-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
How do you know these 2 guys want something more than friendship?
Anyone got any stories of a girl making the first move?
I once had a dream where a girl asked me out. Pretty good dream.
I once had a dream where a girl asked me out. Pretty good dream.
Yeah its not as common as we all wish it was. Hear plenty of girls being interested in either friends or random dudes but will never make the first move "because thats not how it is supposed to be" or some nonsense.
Feels great when a lady makes the first move imo. But then again I almost refuse to date passive ladies (when I realize how passive they are that is)
I didn't check her pockets, she took it out and let it on my bed (with other things), she opened it herself and then I noticed the numbers when she showed me the paper, and then she remembered she had them.
I don't know, I was just making a guess I suppose. Is hard for me to believe that they just want a friend, I guess this is my problem after all but most of the time when I see a guy trying to get someones number is because he is interested in her romantically, I tend to think the reverse is true as well but I guess im wrong.
I'm not sure how could I address that. I think I've already told her that due to my family story I tend to be doubtful about some stuff, besides that I'm not sure how to proceed. My insecurity due to that gives me a hard time to trust people I guess, this is something I need to work on.
Some behaviors of hers makes it harder for me to be at peace at times, she likes being hit on and she tends to give her number really easily (from what I've seen) plus quite a number of times she has told me "I met this guy today that was really handsome" and well these type of stuff doesn't help my insecurity lol.
Anyway I need to work on it somehow.
Last edited:
Just from ones I wasn't interested in.
Now I understand the appeal of ghosting and not responding all the time.
Girl walked up to me and asked me out in middle school. Told em to leave me alone and then left cause my self esteem was in the gutter and I thought they were playing a prank on me, which had happened to me before. The first time a girl showed interest in me turned out to be an awful prank, and every girl since I thought they were fucking with me for laughs. I still sometimes think it might be a joke when it happens and have to really push that feeling back down. Boy, that really left an impression on me.
So, fact is she had nothing to hide and she told you what they were. If she took their numbers but did not give them hers then it's nothing. You need to do something about your insecurity.
On principal I wanna tell you that you should always give a partner the benefit of the doubt. But at the same time she really shouldn't be boasting to you that she met handsome guys if you aren't comfortable with it.
I will say that it's unlikely the second man wrote down his number on a piece of paper with another mans number already on it. At least I would think so.
SO messaged me first, commenting on a funny picture in my OKC profile.
I'll take a different route and I think these are are no no. Is she giving out her number to guys in front of you? Because that's a straight NO from me. Also, why does she consistently tell you about handsome men?
You mentioned she's in University so I'm assuming she's young and loves attention.
Also, someone mentioned married men as if that's okay to give out their number to women. Absolutely not
Instead of losing your shit, you should have been asking questions. I would definitely set my boundaries with her because I wouldn't put up with this.
No she doesn't give her number out in front of me but she has told me about some guys she met and what they say to her in WhatsApp so that's how I know that she gives it easily. I'm like "why did you give him your number?" And she's like "he seemed like a nice/cool/friendly person, there's nothing wrong in making friends".
She met a Chinese guy in a restaurant the other day (she has an obsession for Asian guys btw) and he added her to Facebook and then my GF gave him her number because why not?... (She told me about this because something funny happened in that restaurant and she told me the story).
About the handsome men thingy I don't know why she brings that up so often, today I asked her "do you like making your SOs jealous or something? Cos you always talk about...", And she said nope, that's just how she is but since that makes me uncomfortable she is supposed to stop doing that for now.
Yes she's in University, she's 21 and she loves attention from what she has told me, so yeah. She likes when random people catcalls her, she feels good about herself when that happens and things like that (she told me that).
Last edited:
The good is she's telling you about it so far. The bad? Why is she giving out her personal number to lots of men? That is unacceptable.
I would definitely work on becoming a handsomer man. This is possibly a ding against you since she repeatedly brings it up. Also, if it ever went south, you're already ahead of the game(lifting heavy weights, cardio exercise, athletic hobbies, etc).
She's a young woman who consistently craves attention from men. Think about it Shal.
Is this the type of woman you want long-term? Is this the type of woman you would want to marry?
I dont like the fact that she gives out her number so easily (from my perspective at least) but it's true that is fine to meet new friends and such. For me is hard to draw the line here, if she makes new friends then cool but I feel uneasy about this number thing regardless. Personally I don't go out and give my number to new chicks I meet who "I find friendly" but that's just me.
About the "becoming handsomer" (lol at the wording) I'm already in good shape to be honest (thankfully), can't do much else.
The fact that she seem to like attention from other men makes me uneasy and I don't know how to deal with it besides working on my insecurity.
Also, should trust be something granted at the start of a relationship or something that you earn? I'm leading towards the latter and to be honest some of her behaviors and actions (like the ones I have mentioned before) makes it difficult for me to blindly trust her, I want to trust her but I'm an insecure mess I guess.
For now I will just try to eat my insecurity and play dumb while trying to work on it, let's see how it goes.
About the "is she someone I would.like to.marry?" My answer sadly is leaning towards no, she has told me a lot of times that her ideal relationship would be to be with a sugar daddy, someone who buys her stuff often and someone that brings the money so she doesn't have to work. I don't like that idea (I've told her already) but I still like her so I'm taking those comments more on the jokey side (I hope she's not serious about it). I'm more of the opinion of both cooperating with everything and no one taking advantage of the other, that's what I would like at least.
There are other iffy things as well, for example one of her "dreams" is being a prostitute and a stripper, being paid to have sex and quite a few times she has joked saying "you should throw me money now hahaha". I take it as a joke as well but she has said that like 3 times now. Also a lot of times she has asked me "what would you do if you find me with your brother" or stuff like that. She finds it funny and asks in a jokey manner, she likes "thinking about extreme cases" but she has asked stuff like that so many times now that it starts to make me feel doubt.
Overall she seems like a really honest person, but sometimes actions like the ones I mentioned make me question if I can trust her completely or not.
She's also a bit special in that "she likes when there are problems on her relationships, it makes her feel alive" and that her relationship with her ex "was too perfect and it ended up being boring" :thinking:
Last edited:
Yeah, let me backtrack on what I said earlier: your girlfriend raises a ton of red flags.
I initially thought: Oh, it was a university trip. Maybe she and some random dudes (and girls?) bonded over a shared love of Greek pottery, human rights, or Shakespeare or something.
But nope.
She loves attention. That's fine, if you're into it. (Quite frankly, I'd personally be into what she's throwing down, absent the sugar daddy shit, but you and I are different.) It doesn't seem you are.
You don't want to date a baby hotwife, and that's completely fine.
She's going to flirt and crave attention, and she'll probably remain faithful and pout around you until your unwillingness to condone her flirting makes her grow bored and go elsewhere.
I initially thought: Oh, it was a university trip. Maybe she and some random dudes (and girls?) bonded over a shared love of Greek pottery, human rights, or Shakespeare or something.
But nope.
She loves attention. That's fine, if you're into it. (Quite frankly, I'd personally be into what she's throwing down, absent the sugar daddy shit, but you and I are different.) It doesn't seem you are.
You don't want to date a baby hotwife, and that's completely fine.
She's going to flirt and crave attention, and she'll probably remain faithful and pout around you until your unwillingness to condone her flirting makes her grow bored and go elsewhere.
Well the fact that she loves attention (or that's my take on it at least) is what raises some trust issues in me as well.
There's also cases like, for example, this "new really hot guy who's really nice" in one of her classes with which she exchanged numbers with after sitting next to him and talking with him in a class. This guy messaged her "I got a ton of questions to ask you but I will do it in person". I told her he is just hitting on her and she's like "you think so? Nah". She said "I don't like him anyway" but the fact that she bringed him up in the first place and wants to see what he has to say makes me doubt more. If she's ok with making friends like that then I got nothing to do but stuff like this feeds my insecurity. The fact that she is so open to sharing numbers and such leaves me uneasy.
She also.seemed jealous when she bringed up how "this super incredibly handsome guy" from her class (which she has never talked with but she "hates" him because of his presence) kept on hitting on this chick (in the university trip bus) on a really lame way. She said she was embarrassed of listening it and wanted him to shut up but to me that sounded like jealousy.
Stuff like this makes me wonder If I can really trust her. Yes is true that she told.me about those things herself, but the way she expressed herself everytime seemed weird. Maybe she deeps down just want to make me feel jealous, or maybe there's other reasons I don't know.
There's also cases like, for example, this "new really hot guy who's really nice" in one of her classes with which she exchanged numbers with after sitting next to him and talking with him in a class. This guy messaged her "I got a ton of questions to ask you but I will do it in person". I told her he is just hitting on her and she's like "you think so? Nah". She said "I don't like him anyway" but the fact that she bringed him up in the first place and wants to see what he has to say makes me doubt more. If she's ok with making friends like that then I got nothing to do but stuff like this feeds my insecurity. The fact that she is so open to sharing numbers and such leaves me uneasy.
She also.seemed jealous when she bringed up how "this super incredibly handsome guy" from her class (which she has never talked with but she "hates" him because of his presence) kept on hitting on this chick (in the university trip bus) on a really lame way. She said she was embarrassed of listening it and wanted him to shut up but to me that sounded like jealousy.
Stuff like this makes me wonder If I can really trust her. Yes is true that she told.me about those things herself, but the way she expressed herself everytime seemed weird. Maybe she deeps down just want to make me feel jealous, or maybe there's other reasons I don't know.
Last edited:
Great! Continue being in good shape and get stronger.
I pay attention to what a woman does, not what she says. From what you have been telling me, I would end the relationship
You trying to deal with insecurities and her craving attention and wanting to make you jealous are a toxic combination.
Real talk: y'all need to talk about this. If this is some kind of sexual kink for her, see if you're willing to indulge it. But I doubt she's self-aware enough to understand that at her age; she may simply be in the "I like attention from guys, and why isn't my boyfriend getting super jealous about it -- that's how he shows he cares about me!" phase. If that's the case, the outlook isn't great (and that's not a knock on you, it's more about identifying a fundamental incompatibility).
Just you gotta learn not to use your insecurities to self-sabotage the relationship. Do you trust her not to cheat on you or you're not at that level of trust yet in the relationship? Oh wait she likes to play attention games. If you're uncomfortable about it, let her know. Me and my fiance did this at first where we played with previous people we dated and saw how far they took it despite us saying we're together, but that was agreed upon at first so it was all consensual. But your relationship is not like that, so just communicate this worry to her.
Yes I'm aware that it might be a thing of her immaturity and that she wants me to be jelous (she denies that she wants me to be jelous though).
Yes I already told her that her bringing up stuff like "this guy who is really good looking" makes me uncomfortable, hopefully she tones it down, will see how it goes.
And yes, her supposedly craving for attention does not combine well with my insecurity problem. I will try to deal with it and hope for the best. I really like her and want to make this work, at times I feel like I end up minimizing my feelings too much though, but this I rationalize it as "my insecurity is the issue so I just have to suck it up and deal with it". I wonder how many things I'm minimizing that I'm mistakenly attributing to my insecurity though, that rather are things that are indeed unhealthy about her behavior/actions.
Sometimes my insecurity makes me believe that everything is an overreaction on my part and so everything is my fault and I have to suck it up and deal with it, hard to draw the line like this.
Yes I will communicate my issues with her. I have already communicated most to her I think but yes I will be willing to communicate more if needed.
I think I'm not yet at a good level of trust with her. I don't know if this is something I should already have or is something that has to be nourished with time, I hope it's the latter lol.
And yes I tend to self sabotage my relationships and I hate it, have to work on that as well (I guess is positively correlated with insecurity).
Yes I already told her that her bringing up stuff like "this guy who is really good looking" makes me uncomfortable, hopefully she tones it down, will see how it goes.
And yes, her supposedly craving for attention does not combine well with my insecurity problem. I will try to deal with it and hope for the best. I really like her and want to make this work, at times I feel like I end up minimizing my feelings too much though, but this I rationalize it as "my insecurity is the issue so I just have to suck it up and deal with it". I wonder how many things I'm minimizing that I'm mistakenly attributing to my insecurity though, that rather are things that are indeed unhealthy about her behavior/actions.
Sometimes my insecurity makes me believe that everything is an overreaction on my part and so everything is my fault and I have to suck it up and deal with it, hard to draw the line like this.
Yes I will communicate my issues with her. I have already communicated most to her I think but yes I will be willing to communicate more if needed.
I think I'm not yet at a good level of trust with her. I don't know if this is something I should already have or is something that has to be nourished with time, I hope it's the latter lol.
And yes I tend to self sabotage my relationships and I hate it, have to work on that as well (I guess is positively correlated with insecurity).
Last edited:
She does seem to have a kind of eating disorder lately. And I would say shes really insecure by the way, most of her life her mom as bringed her down (she has told me), telling her stuff like "why are you going out ugly like that? Dress better" and such, basically her mom has done a very bad job to her self esteem (probably). She recently got breast surgery and a few others so she does have problems with her image from what I see. I could rationalize the "craving for attention" as something related to this but still...
I see red flags in her but I don't want to end it with her because of that. I want to trust her and make it work. I hope that I don't learn the hard way that I should trust my gut more...
Yes I do too pay more importance to actions rather than words and that's why I feel this uneasy, I wont end it for this though but for sure I will have my guard up... I don't know if I Will be able to achieve trust like this though.
I see red flags in her but I don't want to end it with her because of that. I want to trust her and make it work. I hope that I don't learn the hard way that I should trust my gut more...
Yes I do too pay more importance to actions rather than words and that's why I feel this uneasy, I wont end it for this though but for sure I will have my guard up... I don't know if I Will be able to achieve trust like this though.
Last edited:
She doesn't really blame her mom, she does indeed want to think good of her "she has given me everything". But she has told me that her mom usually tells her stuff like that and that's where I see some problems coming from. Sadly she's a victim of the circumstances in that case, her mom seems really shitty.
You really should communicate your insecurities and what makes you uncomfortable with your girlfriend next time you meet her, because bottling it up won't solve it. Then she will know where you are at, and what each of your boundaries are. Any time something was bothering me, I had an immediate chat with my partner and we talked it out, made our relationship and trust better.
Eh I dont really trust people that feel the need to convince others their parent is shitty. But hopefully for you it doesnt mean she is cray.
No she didn't try to convince me that her mom is shitty, that's my take based on what she has told me about her mom and what she has done lol. But yeah hopefully she isn't too troubled because of that.
Indeed I will :)
I'll stop trying to be an internet therapist, but my point is that what someone tells you and what actually happened can be very different. Just keep your eyes open. For example - "why are you going out ugly like that? Dress better" - could be her mother protecting her because she dressed half naked at age 13.
It never ceases to amaze me how thoroughly I can kill a woman's attraction for me with insecurity and neediness even after starting off on the right foot. Some people say never double text, this guy right here quadruple texts.
I've had girls make the move for the first kiss before. Always a good feeling. Just gotta be feeling yourself, I suppose.
I've had girls make the move for the first kiss before. Always a good feeling. Just gotta be feeling yourself, I suppose.
Shal, just from what you've said here, my impression of your girlfriend is that she's the type of person who likes to keep playing the field for backburner partners while in a relationship.
You know, someone you're attracted to and would pursue if not in a relationship but you still get their contact info, social media, etc and have them in a place of familiarity (messaging, commenting on social media, hanging out and even light flirting) where you could easily have them as an option if your current relationship ended but you aren't really making a move on them. Like I said they're on the back burner.
Basically I think most people do this or have done this subconsciously. Your girlfriend seems to do this a lot which makes me doubt she's doing it subconsciously at all. It's very disrespectful to you and I wouldn't want to date someone like that. But definitely talk to her about how you feel, this might not necessarily be the case, I just have a feeling it is.
You know, someone you're attracted to and would pursue if not in a relationship but you still get their contact info, social media, etc and have them in a place of familiarity (messaging, commenting on social media, hanging out and even light flirting) where you could easily have them as an option if your current relationship ended but you aren't really making a move on them. Like I said they're on the back burner.
Basically I think most people do this or have done this subconsciously. Your girlfriend seems to do this a lot which makes me doubt she's doing it subconsciously at all. It's very disrespectful to you and I wouldn't want to date someone like that. But definitely talk to her about how you feel, this might not necessarily be the case, I just have a feeling it is.
Yeah, that's what online dating was for me. Although, roughly 95% of the time I wasn't interested. I imagine girls feel that way too when they're inundated with messages from guys they find undesirable.
In-person? I've had girls obviously flirt, but I usually had to escalate.
The one time a girl initiated — she was a defense attorney, I was working on the 9/11 terrorist prosecutions, and we had a three hour drunken debate on the criminal justice system before she pushed me against the wall near a dartboard and stuck her tongue down my throat.
She's now one of my best friends.
The only time a girl messaged me first on Tinder, she started chatting me up a few minutes after matching. She was very enthusiastic, so after like a 4-5 message exchange, I asked her out. She was really excited to meet up and we lived in the same neighborhood. Day before the date, I confirm with her via text and she can't wait. Day of date, can't get in touch with her. Decided to just go to the place we agreed to meet and sent her a text saying when I'd be there. Nothing, never heard from her again. At least the place was only 4 blocks from my house but still.
So the other day on OKC I match with a girl I was friends with in high school. I had a huge crush on her back in the day, but no idea how to talk to girls. So we get to talking and lightly flirting and agree to meet up on Friday night. This was Monday, I believe. I get her number before going to bed, feeling good. The next day we're texting and flirting turns to innuendo which turns to full-on sexting, and she seems more excited than ever to meet up. The next morning there's a little more sexting before she just kinda stops responding. I step back and kinda qualify things, saying even aside from the obvious sexual excitement I'm eager just to meet up and catch up. I don't hear back. It's a long boring ass day at work, so I text her a few more times intermittently to no response.
The next morning she says she's sorry but it was a super busy day. Don't hear from her the rest of the day, I text her a few more times to try and keep the conversation going. I start to worry and get insecure because I see she's consistently online on OKC, at which point my insecurity boils over and I texted her five times yesterday, knowing what an insecure ass I'm being and killing all the good feelings and sexual attraction I'd built up. I ask her at two different points if we're still on for Friday night, hoping she'll just say yes and I can leave her be and shut myself up, but no answer. I did ask if she was up to anything last night, and just got a two word response "At work."
So now I feel like an idiot and still have no idea if we're still hanging out. Maybe it's been a super busy week for her and I'll see what tomorrow brings, but I feel like I really screwed the pooch on this one. Which is a shame cause it's a cute girl I used to like back in the day and I'd already turned her on and got her very eager to see me. But I just kept fucking talking.
The next morning she says she's sorry but it was a super busy day. Don't hear from her the rest of the day, I text her a few more times to try and keep the conversation going. I start to worry and get insecure because I see she's consistently online on OKC, at which point my insecurity boils over and I texted her five times yesterday, knowing what an insecure ass I'm being and killing all the good feelings and sexual attraction I'd built up. I ask her at two different points if we're still on for Friday night, hoping she'll just say yes and I can leave her be and shut myself up, but no answer. I did ask if she was up to anything last night, and just got a two word response "At work."
So now I feel like an idiot and still have no idea if we're still hanging out. Maybe it's been a super busy week for her and I'll see what tomorrow brings, but I feel like I really screwed the pooch on this one. Which is a shame cause it's a cute girl I used to like back in the day and I'd already turned her on and got her very eager to see me. But I just kept fucking talking.
Wait, how many times did you text her without a response? It sounds like you texted her like 10 times by how you describe it. Sorry to say but you definitely chased her off with that.
It just started as a slow trickle but I kept fucking talking cause I'd see she was online on OKC and figured I'd try and get her attention while she was looking at her phone.
After the bit of morning sexting, I texted her 5 times throughout the day, concluding with an apology at about 11pm saying I was sorry if I was bugging her, it was just a boring day and my mind was wandering.
The next morning she responded saying no I wasn't bugging her, it was just a busy day. I replied to that one saying it's all good and not to mind me, and then another text that afternoon just trying to get the conversation going. No response, no further texting the rest of the day.
Yesterday morning I asked her how her day was going, and then later that afternoon asking if we were still on for Friday. Then last night at 10 or so I asked if she was up to anything that night and she responded instantly with "At work." I apologized and said I'd leave her be and asked once more if our plans were still on. No response.
So my plan is to leave her be until tomorrow afternoon and ask where she wants to meet. Maybe the obvious annoyance I was making her feel will have subsided a bit and she'll be down to do something. Probably not. This is why I hate scheduling dates several days out, cause it just gives me a chance to fuck things up by being myself before I get the chance to make a good impression physically in person.
Now you've learned that texting is fucking pointless and you need to avoid that shit in nearly all circumstances.
Make a date. If it's way out in the future, maybe send a picture. Confirm the day of. "Should be out of work by 5, so I'll get to X by 630."
There is no point in asking someone you've never met how their day is. (Yeah, I know you knew this girl—you still blew up her phone though.)
You're self-aware about it, and that's the first step.
Make a date. If it's way out in the future, maybe send a picture. Confirm the day of. "Should be out of work by 5, so I'll get to X by 630."
There is no point in asking someone you've never met how their day is. (Yeah, I know you knew this girl—you still blew up her phone though.)
You're self-aware about it, and that's the first step.
I have insecurity problems in general, but it really flares up when it comes to girls that are super cute. I've never had a ton of luck with the pretty ones, it's like my brain is telling me they're out of my league and I fuck things up. Which is why instead of finding a solid relationship with a cute girl I'm really into I usually settle for sex-based flings with girls I'm not that into in attempt to boost my self-esteem. It's a vicious circle.
Wow, yeah, justjim89 . You really went overboard with the texting. Double texting is bad enough. You like quintexted her. It probably made you look desperate, insecure and pushy to her. All of those things are unattractive and probably killed any initial interest she had in you. Plus it's also just annoying to have someone spamming you with texts when you don't have time to respond.
Next time you really gotta force yourself not to text unless she has texted back. Like just fight your urge to text her. You never want to seem too available, as if you're sitting there all day with nothing to do but think about her. I mean, even if that's the truth, you don't want her to know that! Not only does it make you look like the things I mentioned above, it makes it look like you have nothing going on in your life. A little mystery honestly goes a long way. You have a job, you have hobbies, friends, maybe you're even dating other girls? She doesn't know and not knowing makes you more desirable at that point. Cause then it's like, if I don't take this chance with this guy, he'll move on to all the other stuff he's got going on.
And like Addie said, at this point, there is no reason to be asking about her day. You aren't really at that personal level yet where you should be texting her mundane things. Rule of thumb when texting a girl you're dating or want to date: only text with purpose. Don't send little pointless texts asking about her day. It's boring. Only text for a specific purpose like asking her out - which you did. Like the sexting just happened and that's cool, you know she's interested then. But sexting shouldn't be sustained over a day let alone two. People sext cause they're horny and then that passes and so they stop. The conversation cooled off. I think at that point, you should have just not said anything until today and then texted her something to confirm the date on Friday. That's all.
Also, don't apologize for contacting her. It's not a good look. Like texting a bunch already is bad but then apologizing about it when she doesn't respond just makes it worse. Like if you end up doing something dumb, just own it, honestly. Hopefully this helps you out next time.
Next time you really gotta force yourself not to text unless she has texted back. Like just fight your urge to text her. You never want to seem too available, as if you're sitting there all day with nothing to do but think about her. I mean, even if that's the truth, you don't want her to know that! Not only does it make you look like the things I mentioned above, it makes it look like you have nothing going on in your life. A little mystery honestly goes a long way. You have a job, you have hobbies, friends, maybe you're even dating other girls? She doesn't know and not knowing makes you more desirable at that point. Cause then it's like, if I don't take this chance with this guy, he'll move on to all the other stuff he's got going on.
And like Addie said, at this point, there is no reason to be asking about her day. You aren't really at that personal level yet where you should be texting her mundane things. Rule of thumb when texting a girl you're dating or want to date: only text with purpose. Don't send little pointless texts asking about her day. It's boring. Only text for a specific purpose like asking her out - which you did. Like the sexting just happened and that's cool, you know she's interested then. But sexting shouldn't be sustained over a day let alone two. People sext cause they're horny and then that passes and so they stop. The conversation cooled off. I think at that point, you should have just not said anything until today and then texted her something to confirm the date on Friday. That's all.
Also, don't apologize for contacting her. It's not a good look. Like texting a bunch already is bad but then apologizing about it when she doesn't respond just makes it worse. Like if you end up doing something dumb, just own it, honestly. Hopefully this helps you out next time.
Yeah, it's bad when I know that I'm actively fucking something up as I'm doing it. Cause then I still do it, it's like a compulsion. I should've just left it be after the sexting and got a hold of her today or tomorrow to confirm. All anything else did was bore her or annoy her or reveal too much of myself. I've been dumped before by a girl saying talking to me can sometimes feel like work, and this is maybe the quickest I've gotten to that point. And it's with someone I got my hopes up about.
It just sucks cause in spite of my depression and self esteem issues I know I'm a guy well worth dating, but my insecurities always creep up on me anytime I get my hopes up on something.
Thanks for the feedback, y'all. I'll be over here putting a forehead-shaped groove into my desk.
It just sucks cause in spite of my depression and self esteem issues I know I'm a guy well worth dating, but my insecurities always creep up on me anytime I get my hopes up on something.
Thanks for the feedback, y'all. I'll be over here putting a forehead-shaped groove into my desk.
You seem pretty self aware of your fuckups Justjim, which is a great thing. Cause if you're aware of it, it's much easier to catch yourself doing it and tell yourself to cut that shit out. It does take a lot of willpower and practice but you can definitely improve on it.
Welp. Thai girl and me had sex on our (second) date last night and I really wish we hadn't gone that far. I wasn't really sure about the yet-another-long-distance-relationship to begin with. But I wanted to try dating her.
Then there's the fact that the condom slipped off during sex. Not for long I think, and I never busted or anything, but I talked to the friend and asked if he could ask his wife to talk to her about considering taking a morning-after pill just in case (because I don't know how to even explain that with the language gap). He said "sure, she'll pick up a pill on her way home and it'll be alright". He asked if we were going out again. I said "yes, if she wants to. Though I'm going to be open with how I feel, because I don't want her to keep investing at this pace (she texted me every day during the dates asking about my day, and sent out an 'I miss you' the day before our second date)". He criticized me for sleeping with her while not really feeling the relationship angle, and I was like "I know, I feel like an idiot. I'm not used to girls moving on me with this kind of speed". I told him I was really upset about how I handled this. I've been crying on and off when I think about having to upset her. Told him I was very sorry.
Us having sex probably made things a million times worse. Not only with her I assume, but the fact that it's a setup with her sister and a friend of mine involved. I feel like a proper idiot and an asshole. Guys?
Also, the odds of unwanted pregnancy are probably in my favour, right? This whole situation is messed up and I'm really freaking out.
Then there's the fact that the condom slipped off during sex. Not for long I think, and I never busted or anything, but I talked to the friend and asked if he could ask his wife to talk to her about considering taking a morning-after pill just in case (because I don't know how to even explain that with the language gap). He said "sure, she'll pick up a pill on her way home and it'll be alright". He asked if we were going out again. I said "yes, if she wants to. Though I'm going to be open with how I feel, because I don't want her to keep investing at this pace (she texted me every day during the dates asking about my day, and sent out an 'I miss you' the day before our second date)". He criticized me for sleeping with her while not really feeling the relationship angle, and I was like "I know, I feel like an idiot. I'm not used to girls moving on me with this kind of speed". I told him I was really upset about how I handled this. I've been crying on and off when I think about having to upset her. Told him I was very sorry.
Us having sex probably made things a million times worse. Not only with her I assume, but the fact that it's a setup with her sister and a friend of mine involved. I feel like a proper idiot and an asshole. Guys?
Also, the odds of unwanted pregnancy are probably in my favour, right? This whole situation is messed up and I'm really freaking out.
Last edited:
Yeah, they will draw blood and make you do a urine test. I'm assuming you're male? I've heard of some places doing a swab but that's never happened to me.
Male. Just thinking of the idea of a swab makes me queezy. I'm a wuse
Godspeed.
I did it last weekend. Mom, mom's boyfriend, dad, grandma, grandma's fiance, aunt, and uncle.
It was a long weekend.