User Banned (1 Week): Victim blaming.
However, after you go through toxic love once, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
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Chloe Dykstra Posts About Domestic/Sexual Abuse at the hands of Chris Hardwick
- Thread starter Senator Toadstool
- Start date
I hope people are reading the entire piece because the excerpts in the OP are actually some of the milder stuff he did. What an awful man. She's incredibly brave for writing this.
Yeah. I think some of the other stuff should be added to the OP to show just how off the rails it got.
It is funny that he thinks he is recognizable. Chris Hardwick has like the blandest face. To quote Maeby: you couldn't pick him out of a lineup of one.
Horrible stuff. Somebody said earlier why didn't she leave etc. I actually don't blame her. She was young, in love with this guy Who was a controlling and horribly abusive person.
While I thought he was funny back in the days of AOtS he did seem kind of phony and controlling
While I thought he was funny back in the days of AOtS he did seem kind of phony and controlling
Straight up. He doesn't see himself as an abuser. For a lot of people if you're not physically harming the person or using your celebrity to extort sex then you aren't an abuser.
Also it's not that he became famous and turned into this. He most likely had these qualities to begin with. Based on this story he comes off as very controlling.
What sort of an asshole says that to anyone, let alone someone he is trying to court?
I'd run a mile if someone said that to me.
If he was a sober alcoholic, I think it is reasonable that he would not want to be in a relationship with someone who casually drinks alcohol for a fear of relapse. Of course it would be better for him to look for someone who does not do drugs anyway, and the tone here is certainly problematic, but the general stance is understandable.
Also, even if it is not about a possible relapse of himself, he might have gained a very negative perspective on the effect of alcohol on humans and may want to avoid an intimate relationship with someone who consumes alcohol. Communicated in a calm manner I cannot see how this is abusive. For other drugs, including the legal nicotine, it is not uncommon for people to not want to be in a relationship with people who consume them, why would that suddenly be abuse if applied to alcohol?
Fine. That one thing may not have been abusive (debatable).
How bout looking at the other 20 things that were.
I can't begin to imagine talking to people like this in general, let alone someone I love.
Damn. Yeah it's necessary to read that entire thing. It's so easy to dismiss these kinds of relationships as one person doing it to themselves when they don't need to. And even if it's the case at the beginning (she must've started off in not the best place cuz he seemed to have started this behavior off the bat unlike most cases I've heard of and seen where predators at least take a second to build up emotional attachment), no one deserves to be treated like that. What psychopathic behavior from Chris, that's really dissapointing to say the least.
So glad im not the only one lol, idk what it is about him but I just could not stand the man
A few years ago a friend of mine went on a rant on Hardwick, the point that stuck out the most was when he said that Hardwick always has a "smown" on. His face is frowning and miserable but he is forcing himself to smile. After I heard that, I could never stop seeing it, he always looked like the fakest most miserable person in every room.
Please read the whole article. You can't divorce that single comment from everything else that was happening and pretend that he was actually trying to be reasonable there. He was just trying to exert some control over what she could do and who she could talk to constantly.
Wow, read the whole article, and it's so brutal. Sorry she had to go through with that and was made so desperate that she kept on digging for water in a sinkhole of a man that is Chris Hardwick. Hope others can corroborate and come out against him so he gets blacklisted by the industry.
Read the whole article.
He was clearly using that angle as a means of exerting control over her.
Knew the name but didn't realise until I googled. Holy shit THAT Talking Dead guy. Fucking hell. Why can't people just enjoy all the benefits that come with being naturally good looking and so on without turning into absolute thundercunts because they sense they have some "power and influence"?
Telling another person how they are going to live. That's what the other poster meant by the language of the abuser. This is prior to them even dating, no less.
Nobody is going to assume you're an abuser because you want/need a sober partner to maintain your sobriety. And nobody should fault you should you need/want that in a partner.
"I can't be with someone who drinks if I'm going to maintain my sobriety and I NEED to maintain my sobriety" is not the same as "You are going to stop drinking." And the gulf between those two is not just a problematic tone.
Boundaries are healthy. Dictating the terms of living is not.
He always struck me as a control freak still fighting demons from his past, but I never would've guesssed he would be that horrible. I'm glad she felt comfortable enough to come out about it.
On the flip side, the post your responding to is a wonderful example of how someone can rationalize their abuser's behavior and not even realize it.
At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I'll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, "I'm so sorry, can we not tonight? I'm feeling really sick." He responded, "I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn't work out was because of the lack of sex." It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.
Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it "starfishing". He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I'm still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.
What exactly did he refer to as starfishing? Having sex with someone that was only barely willing to do so? Coercing his partner into sex when she doesn't feel like it?
Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it "starfishing". He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I'm still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.
What exactly did he refer to as starfishing? Having sex with someone that was only barely willing to do so? Coercing his partner into sex when she doesn't feel like it?
She might have to based on the comments on Twitter... But I suppose it depends on his response to this.
Never heard about this guy, but he needs to go to jail, especially when she has actual proof. Chloe surely could've left before everything began, but this is definetly not her fault at all. Fuck abusers.
I didn't know the term either. Apparently it's a thing:
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Starfishing
I think the just laying there sprawled out motionless like a starfish while he has sex with her
Don't be absurd. Even divorced from the context of the rest of this story, that was a demand, not a conversation. It's abusive, controlling behaviour, before the relationship's even begun.
That's a terrifying story, I commend the strength Chole has for posting all that, including incredibly private things.
I think one thing we should avoid is "oh I didn't like him but didn't know why well this settles it" because it undermines the fact that well liked people can also be predators/abusive.
I think one thing we should avoid is "oh I didn't like him but didn't know why well this settles it" because it undermines the fact that well liked people can also be predators/abusive.
No, but her dad is a pioneer in special effects. Won Academy Awards.
I honestly don't understand why she wouldn't. You're saying this person destroyed your life for 3 years, and you're willing to write this detailed account of how awful he was to you, BUT you don't want to release a single piece of audio or whatever to just make it abundantly clear for all to see.
She knows there will be doubters, she acknowledges it right in her post, so I don't see the harm in at least including one piece of hard evidence of this guy's awful behavior.
Huh, the term starfishing just took on a whole new context for me. I've heard several stories told by guys about hot girls who just lay there during sex.
Probably because they didn't want to have it.
Probably because they didn't want to have it.
I never thought he had any talent. I watched about 4 eps of Talking Dead before dropping the show.
Not at all surprising that he thought he was some A List celebrity people cared enough to listen to his convos with the GF.
No one gives a fuck about you, Chris.
Not at all surprising that he thought he was some A List celebrity people cared enough to listen to his convos with the GF.
No one gives a fuck about you, Chris.
Starfishing is when someone just lays down and spreads out, resembling a starfish. Just kinda going limp and letting it happen.
Yeah, just laying there. Which goes along with all the sexual assault when she didn't feel like it such as when she was sick but he threatened to leave her so she went along it to avoid losing him like a previous partner did.
Reading the rules in the O.P I was uneasy, but could kind of understand them given his celebrity and personality.
But after reading the whole thing, fuck that. Disgusting stuff.
But after reading the whole thing, fuck that. Disgusting stuff.
Not that far removed from the despicable shit that surfaced about R Kelly last year. Get him out the paint AMC.
You don't see the harm in her sharing tapes of her abuser for all to hear. For everyone to play and replay and could potentially be triggering for others. Not to mention, she's on those tapes as well so that might hurt her as well.
Maybe she doesn't want to share it for ALL. Maybe people she trusts, or authorities or just for herself.
Sounds like you just want it so you can believe her.
The fact that he named having sex with his barely willing partner is disturbed.
Somehow, I still have wonder if this will effect his career? It appears other woman are willing to speak out against his behavior.
I wonder if there will be a new host on Talking Dead or if he'll skate by and nothing will change?
Somehow, I still have wonder if this will effect his career? It appears other woman are willing to speak out against his behavior.
I wonder if there will be a new host on Talking Dead or if he'll skate by and nothing will change?
What the fuck, this completely tarnished him for me.
Damn and I liked watching The Wall (game show on NBC)
He was supposed to host another show on NBC also...
Wonder if they'll cut ties, it's all probably recorded already though.
Damn and I liked watching The Wall (game show on NBC)
He was supposed to host another show on NBC also...
Wonder if they'll cut ties, it's all probably recorded already though.