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I can sympathize with this, about a year ago I tried online dating for the first time after ending a (quite long) relationship. I also was kind of surprised by the amount of attention I got since before my ex I hadn't had a ton of luck with girls. All that positive attention can be intoxicating, but it does make you more likely to write people off or want to be very casual with everyone because you think someone even better could be just around the corner and you want to keep your options open. Sounds like you are eluding to feeling this way.
My advice to you would be to wait until you (hopefully) meet someone who doesn't make you feel like you need to keep your eyes open for what other options are out there. I met the girl I'm dating now through online dating and never had any of those feelings around her finally. She made me happy and was fun to be around, why would I want to be looking for someone else? So when things started to move quickly and she expressed that she wanted to date it didn't scare me. In response to your situation with the Indian girl, how newly single you are is definitely impacting your feelings but at the same time it was probably just not meant to be if you are already lukewarm and think it's moving too fast. Better to just accept that you don't want to spend time with someone rather than trying to convince yourself that you should want to. One day you will meet someone who you don't need to rationalize being around :)
How so? I mean, sure, but I've only dated in and around Southern California, so I have no frame of reference as to what it's like compared to elsewhere.
Though I do tend to connect better with women who are transplant from elsewhere rather than women born & bred in So.Cal.
Welp, I broke up with someone who I've been in a year long relationship with. It ended pretty badly, and I feel like shit. She was the sweetest girl I ever dated, but it had to be done, otherwise it would hurt worse the longer it lasted. Still, feels bad, man. :(
I think the last one is best for a date. Polo one is good, too. Not a fan of the sweater.Wear your best-fitting collared shirt and pants. A t-shirt is acceptable, but only if the place you're going to is super duper casual and the tee is clean, fits well, and is plain or has a very simple pattern (like stripes or dots). No graphic tees whatsoever. Chinos are ideal, but clean dark wash jeans are good. Avoid garish running sneakers and flip-flops and opt for a simple casual leather shoe..
Disclaimer: these pics are my fit pics. Of course, you don't have to go as skinny in legwear as I do, but make sure your pants don't fit like trash bags on your legs and are the right length. The most important thing is to look as if you've put some effort into yourself. Adjust layers accordingly based on weather.
Break ups suck man. They've been the best and worst things to happen to me. You'll bounce back. Yeah, ending it sooner rather than later is always good. No point dragging shit on if it needs to be done. Head up mang.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. For anyone wanting fashion tips: get a nice tailored dress shirt. I wore one at work today because I have a concert tonight and have had numerous unsolicited compliments just like that. It doesn't even have to be a fancy/expensive/brand, but get it tailored to fit you well.
Quick but long question with a minor recap: I've been seeing my best friend since we both had sex in March. It was something that's been in the works in the works for a while (according to her), and I finally made the move. We've been friends since HS so a little over 10yrs and both our families are pretty close (I think they're getting suspicious lol), we both just got out relationships (mine 1yr, hers on and off 9yrs), and we both have agreed to no exclusivity and that it's too soon to get serious.
We've been going on some dates since then, and they've all been great. The other day I took her to Orlando and I took her shopping at one of her favorite furniture stores, then stayed at her house a couple of days. Like every other date we go on, pure fireworks, we love each others company and genuinely make each other happy. The sex is amazing and extremely passionate, we cannot keep our hands of each other for the life of us. Our chemistry is also booming... But yeah, I guess 10yrs of knowing each other does that.
Now here's the kicker: she was cheated on, so she is still recovering from that and deals with anxiety every other day. I am getting in the habit of giving her space and not taking it personally, while also not attributing every negative emotion to anxiety and not excusing any shitty behavior because of it. Recently, she has been having anxiety, and recently I found out why. We were having sex and she asked me not to freakout and just dropped that she thinks she's falling in love with me. She said she's been wanting to tell me for a while, and was freaking out over it.
I wanted to reciprocate the feelings but now I'm having anxiety over dealing with whether or not it's real or not. She told me that I've always been her, "what if guy" but I'm not sure how to handle all this. I care for her deeply and I've always had a thing for her. But she said she still has a lot of stuff she wants to do on her own like travel and whatnot. She also agreed even after saying she thinks she might love me that it's too soon to get serious. My break up was in February, hers in September or October of last year.
So should I stay on course? I don't want to rush things, but this is such a weird case that I don't know how to approach it.
We've been going on some dates since then, and they've all been great. The other day I took her to Orlando and I took her shopping at one of her favorite furniture stores, then stayed at her house a couple of days. Like every other date we go on, pure fireworks, we love each others company and genuinely make each other happy. The sex is amazing and extremely passionate, we cannot keep our hands of each other for the life of us. Our chemistry is also booming... But yeah, I guess 10yrs of knowing each other does that.
Now here's the kicker: she was cheated on, so she is still recovering from that and deals with anxiety every other day. I am getting in the habit of giving her space and not taking it personally, while also not attributing every negative emotion to anxiety and not excusing any shitty behavior because of it. Recently, she has been having anxiety, and recently I found out why. We were having sex and she asked me not to freakout and just dropped that she thinks she's falling in love with me. She said she's been wanting to tell me for a while, and was freaking out over it.
I wanted to reciprocate the feelings but now I'm having anxiety over dealing with whether or not it's real or not. She told me that I've always been her, "what if guy" but I'm not sure how to handle all this. I care for her deeply and I've always had a thing for her. But she said she still has a lot of stuff she wants to do on her own like travel and whatnot. She also agreed even after saying she thinks she might love me that it's too soon to get serious. My break up was in February, hers in September or October of last year.
So should I stay on course? I don't want to rush things, but this is such a weird case that I don't know how to approach it.
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People meet each other when they're already in relationships all the time, so it's no surprise there's been some on and off "what ifs" between you two.
It sounds like you both are worried about getting hurt again so you set up "boundaries' like non exclusivity and the like, and y'all actually like each other after some casual dating.
Don't overthink it. You're both having fun, you've got some chemistry, keep at it.
If you really feel like being exclusive, let her know. If it's not the time, it's not the time.
But then you'll know at least and then you'll be ready to temper your expectations moving forward.
Yeah, then there's the whole rebound thing which had us both overthinking. I think I'm just gonna ask her where she's at next time I see her then go from there.
Thanks for the advice.
Hello guys,
3 weeks ago I got matched with a girl online, and we messaged for a week, went on our first date (Starbucks date). It was great and enjoyed our time. Now obviously didn't get my hopes up at all until I got the second date.
And I got the second date last Saturday. It was a Infinity War & Bowling date (with us having a quick bite at McDonalds inbetween). She also had a great time, no signs of her being upset or whatever during the date.
So far so good. Then because it's bank holiday weekend, most people have Monday off so I was asking her we should go to a park. She said she already had plans with her friends. Fair enough, she does have a life after all.
Then the past 3 days, I noticed she is not responding as she used to, it's like now down to 1 message per day. Which is also fine by me but it's not like I haven't noticed.
I asked her out again for this weekend, she said she is babysitting all weekend as her cousin (and her husband) are going to a wedding (that's probably far away). She thanked me for the invite though.
Is she beginning to lose interest in me, or I'm overreacting/overthinking a little here?
3 weeks ago I got matched with a girl online, and we messaged for a week, went on our first date (Starbucks date). It was great and enjoyed our time. Now obviously didn't get my hopes up at all until I got the second date.
And I got the second date last Saturday. It was a Infinity War & Bowling date (with us having a quick bite at McDonalds inbetween). She also had a great time, no signs of her being upset or whatever during the date.
So far so good. Then because it's bank holiday weekend, most people have Monday off so I was asking her we should go to a park. She said she already had plans with her friends. Fair enough, she does have a life after all.
Then the past 3 days, I noticed she is not responding as she used to, it's like now down to 1 message per day. Which is also fine by me but it's not like I haven't noticed.
I asked her out again for this weekend, she said she is babysitting all weekend as her cousin (and her husband) are going to a wedding (that's probably far away). She thanked me for the invite though.
Is she beginning to lose interest in me, or I'm overreacting/overthinking a little here?
It's over, she's slowly ghosting you and not offering alternative times/dates to your offered dates. Move onto the next girl.
Just got dumped :(. Only been dating this girl for one month but i really, really like her. Talked everyday, and had dinner/socialized/sex 4 times a week with her. She gave me the, 'you are a great guy but i just don't have those feelings for you'. Came out of nowhere...
I'm really sorry - that sucks and there's no other way to put it. You can't do anything about it, other than give yourself a week or two if you need it and then get back out there.
It's never fun learning that your feelings aren't reciprocated but that's just how it goes sometimes.
A girl asked for my dog's number. (She's a corgi and gets a ridiculous amount of attention)
I laughed it off and left.
Send help
I laughed it off and left.
Send help
Fucking hell. I'm sorry to hear that dude, it's never easy but a lot of us have been there. It's hard to see it now, but you'll bounce back from it, and learn.
I mean, i've been dumped before but this was fucking weird.
Friday: We spent time together after work and i spend the night over at her place.
Sunday: We go out running, eat lunch in the sun. Having a lovely time.
Monday: We talk over the phone and i propose that we go out and eat on saturday since we've been dating for one month. She thinks it's a great idéa and she books a place.
Tuesday-Thursday: She's having a friend from out of town over. So we can't meet up.
Friday: She makes 'the call' to me on the morning. Telling me it wouldn't be fair too me to wait to have this talk on the restaurant Saturday night.
And all days up until Wednesday we keep in touch on messenger.
Friday: We spent time together after work and i spend the night over at her place.
Sunday: We go out running, eat lunch in the sun. Having a lovely time.
Monday: We talk over the phone and i propose that we go out and eat on saturday since we've been dating for one month. She thinks it's a great idéa and she books a place.
Tuesday-Thursday: She's having a friend from out of town over. So we can't meet up.
Friday: She makes 'the call' to me on the morning. Telling me it wouldn't be fair too me to wait to have this talk on the restaurant Saturday night.
And all days up until Wednesday we keep in touch on messenger.
Someone she likes better than you made a move between Tuesday-Thursday. A month of dating probably wasn't long enough for the two of you to build a strong enough bond to endure it.
Yeah, this is probably it.
By the way, thanks for the support ERA. It's really great to be able to get this of my chest.
that friend gave her advice and any little thing she had wiggling in the back of her apple had more of an effect. Its probably not you. You might have been too available. Oh well. Back into the grind to pull out another fancy. you got this.
I started the process of creating a new profile the other night, but couldn't come up with a good name. I'm still trying to think of one.
I haven't dated, or done any online dating since February.
I haven't dated, or done any online dating since February.
That moment when you match with the hottest girl... yikes. It's like too much.
Be cool Peltz, be cool.
Be cool Peltz, be cool.
It happens to all of us man. It sucks, but there's nothing you can do.
Just take it respectfully, process the disappointment and be around people who care about you.
Just remember, you're not alone. Everyone gets dumped.
How old are you two? Early 20s?
My baseless suspicion is that she will reach out to you again after her new thing combusts, but you shouldn't fall for it.
Don't.
Hang out, have fun, and hookup. Let her go at her own pace and she's starting to fall for you. Don't muddy the waters with relationship talk.
There is the possibility you are the bridge to her moving onto another relationship. Personally, I would keep my options open and be out there looking for someone else.
Yep, you need help unless you weren't interested in her
Too much too fast at the beginning(4 times a week and constantly chatting on messenger).
Slow it down next time with another woman.
I agree. But 4 times a week was mostly on her so i figured i would not pump the brakes since i really liked her.
I don't have any game
I was married to the girl I was with in high school for 10 years
*shrug*
I would have still pulled the brakes, turned her down, and done other things.
16 get togethers in one month is a lot at the beginning.
It's all right. You've dated before, you can do it again.
Maybe you'll see her again and offer your dogs phone # i.e. yours
Only you can decide that. Personally, I'd hop right back on the horse and start to date again.
Don't jump back into dating until you legitimately feel excited about the prospect of meeting someone. If you feel empty, you're not ready.
You should date from a place of abundance not emptiness if that makes sense. Get out there and socialize in a platonic way.
I've been really back and forth on how to approach this, but I'm just gonna do what you said and ride this wave instead of hinging on relationship insecurities that stem from overthinking (I'm aware we're not official). I don't want to fuck up a good thing, and at the moment she trusts my word when I tell her things are ok with us. She's already said she can see a future with me, but she's just not ready, and we've had to pump the brakes before. But every time we see each other, it's like nothing ever stopped. We see each other about once a week or every other week now, and it really does make the time we spend together amazing.
I had a mini freak out when she told me she's falling for me because it has been about 7 months since she was cheated on, and that was a 9yrish relationship. So I kept wondering if it was real or not, but I'm slowly realizing how much I might actually mean to her (I think). But I guess being in her position makes it a little harder to show that or openly express it often. I'm just not sure if there's a timetable on these things, and it's tricky because I've known her for so long and boundaries are hard to set. At the same time, it's pretty awesome seeing your best friend when things click. I'm trying to my best to tame expectations, so please, wish me the best.
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I'm assuming loss of virginity, GF, or both
This is a little embarrassing but I was banned on tinder for no apparent reason. I've always been respectful and never tried to monetize.
Got an error A:40303 and if I try making a new Facebook, I'm blocked within a matter of hours. Honestly sort of bummed.
Anyone else had this experience? Would I need to wait until I have a new phone to start a new account? Or would they somehow still track me down and block me?
Got an error A:40303 and if I try making a new Facebook, I'm blocked within a matter of hours. Honestly sort of bummed.
Anyone else had this experience? Would I need to wait until I have a new phone to start a new account? Or would they somehow still track me down and block me?
It just hasn't happened yet. Get ready.
I need some perspective on dating a girl who doesn't just have a full time job, but just started the last quarter of her masters program which involves an intensive project taking up whatever time she's in class or at work. I've dated girls in school, but not while they had full time jobs, and the moms I've dated, while they couldn't hang out when they had their kids, they could hang out the most of the nights they didn't. This seems more intense than either of those OR, she's just making excuses. But she does always respond, and our mutual friend does tell me that she's still into me. So I guess my question would be to those that have dated people who have had full time jobs and intense class schedules - is it possible to make time to hang out, or not at all? I'm just asking for perspective, so I can adjust my expectations.
I'm married, we've been together since I was 15, married 12 years and together 19.