What? Women coming into a thread and explaining that "yes, this thing is totally sexist and problematic and here are all of the reasons why", but we get ignored anyway? Wow who would have guessed!
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Sleepwear brand removes kids "Boys Will Be Boys" pyjamas after complaint
- Thread starter Eduardo Corrochio
- Start date
If girls want to they could, no one is stopping them just don't force your child to do something she doesn't want to do cause you want to fight gender stereotypes.
I literally said little girls were being stopped from doing those things, right in the post you quoted.
??????
Well maybe people should point out the phrase is reserved for when they are young.
If a grown man assaults another man it's assault
When two friends come to blows just because they are pushing each other around being rough and it escalates, it's boys being boys.
If the boys are not friends it's bullying. It's on you to correct them.
Harmful gender stereotypes are stopping them.
A sexist society is stopping them
Here's an idea, how about you ask a woman who wants to roughhouse or play a sport or do "things boys do" about the reaction they get for that.
Parents are protective of their little princess? Idk what to tell you. If not that kids parent, I think injuries build character. I'm my daughter wants to play in mud she could. It will make for great pictures
Personally, I don't have a problem with the clothing item but I do understand why people don't like it.
Why the hell are you talking about adults?
I've been talking about kids for the last 3 pages. Maybe the mother doesn't want dirt on her girls dress. I mean shit common sense.
A woman who wants to rough house? They have women's roller derby, rugby, soccer, boxing, MMA, The list goes on. They can do whatever they want. No one is stopping them once they hit middle school when extra curricular is encouraged.
Little girls now a days are enrolled in karate at a young age and all sorts of sports. It's not like they don't have opportunities. If the parents don't want their kid getting hurt I'm not going to tell how to parent their kid. That's their life and decision.
The fact is sexism doesn't just spring up from no where, it is slowly cultivated over years and years. Small things like this phrase help it grow. Getting rid of it is a step in the right direction. And I don't see how you letting your daughter play in the mud negates the experience that tons of other women have had.
Of all the non issues that people focus on and great storm about nonsense, this is right up there.
A T-Shirt saying "Boys will be boys" Is of no measure being sexist, it's utterly ridiculous a child will be just wearing one to be be sexist. The Stupid adults will apply the stupid label. smh
Sexist? I mean really. People are honestly looking for reasons to fight at this stage, It's so moronic.
I'm talking about kids, you don't think gender stereotypes effect kids? Really?
And you really don't think society seeks to limit their opportunities by putting them in easily definable boxes that limit their potential because some young girls do karate? Do you know what institutional sexism is?
Yeah, and that shit is fucking stupid. I have a friend in my circle that thinks her daughter is a fucking princess, and my boys are rough little assholes... so when there's an altercation, it's just assumed that my boys started it. When in fact, their daughter is the one that is hyper aggressive and is the one friend that we know we can't let them play with alone.
I guarantee you this makes zero difference at all to anyone's lives, presently or in the future. This is so insignificant I have spent far too much time talking about how useless this is.
This isn't just gendered. It's excusing behavior based on the sex of the child.
You're saying institutional sexism makes no difference to people's lives, logic and history disagrees with you.
Dude from an early age I understood that simple phrases like "Boys will be boys" or "you throw like a girl" and other such gendered nonsense were sexist. And before you try to imply it was something I picked up from my parents let me stop you. Like you, they were incapable of understanding that kids can and will pick up on those meanings.
Many commonly used phrases have been hurtful or negative historically. Many of them have disappeared or are rarely used today because of pushback. Saying this will never change is short sighted, language always evolves as do expressions. Also the only reason it doesn't have the same ring is because you rarely hear it meanwhile boys will be boys is used constantly.
...that's what you think of when hearing this slogan? Really?
The world is filled with bigger problems than trying to police parents on how to talk. That's all I know.
I won't stop saying the phrase, but if you manage to convince your friends not to more power to you and the movement to change it. Just don't be surprised when they find the request ridiculous.
I openly hated cricket and football and my Father demolished me for that. Was he sexist? No, he was only diasspaointed.
I failed as a son in sports. ( I seriously tried, but was really crap )
It was never sexist. I was always the boy that will be a boy, I just wan't the one he wanted.
It broke my heart to not be what he wanted, we're cool now though decades later.
Boy's will be boy's, no matter if they are crap or good or bloody unicorns.
I see zero problem in the statement.
If he had an expectation you would like a sport because you're a boy then yes, he was sexist or a victim of institutional sexism, the very thing you're in here defending.
Because you're outright dismissing what people, including women are saying.
Do you have kids? Do you tell them they hit like a girl, or man up? Seriously, it's not that adults are offended, it's that we want a better world for our kids. One where parents don't treat boys and girls differently in expectations, or punishment (or lack thereof because fuck it, boys will be boys).
I do actually, try reading back, it's right there ;)
I have never ever subjected my own children to what I suffered, as I learned how difficult it was.
I honestly don't know how to explain it any better than I and several others have already explained it. At this point you are either trolling or just being willfully ignorant because actually thinking about these things and doing some self-reflection is too hard.
My thoughts exactly. When I see that shirt, I think about the dumb shit I used to do as a little boy, not an excuse for misogynist or abusive social behavior.
Just wanted to clarify that you didn't have hypothetical kids. Maybe more will learn how hard stereotypes can be on kids once we do away with toxic sayings that don't really reflect reality.
You do you man, not sure how after opening my heart in a way that I have never ever done before is not good enough.
But this is cool and stuff, I think, I hope.
It is just my opinion.
I think (yet again) the T-shirt is ok. I Encourage disagreement for the sake of discussion.
The reason I think it's ok (yet again) is that is on a child, who is innocent.
This is just the way I think about it, that's all. Kids are innocent, it's the adults that offend with how their opinions are.
Please try to parse this. I do my best to make sure my kids will never suffer for the same reason.
User Banned (1 Week): History of trolling contentious threads + dismissing concerns related to sexism and gender constructs
Krusty the Clown. Like duh.
Miss me with this dismissive bullshit, you don't know anyone in this thread personally or what we do to solve real-world issues.
It was apparently a mistake to think you were interested in any honest discussion.
Even if it's supposed to be harmless when it comes to a kid, it's giving them early conditioning to reduce responsibility for their actions. It doesn't even have to apply to rape, although it does have that connotation. People use it when they're being little shits running around screaming and annoying people, too. Tell your kid to fucking behave instead of being "oh he came into the house I just cleaned, covered in mud, teehee boys will be boys", while expecting little girls to be the pinnacle of politeness.
Ok for this post. Let's agree to disagree.
Hand on my heart ~I was genuine, it would be a shame you don't believe me but it's on the internet now.
My shame is public, enjoy.
No one is blaming the kids for wearing it (at least I hope not) and I wouldn't think horribly of a person who bought it for their kid either since most people just don't really think about these things. But kids do pick up on these messages and it can harm them. I heard things like "you throw like/hit like a girl." "don't be such a pussy" "this guys got balls (on response to someone doing something brave or cool)". We had no positive phrases with our gender used in it like boys did, our gendered phrases were all negative. That coupled with how girls were generally portrayed in media(as weak or stupid) meant that the message I absorbed at a very young age was that to be a girl means to be weak and inferior. I grew up hating the fact that I was a girl, that it didn't matter how smart I was, how tough I was, how kind or how good at something I was I would still be seen as less than a male. These messages do damage kids. But I am glad you are trying to keep your kids from suffering the things that you did, you shouldn't have had to put up with your father treating you the way he did.
I have never seen it used like this before. I live in The Netherlands and the only time I see it used in either English or Dutch is when young moms place it under a picture of their kid playing in the sand or something like that.
On one hand, it's not a big deal, on the other, it's not a big loss. Yeah there's a sort of sexist undertone there which is a good enough reason to not perpetuate the idea but in my experience I usually hear it used in the same context as "kids will be kids", a less troublesome phrase which is typically used to shrug off mischievous but ultimately harmless behavior. Campaigning against the phrase isn't necessarily wrong but I think we've got bigger fish to fry when it comes to misogyny.
What exactly do you mean by this? Please break it down for me. Are we to post every interaction we have or every protest we attend? You can go through my post history if you'd like where I talk about the "real world" things I do and have done for the causes I believe in, but I guess because you didn't see it it didn't happen. Also, is advocating for change online somehow not relevant to the "real world" which the internet is obviously a part of? The alt-right did pretty damn good for themselves on that front, you're absolutely right I'm going to do that for my side.
There are so many people here who work really hard IRL protesting, advocating, volunteering, you don't get to dismiss those experiences because you aren't aware of them, have you ever even asked anyone or are you just making blanket judgments?
Sorry but it chaps my ass when someone wants to dismiss a valid point by deflecting to "If you really cared you'd be doing/not doing X" which is just a terrible argument.
The phrase is the linguistic bedrock upon which selfish, harmful actions by men are excused throughout society. I have no issue with the manufacturer deciding not to offer it for sale anymore. Free market and all, isn't that what bloviating rightwing gasbags are always crying about?
This here. I didn't hear it from parents in that particular case, but I definitely heard it form others with regard to me (and others) being abused and bullied by others throughout my childhood.
It excuses way too much toxic behavior.
Fuck this phrase. I'm about to have a baby boy and "boys will be boys" is basically banned in thought and word.