Sober Era? Let's Stay Sober

Subbed. Been clean for about a year and two months (on the 16th). Seriously, take it one day, or even one hour / one minute at a time. Don't hesitate to message me if you need someone to talk to, and the subreddit is really good. For me it was a disease of loneliness for sure, so keeping busy and staying around people has gotten me through this so far.

Not ready to commit, but wanted to sub to this thread for when/if I do.

Day 866 for me!

Hey Era, nice thread.

I'm an alcoholic. Have struggled with substance abuse most of my adult life. Nothing that probably falls on the 'major' scale to some people, but when you know, you know. Boxing day 2015, I finally kissed it goodbye and I've never looked back. I'm 32, married, I have a daughter, and there's no place in my life for alcohol anymore. I don't miss it, especially not the hangovers, but I never allow myself to get complacent.

Let's do another day together! When things go to shit, just stay on plan and just do one day at a time.

The only important thing is not to drink.

For people saying 'subbed', a stupid question. How do you subscribe to a thread in Era? Threads I've replied to go to Watched threads, which is nice because I can follow up that way. That list is super long, so it's not useful for subscribing to communities. Is there a proper Subscriptions system for threads in Era?

It's been close to 10 years for me. I still struggle with the temptation on a regular basis, but I believe my resolution to remain sober outweighs my need to drink.

Awesome Kev said:

I've fallen back into it over the last month. Drinking has been a huge struggle in my life for 7 or 8 years now.

I really need to put this shit down, every day I don't stay sober it gets harder to quit.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Everyday that you acknowledge your addiction is another step you take towards your eventual sobriety. It's not an easy choice, especially when you've come to be so dependent on it, but you're not alone. There are benefits to sharing in a group setting like this. There's no judgement here. Keep that in mind.

Chittagong said:

For people saying 'subbed', a stupid question. How do you subscribe to a thread in Era? Threads I've replied to go to Watched threads, which is nice because I can follow up that way. That list is super long, so it's not useful for subscribing to communities. Is there a proper Subscriptions system for threads in Era?

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

You can change your preferences so that you don't automatically "watch" threads that you merely post in, but those that you affirmatively click "watch."

In other words, you probably want to go in and delete all of those "watched" threads, because "watched" == "subbed."

Omegasquash said:

Subbed. I feel like I stay up later when I drink, and I don't like it. I also don't like that I'll tell myself "not tonight", and then have a drink or two. Or kill the bottle of wine.

I'm pretty good about eating and exercising (admittedly I could do more), but I feel like the frequency that I have a few (most nights) is holding me back, and certainly makes the day more tedious. And let's not forget: this shit'll kill you.

I'm all for checking in and helping out. More people can do more together than apart.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, this is definitely me -- at least as far as finishing the bottle of wine or staying up too late. While I actually don't get hangovers (well, that might be changing at my age?), I'm probably just laughing at science because it's gotta be objectively true that facing a day without brain poison is better than undergoing detox.

But yeah, I went out tonight for dinner with my girlfriend, and she had one glass of wine and I had two Diet Cokes. I'm sure I'll have a couple beers this weekend when my mother visits for Mother's Day, but at least I'm conditioning my body to expect tea in the evening on most nights.

Huh, so I guess something in this thread sort of triggered my subconscious and I ended up dreaming that I was out drinking. It seemed very real for a while, in fact I was really disappointed in myself when I woke up, but then I realised what had happened.

I used to get this quite often back at the start of sobriety, much less so these days.

And reading through the thread again, I noticed a few people that have tried to limit their drinking without success. This was exactly the same for me. Moderation is not something I am capable of when it comes to alcohol. All or nothing for me, and I think that's the only way to make a real break. You're mind isn't your own when you've had a few, and it's always better to just step away from the situation completely and just stay dry.

Another day, Era. Let's do another day!

I'm proud of you OP. I'm a little drunk. I'm a little disappointed in myself tbh, because I wanted to at least go a full week without drinking, and kinda fucked that up last night.

I've never really tried to be sober, but I've been trying to cut back. Weed helped me do that, as has getting older. Weed helped me more. I can't smoke it anymore though due to the fact that I'm unemployed and job searching, even in a state where it's legal. Sigh. Seriously though, good on you.

I have trouble drinking less than three times a week. Been wanting to quit, but also not, since I started. I preferred my life before.

I don't think I can give it up. I would really like to cut back to twice or once a week at least, though.

SolVanderlyn said:

I have trouble drinking less than three times a week. Been wanting to quit, but also not, since I started. I preferred my life before.

I don't think I can give it up. I would really like to cut back to twice or once a week at least, though.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, this is where I am at. Two times max would be optimal for now.

I have been a week off alcohol now on a sports camp, and don't really crave it, but I think I will have a glass or two of champagne on the flight back.

This weekend will be test. I'll be home alone because my wife is in NYC. I have no social plans, just sports, TV and God of War / Xenoblade 2. I have really no excuse to drink alone, but I have done it before, because it's nice to pop a cold beer and watch Trailer Park Boys, or pour a Macallan 18 and listen to jazz. I'm thinking of buying a six pack those new Coke Zero flavours and having them instead, as a substitute. I don't normally drink aspartame drinks, so it'd be bit of a treat.

Chittagong said:

Yeah, this is where I am at. Two times max would be optimal for now.

I have been a week off alcohol now on a sports camp, and don't really crave it, but I think I will have a glass or two of champagne on the flight back.

This weekend will be test. I'll be home alone because my wife is in NYC. I have no social plans, just sports, TV and God of War / Xenoblade 2. I have really no excuse to drink alone, but I have done it before, because it's nice to pop a cold beer and watch Trailer Park Boys, or pour a Macallan 18 and listen to jazz. I'm thinking of buying a six pack those new Coke Zero flavours and having them instead, as a substitute. I don't normally drink aspartame drinks, so it'd be bit of a treat.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I tried switching to Monster for my no-drinking days as a substitute and that stuff wrecked me. Diet Coke should be ok, but... just letting you know that energy drinks aren't a good alcohol substitute.

Anyway...

I wish you the best of luck!

GustyGardens said:

It's been close to 10 years for me. I still struggle with the temptation on a regular basis, but I believe my resolution to remain sober outweighs my need to drink.

Everyday that you acknowledge your addiction is another step you take towards your eventual sobriety. It's not an easy choice, especially when you've come to be so dependent on it, but you're not alone. There are benefits to sharing in a group setting like this. There's no judgement here. Keep that in mind.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Gn0mercy said:

You can do this. You can stop. I believe in you mate.

My path to sobriety really began when I admitted to myself, in a pure and hopeless state, that I can't control how I consume alcohol.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the support, I'm really happy to be here and have someway to write my progress down. I've never participated in anything like this on my journey to stay sober. That being said, I didn't drink last night! I'm feeling great and I'm ready to kill today! Here's to no drinking tonight. I've never tried just looking at this one day at a time but it feel less daunting and I'm hoping that can help make the difference. Thanks again guys.

Dartastic said:

I'm proud of you OP. I'm a little drunk. I'm a little disappointed in myself tbh, because I wanted to at least go a full week without drinking, and kinda fucked that up last night.

I've never really tried to be sober, but I've been trying to cut back. Weed helped me do that, as has getting older. Weed helped me more. I can't smoke it anymore though due to the fact that I'm unemployed and job searching, even in a state where it's legal. Sigh. Seriously though, good on you.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I wouldn't feel bad honestly. Alcoholism isn't getting a little drunk, its buying a couple of 6 packs for the next week, having 1 beer, and drinking the rest in one day impulsively.

I'm not looking to give up drinking altogether, but I am looking to reduce it. I hope it is ok that I post in this thread. I'm curious how people handle social situations for adults while also limited/eliminating alcohol. I'm still in the meeting new people phase of my social life since I moved in the last few years. It seems like the only way to ensure that adults will be at an activity is to go to one that includes alcohol. Whether its going to a trivia night at a restaurant or an adult night at the zoo/aquarium/garden/museum, there is always alcohol there. Any suggestions on how to find more adult-oriented activities that also aren't alcohol-oriented activities. I live in Georgia if that helps people with their suggestions...

Addie said:

Yeah, this is definitely me -- at least as far as finishing the bottle of wine or staying up too late. While I actually don't get hangovers (well, that might be changing at my age?), I'm probably just laughing at science because it's gotta be objectively true that facing a day without brain poison is better than undergoing detox.

But yeah, I went out tonight for dinner with my girlfriend, and she had one glass of wine and I had two Diet Cokes. I'm sure I'll have a couple beers this weekend when my mother visits for Mother's Day, but at least I'm conditioning my body to expect tea in the evening on most nights.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, the "hangovers" are manageable, but the days after NOT having anything are always so much more productive. Better lifts, more energy, more articulate in conversation. Put a bottle cab down my gullet and the next day is dehydration, pessimism, absolute SHIT performance exercising.

Thing is, I stand to gain so much from not doing it. I'll drop some weight and lean up some more, which is good for the summer vacation on the water. I'll have more energy and as a result be more productive at work, which directly translates into better income, I'll spend less on the stuff, I'll get more, and better quality, sleep. I'm not going to sit here and say "never again". I've got a bottle of Midleton in the back of the cabinet for special occasions, after all. My wife makes the absolute best frozen margaritas in the known universe. And an ice cold beer when I'm standing over a roaring wood fired grill is DAMN good.

But none of that is happening today. So instead of "never again", I'll keep on saying "not today".

DredPirateStorm said:

I'm not looking to give up drinking altogether, but I am looking to reduce it. I hope it is ok that I post in this thread. I'm curious how people handle social situations for adults while also limited/eliminating alcohol. I'm still in the meeting new people phase of my social life since I moved in the last few years. It seems like the only way to ensure that adults will be at an activity is to go to one that includes alcohol. Whether its going to a trivia night at a restaurant or an adult night at the zoo/aquarium/garden/museum, there is always alcohol there. Any suggestions on how to find more adult-oriented activities that also aren't alcohol-oriented activities. I live in Georgia if that helps people with their suggestions...

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I just drink slower, order club sodas along with my beers etc if I'm going to be out at a bar trivia or whatever for a few hours.

As for non-alcohol adult events, look into things like hiking groups, running groups, sports leagues etc if you're into any fitness/health type hobbies.

Omegasquash said:

Yeah, the "hangovers" are manageable, but the days after NOT having anything are always so much more productive. Better lifts, more energy, more articulate in conversation. Put a bottle cab down my gullet and the next day is dehydration, pessimism, absolute SHIT performance exercising.

Thing is, I stand to gain so much from not doing it. I'll drop some weight and lean up some more, which is good for the summer vacation on the water. I'll have more energy and as a result be more productive at work, which directly translates into better income, I'll spend less on the stuff, I'll get more, and better quality, sleep. I'm not going to sit here and say "never again". I've got a bottle of Midleton in the back of the cabinet for special occasions, after all. My wife makes the absolute best frozen margaritas in the known universe. And an ice cold beer when I'm standing over a roaring wood fired grill is DAMN good.

But none of that is happening today. So instead of "never again", I'll keep on saying "not today".

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Agreed to literally all of this. I can't recall the last time I actually made it to the gym in the morning after indulging, which is another useful data point, and thanks for hammering that home. That's probably fine for Sundays, but not the remainder of the week.

What really opened my eyes, in addition to the fucking calorie counts, was the fact that last night's dinner bill was shockingly small. Those $12 cocktails seriously add up. And I'm immune to beer specials on happy hour because I just don't like most beers. I suppose that makes me fortunate. I haven't had more than a few beers in one sitting since college, back when we were pounding Natty Lights.

Like I already said: I'm sure my girlfriend and I will indulge tomorrow when my mom's in town (it really does grease the wheels), but I can definitely say "nah, not today" because I want to be fresh for it and not be sluggish in the morning.

ODAAT (One day at a time) for sure. Exercise works wonders for me, even if my natural laziness kicks in and I go a week or two between sessions lol. Reaching out and talking to people also helps, especially when the squirrels go nuts in my brain. As long as I'm with someone who knows what I am going through I find I can go most places and be fine. Even if you end up not going through the program, AA meetings are a great place to meet people to do stuff with.

Omegasquash said:

Yeah, the "hangovers" are manageable, but the days after NOT having anything are always so much more productive. Better lifts, more energy, more articulate in conversation. Put a bottle cab down my gullet and the next day is dehydration, pessimism, absolute SHIT performance exercising.

Thing is, I stand to gain so much from not doing it. I'll drop some weight and lean up some more, which is good for the summer vacation on the water. I'll have more energy and as a result be more productive at work, which directly translates into better income, I'll spend less on the stuff, I'll get more, and better quality, sleep. I'm not going to sit here and say "never again". I've got a bottle of Midleton in the back of the cabinet for special occasions, after all. My wife makes the absolute best frozen margaritas in the known universe. And an ice cold beer when I'm standing over a roaring wood fired grill is DAMN good.

But none of that is happening today. So instead of "never again", I'll keep on saying "not today".

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

You almost described me here. I can function perfectly fine on a day after drinking, and even make a point to still get in an hour of cardio that day. But a day without the lingering effects of poison is always so much clearer and nicer to experience.

I quit drinking back in December, never was a big drinker but I came to the conclusion that I just don't like alcohol and the only reason I drank because I felt that was what society expected of me. Weed or other drugs don't appeal to me either, getting high isn't something I really want to do. I feel at my best when I'm sober and I'm happy to see a thread that discusses sober living.

SolVanderlyn said:

You almost described me here. I can function perfectly fine on a day after drinking, and even make a point to still get in an hour of cardio that day. But a day without the lingering effects of poison is always so much clearer and nicer to experience.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Interestingly enough, I'm less of a giant anxious ball of nerves about to see my mother because I woke up this morning at a decent hour and already did errands (and had coffee). I'm sure that not going out last night positively contributed to that.

For people like us, maybe it's about choosing our battles.

I'm pretty proud of myself, after my week sober on a sports bootcamp, I had a bachelor weekend ahead me at home while my wife is travelling, and I have managed to stay sober home alone.

On Friday and Saturday, I would have normally popped open a cold beer around 5PM, and then had few beers (usually tops 6 beers x 330ml per night) in the evening with TV and videogames.

It's definitely interesting. Obviously I am missing the pleasure of gulping a cold IPA and feeling the relaxing ease settle in. And I am clearly missing an habitual activity, like smokers do when they have become conditioned to have that smoking time to themselves. I did exceptionally buy a couple of aspartame Pepsi Maxes (which I usually don't consume), to give me a substitute. I will be careful to switch to San Pellegrino with lime soon.

On the positive side, the weekend seems to feel much longer. I've now noticed that alcohol has this soothing, pleasant fog descend, and the fog somehow accelerates time, and the weekend flies by. The fog also bizarrely makes me browse Era instead of playing videogames or watching shows. Fully sober, I've had good energy levels and have done sports (90 min yoga yesterday and 1.2h run and swim today), played a lot of videogames and watched Altered Carbon. Also, I've discovered that 2,000-2,500 kcal / day is shitloads when I don't need to count alcohol in.

Early days, but I do like the feeling the sober feeling too. And I like the idea of alcohol being reserved for selected occasions, and not being the default chill switch.

SpecX said:

I may join this community one day, but I'm not ready to give up the drink yet.

For me, drinking was just at social gatherings and trying to find what I enjoyed. Fast forward to now, drinking has helped with emotional pain and has become a "fun" hobby. I don't crave drinking, but I admit when I drink the goal is to get drunk and have a more enjoyable time than I would sober.

I do want to get off this wagon before it gets really bad for me. I've grown up seeing how drinking has destroyed 2 of my uncles and how bad it is for my parents relationship at this point in their life. Definitely tracking this thread and good work to you guys that have been able to stay on the road to recovery.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I am in exactly this position.

But I've only been drinking for fun for the last 3 years or so. Prior to that I drank a couple of times a year.

Will probably cut down when I or my drinking buddies decide to settle down. I'm not ready to give it up just yet.

7 months sober out of an abusive relationship that drove me to drinking. Healthier, happier, no plans of going back to that way of life.

ZOONAMI said:

I mean, it's physically impossible to be addicted to weed though and it has zero real health effects. It makes sense people kind of roll there eyes at a "weed addict."

If quitting weed is an actual problem for someone I can't even imagine how fucked up they would be if there were addicted to, you know, an actual addictive substance.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

This is a load of baloney. I vomitted for 2 days straight after stopping weed. Was it all habitual? Maybe, but when it can manifest so strong physically does it really matter? I had no similar effects after quitting booze or smokes.

Sober 2.5 years from booze, 1.5 from weed, and 1 from cigarettes.

Tried many times to stop booze unsuccessfully, drank daily for ~12 years. Hate AA. Naltrexone was the key for me. Tale 1 pill 30 mins before your first drink.

I had NEVER just had one drink before, I always drank until I was drunk. After being prescribed and taking naltrexone, the next (and last) 4 nights I drank were all 1 drink. And you don't even notice. You don't get sick. But you don't get that warm feeling that allowed me to really dive in to my first couple beers.

I'd end up with my 2nd beer half drank 3 hours into the night (prior to naltrexone id be on about beer 8 at this point). I had power over alcohol! 4 times in a row. Had never(!!!) happened before
A goddamn miracle drug. After those 4 times, and gaining control, I never touched it again and have had 0 cravings to. I still crave weed and cigarettes, but not booze, despite being a hardcore drunk most of my life.

EDIT:

Pwnz said:

For those struggling, something also worth looking into is the Sinclair Method.

I haven't done it myself, but basically the Sinclair Method involves taking an anti-opioid naltrexone 1 hour prior to planned drinking. The idea is like nicotine gum - to deassociate the addiction (sensory/effect) in the brain. However, I imagine anyone already biologically predisposed to alcoholism will swiftly redevelop alcoholism after a few months of repeated drinking.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Missed this, exactly what I did. Worked like a miracle for me. Happy to report no redeveloping at all so far. The toughest part is getting people to take it before they drink, when they know they can get the good feelings by NOT taking it. You have to want to be done, and have to take the pill. (It was prescribed to me as taking every day, but I followed Sinclair, only took 4 pills ever.)

Nicktals said:

Missed this, exactly what I did. Worked like a miracle for me. Happy to report no redeveloping at all so far. The toughest part is getting people to take it before they drink, when they know they can get the good feelings by NOT taking it. You have to want to be done, and have to take the pill. (It was prescribed to me as taking every day, but I followed Sinclair, only took 4 pills ever.)

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Where do you live nationally?

I think I have my drinking ceased successfully, but if I go on another bender I want to do the Sinclair Method. From what I've read it has a ridiculously high success rate, 72% which includes people intentionally not following directions to get drunk. My impression is that it is uncommon in the US because culturally we blame drunks for the addiction.

Pwnz said:

Where do you live nationally?

I think I have my drinking ceased successfully, but if I go on another bender I want to do the Sinclair Method. From what I've read it has a ridiculously high success rate, 72% which includes people intentionally not following directions to get drunk. My impression is that it is uncommon in the US because culturally we blame drunks for the addiction.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Yeah, I'm from the Midwest USA.

It took me reading about it, and asking a psychiatrist for it by name.

Yeah it's a real shame. I read about naltrexone on a random forum not even focused on recovery. Never heard a single mention of it in 10 years of courts and treatments.

I don't know why it isn't more common. AA has an abysmal success rate, yet gets mandated in courts, yet a medication with a stupidly high success rate is virtually unheard of here, even among addiction specialists and health professionals.

My experience with it really was crazy. Booze dominated my life, and was highly compulsive. But one pill later and I forget that there's a delicious beer sitting in front if me? Miracle pill is truly the only way to explain my experience.

And once that compulsion was broken, I felt a sense of power over it, and don't care to risk ever having another. Not having any compulsion certainly helps. And once I stopped drinking, quitting cigarettes and weed were much easier.

So glad someone made this. I don't think anyone was brave enough to one the old forum.

My current success with sobriety required (in order of importance) (1) an intensensive outpatient program, (2) recovery meetings, and (3) /r/stopdrinking

I think there are a lot of power in the steps, and for me it actually involved me finally "coming out" to my parents that I was not Christian and finding peace in evolution and the Big Bang. So truly, don't write it off because of the God stuff. When they say spiritual, it doesn't have to be a theistic religion.

I still go to meetings and use /r/drinking, bit I also found this group on Facebook I really like. https://m.facebook.com/groups/soulpoweredrecovery

Nicktals said:

Yeah, I'm from the Midwest USA.

It took me reading about it, and asking a psychiatrist for it by name.

Yeah it's a real shame. I read about naltrexone on a random forum not even focused on recovery. Never heard a single mention of it in 10 years of courts and treatments.

I don't know why it isn't more common. AA has an abysmal success rate, yet gets mandated in courts, yet a medication with a stupidly high success rate is virtually unheard of here, even among addiction specialists and health professionals.

My experience with it really was crazy. Booze dominated my life, and was highly compulsive. But one pill later and I forget that there's a delicious beer sitting in front if me? Miracle pill is truly the only way to explain my experience.

And once that compulsion was broken, I felt a sense of power over it, and don't care to risk ever having another. Not having any compulsion certainly helps. And once I stopped drinking, quitting cigarettes and weed were much easier.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I'm in the Austin area, and prior to AA I asked both a doctor and AA members with decades of sobriety, nobody heard of it. If there were a pill as successful with obesity, the obesity epidemic will rage on if this is any indication because we are more bootstraps and less Scientific.

I'm not stopping forever, but recently decided I'd take one month off after I realised I was drinking something almost every day with friends or sometimes alone. One thing that really irked me was in a WetherSpoons the other night (UK Pub chain) I was there for a friend's birthday gathering, and remained sober all night (San Pellegrino is a saviour). I went to order myself a second drink and the barman looked at me like I was some sort of asshole for not drinking; I ordered two tequila shots for my friend afterwards and suddenly he goes "Now that's more like it mate!". It's hard enough not drinking around friends who make jokes about it and all without strangers essentially encouraging me to drink without knowing why I wasn't in the first place.

Stopped drinking three years ago. Family history of alcoholism (about 4 or 5 lives cut short due to it; plus another 3 or 4 ruined, including my father's).

I have two children now, 3 and 5, and I'm doing it for them.

That said, in January, pot become legal recreationally in California and I've been doing edibles for various reasons (pain relief, stress relief, sleeping aid) and i couldn't be more fortunate.

I began drinking when I got married as I'd stopped smoking pot. 11 years later I was walking a fine line between heavy social drinker and alcoholism. Like I said, my children are the main reason i stopped drinking.

No hangovers, no worries about my liver, some saved money as well.. it's been a solid the years. Also didn't want my children growing up thinking a drunk dad is a normal thing as was the case for me growing up.

My doses of pot are small and more for relaxing. Not for getting tore up.

Update: I went 4 days without drinking!!

Proud of myself! Taking it one day at a time seemed to help. Not thinking about never drinking again or the "one last time" though really helped me over come my cravings. I was exhausted the first two days, had to take multiple naps and I am not a nap taker. But now I'm starting to feel clean and energized again. Just came back from the gym, did my grocery shopping for the week, planned out all the things I'm gonna accomplish now that I have the time and money and getting pumped about getting back into my productive routine. It's really a great feeling. Being sober is the best.

It's amazing though, because I know at some point I'm going to get weak and forget about all this positivity, which is why I'm here receive some support when that happens, and hopefully give a little along the way.

I always feel the beginning is the easiest so I'm going to keep at this, keep my guard up, and just take this one step at a time.

To the rest of Sober Era still trying to make it that one day: you can do it! Don't think about tomorrow or a year from now, just get one day under your belt.

Thanks for all the support. I'm going to keep updating every once in a while and offering words of support wherever I can.

Great idea for a thread. Me and my wife have been sober for 339 days according to my badge on r/stopdrinking. First year anniversary is coming up soon. The biggest positive factors I see are : health (no more dizziness, better digestion, more energy, better sleep, etc.), money (alcohol was about $5K a year for the both of us) and cleaner head for my child (I'm more inclined to go outside, to be creative).

Here's my story :
- me and my friends drank a lot at parties in my early twenties
- I then got into a habit of drinking a 960ml can of beer with peanuts or chips every other day after my part-time job
- this continued to pretty much everyday and then it was a six-pack or a 4-pack of those tall cans
- then I met my wife and since we had alcohol as a common ''interest'', we continued to drink about 3-8 units almost everyday (but now with wine and beer mixed up)
- we had our son 5 years ago and while we stopped or geatly reduced in the beggining, it came back up to 6-8 units almost daily,
- it started affecting our health and while we tried tapering a lot of times, it was never fulfilling enough
- my wife once told me she wanted to quit, but I wasn't ready, so I basically became her enabler for another year
- in the end I had enough so I bought the book Strop Drinking Now by Allen Carr, I read it, followed the 'instructions' and haven't had a drink since

I realize I was drikning due to boredome and out of habit. It was actually easier to stop than to taper, because when you drink, even a little, someone like me always has alcohol on his mind. Once you take the alcohol option out of the equation, you're essentially ''free''.

I get tougher days where I feel left out of the social aspect of drinking, and that triggers me a little, but I never wish I still drank for real. I don't envy it. I don't want it. I'm lucky for that I guess. So in a way, even if I drank almost daily for 14 years, stopping was pretty easy for me.

The subreddit really helped, and the Allen Carr book as well (even if in the end it's a pretty simple self help book).

Good luck everyone!

Ça fait un an pour moi.

I went sober for about two weeks to kind of reset my system. I was drinking way too much on a regular or semi-regular basis, having a few beers (at least) every night. Trying to cut it down to drinking once or twice a week, only a glass of wine or beer per time. The two weeks off has actually done a great job at helping me regulate this.

cbf123 said:

Huh, so I guess something in this thread sort of triggered my subconscious and I ended up dreaming that I was out drinking. It seemed very real for a while, in fact I was really disappointed in myself when I woke up, but then I realised what had happened.

I used to get this quite often back at the start of sobriety, much less so these days.

And reading through the thread again, I noticed a few people that have tried to limit their drinking without success. This was exactly the same for me. Moderation is not something I am capable of when it comes to alcohol. All or nothing for me, and I think that's the only way to make a real break. You're mind isn't your own when you've had a few, and it's always better to just step away from the situation completely and just stay dry.

Another day, Era. Let's do another day!

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I used to wonder why I had so many alcoholic friends. The answer was obvious now that I think about it: because alcoholics like their own kind.

Angry Grimace said:

I used to wonder why I had so many alcoholic friends. The answer was obvious now that I think about it: because alcoholics like their own kind.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

I once had to cut off a 14 year long friendship with a guy who was one of my best friends because he wouldn't cut back his drinking. We lived together, morning drank together, blacked out together, everything. We leached off each other in a way. I knew his drinking career was just as miserable as mine and vice versa. We were the only people we could stand to be around without feeling utter shame for how much of a mess we were.

When things really started to get out of control, I cut back and he didn't. Eventually I had to walk away. It hurt but it was a positive step in the right direction for me. I still struggle with drinking of course, I always will, but not being around my drinking buddy helped me get off the bottle.

I know it's hard but distancing ourselves from triggers might mean walking away from friends, sometimes only for a while, sometimes forever. Sobriety isn't cheap, we will have to be willing to pay the price of the ticket in order to achieve the life we truly desire. I'm not sure if this qualifies as advice or support but I just wanted to say I think you're absolutely right about alcoholics wanting to be around their own kind. But I think in order for us to stay sober it's important we surround ourselves with other positive minded, sober individuals... not individuals who reflect our misery right back at us.

Good luck Sober Era! Hope everyone is staying safe and enjoying life!

DredPirateStorm said:

I'm not looking to give up drinking altogether, but I am looking to reduce it. I hope it is ok that I post in this thread. I'm curious how people handle social situations for adults while also limited/eliminating alcohol. I'm still in the meeting new people phase of my social life since I moved in the last few years. It seems like the only way to ensure that adults will be at an activity is to go to one that includes alcohol. Whether its going to a trivia night at a restaurant or an adult night at the zoo/aquarium/garden/museum, there is always alcohol there. Any suggestions on how to find more adult-oriented activities that also aren't alcohol-oriented activities. I live in Georgia if that helps people with their suggestions...

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Ugh, I feel you. Sometimes I wish drugs were treated like sex: I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own home, just don't bring it out in public!

I'm genuinely not sure if I'd be sober if it weren't for Destiny-era, honestly. I've been focusing on online relationships in general, plus stuff with family and friends that already know about the importance of sobriety. Getting involved in online gaming - and not just logging on a bit, but joining a guild or whatever, getting to know people, that sort of thing - can really help if you need to fill the time or do something fun. It's particularly nice because it's... I mean, things that are designated as sober events can be kind of dour and depressing, honestly. But online gaming is a space that can still be joyful and fun and unrestricted while booze just doesn't come up!

There's nerdy options in real-life, too. Board games, pnp roleplaying games, card games, all that jazz tends not to be very booze heavy.

Ah, this one isn't for everyone, but most alternative sexuality events prohibit booze, including just about everything in the BDSM community.

Is there any way to make this thread a regular in the Hangouts?

I have been struggling for a while and only recently just came out and admitted I am an alcoholic to my family, but I don't feel like they are really the right people to talk to because they don't "get it," if you know what I mean.

Nice, sober thread.

I'm currently 1 month sober, longest I did was ~3 months a couple of years ago. I don't really have a plan for how long this will go on, I take it day by day. Ideally I'll stay sober for the rest of my life, but I'm unsure as that seems pretty dull to me.

The problems alcohol would cause - other than obvious health problems - would be me calling in sick to work because of a hangover (especially now that I'm not in my early 20s anymore), wasting a shitload of money on it leading economic problems such as debt, and the random "drunk mistakes" that pop up every now and then (most bad memories and mistakes in my life are related to alcohol).

I'm slightly worried about going on a solo vacation in about 1-2 months, since I know it'll be very very VERY tempting to grab a few beers when visiting other countries and cities. My interest for photography has popped up again recently so I hope I'll be able to focus more on that... like feeling it's worth going to bed early in order to wake up early to catch some nice photos, instead of having some beers in the evening breeze.

Following.

I've been "functional" for years but I don't like what it does to my body and my mental state. Longest break in years was maybe a week or two. This weekend wasn't great for me so this thread is exactly what I need

Angry Grimace said:

Is there any way to make this thread a regular in the Hangouts?

I have been struggling for a while and only recently just came out and admitted I am an alcoholic to my family, but I don't feel like they are really the right people to talk to because they don't "get it," if you know what I mean.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

This is a good idea

I saw the blackout thread and wanted people to remember that this thread exists for those who want to talk or vent.

I read the first 10 posts just to make sure that the following will fit; I'm working going zero mg nicotine in my vape. Yeah I know, it isn't that big, but I want anyone else who vapes and wants to cut down to know how I'm going about it. Its stepping down in .5mg (.005%) increments and trying to stay at least 5 days on each level. You'll get withdraw on certain drop's but you'll be able to manage. I started at 3mg the first week of may and just today I've moved to .5mg. The headache is real today.

Of course, the real challenge will come next month but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

jkm23 said:

I read the first 10 posts just to make sure that the following will fit; I'm working going zero mg nicotine in my vape. Yeah I know, it isn't that big, but I want anyone else who vapes and wants to cut down to know how I'm going about it. Its stepping down in .5mg (.005%) increments and trying to stay at least 5 days on each level. You'll get withdraw on certain drop's but you'll be able to manage. I started at 3mg the first week of may and just today I've moved to .5mg. The headache is real today.

Of course, the real challenge will come next month but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

Congrats! Yeah, when I quit smoking and dropped levels I would switch nicotine intake methods. For example, when I switched to nicotine free vape, I used the lightest nicotine gum I could find for 2 days. I wasn't used to it and didn't like it much, so it was easy to drop, but helped get me over the physical and mental barrier that came with the 0mg switch.

I co-sign making this a regular thread in Hangouts, fwiw.

I'm about 380 days sober, but I feel like this has been tougher in the last 2-3 months. I mean, I don't really want to drink, and I know I won't drink in fact. But yeah... I guess I think more about alcohol, about me not having it, about its place in society, even its place in entertainment.

I never went to AA since I have been doing this on my own for over a year. Do you think it might help? I feel it's weird going after a year of sobriety... I don't know.

Metalgus said:

I'm about 380 days sober, but I feel like this has been tougher in the last 2-3 months. I mean, I don't really want to drink, and I know I won't drink in fact. But yeah... I guess I think more about alcohol, about me not having it, about its place in society, even its place in entertainment.

I never went to AA since I have been doing this on my own for over a year. Do you think it might help? I feel it's weird going after a year of sobriety... I don't know.

Click to expand...

Click to shrink...

One of the benefits of going to AA is being surrounded by people going through the same struggles. It gives a sense of universality, that you're not alone. It doesn't hurt to give it a try. Feel free to share these thoughts there and you'll probably find a ton of people feeling the same way or similarly. Not only might you get help from others but you might be able to help others as well. 380 days is a lot dude. Congrats.