I'm female and I have pretty little hands, especially compared to the average guy. I was initially really put off at the thought of the DS4 pad after coming from decades of Xbox controllers, in my head they were bad controllers. After using them, and getting used to the stick placement etc, I actually quite like it, I might even say it's a better fit for me than an Xbox pad. I can't get used to the buttons though, my brain is hardwired Y,B,X,A. The shapes still haven't sunk in at all, and I can just never remember which ones are which with L/R1,2,3, it seems much more sensible calling them stick, bumper, trigger! I like how the light bar changes colours for certain things, and I like that sound plays from it, it really adds to the immersion when it is implemented well.
I know they do an officially licenced controller here in the UK, Nacon Revolution Pro, a wired pad with style and stick layout matching an Xbox pad. It's expensive, I think about £90. I had intended on buying it, expecting to hate the DS4, but luckily I didn't end up needing it.