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2020 Democratic Presidential Primary | OT | Biden Mulls Abrams as Running Mate

OP and list of candidates
Oct 25, 2017
3,582
#1
yas queen

Information
Any new information will be threadmarked, so check the small bar at the top of each page, under threadmarks, if you want to easily keep track of any and all major developments in the primary.



This thread is to serve as a unified thread for all discussions of the approximately twelve million people running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2020. I will try to keep the first post updated with short dossiers on every apparent candidate assuming I don't die of old age trying to finish listing them. Suggestions and submissions are encouraged. I will literally add anybody you send me to the list if you can make a good argument for it. I'm making the best effort I can to be neutral and mock each candidate equally, but if you don't find the jokes I wrote about your preferred candidate funny, feel free to submit alternatives and I will explain what I don't like about them.

IMPORTANT DATES
January 2019: The Democratic Party announces requirements for debate participation
June 2019: Forums and debates officially begin
February 3rd, 2020: Iowa caucus
February 11th, 2020: New Hampshire primary
February 22, 2020: Nevada caucus
February 29th, 2020: South Carolina primary
March 3rd, 2020: Super Tuesday

THE CANDIDATES
(alphabetically)


JOE BIDEN

Also Known As: Diamond Joe
Currently: Unemployed
Accomplishments: Thirty-odd years as Senator from Delaware, including Foreign Relations and Judicial experience. Ran for president twice and lost badly both times. Eight years as Barack Obama's vice president. Memes.
Policy Focus: Strongly opposes Brexit. Stop the privatization of the NHS. No, wait, sorry, those are Neil Kinnock's policies.
Website: https://bidenfoundation.org/
Strengths: Everybody knows who he is. Elaborate satire about his wild vice-presidential life distracts from the reality of his boring and inconsequential vice-presidential life.
Weaknesses: Remembers the old days when men were men and Democrats were also men.
Primary Status: Unofficially considering running.

JULIÁN CASTRO

Also Known As: Joaquin Castro
Currently: Unemployed, former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Accomplishments: Won the mayorship of San Antonio 50% of the times he ran for it.
Policy Focus: Since his political offices have all been citywide, presumably something like "San Antonio is great."
Strengths: Extremely popular with the constituency of former Democratic candidates for President. Beat his twin brother into the world by one minute and thus won the right to run for president before him.
Weaknesses: Managed to actually get criticized for violating the Hatch Act. Hasn't actually run for or won any federal or statewide office, something that is often a good idea before running for president.
Primary Status: Has formed an exploratory committee and has an upcoming announcement of...something on January 12th, 2019.

JOHN DELANEY

Also Known As: No, Not The Guy Who Had That TV Show, Delaney. With a D.
Currently: Unemployed, after not running for reelection to the House from Maryland's 6th district
Accomplishments: Successfully won a district that was explicitly gerrymandered to be winnable for him, then introduced legislation to end partisan gerrymandering. You have to admire the chutzpah.
Policy Focus: I genuinely have no idea.
Strengths: Founded multiple banks.
Weaknesses: Early contender for the Lincoln Chafee Memorial Award for the Candidate Whose Run for President is Least Explicable. This in an election cycle which also contains Julian Castro!
Primary Status: Has filed FEC papers and officially announced his candidacy for president.

KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND

Also Known As: Hillary From An Alternate Timeline Where She Did Fewer Crimes
Currently: Senator from New York
Accomplishments: Tacked right to win a conservative House district in New York, then way left after she was appointed Senator to replace Hillary. Successfully pushed for the repeal of DADT and the passage of the 9/11 Compensation Act, and wrote part of the STOCK Act.
Policy Focus: What's cool now? I support that. Back when I didn't support that it was because I was stupid.
Website: https://kirstengillibrand.com/
Strengths: Terrifyingly adept at identifying the maximally left position she can safely take and taking it while other senators are still declining comment. With her comments that Bill should've resigned, killed all her MeToo darlings already.
Weaknesses: America is ready for a woman president, but maybe not this particular woman. Lots of Democrats are still mad at her for suggesting a sexual harasser should resign. Wait, what?
Primary Status: Unofficially considering running.

KAMALA HARRIS

Also Known As: Yas Attorney General
Currently: Senator from California
Accomplishments: Attorney General of California for six years before successfully running to replace Barbara Boxer. Yelled at a bunch of dummies in her official senate capacity.
Policy Focus: Trump is bad.
Website: https://kamalaharris.org/
Strengths: Reminds people of Barack Obama for some reason. No, YOU'RE racist.
Weaknesses: America is ready for a woman president, but maybe not this particular woman. "I was only following orders" maybe not the best defense for her actions as CA Attorney General.
Primary Status: Unofficially considering running. Said she would decide over the recent holidays whether to run.

JAY INSLEE

Also Known As: The Governor in the North
Currently: Governor of Washington
Accomplishments: Served eight terms in the House before becoming governor. Supported the Green New Deal back in 2002 when it was called the New Apollo Project. Introduced legislation to impeach Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for doing Trump stuff before it was cool.
Policy Focus: Technology is good. Climate change must be stopped. Trump is bad.
Website: https://www.jayinslee.com/home
Strengths: Has literally been staunchly progressive for longer than many forumgoers have been alive. Right about everything if only people had listened to him before it was too late.
Weaknesses: If he's so great, why is the Hanford Nuclear Reservation still there?
Primary Status: Has begun forming an exploratory committee to run for president.

BETO O'ROURKE

Also Known As: Senator Calf Cramper
Currently: Texas Senator runner-up
Accomplishments: I just said he was the Texas Senator runner-up. But seriously, given that he ran in Texas he kept it very close, raised a lot of money and helped a lot of other candidates over the finish line.
Policy Focus: Basically the mainstream Democratic Party platform. Not the parts about oil.
Website: https://betofortexas.com/
Strengths: Through some superhuman act of will manages to livestream constantly without yelling racial slurs. Feist was a big fan of his band. Obama has anointed his head with holy oil, crowning him the true king of the Democratic Party, according to sources familiar with the holy oil.
Weaknesses: Texas Senator runner-up.
Primary Status: Unofficially considering running.

BERNIE SANDERS

Also Known As: The Curb Your Enthusiasm Guy
Currently: Independent Senator from Vermont
Accomplishments: Longest-serving Independent in Congressional history. Second place in the 2016 Democratic presidential primary. Moved the party significantly leftwards on many issues. Marched with Martin Luther King Jr.
Policy Focus: Socialism is good. Break up the big banks.
Website: https://berniesanders.com/
Strengths: Is a socialist. Can control birds with his mind. As the second best candidate in 2016, arguably the logical establishment choice.
Weaknesses: Not actually a Democrat. Not actually not a Democrat. Martin Luther King Jr. turns out to have been dead for some time.
Primary Status: Unofficially considering running.

ELIZABETH WARREN

Also Known As: The Persister
Currently: Senator from Massachusetts
Accomplishments: Chaired the Congressional Oversight Panel for managing TARP. Yelled at banks a lot. Successfully led an advocacy campaign for the creation of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, then, when Republicans blocked her from being appointed to it, ran for office instead and won.
Policy Focus: Financial regulation. Consumer protection.
Website: https://elizabethwarren.com
Strengths: Actually gets a lot done. Willing to just call people bad guys when they, for instance, melt down the global economy with a massive mortgage fraud conspiracy.
Weaknesses: America is ready for a woman president, but maybe not this particular woman. Has the proportionate strength, speed, and Native American ancestry of a white person.
Primary status: Has formed a presidential exploratory committee.

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
Sorry, your heart does not support the clarifying power of pure love, which is necessary to view this content. Please consult your vendor for a firmware update.


ANDREW YANG

Also Known As: Democratic Mitt Romney
Currently: Rich
Accomplishments: Founded Venture For America, which is like AmeriCorps but for startups. Has a bunch of honorariums from Obama for being one of the good ones. No, I mean one of the good rich people.
Policy Focus: Universal Basic Income. Human capitalism, whatever that means.
Website: https://www.yang2020.com/
Strengths: Politically inexperienced billionaires are in this year. Doesn't want to coerce workers with starvation.
Weaknesses: Partly that's because he already got rich coercing workers with starvation, so you wonder about his commitment.
Primary status: Has officially declared his intention to run for president.

ELIMINATED CANDIDATES

Michael Avenatti
Deval Patrick
Martin O'Malley

RICHARD OJEDA
(Also Known As: The Most Liberal Man in West Virginia
Currently: West Virginia State Senator from the 7th district
Accomplishments: Took a lot of credit for the teacher's strike in West Virginia. Didn't lose by nearly as much as Democrats usually lose by in West Virginia when he ran for the House.
Policy Focus: What if Democrats were more like Republicans?
Website: https://voteojeda.com/
Strengths: Popular with the military due to being shaped approximately like a bullet.
Weaknesses: Voted for Donald Trump in 2016. I mean, cmon.
Primary Status: Has filed FEC papers and officially begun his candidacy for president.)
 
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JayC3

bork bork
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
1,363
#7
I don't really have a favorite, so I just hope we have a spirited vetting process that gives us a battle-tested candidate to run against the Republican nominee. That said, I'll vote for any Democrat in the general, even a potato.
 
Dec 26, 2018
3,512
#9
Biden, he's been inching closer and closer to getting that presidential exploratory committee together. While simultaneously imploding in the media every chance he can get away with.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,477
#13
Weaknesses: America is ready for a woman president, but maybe not this particular woman. Has the proportionate strength, speed, and Native American ancestry of a white person.
Thanks asshole, I laughed so loud I nearly woke up the entire house. 😂😂😂
 

JayC3

bork bork
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
1,363
#20
To be honest, I was looking forward to reading pigeon's write-up on Jill Stein because there's a wealth of material there. But doh, I forgot that she's part of the Green Party.
 
Dec 26, 2018
3,512
#22
To be honest, I was looking forward to reading pigeon's write-up on Jill Stein because there's a wealth of material there. But doh, I forgot that she's part of the Green Party.
I'm sure she'll support Trump or Pence or whoever makes it to 2020 in the general, so we just have to wait. That is unless she did something that makes Mueller want to put her behind bars.
 
Oct 25, 2017
274
#24
RICHARD OJEDA

Also Known As: The Most Liberal Man in West Virginia
Currently: West Virginia State Senator from the 7th district
Accomplishments: Took a lot of credit for the teacher's strike in West Virginia. Didn't lose by nearly as much as Democrats usually lose by in West Virginia when he ran for the House.
Policy Focus: What if Democrats were more like Republicans?
Website: https://voteojeda.com/
Strengths: Popular with the military due to being shaped approximately like a bullet.
Weaknesses: Voted for Donald Trump in 2016. I mean, cmon.

Primary Status: Has filed FEC papers and officially begun his candidacy for president.
Nice.
 
Oct 25, 2017
6,144
#25
It feels like the only reason anyone wants Beto is because so far he’s the only hopeful that caused slight excitement in a recent race.

Just doesn’t feel like he’s the one to win it.

Hoping more candidates show up.
 
Oct 25, 2017
505
#28
Not going to throw my eggs in one basket too early on who I want, I like (and have a few concerns) about several potential candidates.

If it ends up being Diamond Joe or Bernie though...please please choose Harris as your running mate and pledge one term.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,182
#33
broadly speaking i'm okay with most of the shortlisters. will be another year before i can conceive of backing a horse

unless the party nominates a serious clunker it's ultimately america's decision whether it wants to un-derpify itself or not
 
Nov 2, 2017
1,102
Outside
#37
Robert weakness:
  • Billionaire father-in-law
  • Charter school administrator wife
  • "A March O’Rourke profile in the Dallas Morning News said the candidate’s father, the late Pat O’Rourke, who was elected El Paso’s county judge, “once explained why he nicknamed his son Beto: Nicknames are common in Mexico and along the border, and if he ever ran for office in El Paso, the odds of being elected in this mostly Mexican-American city were far greater with a name like Beto than Robert Francis O’Rourke. It was also a way,” the story said, “to distinguish him from his maternal grandfather, Robert Williams.”"
    https://www.statesman.com/news/2018...ed-and-robert-orourke-by-beto?template=ampart
 
Last edited:
Dec 5, 2018
176
#39
I would say Beto has the best shot at taking Trump out of office but man would it be amazing if Harris beat him, considering she is a POC woman
 
Oct 25, 2017
238
#42
Can't
"A March O’Rourke profile in the Dallas Morning News said the candidate’s father, the late Pat O’Rourke, who was elected El Paso’s county judge, “once explained why he nicknamed his son Beto: Nicknames are common in Mexico and along the border, and if he ever ran for office in El Paso, the odds of being elected in this mostly Mexican-American city were far greater with a name like Beto than Robert Francis O’Rourke. It was also a way,” the story said, “to distinguish him from his maternal grandfather, Robert Williams.”"
https://www.statesman.com/news/2018...ed-and-robert-orourke-by-beto?template=ampart
How is this a con against Beto?
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,216
#44
Harris or O'Rourke pls
Not sure if Beto would make a good VP seeing how it’s more of an advising role, but the other way around could work

I could only really see him being VP for Biden if he is only seeking one term. Could serve as a launchpad for Beto 2024 if successful. Also, make Biden’s nickname Diamond Joe please
 
Last edited:
Oct 25, 2017
5,943
Western Canada
#47
Robert weakness:
Billionaire father-in-law
Charter school administrator wife
"A March O’Rourke profile in the Dallas Morning News said the candidate’s father, the late Pat O’Rourke, who was elected El Paso’s county judge, “once explained why he nicknamed his son Beto: Nicknames are common in Mexico and along the border, and if he ever ran for office in El Paso, the odds of being elected in this mostly Mexican-American city were far greater with a name like Beto than Robert Francis O’Rourke. It was also a way,” the story said, “to distinguish him from his maternal grandfather, Robert Williams.”"
https://www.statesman.com/news/2018...ed-and-robert-orourke-by-beto?template=ampart


Better throw him in the eliminated list, OP.
 
Oct 25, 2017
274
#49
Robert weakness:
Billionaire father-in-law
Charter school administrator wife
"A March O’Rourke profile in the Dallas Morning News said the candidate’s father, the late Pat O’Rourke, who was elected El Paso’s county judge, “once explained why he nicknamed his son Beto: Nicknames are common in Mexico and along the border, and if he ever ran for office in El Paso, the odds of being elected in this mostly Mexican-American city were far greater with a name like Beto than Robert Francis O’Rourke. It was also a way,” the story said, “to distinguish him from his maternal grandfather, Robert Williams.”"
https://www.statesman.com/news/2018...ed-and-robert-orourke-by-beto?template=ampart
I think he should retire his candidacy before this scandal blows up
/s
 

Geist

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,697
#50
Too early for me to put all my support behind someone but a Harris/Beto 2020 ticket would be a dream.