I agree that incel is not new. The name is new to most people, but the core consequence of incels = being hurt and afraid of women, making them want to hurt women, goes back thousands of years. There are many people who've gone into lengths about how our marriage institutions, religions, traditions where created to oppress women(particularly sexually) and keep them from being able to hurt men in authority. From a point of view where a woman is not free, she can not break a mans heart. She is property, and if she strays she can be beaten, stoned, raped or killed. Or all four. Men are terrified of women. For all their superior strength through masculinity, a woman hurting a man seems to be that forever kryptonite that just breaks some men.
I think it's true what LegendofJoe said about that everyone needs to learn to handle rejection better. But it's not only that- Also, being proactive when things are not going your way. I'd bet that a considerable amount of people on resetera have had a tough years where they didn't felt like they had anything to offer to the opposite sex- It's not like incels are unique in their struggles. What makes these people different is that they decide to embrace self loathing and hate instead of picking themselves up and improving.
From where I am standing, there is a big overlap between between incels, racists, alt-right, neo-nazis and bigots in general. All of these groups have in common in that they seem to recruit pissed off men who didn't get laid, who've lost the social game. I've not seen a single bigot who seemed like he had a lot of shit going on. I don't believe that these people would be like that if they had a good life- good relationships, friendships, careers. There aren't any nazis who need to make a decision if they're going to do a spar yoga vacation in new zealand with their beautiful wife or go harras some minorities. These people are this way because their lives suck, and I think that's exactly the same parameters with incels. These people have lives that suck, and instead of crawling out of that hole, they just suck themselves deeper into it by going into these terrible communities.
I read this article on psychology today about the mental state of young men who let themselves be recruited as suicide bombers- Apparantly, many of these men have never had sex and/or are sexually oppressed, to the point where they are walking around irrational and almost constantly angry and aggressive. They meet a recruiter who convinces them that they'll get 72 virgins in heaven if they kill a bunch of innocent people. A normal well adjusted mind can discern that it's bullshit, but for someone who is so irrational and broken, logic goes out the window.
That is also how Elliot Rogers operated. And I am sure that if you study other mass murderes you can find a pattern- Not with all of them (I recall the columbine shooters being described as popular jocks who had girlfriends and a lot of things going on) but probably quite a few.
Millenials grew up with participation trophies for everyone, and while the intention is good, I think this generation sort of lost the moral lesson of owning up and overcoming that feeling of when you suck. When you're the worst. When you're the ugliest. When you're last. That's just how it is sometimes. If you still get a medal for being last, if you still get included for being last, how are you going to learn what true pain feels like? You'll grow up and you've not been probably armored to handle the disappointments. People say entitlement, and that's true- But there is something systemically wrong with the way kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s where told they could be anything and that they could be entitled for anything.
Finally, it cannot be said enough- Toxic masculinity as far as incels (and other terrible groups) believing that the mark of a true man is someone who women desire. Like women are not people, but just a barometer for success. You're only a real man if you pull female interest. Much more cultural effort from entertainment in particularly needs to help redefine this codex. Masculinity is a total slave to its need to get attention from women as a sign of worth. It's just one of those paradigms that hurt both men and women. :(
I think it's true what LegendofJoe said about that everyone needs to learn to handle rejection better. But it's not only that- Also, being proactive when things are not going your way. I'd bet that a considerable amount of people on resetera have had a tough years where they didn't felt like they had anything to offer to the opposite sex- It's not like incels are unique in their struggles. What makes these people different is that they decide to embrace self loathing and hate instead of picking themselves up and improving.
From where I am standing, there is a big overlap between between incels, racists, alt-right, neo-nazis and bigots in general. All of these groups have in common in that they seem to recruit pissed off men who didn't get laid, who've lost the social game. I've not seen a single bigot who seemed like he had a lot of shit going on. I don't believe that these people would be like that if they had a good life- good relationships, friendships, careers. There aren't any nazis who need to make a decision if they're going to do a spar yoga vacation in new zealand with their beautiful wife or go harras some minorities. These people are this way because their lives suck, and I think that's exactly the same parameters with incels. These people have lives that suck, and instead of crawling out of that hole, they just suck themselves deeper into it by going into these terrible communities.
I read this article on psychology today about the mental state of young men who let themselves be recruited as suicide bombers- Apparantly, many of these men have never had sex and/or are sexually oppressed, to the point where they are walking around irrational and almost constantly angry and aggressive. They meet a recruiter who convinces them that they'll get 72 virgins in heaven if they kill a bunch of innocent people. A normal well adjusted mind can discern that it's bullshit, but for someone who is so irrational and broken, logic goes out the window.
That is also how Elliot Rogers operated. And I am sure that if you study other mass murderes you can find a pattern- Not with all of them (I recall the columbine shooters being described as popular jocks who had girlfriends and a lot of things going on) but probably quite a few.
Millenials grew up with participation trophies for everyone, and while the intention is good, I think this generation sort of lost the moral lesson of owning up and overcoming that feeling of when you suck. When you're the worst. When you're the ugliest. When you're last. That's just how it is sometimes. If you still get a medal for being last, if you still get included for being last, how are you going to learn what true pain feels like? You'll grow up and you've not been probably armored to handle the disappointments. People say entitlement, and that's true- But there is something systemically wrong with the way kids who grew up in the 80s and 90s where told they could be anything and that they could be entitled for anything.
Finally, it cannot be said enough- Toxic masculinity as far as incels (and other terrible groups) believing that the mark of a true man is someone who women desire. Like women are not people, but just a barometer for success. You're only a real man if you pull female interest. Much more cultural effort from entertainment in particularly needs to help redefine this codex. Masculinity is a total slave to its need to get attention from women as a sign of worth. It's just one of those paradigms that hurt both men and women. :(
