people, it feels like it's too much effort for nothing. I don't even know when I'm screwing up. Thanks !
I'm in college and this environnement is just too strange for me, it's my 3rd year in but sucks at getting in touch with other people, I try too but at best, I talk to them the day I meet them, some days after still talk a bit and then, nothing happens, it's like I've never known them. I don't know how to approach them (man or woman) so obviously it's even harder to have a chance to date someone since it's my only way to see people from outside. I'm in a college with hundreds of people so it's kind of frightening at first, now i'm used to it but tired of going to meet with others people, it feels like it's too much effort for nothing. I don't even know when I'm screwing up. Thanks !
I use to have this problem. What ended up solving it was realizing a girl I liked actually had mutual interest (after a drunk hook up) but I didn't pull the trigger all that time. By the time I was like I need to do something (like 2 weeks after this hook up) she had a bf. At some point you have to let it click that getting rejected is a natural cosequence of going after what you want. Once you ask a few people out and start talking to peoole expressong interest you'll recognize rejection isn't even a big deal. If you're polite you normally get let down easy as well.
Until something is tangible, real and has happened you shouldnt be hung up on it. Easier said than done but just being able to roll on with your day is a big part of being happy and not being so down on things. If you dont occupy space in someone elses thoughts perhaps they should take so much of yours?
Just go out and do things that puts you in contact with people of the sex you like. Find an acro yoga class, or book club or some other group. You will likely meet friends and maybe someone who you like.
Your best years will always be the most current ones. Life has a way of becoming crazier as it goes on.
Everyone has anxiety about meeting people. You will make it through. Make a profile on an app and get out there. like anything else dating is kind of a skill the more people you meet the more comfortable you will be.
Last edited:
words like "disgusting" and "moron" were being thrown around. I wanted to stick up for the poster. that's real, too.
This is more of a rant than a specific question, just getting this off my system.
I'm the definition of a "romantic loser". Soon to be 28, never had a girlfriend. 10< dates entire life, all either set up by my one RL friend or on dating sites. I'll just say if prostitution weren't legal(ish) in my country I would be a virgin. I "need" to go there every couple months for release. I hate pretty much every kind of social gathering, avoid parties at all costs (being the token appearance to be polite on occasions like some office parties). If I could just stay holed up in my room playing games, reading and watching anime all day you can be damn sure I would. Ok, sure, I'd still go out to the gym or certain classes, but that's it. That's already my year round routine actually, just add work.
I've tried online dating seriously a couple years ago. Got a couple dates on okCupid, 1 on bumble, 1 on happn. Only got one second date. AS for my looks, I'll just say the one app I tried I didn't get a single date is Tinder, so yeah. I know my overall problem on online dating, is that I don't know anything about dating. What people talk about, how to flirt, etc, etc. I mean I know the basics reading about but you'd need to pay me a million dollars to attempt to touch a girl during a date or something like that, so heh. I'll go ahead and say I can make people laugh easily, but on very controlled environments like say my workplace. In fact most of my date is just drinking some coffee (yeah, coffee heh) and joking around for a couple hours then going home and never hearing about that girl again. Or in the cases of the ones set up by that friend, just staying around awkwardly saying nothing.
Since that period I completely stopped trying. It's been at least a year since I had any online date and 2-3 years that I don't do anything beyond maybe swipping on tinder (actually uninstalled for a couple months now) or taking a look at ok cupid and doing nothing, maybe send one message. Gave up, pretty much. Every once in a while I might try something I'm not that interested into with the hopes of meeting new people (not even necessarily women) but that never worked out either. Doesn't help most stuff I do kinda wanna get into is just nerdy stuff (Lately I've been thinking to try to get into board gaming but sounds like a pain without friends to start with. Lack motivation to go out and get into random groups). I also seem to have bad luck when I do meet people, specially women. (Spent entire first japanese class talking with a girl then never see her again ever, for example. I even stuck on a basic japanese class when I should be on an intermediary course but ehh, whatever, I could use the conversation practice with strangers and helping people out without the pressure of having to learn, I'll skip ahead next semester.)
And so I'm here. Tbh I don't really want to put any effort into this anymore. It's a pain, I waste a lot of time and never get anything and if I'm being honest here, beyond the eventual depression episodes (been a while since I last need medication, thankfully) and overall loneliness I'm pretty satisfied with where I am at on other things. Hell, during the weekends I barely have time to few bad with all these games. Having a relationship even sounds like it would be a huge blow to my free time, so idk. I do have that generic fear of "dying alone", or more precisely growing old alone, not being able to take care of pets or myself because there's no one in the house, and so on. I'm glad I have low testosterone, can't imagine how would it be to actually have a libido, or maybe that's actually the problem. I'm on medication to lower my prolactine right now which might incrase testosterone but so far I don't feel any difference
Having said all that, no idea what I'm looking for other than just venting, to be honest, not necessarily dating tips or anything for now. Maybe some help on how to cope with being alone, because I'm not really currently interested in trying anything dating related. If that's not acceptable for the thread, I can just delete this.
I'm the definition of a "romantic loser". Soon to be 28, never had a girlfriend. 10< dates entire life, all either set up by my one RL friend or on dating sites. I'll just say if prostitution weren't legal(ish) in my country I would be a virgin. I "need" to go there every couple months for release. I hate pretty much every kind of social gathering, avoid parties at all costs (being the token appearance to be polite on occasions like some office parties). If I could just stay holed up in my room playing games, reading and watching anime all day you can be damn sure I would. Ok, sure, I'd still go out to the gym or certain classes, but that's it. That's already my year round routine actually, just add work.
I've tried online dating seriously a couple years ago. Got a couple dates on okCupid, 1 on bumble, 1 on happn. Only got one second date. AS for my looks, I'll just say the one app I tried I didn't get a single date is Tinder, so yeah. I know my overall problem on online dating, is that I don't know anything about dating. What people talk about, how to flirt, etc, etc. I mean I know the basics reading about but you'd need to pay me a million dollars to attempt to touch a girl during a date or something like that, so heh. I'll go ahead and say I can make people laugh easily, but on very controlled environments like say my workplace. In fact most of my date is just drinking some coffee (yeah, coffee heh) and joking around for a couple hours then going home and never hearing about that girl again. Or in the cases of the ones set up by that friend, just staying around awkwardly saying nothing.
Since that period I completely stopped trying. It's been at least a year since I had any online date and 2-3 years that I don't do anything beyond maybe swipping on tinder (actually uninstalled for a couple months now) or taking a look at ok cupid and doing nothing, maybe send one message. Gave up, pretty much. Every once in a while I might try something I'm not that interested into with the hopes of meeting new people (not even necessarily women) but that never worked out either. Doesn't help most stuff I do kinda wanna get into is just nerdy stuff (Lately I've been thinking to try to get into board gaming but sounds like a pain without friends to start with. Lack motivation to go out and get into random groups). I also seem to have bad luck when I do meet people, specially women. (Spent entire first japanese class talking with a girl then never see her again ever, for example. I even stuck on a basic japanese class when I should be on an intermediary course but ehh, whatever, I could use the conversation practice with strangers and helping people out without the pressure of having to learn, I'll skip ahead next semester.)
And so I'm here. Tbh I don't really want to put any effort into this anymore. It's a pain, I waste a lot of time and never get anything and if I'm being honest here, beyond the eventual depression episodes (been a while since I last need medication, thankfully) and overall loneliness I'm pretty satisfied with where I am at on other things. Hell, during the weekends I barely have time to few bad with all these games. Having a relationship even sounds like it would be a huge blow to my free time, so idk. I do have that generic fear of "dying alone", or more precisely growing old alone, not being able to take care of pets or myself because there's no one in the house, and so on. I'm glad I have low testosterone, can't imagine how would it be to actually have a libido, or maybe that's actually the problem. I'm on medication to lower my prolactine right now which might incrase testosterone but so far I don't feel any difference
Having said all that, no idea what I'm looking for other than just venting, to be honest, not necessarily dating tips or anything for now. Maybe some help on how to cope with being alone, because I'm not really currently interested in trying anything dating related. If that's not acceptable for the thread, I can just delete this.
You can set it up so only men, only women, or both, are rating you haha.
What do you think a romantic loser is? You are just you. You might like to do romantic things but i think everyone has that tendency to feel wanted and to dote on someone else. Try not to think of yourself as loser. You are doing the things that make you happy and fuck anyone for thinking you are loser for those hobbies.
Very few people are naturally good at talking to people. It takes time and practice to get better at it. Finding a group in your area where you have to speak to other people will get you better at this.
But with other things you have said, i feel like maybe a therapist or a counselor to talk to. This will loosen you up and get you to work through your problems and learn how to open up to other people easier. Even if you can only afford to go for a couple sessions. I would recommend it.
Its probably not a good idea to date right now until you feel better about yourself. I hope you can start on that path soon.
You're trying to find people/fish in a massive community/the Pacific.
Go to some interest groups: film club, cycling club, hiking club, game club, RPG club, etc. Narrow the pool from an ocean to a lake or a pond.
You'll do great. Once you start doing activities with people and helping organising things, relationships (from friendship to romance) just happen. As long as you're sincere.
Some of the negativity is really offputting. Like I have a best friend and legit has been so negative about everything dating related. Looks, matches, meeting people and he just wouldn't hear what I was saying. About 2 weeks ago a girl in his lab asked him on a date. Dudes whole vibe is so different now. You would never know son was so down. And all I said to dude over and over was you just need one. Dont give up. Be positive.
Like shit can happen when you least expect it. You don't need 3 tinder dates a week to feel good about yourself. You just have to be open. Dont be so hard on yourself. Like you for you. Fuck, you're all you've got, try to love yourselves friends.
/end rant
Like shit can happen when you least expect it. You don't need 3 tinder dates a week to feel good about yourself. You just have to be open. Dont be so hard on yourself. Like you for you. Fuck, you're all you've got, try to love yourselves friends.
/end rant
I don't really think that, I used it just as a shorthand / easy descriptor. I mean, that's what the internet™ would call. Maybe that wasn't necessary, sorry.
As for therapist, I've been on and off those my entire life. Last time I went she to one wanted to attempt hypnosis and stuff like that, wasn't really interested, and since them I just hadn't had time or money. But that's on the plan for the near future, I'll be done with some bills starting january and might look around for a therapist, but it's a pain to find one that isn't just reciting some self help book, but maybe that's what therapy is heh.
Last edited:
I wish Tinder has a mini-system to send messege with the likes. Or maybe just with the super likes, for the sake to make it "limited" Oh well.
That would just lead to rich guys still abusing women with texts. At least you can only send one. but it would get mishandled very fast. OKC lets you comment on pictures now. I think they just implemented a like system that keeps you from messaging people you havent also liked.
I have trouble to find that sort of club but I'll try that, it will be easier I guess
Alternatively I plan to go on tinder, it's been 4 months and got almost no match so I guess my photos were not great, I don't know what to do in order to improve
Last edited:
The bouts of negativity are expected in these threads: most of us are veterans of the other place, where the dating thread had 7 iterations. When we say that we've heard this all before, we actually mean it.
I'm going to be candid: if your post contains only the argument, even with supporting information, that you'll never, ever get a date or find a single romantic partner... we're not going to agree with you; we'll just cheer you on and wish you the best. The Venn diagram of those suffering from depression (clinical or not) and those suffering from loneliness is something like a perfect circle, so -- I get it.
But the posters who say negativity's easily detected are correct. It's not a good look. I know that because it used to be me; I was a late bloomer too. Things really can change for the better, though.
I sincerely mean that.
I'm going to be candid: if your post contains only the argument, even with supporting information, that you'll never, ever get a date or find a single romantic partner... we're not going to agree with you; we'll just cheer you on and wish you the best. The Venn diagram of those suffering from depression (clinical or not) and those suffering from loneliness is something like a perfect circle, so -- I get it.
But the posters who say negativity's easily detected are correct. It's not a good look. I know that because it used to be me; I was a late bloomer too. Things really can change for the better, though.
I sincerely mean that.
Last edited:
Hahaha, didn't that one OP call it his "little captain"
Since I'm back on the dating game. I started my apps up, I have dates tonight, friday, saturday and sunday. I dont know why i cant just do this casually but. ill be posting the ups and downs of all this shit as I experience it. Hopefully, no one will have crazy ex boyfriends again.
So y'all, remember the cringe catfish video posted a dozen pages ago?
He was the reason r/incels was banned!
He was the reason r/incels was banned!
That video is wrong in so many ways...was that an actual poster to confirm?