Yes, I love the film and the book. My personal favourite James McAvoy performance of such a complex character.
Definitely, I really didn't see the twist coming, fucking crazy film.
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Definitely, I really didn't see the twist coming, fucking crazy film.
*edit: I think a lot of you are missing the subtle nuance about the Korean/Japanese thing.
Are you not Asian? lol
Anyway, I don't think you did anything that could be... racist? And yeah, I can see the joke there-- but it probably plays out as a little tone deaf if you're not Asian. For her, "Pacific Rim" refers to, in this context, her cultural heritage. & some people are very proud of their culture, and ESPECIALLY Korean and Japanese... well, the Japanese were fucking horrible t the Koreans, and it's burned in a lot of people's memory. Like a shared cultural hurt. If you read about it, it's terrible. They tried to basically wipe out Korean culture and replace it with Japanese culture.
So, for her, you conflating a KOREAN festival as some sort of Japanese thing is like... probably not cool. Not all Koreans are going to care, or even most, but clearly she does.
If I were you, and you care about this, I would read up a little about the Japanese/Korean thing and just apologize to her in a general sense. If you and her are close, I would admit to learning about the Japanese/Korean animosity and realizing how the joke could have come off in bad taste / tone deafness, and ask if she has a lot of "han" and if it's an important cultural concept to her. It might not be.
(BTW, for your reading pleasure - http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jan/05/world/la-fg-south-korea-han-20110105)
Are you not Asian? lol
Anyway, I don't think you did anything that could be... racist? And yeah, I can see the joke there-- but it probably plays out as a little tone deaf if you're not Asian. For her, "Pacific Rim" refers to, in this context, her cultural heritage. & some people are very proud of their culture, and ESPECIALLY Korean and Japanese... well, the Japanese were fucking horrible t the Koreans, and it's burned in a lot of people's memory. Like a shared cultural hurt. If you read about it, it's terrible. They tried to basically wipe out Korean culture and replace it with Japanese culture.
So, for her, you conflating a KOREAN festival as some sort of Japanese thing is like... probably not cool. Not all Koreans are going to care, or even most, but clearly she does.
If I were you, and you care about this, I would read up a little about the Japanese/Korean thing and just apologize to her in a general sense. If you and her are close, I would admit to learning about the Japanese/Korean animosity and realizing how the joke could have come off in bad taste / tone deafness, and ask if she has a lot of "han" and if it's an important cultural concept to her. It might not be.
(BTW, for your reading pleasure - http://articles.latimes.com/2011/jan/05/world/la-fg-south-korea-han-20110105)
Yeah I'm not asian.
Thank you Pet! I'll look into this. I had known a bit about the Japanese/Korean thing but yeah I forget about it sometimes.
Edit: Also I like the title name for the AsianEra Thread! I don't know if it was you who came up with but it's a good one.
Cross cultural dating can be a minefield at times. It's not your fault by any means- sometimes these things will happen.
& thanks! The thread title wasn't my idea. OG Asian Era voted on thread titles, and that was winner by a large margin.
Well folks, I read this thread too late and she said yes to watching Blade Runner. Had no idea it was 3 hours long, hahaha. Whatever, I'm sure it'll be pretty chill regardless.
Just have some plan to hang out afterwards to get some actual interaction in.
Yeah, try to meet early and get some interaction in before the movie too.
Side note, it's three hours including trailers, etc.
If the movie is a late showing maybe you could hangout before (and after?) and get dinner or something since it is almost 3 hours. Nothing too fancy, but 2049 is long slow burn. Great film though.
People in relationships can join in. I'm in one and a few other posters are as well
I had sex last night :)
She said not to blow up her phone and think we are in a relationship after we finished. I'm cool with this. What's the take away here? Just go with it and whatever happens, happens?
She said not to blow up her phone and think we are in a relationship after we finished. I'm cool with this. What's the take away here? Just go with it and whatever happens, happens?
Well, basically, the sentiment is reflected by this poster:
In essence, my friends have told me that I need to put more effort into my first dates, especially if I'm gauging for chemistry and character.
The coffee date is usually for first impressions -- and catfish prevention for online dating -- so the alternative could be more communication prior to the date itself, rather than wasting the first date on something too low-key.
I think you should let us know everything that happens so we can know if the happening happens is still worth happening. Hard to say if we dont know the setup.
I dunno but I be blowing up girls phones when I give em the dickens too. No better way to solidify a relationship like the dickens. H8ers gon h8
So I'm told that since I'm not willing to date a smoker, my standards are too high.
So tell me, dating era. Are my standards too high?
So tell me, dating era. Are my standards too high?
At least it's straightforward instead of letting someone think the sex might have meant more. Just a little too blunt.
No. Aren't you in NYC? The rate of adult smokers isn't that high so you aren't discounting a huge portion of the population.
Although in my experience, in a lot of cases deal breakers like that exist in the abstract and not in reality.
This was from China. I think 70% of the population smokes in China.
I'm in NYC now, but I'm going back to China on Saturday. The conversation happened in China. Waaaaaaay too many people smoke in China.
Most women don't smoke in China, its seen as a mans thing to do.
I don't have any stats to back it up, but I have ran into my fair share of young women that smoke in China. That said, the conversation wasn't really about women in China, just women that smoke in general, no matter what country.
Not at all. I cannot stand smoke, it makes me sick so I would never date a smoker.
Since I landed a full-time job a few months ago, I decided to give online dating another try. So far, I've had extended conversations with four different women and I've met three of them in person
Woman #1: We had coffee (my first time having coffee ever) and chatted for about an hour. It went very well. We got to know more about each other and we talked what was happening with baseball at the time. We tried to schedule seeing each other again, but things kept getting in the way. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from her in two months. We kept messaging each other via Match so no personal emails or phone numbers were ever exchanged. Kinda sucks since we're both into baseball and it would have been nice to watch the baseball playoffs together.
Woman #2: Another coffee date (had something other than coffee this time). We talked for an hour, but it felt like I was learning more about her than she was learning about me. There was some texting back and forth after the date, but it seems there won't be a second date. I wasn't really feeling it.
Woman #3: This is the woman I haven't met yet but she's into video games and anime. We do plan on meeting each other at a big anime convention next weekend. So we'll see how it goes.
Woman #4: I've gone on three dates with this person. We've had burgers, went to see a movie, ate at a Japanese restaurant, and tried rock climbing (it was my first time doing rock climbing and her 2nd time). Hoping to see another movie with her next week but it will depend on her schedule.
It's nice to finally get some dating experience for the first time in my life.
Woman #1: We had coffee (my first time having coffee ever) and chatted for about an hour. It went very well. We got to know more about each other and we talked what was happening with baseball at the time. We tried to schedule seeing each other again, but things kept getting in the way. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from her in two months. We kept messaging each other via Match so no personal emails or phone numbers were ever exchanged. Kinda sucks since we're both into baseball and it would have been nice to watch the baseball playoffs together.
Woman #2: Another coffee date (had something other than coffee this time). We talked for an hour, but it felt like I was learning more about her than she was learning about me. There was some texting back and forth after the date, but it seems there won't be a second date. I wasn't really feeling it.
Woman #3: This is the woman I haven't met yet but she's into video games and anime. We do plan on meeting each other at a big anime convention next weekend. So we'll see how it goes.
Woman #4: I've gone on three dates with this person. We've had burgers, went to see a movie, ate at a Japanese restaurant, and tried rock climbing (it was my first time doing rock climbing and her 2nd time). Hoping to see another movie with her next week but it will depend on her schedule.
It's nice to finally get some dating experience for the first time in my life.
Considering your past history, she's telling you not to fall in love with a stripper?
A one night stand is all it was. Congrats on the sex :P
I didn't follow this thread before, but I might start doing that. Turn some stuff around. Gimme the hard truths. I need it.
I do this on a daily basis.
I'm 4 pages too late but goddamn I cracked up so hard when I saw your post lol
feels good to be home
Regardless of if anything pans out or not, this is the best way to look at dating, and exactly the attitude you should have. Good luck!
I occasionally lurked the last one and I'll probably lurk this one too. only been in this relationship for three months but my girlfriend's great and I think it'll last a while and it feels nice—especially compared to trying to make connections thru apps and shit which I found just awful, doesn't fit me at all. Best of luck to y'all out there trying
You're doing really well, just keep doing the same thing and you'l find someone for sure.
On a date again with the crazy ex. Good thing I'm celibacy, otherwise I might get nasty. Anyway, fuck my life. I should be doing other things.
Well we have been hanging out for about a month. We have gone on some dates and hung out some at her place. She also told me a story about how she dealt with this crazy guy who was her last boyfriend. He threatened to kill her o.O
She has a good job and is usually sort of busy. I'm cool if she just wants to kerp it casual like it's been. She has txted me some since. I guess ill just give her space and ask later if she wants to hang out.
Nah it's better not being too friendly / available prior to a date. You let a woman contact you first, then try to get in touch with her MAXIMUM twice afterward. If she's being not too interested, you stop contacting her altogether until she's reaching back. (the famous "ok sure, well let me know when you change your mind" after she's showing flakiness) When she (eventually) does, that's when you make plans and get on a date.
What I could suggest is to have at least two different places to go to. If you can pull off three different ones then you're killing it. Avoid lunches, try only going for evening dates so its easier to stay at your or her place after you had a good time ... in order to switch to pleasurable time ;)
Hold on is this tea date girl? Are you sure they were actually dates and not just hanging out.. outside of her place? Sounds like you have a FWB situation. If you approach it like that fine, as long as you don't catch feelings. If you want an an official girlfriend stop hanging out with her.