Didn't realise that memes were platform exclusive. OK, just ask her then.
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What do you mean memes? It's next to her name in Tinder like if we matched via superlike or boost, but now it's a yellow heart.
My boring life is from a lack of friends and people to do cool stuff with, not lack of girls. I've been dating constantly, but my closest real friend is one hour away. In fact my best friends often joke that I have a harder time making new friends than dating girls, and that it's not normal.
You're right about getting her out of my head and I've been trying to do that the last 2 days.
Communicating less too, since she told me that in times of uncertainty about her life like that she sometimes needs to text less and focus on other stuff, I said ok, no problem. But a week seems impossible, especially since when I don't text her for 3 hours she usually send me a picture of what she's doing or a post she like on Instagram, just to keep the communication going....
Haha, I'm not sure you're right about everything but still, I needed to read something like that so thank you!
The fact is I already have several train tickets to go see her and she already has tickets for a big festival we want to do together at the start of June. And I really want to do all those things we planned together.
I just need to be less attached and care less. Only good can come from caring less. If she loves me (which I suspect) it'll eventually come out, and if she's playing me (which is possible) ,well that's life...
Sounds like Tinder Gold. Do you have it? If you matched someone through Tinder Gold, it will put a symbol next to it.
It's entirely possible I'm wrong but really the point isn't about determining her intentions, it's about you taking the charge to dictate what you are and aren't cool with.
If you want to do all this stuff that's fine but if you wont lay down any boundaries this situation is going to be problematic no matter how you slice it.
How long have you been dating? A month or so?
I don't have it. I suspect it might be that she matched me through Gold, but it's a bit weird that I get to see that's how it happened.
Soul of Miyazaki Don't swim in sunken waters there's too much debris there, the only time it could make sense is so much time has passed that it's pretty much a new relationship.
Surfinn It's over. Move on. Quite likely two possibilities: You were option B or the person on the line. She found something out about you or got cold feet and decided not worth it.
Shal At this point hopefully you're actually going out. You guys are still young. Nothing ventured nothing gained. But good luck because it seems like there's a fair amount liking each other involved already and that's a +
Jokab tinder gold glitch iirc it's happened to a few even with no tinder gold.
Moodz Experience says when people say something like let's see other people too, keep an open relationship etc it mostly isn't because they want to start the conversation about opening things up but rather they've been tempted, they have already done it or have something in mind but don't want the definitive option to go away, etc. Sounds like she likes you, but it's not on the same scale as you like her. She loves your dick sure, you must be a great fuck and some of the emotional strings are nice but it sounds like the distance thing makes it that you're the occasional bf/fwb/fling while something more realistic is most likely closer to home. You being needy was unfortunate but it's put you on the backseat. What's done is done and until you literally show that you absolutely have no care and she's got some risk of losing you, you're on the backfoot. She knows you care, she knows you're more of a certain thing but she's not sure of her feelings and definitely the whole thing reads like it could be an escape too. How's her life in Paris, all good? Are you a good escape from the city or time to spend. Two months is pretty early anyway and you're feeling things that people usually feel after longer but hey it happens we can't help who we like or are attracted to. I'd say exercise caution, don't get your feelings in a twist, and reduce intensity, cool it down a fair bit and keep yourself more emotionally open. If her reaction switches to she doesn't want to lose you in a proper sense then yeah. At the moment it feels like there's some game-playing going on a subconscious level.
Surfinn It's over. Move on. Quite likely two possibilities: You were option B or the person on the line. She found something out about you or got cold feet and decided not worth it.
Shal At this point hopefully you're actually going out. You guys are still young. Nothing ventured nothing gained. But good luck because it seems like there's a fair amount liking each other involved already and that's a +
Jokab tinder gold glitch iirc it's happened to a few even with no tinder gold.
Moodz Experience says when people say something like let's see other people too, keep an open relationship etc it mostly isn't because they want to start the conversation about opening things up but rather they've been tempted, they have already done it or have something in mind but don't want the definitive option to go away, etc. Sounds like she likes you, but it's not on the same scale as you like her. She loves your dick sure, you must be a great fuck and some of the emotional strings are nice but it sounds like the distance thing makes it that you're the occasional bf/fwb/fling while something more realistic is most likely closer to home. You being needy was unfortunate but it's put you on the backseat. What's done is done and until you literally show that you absolutely have no care and she's got some risk of losing you, you're on the backfoot. She knows you care, she knows you're more of a certain thing but she's not sure of her feelings and definitely the whole thing reads like it could be an escape too. How's her life in Paris, all good? Are you a good escape from the city or time to spend. Two months is pretty early anyway and you're feeling things that people usually feel after longer but hey it happens we can't help who we like or are attracted to. I'd say exercise caution, don't get your feelings in a twist, and reduce intensity, cool it down a fair bit and keep yourself more emotionally open. If her reaction switches to she doesn't want to lose you in a proper sense then yeah. At the moment it feels like there's some game-playing going on a subconscious level.
Yeah, take it slow. Do your own thing and such. At around 3 to 4 months is when I personally think if person still cant/wont decide you cut the light switch.
If you tell them how much you hit the gym and then regale then with stories of how you paid $100 dollars a time to look at 3 Russian strippers assholes while they told you that you were such a gentlemen and then follow that up by telling them that as an EFL teacher you successfully creeped on your students it works 100% of the time!
This guy literally believes his own hype and thinks he can PUA his way into harassing women in public now. SMH
*Widdle Puppy has me on ignore for calling out his LBH sexpat bullshit so he wont see this post anyway. :D
Like without any context, just on the street like a PUA? It's easier if you're already doing something at a shop or whatever you're enjoying and then just get to chatting about easy things like you would do with any other stranger and then maybe ask them if they're single.
Oh no...
I don't think I'd ever say yes to some random guy asking me out out of nowhere
basically this would be okay I think ^
It would have to be natural though
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Yeah this is what I mean. I don't mean taking time out of the day just to go out to a park or anything and walking around in the square just to get numbers lol. I don't have the time or interest to do that. I'm thinking of making it a challenge of mine though to try and talk to people outside more and when I'm out and about making small talk. Like maybe once or twice a day at the cafe, grocery store, etc. seems like a pretty good way to add options to my dating life. like a 10-20% increase and really just from chatting it up.
I had no plans on continuing after this happened. Thanks for the response though. What I found strange was that things seemed to turn south as soon as I suggested a location, and before that, everything was normal. So that confused me
Thanks for this, and like I said before, was just sharing an experience about having my time wasted/being stood up. No intentions of taking someone seriously after that experience.
Azraes I was venting and had no intentions of continuing with her. I don't need to be told "move on it's over". That's not helpful or necessary.
Surfinn Pretty much said not to hang on it in simple words and gave the likely reasons as your post said you didn't understand why. These situations aren't worth delving over. People come and go there's 7.5 billion of them. Some people lead you on, not worth your time or effort.
Widdle Puppy Or you could just talk to people without considering a cold open. Be friendly/genuine. Generally when you find people who look like they want to talk (body language) go up to them and talk and do it regardless of gender so long as they look interesting and you'll find it opening up possibilities. If you primarily think women it's going to appear weird in public. Your chances are better if you talk to everyone who seems like they want to talk. Or be that guy who stands there giving free hugs people usually like that person unless they come off as creepy.
Widdle Puppy Or you could just talk to people without considering a cold open. Be friendly/genuine. Generally when you find people who look like they want to talk (body language) go up to them and talk and do it regardless of gender so long as they look interesting and you'll find it opening up possibilities. If you primarily think women it's going to appear weird in public. Your chances are better if you talk to everyone who seems like they want to talk. Or be that guy who stands there giving free hugs people usually like that person unless they come off as creepy.
You said you didn't understand at the end of your post but didn't elaborate before whether you were going to continue until just now so being told that it's over is fine because now you don't have to invest any more energy into her. Just making your life easier instead of having to wonder.
I apologize if my original post wasn't clearer, then. I thought it was clear that I was venting about something that was over, even if I didn't understand why it happened. Because in that moment, yenno, it's frustrating and annoying that your time was wasted over something that's really unclear.
Getting that experience off of my chest and also confused about what made it turn from "yeah, we're going out" to a standoffish, one word response about something really normal. I feel like anybody in my position would also wonder why it happened that way, even if briefly.
Anyway, back to square one
Getting that experience off of my chest and also confused about what made it turn from "yeah, we're going out" to a standoffish, one word response about something really normal. I feel like anybody in my position would also wonder why it happened that way, even if briefly.
Anyway, back to square one
My guy I appreciate the reply but I gotta disagree with your refinement of this information/advice. There is a lot of truth to what you said and sure I think being friendly with everyone in all situations in public is fine if it arises but I need to be guided and focus my energy specifically on talking to women when out. I wouldn't go out soley to do this but it seems like it could be a good habit to build by just getting my head into the right zen/vulnerable space and when the opportunity arises when I'm walking through the park, in the line at a cafe, etc going for it. I could see being liberal with my openness as a good thing to do throughout the day just to stay warmed up but ultimately I think I need to stay focused and be honest why I'm doing it and what I hope to achieve from it. I wanna expand my dating pool a little more and I wanna meet women during the day at interesting places like the park, gym, stores and cafe. What makes it weird is mindsets and beliefs. I think if I'm nerveous or even if I'm kind of indirect (nerveous and dishonest) with my mindset holding something like "I'm just doing this to talk to everyone" then it's not the most wisest effort. I'm doing this to talk to girls I'm attracted to and to get their number to set up a date... plain and simple. Not everyone will give me their number or even if they do end up meeting me for a date but that's life. Not everyone will like me, but that's not the point. It's to screen for those that will :)
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Wow, that's something. The friends probably already told her what happened. Dont ask her out.
Haha, I am not trying to ask my co-worker out.
Though I did have a bit of a crush on her, I think after Friday night/Saturday morning that is dead.
My co-worker is her friend, which is how I met this girl Friday.
It was a wild night.
Had a first date recently and while the person seemed cool and nice, I'm not sure if I'm ultimately romantically attracted to her. But at the same time, she might be a cool person to hang out with as a friend? But not sure how to even approach that really or if it's even worth that effort, don't know if others have had similar experiences.
I took the plunge and that girl I've been seeing and I are now exclusive!
I was going to wait because she just left the country for a couple of weeks on vacation, and was going to ask her when she got back. But on Friday we were hanging out as it was our last time before she left and we were just chilling out in the park. This guy with a camera walks up to us and goes "Awww you guys are cute. Are you a couple?" She and I weren't sure how to respond (later we talked and we both thought he was going to ask to take our picture or something) and we both went "...er...yes" at the same time. He was like "Oh great! Sorry to interrupt your date but would you mind taking a couple pictures of me and my girl here?" So we were instantly relieved and happy to help. They were a cute couple. We sat back down and chatted but I decided that since that random guy brought it up I should address it. I told her I was planning on doing this after she got back but since it was brought up would she like to be exclusive. She said yes and also said she was glad I brought it up because she would have been wondering about it while she was on vacation. So that was decided. Then we watched Spider-man Homecoming and ate cheeseburgers and roast potatoes (her choices - we cooked together though). It was a really great day and we were sad to say goodbye to each other for a couple of weeks. We've already made some plans for when she gets back, and in retrospect I'm glad I didn't wait to bring it up because I'm more at ease now than I think I would have been otherwise, knowing that we're both getting serious about each other. I think she's pretty special and I know I brought this up before but I could see this going somewhere great.
She and I have messaged each other a bit today, as she just got to wherever she's staying and is about to go to bed. Feels good.
In the meantime I have a couple of weeks solo so I'm going to spend time with friends, probably catch Avengers, and watch the entire extended Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I was going to wait because she just left the country for a couple of weeks on vacation, and was going to ask her when she got back. But on Friday we were hanging out as it was our last time before she left and we were just chilling out in the park. This guy with a camera walks up to us and goes "Awww you guys are cute. Are you a couple?" She and I weren't sure how to respond (later we talked and we both thought he was going to ask to take our picture or something) and we both went "...er...yes" at the same time. He was like "Oh great! Sorry to interrupt your date but would you mind taking a couple pictures of me and my girl here?" So we were instantly relieved and happy to help. They were a cute couple. We sat back down and chatted but I decided that since that random guy brought it up I should address it. I told her I was planning on doing this after she got back but since it was brought up would she like to be exclusive. She said yes and also said she was glad I brought it up because she would have been wondering about it while she was on vacation. So that was decided. Then we watched Spider-man Homecoming and ate cheeseburgers and roast potatoes (her choices - we cooked together though). It was a really great day and we were sad to say goodbye to each other for a couple of weeks. We've already made some plans for when she gets back, and in retrospect I'm glad I didn't wait to bring it up because I'm more at ease now than I think I would have been otherwise, knowing that we're both getting serious about each other. I think she's pretty special and I know I brought this up before but I could see this going somewhere great.
She and I have messaged each other a bit today, as she just got to wherever she's staying and is about to go to bed. Feels good.
In the meantime I have a couple of weeks solo so I'm going to spend time with friends, probably catch Avengers, and watch the entire extended Lord of the Rings trilogy.
It's like watching a movie with the commentary track on
Just tell her straight, I'm not feeling anything romantic with you but I think we could be good friends. She'll either accept or reject that, but it's better to let her know where she stands.
I need a bit of advice. So I met this girl (tinder friend) on tinder that I wasn't really interested in sexually/romantically but she is pretty cool just as a person and I wanted to be her friend since our values seem to align quite a bit. So anyways she introduces me to her friends/squad and I'm part of it now and have went out many times with them. We mutually follow each other on IG and I have their contacts. So one of her friends I like and has signaled liking me as well. I have a crush on her friend. Thing is tinder friend seems to like me and it's just a bit of a weird feeling for me. I haven't ever hit on tinder girl or signalled that I was interested in her romantically. She seems to act kinda needy or weird when her freind flirts with me. Tinder friend asked me to give her a ride on my motorcycle which is something I only do with girls I Iike in a sexual/romantic way. How can I make it clear I'm not interested in her? Is it ethically kinda mean to pursue her friend? I flipped the roles in my head and realized I would be kinda hurt if I brought a girl around my friends and she wanted to go after one of them. Thing is we have hung out a bunch and it is long past me trying to get with her. I know people would be saying that I should of made my intentions more clear and pursued her better to avoid friend zone if the roles were reversed. So what should I do? I'm leaning towards smoothly pursuing her friend and just risking whatever happens. Please give me some councel. Thank you
even though this started on tinder. Throwing in relationship drama into a group of friends probably wont end well. Lots of things could happen but it would be better to just be honest with the one chick about how you feel and the pursue the other girl.
Meets a girl on TINDER and friend zones her because he likes the shiney new friend of hers her was introduced too. Then confused as to why a girl he met on TINDER likes him. I am enjoying Piddle Puppys faux intellectual style of posting he uses in the topic to mask the fact he's acting like a fuckboi.
Umm you met her on Tinder. A dating app. Not a friend app. Of course she's gonna act like that when she's into you but you're into her friend. Just be honest, that you see her as a friend. If you don't tell her, she's gonna see you as a fuckboi if you decide to start dating her friend right after she met you. Just tell her before you start going for the other girl.
Cool, thanks! Like most things, I'm over-thinking it.
Went on three dates over the weekend, which is rare since I hardly date.
The first one was a coffee date. I thought it was going well and she agreed during the date to go out again. But then I got a text saying she changed her mind and a "It's not you, it's me, I have to figure myself out". Which I took seriously cause she's still finishing school and doesn't have a steady job yet. Okay alright, moving on.
The second one was also a coffee date I got the "We don't really have any chemistry", which I didn't really feel that was the case, but okay, that's fair.
The third one was a second date, a dinner date last night, I thought it went well, and she seemed happy at the end of it. She mentioned she has a birthday party next weekend but was willing to go out again. But she hasn't responded to me back yet, so I'm assuming I blew that one too. Should I text her again? Should I assume she's ignoring? Did I leave that little of an impression? To be fair to her, we don't text each other like a crazy bunch so maybe that's it.
I just needed to tell someone or vent a little. Maybe it's cause I'm keeping my distance too much? Or not being flirty enough? Im not a super affectionate person so maybe that's it.
The first one was a coffee date. I thought it was going well and she agreed during the date to go out again. But then I got a text saying she changed her mind and a "It's not you, it's me, I have to figure myself out". Which I took seriously cause she's still finishing school and doesn't have a steady job yet. Okay alright, moving on.
The second one was also a coffee date I got the "We don't really have any chemistry", which I didn't really feel that was the case, but okay, that's fair.
The third one was a second date, a dinner date last night, I thought it went well, and she seemed happy at the end of it. She mentioned she has a birthday party next weekend but was willing to go out again. But she hasn't responded to me back yet, so I'm assuming I blew that one too. Should I text her again? Should I assume she's ignoring? Did I leave that little of an impression? To be fair to her, we don't text each other like a crazy bunch so maybe that's it.
I just needed to tell someone or vent a little. Maybe it's cause I'm keeping my distance too much? Or not being flirty enough? Im not a super affectionate person so maybe that's it.
You meet a girl on Tinder, she introduces you to her friends and you think its weird she is signaling she likes you?
I dont know if this is serious.
Third one might get back to you, she might be weighing up options before she commits to next weeks date. I'd check n with her on the Friday if she has not responded by then and if no answer then she's moved on. Chances are from your self description you might come across as a little too serious. You're getting dates, so that's a good thing, just lighten up when your on the dates I guess.
Congrats
Thought like why LOTR tho I hope that's not all straight, rip if so
It's fine
This is Widdle Puppy, so it's more serious than we all would like.
There is about no way I wouldn't think dude was an asshole if he went after her friend.
Not that I think there is really any honor or anything in any of this but still. How the fuck does this go over well?
"I know we met on Tinder but honestly I only see you as a friend. I am more into the friend you introduced me too. I'm gonna go for her"
:/
I still hope dude is not serious.
Okay, wait and see it is. Was really close to texting her earlier to see what happened. I'll try to be less serious. Thanks.
You know how it would play out if it was him introducing her to one of his male friends and then she friendzoned him just to get with that guy. "girl done me wrong, bro stole my girl".
Yeah, three dates in a day is some awesome stuff. You got something people are interested in, just give it time before finding the one that really matters.
So this Friday night was my birthday / English night party we put together each month and was happy a lot of people showed up. Got to meet some nice new friends and hang out with old ones. Even had the cops called haha. Funny bit was, when they came for the noise complaint at the bar, they were also the new recruits who did not know the owner or place. They had a fun time trying to talk to the people who only spoke English there. Though they tried to be stern they took the time to ask two of my friends out on a date rofl. It's common here to ask to go on a group date, even with people you don't know out of nowhere, but was surprised when she told me "they just asked us to meet up with them when their shift ends at midnight" haha.
Don't really remember a good bit of this party but randomly have a few new contacts from the women (and a few men) that I met there. Blackout drunk me is the best at engaging women I guess haha.
It's a bad look no matter what. Like I said, there is no honour in any of this as far as I'm concerned but you're 100% an asshole if you do it.
No one would like having that done to them. (Well I wouldnt care but I know that isnt common)
Still really hope its not serious.
Is it naïve of me to assume that I'll find the love of my life in highschool?
This has been clouding my thoughts lately as I've read (and also seen) a good amount of highschool sweetheart stories, thus altering my mind about seeking and maintaining relationship.
College is right around the corner and I acknowledge that the current pool of people is a pond in comparison to the massive ocean that's nearby.
This has been clouding my thoughts lately as I've read (and also seen) a good amount of highschool sweetheart stories, thus altering my mind about seeking and maintaining relationship.
College is right around the corner and I acknowledge that the current pool of people is a pond in comparison to the massive ocean that's nearby.
You're right, thinking about it more, it's just fantasy.
Sorry for potentially wasting you're or anyone else's time!
It's one of those American movie relationship tropes people like to flaunt when it happens to them. Sure it can and does happen but trying to force it isn't a good idea. As you recognize, there's a whole world out there and we have tools to connect with more people than ever before possible. Catching your first fish and claiming it's the most delicious fish ever and you don't need to ever try another fish would be ignorant.