So I've been lightly flirting with a coworker I work closely with for months, and when we were talking a couple weeks ago she abruptly changed the convo to be about how she was single and looking for a guy. I took that as a hint that she wanted me to ask her out, and since she was also changing to a new position in the company soon where we wouldn't work together anymore, I sent her a text inviting her to a museum. She said she was busy, but sent a bunch of followup messages about the museum, so I wasn't sure what to make of that (I was expecting "yes," "I'm busy, but here's another time that works" or "no"). So I tried again a days later, and didn't get a reply until the next morning (even my dumb ass knows that's a hard no).
So like, I was kinda bummed, and probably awkward for a couple days. We had been working together for months, and always traded a ton of jokes/mems over email every day, and one of us would stop by the other's desk to shoot the shit for like 30 minutes pretty much every day. I wasn't sure how to make things be the least awkward, so I kept sending jokes and pretending like nothing happened. She stopped responding to most of my jokes and emails, and she started glaring at me the few times I tried going to her desk to ask about something I was working on for her.
So like, I'm pretty sure I'm being ghosted, and I just don't know the least awkward way to let myself be ghosted by someone who's contacting me every day. Her emails keep switching between overly formal, short and terse, or jokey and full of smiley faces and winking faces (she uses them at the end of sarcastic sentences, like "I'm sure you'll love working on this ;)" ). I'm afraid that if I just stop joking around, she'll think she's hurt my feelings and feel guilty. But she's definitely stopped responding to most of my jokes, so I really don't want to keep replying with them because it seems like she's not amused by them anymore, and it's kinda disheartening to not get replies to them. It's really stressing me out, because I have to email her pretty much every day.
She's come over to my desk twice since all this started, and both times just joked around with me like nothing was going on. The first time I was like "cool, everything's all good again," and then I went over to her desk a few days later to ask about something and I got a death glare again the entire time I was talking to her. It's exhausting. I've spent weeks worrying that she was going to complain to HR because I've made things awkward and she doesn't want to work in this environment, and our annual performance review was going on during this whole time so I was worried I was going to get a talking to from my boss about how I've been acting.
I haven't texted her at all since I got turned down, and I don't think I've said or done anything scandalous or inappropriate. I don't use facebook/etc. so we aren't friends on there. It's just I have no idea what the emailing etiquette should be and it's super stressful trying to figure out how let myself be gracefully ghosted by someone I'm in contact with every day. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice until the company hires a replacement and she completely transitions out of her old role.
So like, basic questions are: am I the asshole? And how the fuck should I reply to her emails with out being an asshole? I've started just doing super short replies when possible like "Here's the attachment!" or "Thanks, that's updated now!", etc. or otherwise just casual "Hey I'm confused on this thing you sent because of X,Y, Z, can you look into that?" and cut out all jokes, is that the right approach?
So like, I was kinda bummed, and probably awkward for a couple days. We had been working together for months, and always traded a ton of jokes/mems over email every day, and one of us would stop by the other's desk to shoot the shit for like 30 minutes pretty much every day. I wasn't sure how to make things be the least awkward, so I kept sending jokes and pretending like nothing happened. She stopped responding to most of my jokes and emails, and she started glaring at me the few times I tried going to her desk to ask about something I was working on for her.
So like, I'm pretty sure I'm being ghosted, and I just don't know the least awkward way to let myself be ghosted by someone who's contacting me every day. Her emails keep switching between overly formal, short and terse, or jokey and full of smiley faces and winking faces (she uses them at the end of sarcastic sentences, like "I'm sure you'll love working on this ;)" ). I'm afraid that if I just stop joking around, she'll think she's hurt my feelings and feel guilty. But she's definitely stopped responding to most of my jokes, so I really don't want to keep replying with them because it seems like she's not amused by them anymore, and it's kinda disheartening to not get replies to them. It's really stressing me out, because I have to email her pretty much every day.
She's come over to my desk twice since all this started, and both times just joked around with me like nothing was going on. The first time I was like "cool, everything's all good again," and then I went over to her desk a few days later to ask about something and I got a death glare again the entire time I was talking to her. It's exhausting. I've spent weeks worrying that she was going to complain to HR because I've made things awkward and she doesn't want to work in this environment, and our annual performance review was going on during this whole time so I was worried I was going to get a talking to from my boss about how I've been acting.
I haven't texted her at all since I got turned down, and I don't think I've said or done anything scandalous or inappropriate. I don't use facebook/etc. so we aren't friends on there. It's just I have no idea what the emailing etiquette should be and it's super stressful trying to figure out how let myself be gracefully ghosted by someone I'm in contact with every day. I feel like I'm walking on thin ice until the company hires a replacement and she completely transitions out of her old role.
So like, basic questions are: am I the asshole? And how the fuck should I reply to her emails with out being an asshole? I've started just doing super short replies when possible like "Here's the attachment!" or "Thanks, that's updated now!", etc. or otherwise just casual "Hey I'm confused on this thing you sent because of X,Y, Z, can you look into that?" and cut out all jokes, is that the right approach?
