DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes

The girl I started seeing has been proposed to by 5 different guys... She said no to all except one guy and is now divorced from him.

I feel like this is a giant red flag.... Is this a giant red flag?

Peltz said:

The girl I started seeing has been proposed to by 5 different guys... She said no to all except one guy and is now divorced from him.

I feel like this is a giant red flag.... Is this a giant red flag?

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I'm going to say yes. She must be sending out some kind of signal to make all these guys propose to her. Leading them on somehow? Dunno.


In my news I have two first dates this week, one tonight and one on Thursday. Should be interesting.

Jokab said:

I'm going to say yes. She must be sending out some kind of signal to make all these guys propose to her. Leading them on somehow? Dunno.


In my news I have two first dates this week, one tonight and one on Thursday. Should be interesting.

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are you looking forward to one more than the other?

dietpepsi said:

are you looking forward to one more than the other?

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Yes, the second one. I'm probably more compatible with the first one if I had to guess though.

Peltz said:

The girl I started seeing has been proposed to by 5 different guys... She said no to all except one guy and is now divorced from him.

I feel like this is a giant red flag.... Is this a giant red flag?

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Yes.

Alwayscrazybacon said:

Yes.

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What would you do, Alwayscrazybacon?

I actually really like this one. How do I prevent myself from being just "number 6"? Or should I just forget it?

I can actually see myself getting very attached to her. Which sucks because I never feel that way about anyone. :-(

But if it really is a bad idea to get involved with her, I'll stay away.

Peltz said:

What would you do, Alwayscrazybacon?

I actually really like this one. How do I prevent myself from being just "number 6"? Or should I just forget it?

I can actually see myself getting very attached to her. Which sucks because I never feel that way about anyone. :-(

But if it really is a bad idea to get involved with her, I'll stay away.

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She's the one constant in all those proposals and its an unusually high number and the one she said yes to didnt work out. Something is up here, dont know what is is, but its made you question it too. Maybe she was picky before, maybe after a divorce she's still picky. Its not a risk Id take. 6 other guys really liked her too.

Alwayscrazybacon said:

She's the one constant in all those proposals and its an unusually high number and the one she said yes to didnt work out. Something is up here, dont know what is is, but its made you question it too. Maybe she was picky before, maybe after a divorce she's still picky. Its not a risk Id take. 6 other guys really liked her too.

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5 other guys. But yea, good point.

I am going to talk to her about it and just try to hear her out without judgment (perhaps in futility).

makonero said:

Secondly, every day is a choice. When we are grumpy or mad or annoyed, we both have consistently chosen to get over it. We've learned how to handle conflict. We've learned how to communicate. We have made mistakes. We found ways to forgive. We found ways to support each other. We've found ways to enjoy one another completely. All of this took work. At any moment we could have given up on eachother, but we decided not to. We chose one another consistently.

She's the one for me not because of magic or fate, but because I've chosen to be with her, and she with me.

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Great post, especially this part. Pretty much how I feel about my current relationship, you just have to find someone who you like and respect enough that your'e willing to make that choice, and gives the same back to you. Congrats!

Peltz said:

Another follow up to this.

We went out last night and... well... I was excited for this date all week. Looking forward to it, texting her and getting butterflies when she got back to me.

Then in person... I don't know. It went very well. We made out and she started talking dirty to me which got me excited physically, but... being completely honest, kind of disappointed me at the same time. Like.. it made things feel kind of cheap for me. Less significant in some way.

:-/

I thought she was very classy and intelligent when I first got her number and while we texted... but once things started getting physical, I got a little bummed out despite enjoying it. I don't know if I'm being too judgmental or what. But she doesn't stand out from other girls like I thought she would.

I feel like I should consider myself lucky that girls want to jump my bones, but I'm getting fed up with it. I don't even know how to tackle the issue.

I don't want to say "I'm not interested in being physical yet" because I generally am. But like... I feel like most girls want to jump the gun from kissing to sex way too quick.

And I don't want to have to say "let's slow it down" to someone. I want someone who says something like that to me. Does that make sense? Like I need to chase a bit more. There's just a lack of thrill lately.

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Interesting that we have people with issues on both sides of the spectrum. It's easy to think that the only problem people have is trouble getting dates and that somehow being too successful could never be a bad thing. This reminds me of my friend who pretty much would kill it effortlessly when it came to dates. At one point he was dating 4-5 very attractive women and also hookups on the side and I assumed he must be extremely happy with his circumstances but he was telling me how he was getting tired of it and just didn't feel that much when it came to most of the women he was seeing. He said it felt kind of hollow because he wasn't really connecting with any of the women but they were all very excited about him so it took no effort of him to escalate things with them.

He just stopped seeing all of them at once and wiped the slate clean. Kind of focused on other things in his life and started taking things at a slower pace. Now he has a girlfriend of about 6-7 months and seems pretty happy about it so I don't know if that would work for you or not.

SuperiorTrashTalk said:

Interesting that we have people with issues on both sides of the spectrum. It's easy to think that the only problem people have is trouble getting dates and that somehow being too successful could never be a bad thing. This reminds me of my friend who pretty much would kill it effortlessly when it came to dates. At one point he was dating 4-5 very attractive women and also hookups on the side and I assumed he must be extremely happy with his circumstances but he was telling me how he was getting tired of it and just didn't feel that much when it came to most of the women he was seeing. He said it felt kind of hollow because he wasn't really connecting with any of the women but they were all very excited about him so it took no effort of him to escalate things with them.

He just stopped seeing all of them at once and wiped the slate clean. Kind of focused on other things in his life and started taking things at a slower pace. Now he has a girlfriend of about 6-7 months and seems pretty happy about it so I don't know if that would work for you or not.

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I unedpectedly met someone very soon after typing that who I'm quite taken by. But it's still very early and she comes with baggage as mentioned above.

But yes, it's hard to feel invested when dating too many women. Cutting things down/wiping the slate clean is definitely the answer there.

SuperiorTrashTalk said:

Interesting that we have people with issues on both sides of the spectrum. It's easy to think that the only problem people have is trouble getting dates and that somehow being too successful could never be a bad thing. This reminds me of my friend who pretty much would kill it effortlessly when it came to dates. At one point he was dating 4-5 very attractive women and also hookups on the side and I assumed he must be extremely happy with his circumstances but he was telling me how he was getting tired of it and just didn't feel that much when it came to most of the women he was seeing. He said it felt kind of hollow because he wasn't really connecting with any of the women but they were all very excited about him so it took no effort of him to escalate things with them.

He just stopped seeing all of them at once and wiped the slate clean. Kind of focused on other things in his life and started taking things at a slower pace. Now he has a girlfriend of about 6-7 months and seems pretty happy about it so I don't know if that would work for you or not.

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Too many choice can make things more difficult. I havent had the problem as much, usually in a group of people i would always be way more enamored with a single women. I still liked all the others but they were kind of back ups just in case the world happened.

Breaks do help. Taking time for oneself does wonders.

So last night I'm texting with my lady friend that I've mentioned on here previously and we finally got into why shit has felt so distant and stilted. She's not feeling sexy or horny anymore, and hasn't for like a month. Not just with me, but in general she says she hasn't been able to get really turned on in a month. Not with porn, not with toys, anything. I also haven't really seen her in a month aside from a trip to the movies in which she was feeling sick. But even then we made out in the car and were talking about plans to use our remote control sex toys on each other. And a month ago when we last hung out at our usual bar things got very heated before the night ended.

I'm of two minds on this: One, maybe she's just psyching herself out of it because she hasn't really hung out with me in a month and all it'll take is a few rounds of drinks together and a kiss or two to warm her back up. I've always had a talent for turning her on and making her feel sexy even when she doesn't think she has it in her at that time. So maybe it's as simple as needing some time together. But if it really is different this time, that scares the shit out of me. Could just be a phase, could just be she's in a weird head space, but what if it's because she's actually getting over me romantically and sexually? Even if nothing is turning her on at the moment, what if she gets it in her head that what she needs is someone new? Intimacy with this girl (not just sex, the full picture of intimacy) has been different and better than anything in my romantic life has ever been, and it's what keeps drawing us to one another. If that's over, if feels like a death knell for us being close in general. It could be a harbinger of things really being over, and that stresses me the fuck out.

I'm gonna see her friday night when she comes to a show of mine, so I guess I can take the temperature of things there, but do you guys have thoughts on this? Have you ever had someone you've been intimate with for a long time suddenly be absolutely incapable of sexuality and intimacy for over a month? If she's not feeling it anymore obviously that's that and I shouldn't try and convince her otherwise, but it's just so fucking scary and it feels like it could be the beginning of the end, no matter how close we've been before and how much we've turned each other on.

Girl who booked a date far into the future got back to me during her trip and we confirmed for what is now tomorrow. She wants to move the date up to earlier in the day tho since she "planned a bit too much in one evening". Not sure if I should intepret this as she didn't want a long date or if she squeezed me in because she's excited. Maybe there's no use in even considering one or the other.

Jokab said:

Girl who booked a date far into the future got back to me during her trip and we confirmed for what is now tomorrow. She wants to move the date up to earlier in the day tho since she "planned a bit too much in one evening". Not sure if I should intepret this as she didn't want a long date or if she squeezed me in because she's excited. Maybe there's no use in even considering one or the other.

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It sounds to me like she's pre-loading an excuse to call it a night early, in case she's not feeling it. Perhaps a bit cynical of me, but that's my two cents. Take what she says at face value, but don't be surprised if she bails earlier than expected.

justjim89 said:

It sounds to me like she's pre-loading an excuse to call it a night early, in case she's not feeling it. Perhaps a bit cynical of me, but that's my two cents. Take what she says at face value, but don't be surprised if she bails earlier than expected.

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This is about right (and smart of her to do).

And if it's going well, watch her night miraculously clear up.

justjim89 said:

It sounds to me like she's pre-loading an excuse to call it a night early, in case she's not feeling it. Perhaps a bit cynical of me, but that's my two cents. Take what she says at face value, but don't be surprised if she bails earlier than expected.

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Addie said:

This is about right (and smart of her to do).

And if it's going well, watch her night miraculously clear up.

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Sort of what I thought too. Thanks for the advice.

justjim89 said:

So last night I'm texting with my lady friend that I've mentioned on here previously and we finally got into why shit has felt so distant and stilted. She's not feeling sexy or horny anymore, and hasn't for like a month. Not just with me, but in general she says she hasn't been able to get really turned on in a month. Not with porn, not with toys, anything. I also haven't really seen her in a month aside from a trip to the movies in which she was feeling sick. But even then we made out in the car and were talking about plans to use our remote control sex toys on each other. And a month ago when we last hung out at our usual bar things got very heated before the night ended.

I'm of two minds on this: One, maybe she's just psyching herself out of it because she hasn't really hung out with me in a month and all it'll take is a few rounds of drinks together and a kiss or two to warm her back up. I've always had a talent for turning her on and making her feel sexy even when she doesn't think she has it in her at that time. So maybe it's as simple as needing some time together. But if it really is different this time, that scares the shit out of me. Could just be a phase, could just be she's in a weird head space, but what if it's because she's actually getting over me romantically and sexually? Even if nothing is turning her on at the moment, what if she gets it in her head that what she needs is someone new? Intimacy with this girl (not just sex, the full picture of intimacy) has been different and better than anything in my romantic life has ever been, and it's what keeps drawing us to one another. If that's over, if feels like a death knell for us being close in general. It could be a harbinger of things really being over, and that stresses me the fuck out.

I'm gonna see her friday night when she comes to a show of mine, so I guess I can take the temperature of things there, but do you guys have thoughts on this? Have you ever had someone you've been intimate with for a long time suddenly be absolutely incapable of sexuality and intimacy for over a month? If she's not feeling it anymore obviously that's that and I shouldn't try and convince her otherwise, but it's just so fucking scary and it feels like it could be the beginning of the end, no matter how close we've been before and how much we've turned each other on.

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How often do you two meet? Cause if it's once a month, I can see her losing the romance. If meeting her again rekindles it, that might tell you that you two could maybe meet more often if possible. Either she might not be into you anymore which is why she's not making the effort to save this relationship or she could be depressed. It sounds like you're doing most of the work and it's gotta be a two way street.

So, I made a Tinder account for the first time ever tonight.

It is clear the pickings for online daring in Lancaster PA are NOT what they were in NYC. My shitty OK Cupid account 5 years ago yielded better initial results than this

I think I swiped left about 95 percent of the women. Is that normal for smaller cities?

Mahonay said:

So, I made a Tinder account for the first time ever tonight.

It is clear the pickings for online daring in Lancaster PA are NOT what they were in NYC. My shitty OK Cupid account 5 years ago yielded better initial results than this

I think I swiped left about 95 percent of the women. Is that normal for smaller cities?

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For Lancaster, PA?

Yes.

Life is utterly stupid, nevermind.

Addie said:

For Lancaster, PA?

Yes.

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Dating is going to fucking suck here

When I was last here at 19 it wasn't so bad, but I was also connected to the local music scene and everyone was young.

Mahonay said:

So, I made a Tinder account for the first time ever tonight.

It is clear the pickings for online daring in Lancaster PA are NOT what they were in NYC. My shitty OK Cupid account 5 years ago yielded better initial results than this

I think I swiped left about 95 percent of the women. Is that normal for smaller cities?

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Mahonay said:

Dating is going to fucking suck here

When I was last here at 19 it wasn't so bad, but I was also connected to the local music scene and everyone was young.

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I live an hour from Lancaster, near Reading. But I've been up there several times. I used to live in NY state so I still have family there that I visit frequently. Based on this and my experiences, there's definitely a difference in "pickings". When I'm in NY, I see a lot more women I'm interested in compared to when I'm home. Although, I would say there are more opportunities in Lancaster compared to Reading. King of Prussia, Collegeville, and Phoenixville, and the closer you get to Philly, I find there to be more opportunities. All based on my experiences and preferences, of course.

Raptomex said:

I live an hour from Lancaster, near Reading. But I've been up there several times. I used to live in NY state so I still have family there that I visit frequently. Based on this and my experiences, there's definitely a difference in "pickings". When I'm in NY, I see a lot more women I'm interested in compared to when I'm home. Although, I would say there are more opportunities in Lancaster compared to Reading. King of Prussia, Collegeville, and Phoenixville, and the closer you get to Philly, I find there to be more opportunities. All based on my experiences and preferences, of course.

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Lancaster is definitely on the rise currently, so hopefully that'll help the dating scene as well.

My best friend lives in West Chester so really I should be getting out to hang with him there more often. Very close to Philly and I know that's a good place to meet people.

Thanks for the input man.

Welp... went out with her again last night... it's clear that we are quite crazy about each other. To an absurd degree. She's falling for me hard already and I can't help but feel the same for her.

I always approach dating with a rational perspective similar to a lot of the people who post frequently in here. I never rush into anything, never get over invested, take things slow, make sure I'm compatible with the other person, make sure we have the same long term goals, etc. etc. I've been dating this way for years and have never really felt like I lacked control.

But with this girl, I am alarmed because I lack any ability to slow things down. I feel overwhelmed with feelings for her that completely shut off my ability to think straight when I'm near her. It doesn't feel like pure lust either. It feels like much more, which is scary as hell for someone I just met 2 weeks ago.

You read that right... 2 weeks.... and I already know how bad I'm going to fall for her.

Furthermore, this has all the signs of a trainwreck and I still want to go forward. She's been divorced, proposed to 5 times, is 34 and still isn't certain she wants kids (I do), and doesn't intend on staying in NYC for more than 3 more years - and I have no intention of leaving as of today (but remain open minded on that). I also found out why she rejected 4 of the 5 proposals - they all asked her to marry them to get her to stay in the country, and she refused. And the one she said yes to, she didn't get along with his family and it fell apart. So again... a lot of red flags here.

But at the same time, she has a life I always sort of wish I had. She works for the United Nations, has lived in over a dozen countries throughout her life, and does incredible humanitarian work that I have always dreamed of doing. She's also ridiculously attractive, highly educated, worldly, and incredibly elegant. I've always dreamed I'd meet someone like this, and now I have... and it's completely fucking me up.

I don't really know what to do. I find her irresistible but I know I need to pump the brakes hard on this. But I also feel like this girl is the unicorn I've been searching for my entire adult life.

I really do need advice on this guys.

How fast after a long term relationship is it moving on too quick? Like enough that your ex gets to be mad at you? I'm over my ex after a few weeks I think (I initiated the breakup after all) and he is pissed

BAD said:

How fast after a long term relationship is it moving on too quick? Like enough that your ex gets to be mad at you? I'm over my ex after a few weeks I think (I initiated the breakup after all) and he is pissed

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I didn't know there was a rule. I would say if you're officially broken up, you can do as you please.

Messofanego said:

How often do you two meet? Cause if it's once a month, I can see her losing the romance. If meeting her again rekindles it, that might tell you that you two could maybe meet more often if possible. Either she might not be into you anymore which is why she's not making the effort to save this relationship or she could be depressed. It sounds like you're doing most of the work and it's gotta be a two way street.

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It all kinda depends on her schedule and family life (lives with her folks, as do I) for how often we see each other. Sometimes once a month, sometimes multiple times a week, usually somewhere between the two. This has definitely been one of the longer stretches we've had without officially taking a break, so I'm curious about tomorrow.

You're not wrong though that it's usually me making more of an effort than her. Usually me trying to set things up and up to her whether or not she can do it. That's not balanced and it's not healthy, but it's kinda the way it's always been. I have no delusions of things lasting forever with this girl, honestly I'm surprised we've made it two years. But until I find someone better, which I've been trying to do, she's the thing in my life that makes me happiest. At least when things are going well.

Alice said:

Life is utterly stupid, nevermind.

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Anything you want to talk about? Feeling down?

Peltz said:

I really do need advice on this guys.

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Would you regret going after it if things didn't work out?

Psychologically, people generally regret things they don't do more than things they do, because if you do something there's at least an experience there to learn and grow from.

Last year I fell hard for a friend who told me she felt the same way, but we were opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to what we were looking for in dating and romance. We tried anyway and it crashed and burned and I got hurt pretty badly. Do I regret it? Nope, not at all. At least I know and don't have to wonder "what if"?

As long as both sides are honest about what they want I don't see a reason not to keep pursuing. You never know what might happen. Maybe she gets a dream job in NYC and decides to stay, who knows. But it's better to feel and be hurt than just avoid potential failure.

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Really hate to ask this, but anyone have any experience dating after coming off a relationship where you've been cheated on or dating someone who is coming out of such a relationship? I am seeing someone I am pretty sure I am crazy for but I feel like I'm being yo-yo'd back and forth. And it has been somewhat taxing on my emotional wellbeing.

I'm seeing my best friend of 10yrs who had to break off an engagement after being cheated on last October, and I myself am coming out of a 1 yr relationship just earlier this year. It's worth mentioning this same guy used to be a close friend of mine, and has cheated on her 3 times.

We spent Tues and Wed together and it was awesome. During this time, she said that she loved me, and I said that I loved her too. I also reassured her that I meant it. She then asked me if I could see myself moving in with her down the road, as she wanted to let me know where she wants to be in life (she want to move to South Florida, then eventually NY). I told her yes, as I've been thinking about moving to NY for a while now so I could see that as a huge possibility in the future. She also wants to do travel nursing which I am supportive of because I want her to be happy with her career which has been eating away at her lately.

Here is where some of my issues lie. I believe her when she says she loves me and cares about me deeply, but her walls are still sky and her guard is always up. I've been trying so hard to be sure of myself and us, and have that confidence that we'll be ok. But man, it sucks. Sometimes I want to talk to her, or hold her in my arms, but I know that she needs both her space physically and her own headspace). I don't confide in her too often because she sometimes does not always have enough to give me emotionally (she works night shift as a nurse and sometimes breaks down to me about her job), and I am often the one baring the burden of emotional support in the relationship. Which I am ok with, but overall I think I'm just getting impatient even though I want to give her this time to heal. So I'm often left second guessing whether or not we went at this too early, but I feel that if I weather this storm and it pays off... It will absolutely be worth it. I love this woman.

Messofanego said:

Anything you want to talk about? Feeling down?

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Just what I talked about rapidly changing again.. being close to someone with anxiety issues is prolly gonna keep me on my toes.

Alice said:

Just what I talked about rapidly changing again.. being close to someone with anxiety issues is prolly gonna keep me on my toes.

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Definitely, it's tough. Was this known before you got close?

Peltz said:

I also found out why she rejected 4 of the 5 proposals - they all asked her to marry them to get her to stay in the country, and she refused. And the one she said yes to, she didn't get along with his family and it fell apart. So again... a lot of red flags here.

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I don't buy this, I mean it's plausible but too many people misrepresent previous relationships. I mean FOUR men only wanted to marry her to get her to stay?

Peltz said:

She works for the United Nations, has lived in over a dozen countries throughout her life, and does incredible humanitarian work that I have always dreamed of doing. She's also ridiculously attractive, highly educated, worldly, and incredibly elegant.

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Can you independently verify any of this?

Peltz said:

But I also feel like this girl is the unicorn I've been searching for my entire adult life. I really do need advice on this guys.

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You're going to fail because you've put her on a pedestal to start and when things seem too good to be true... You're seeing the new relationship version of her and how she presents herself. You've got to sweat her out to see the real her and if this exciting perfect person really is that. Consider this. What if all those proposals really were guys that felt just like you do? You don't have to end the relationship or change anything just carry on as you are but don't make plans to move in together or get married or confess your love for her perfection.

Messofanego said:

Definitely, it's tough. Was this known before you got close?

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Yeah, let's just say I underestimated it and failed to do any sort of research before we got int a fight.

Alice said:

Yeah, let's just say I underestimated it and failed to do any sort of research before we got int a fight.

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Do you want to pursue this? How do they react in a fight?

justjim89 said:

It's an incredibly crushing feeling to have someone be the first thought you think of in the morning and your last thought before you fall asleep, but know that they could go a month without seeing or talking to you and probably not miss you at all.

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I feel you man, I can't wait until this is not the case.

Messofanego said:

Do you want to pursue this? How do they react in a fight?

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Right now? It ended in almost complete withdrawal and redrawn boundaries. But that's mostly due to everything being chaotic as hell right now.

I do want to pursue it, I just need to figure out how and if there really is any choice in it for me, anyway.

So this is a big no go for me, but I think I like a co-worker.

Any tips on how to get over that or should I say fuck it and go with the flow?

Does anybody know how Tinder updates your location? Does it only update when you log in?

FreshCakes said:

So this is a big no go for me, but I think I like a co-worker.

Any tips on how to get over that or should I say fuck it and go with the flow?

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Apart from the potential fallout of making a pass and being rejected or the relationship failing and having to work with each other consider if you actually like her or if it's the daily and ease of contact that making you like her. We side on the opinion of not dating coworkers here.

Alwayscrazybacon said:

I don't buy this, I mean it's plausible but too many people misrepresent previous relationships. I mean FOUR men only wanted to marry her to get her to stay?



Can you independently verify any of this?




You're going to fail because you've put her on a pedestal to start and when things seem too good to be true... You're seeing the new relationship version of her and how she presents herself. You've got to sweat her out to see the real her and if this exciting perfect person really is that. Consider this. What if all those proposals really were guys that felt just like you do? You don't have to end the relationship or change anything just carry on as you are but don't make plans to move in together or get married or confess your love for her perfection.

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Good advice, particularly the bolded. And yes... I've verified her work and her past through various social media posts/work website.

And thanks for bringing me back to reality. I needed it.

Edit:

We've only known each other for 2 weeks and she wanted to be exclusive and I honestly do too... but I'm going to hold off for a few months on jumping into a commitment with her, keep an open mind, and just tap the brakes slightly when it feels like it's going too fast.

I think the best course of action would be for us both to consider dating other people in the beginning just to make sure we are choosing each other out of a place of abundance of choice rather than some sort of subconscious desperation or idealized fantasy. If that causes things to not work out between us, I will be cool with it, because then it really wasn't meant to be anyway.

If we date other people for 2 months or so and still feel like we are totally crazy about each other, then I'll know we need to be exclusive and then I'll reassess the situation. But for now, I'm going to hold off thinking about what life will be like with her down the line and just focus on the present chemistry with her and potential others.

Peltz said:

5 other guys. But yea, good point.

I am going to talk to her about it and just try to hear her out without judgment (perhaps in futility).

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You already have judged her, and you better hope she never finds these threads. It is ridiculous that the obviously awesome women in this scenario is getting the blame in these past marriage proposals. First of all, she wasn't the one doing the proposing, THEY were. Had she accepted all of them, that might be another story. Second, why is getting proposed to a bad thing? It just means she is super likable, lovable, and attracts men. Third, when you all talk about "red flags," I just laugh. Would you rather be with someone nobody has ever wanted? I'd see that as a serious red flag.

Justjim89

It could be she's over the honeymoon phase, possibly stress, hormones, or any number of things, including the physical separation. Sometimes if I go an extended time without intimacy with my partner I stop associating him with desire. That can build up over time, and it takes longer for the body to remember. Wait it out and see if she picks back up.

Peltz said:

If we date other people for 2 months or so and still feel like we are totally crazy about each other, then I'll know we need to be exclusive and then I'll reassess the situation.

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I predict man #6 will propose to her in the meantime.

justjim89 said:

I'm surprised we've made it two years. But until I find someone better, which I've been trying to do,

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Nevermind, I just saw this addition to your story, and now retract my advice. She's probably not turned on by you, because she subconsciously knows you are using her.

Kiddo76 said:

I predict man #6 will propose to her in the meantime.

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haha.

Kiddo76 said:

Nevermind, I just saw this addition to your story, and now retract my advice. She's probably not turned on by you, because she subconsciously knows you are using her.

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We're kinda using each other, really. And we both know. But when things are going well we don't really look as hard for something else. It's a weird, probably unhealthy, often stressful kind of a relationship, but it can be really nice a lot of the time.

We hung out a bit last night when she came to a show of mine, and things definitely warmed up a bit again. Not much more than making out, but it was a positive sign. Your former advice seems actually kinda spot on, it was probably just the physical separation that created the romantic distance.

Been giving Bumble a go after being pretty instantly turned off by Tinder. I definitely like Bumble significantly more, also seems like there are more women that I'm looking for on here.