Theres absolute no shame. I completely understand too, I held it all in for years, didn't want to worry or stress friends and family with my "petty" shit etc. It's a horrible horrible thing to do to yourself. It's much better to be more open, talk through your problems. Get some perspective.
Man don't take this the wrong way, but you're full of shit. Your problems are obviously bothering you a lot otherwise you wouldn't be feeling this way, and fuck me man you'll be paying their ass (one way or another) to help plus it's their damned job. They're professionals and take their job seriously, they're not going to scold you for asking for help or think you're wasting their time.
I've been there, with the guilt. And then more because I let it fester. I was at a point I was trying to look into suicide methods that would let me donate my organs and remove all doubt about foul play etc. So they wouldn't go to waste. And trying to figure out how to tell my family it had nothing to do with them as to not hurt them (this is impossible btw), but in the end they were definitely what kept me from following through. I just couldn't do it to them. I'm really happy I didn't now. And Jesus, my miopic life experience leading up to that point, general inexperience with life itself was astounding. It's really all about getting some perspective about your situation, that you share this experience with a shocking amount of other people and there's a relief to that. Anyway, point really is here that a good therapist should hopefully be able to provide reflection of your situation a way that will give you a different perspective on your situation and start viewing the world differently. It can be a long process, but for me, I can't imagine not having done it. I'm so much healthier for doing it.
A therapist doesn't prescribe, that's a psychiatrist job. It's not as scary as it seems.
Bro you made this thread. Your issues are valid enough for you to go to a public forum and ask for help. They're affecting your daily life, and thus are obviously real enough to you--which is ultimately all that matters.
I will. Maybe, if it goes really bad I dunno what I'll do though feel like I'm at my last ropes here.
Take it as an excercise in self reflection. I was the kind of client that worked through my own problems. Using the therapist as a sounding board for my thoughts. Letting them help parse what may or may not be rational thoughts etc. Their response can be helpful, and they can be as heavily or little involved as you want, if they're good. Just remember they see a lot of people, they've likely seen a spread of just about everyone imaginable, so nothing is too little or too great for them to handle. They aren't there to pass judgement either, depression is very relative to people and their experience. So something that is trivial to one person. Is insurmountable to another and they get that and will help.
Shit dude it's five in the morning and I've been reading comics and munching firey Cheetos for the past 2 hours. You're hardly breaking up my super important time or anything, and I doubt anyone here feels differently. If people thought spending some time helping a dude through a tough spot they wouldn't be in this thread right now, so don't sweat it man.
I know it fucks with you, and everything is terrible at the moment.But it isn't an identity. It's something that happened and you have to talk about it.
I feel like I'm extremely open and honest with people and maybe too honest and then I regret even sharing anything and maybe that's why I get so hurt so often by these relationships ?
That's something that is going to come up .
I know. It's all going to come down to my self destructive tendencies and just admitting I'm a bad person :(
