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30+ Era, what do you do to keep learning, growing, and developing as a person?

Oct 25, 2017
4,450
#51
For men, our brain develops into an adult when we hit our 30s ;)

For me, reading, travelling, eating well, working out and a lot of introspection on how much i've still got to achieve. Im mulling over enrolling for a masters actually. But my day to day i do try to read studies on topics that resonate with me, and then challenge my own beliefs no matter how uncomfortable that may be.
 
Dec 21, 2018
354
#52
Audible nonfiction books (I have a direct link bookmarked I check every1-2 months)

thegreatcoursesplus

Edx/coursera

Make your own audiobook from scholar ebooks. I use Amazon polly.

Youtube videos round out the rest. Youtube actually have a lot of specific knowledge focused videos and talks.
 

mooshie78

Self-requested ban
Member
Sep 16, 2018
2,166
#54
I turned 40 last year. Most of my continued learning is just a result of being a professor and needing to keep up with research and policy in my field to be up to date in teaching and able to do good research that gets accepted by decent scholarly journals and so on.

I’m pretty mentally exhausted by that so I don’t read much nonfiction or explore new hobbies/skills too much. I mostly want to veg out and relax in my free time.
 
Oct 27, 2017
359
London and France
#55
I'm 2 months away from 37

I workout at least 5-6 times a week, that'll likely shorten to 2-3 as I get back into Jiu-Jitsu soon. I'll read, practice the guitar, practice archery, and take plenty of smaller day/weekend trips with my wife, and meditate. I'll also have some board game nights with friends. And of course, I'll play videogames after work to relax before my wife and I get into the regular routine of making dinner, doin' dishes, etc.

For me, I think it's important to have both a physical and a creative hobby. Especially if that hobby can take you outdoors (for me, that's archery). So there's always something to learn between martial arts, guitar, and archery.

All of them have helped me in some form or another. Jiu-Jitsu and meditation have helped me confront my anxiety and work to lessen it.
I might be guessing wrong but I suspect you don’t have kids ? Correct me if wrong because if you do all that and raise kids etc please for the love of all that holy. Share your routine and secrets please. For me I listen to podcasts play video games when o can read and go for walks. Other times I am taking care of my tiny humans when not working.
 
Oct 26, 2017
601
#56
I might be guessing wrong but I suspect you don’t have kids ? Correct me if wrong because if you do all that and raise kids etc please for the love of all that holy. Share your routine and secrets please. For me I listen to podcasts play video games when o can read and go for walks. Other times I am taking care of my tiny humans when not working.
haha, great guess. My wife and I decided kids weren't for us. I doubt I'd be able to do all that I do if we had kids.
 
Jan 9, 2018
138
#57
-I have studied and gotten my A+ and Net+ and found a desire to switch careers.
-I have made it a point to develop male friendships outside of work. I'm kinda a shy guy so its been tough to try to expand outside of the friend group I have always had. In the past my friends have just been the husbands of my wive's friends, but I have made it a point to cultivate friendships outside of that.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,294
#59
I make sure I set concrete goals for what I hope to achieve. It also helps that my wife is focused on self improvement as well.

Just last year I ran my first 5k, lost 30 pounds, wrote the first draft of a novel, and finished another year of grad school.

Not every year will be as productive, I'm sure, but it's nice to know that at 34 I'm still doing completely new things.
 
Oct 25, 2017
456
#61
Audible books during my commute, both fiction and non-fiction.
Just finished a master's degree, which was both engaging and stressful.
Keeping up with various IT certifications and training, micro-credentials, etc.
 

Jogi

Member
Jul 4, 2018
61
#62
Started yoga. Such a game changer. Increases productivity in literally everything I do, in much better shape both mentally and physically and anxiety is waaaaay more manageable than it ever was.
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,365
Boston
#63
i turned 30 a few weeks ago which prompted me to do a lot of personal reevaluation. coming to grips with my tendency to isolate myself and reinforce bad habits.

things I've found useful so far
  • constantly push yourself to do things you aren't sure you can do, and preferably outdoors or physical. personally I started signing up for 5Ks, have two under my belt and already improved my mile pace from 10m to 9m, and hoping to see more improvement in the 3 other races I'm signed up for over the next few months. I'm doing a 180 mile cycling race as part of an office team in the summer as well. I've been losing a lot of weight in the process and feeling the healthiest I have since I was college, and family and friends have taken notice
  • fill your time with activities, preferably with friends or with new people. been participating in a music group where I play cello and bass guitar and it's been a lot of fun getting to perform with people. also, got myself out on the dating world after spending my 20s suffering from extremely low self esteem. already met somebody I like a lot
things I intend to do
  • travel more. i've put a lot of these grand plans on the back burner because i've felt like it's sad to travel alone, but I've been thinking about putting some of these ideas into motion soon, especially so if I get into a relationship and suddenly have a travel partner
  • read more. my attention span has been kind of messed up over the years since college so its been hard to just finish a book. now that i'm playing video games a bit less i want to devote that time to being able to relax with a book
 

Blue

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
3,427
Greenville, South Carolina
#65
I bought an instrument and am taking lessons. I am training to become a wildlife rehabilitation volunteer (I pick up a family of baby possums this afternoon). I continue to pursue certifcations and what not in my field. Last year I became a SC Master Naturalist!
 

Deleted member 45957

Guest
#68
Passed a master's degree at 35. While I was mediocre at best in school when I was younger, my older me actually did very well and I discovered that knowledge was one of my main drive in life. I am now considering a PhD and will probably do it once I find a worthy subject of study.
I don't have kids and probably never will though, which gives me enough time for studying and introspection.
Can't blame young parents with a full time job to struggle with their self improvement.
 
Oct 29, 2017
249
#69
Excellent what self learning tips do you have ?
I'm not sure if I'm the best person to be giving tips to be honest. I still haven't taken the exam but I do feel confident about it.

  • To start with I am genuinely interested in learning a new language so that helps with my application to the task.
  • I try to do something everyday, regardless of how little it is. Just to keep it ticking over.
  • I started with a good book on grammar. Went through it front to back twice.
  • Started in the Alliance-Francaise and that really helps with the oral / listening element (still not great at it though)
  • I like to use Duolingo (305 day streak right now). It won't make you fluent but it is good for vocabulary and revision.
  • Mainly, though I just do something each day - write a paragraph on my day, write a fake postcard or email
  • I'm interested in football so read FranceFootball.fr and listen to some podcasts (News in slow French being a good one)
  • Oh, and I'm reading 'Le tour du Monde en 80 jours'. Seems about my level.
Again, this is just me but it is working for me I feel.
 
Oct 29, 2017
87
#70
The person you are at 30 is pretty much who you are for the rest of your life

Nope. I’m 40 and I much prefer the person I am now than who I was when I was 30 (though I’ll happily take the years back).

If anything, I’d say that one’s 20s are overrated and that, if you take care of yourself and maintain an open mind, one’s 30s and 40s have the potential to be some of the best years of one’s life.
 
Nov 1, 2017
3,002
#72
Podcasts, audio books, reading on the bus, writing when I have time, and trying to avoid 2am existential dread of worrying about my kids going into the world alone if I die tomorrow, and myself feeling totally alone at the prospect of my own parents dying and my closest friends being 600 KM away.

Soooo...a lot of disappearing into books and words these days. And trying to eat better and exercise more of course. Just hard with full-time work, 2 kids, a mortgage, and family or friend commitments almost every weekend w my wife acting as a social calendar.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,737
#73
I find what works best is to dig my heels in and remain stubborn AF in any situation. Oh and talking over people is the best way to learn something and work well with others.

/sarcasm

On a more serious note I make short dot point lists daily and make yearly goals my wife and I share with each other. Personally in the last 5 years I have focusing heavily on actually listening more than talking, especially with those close to you. I'm continually working on physical activity and better eating as that's my slack area TBH, I/we enjoy the outdoors and push myself/wife as much as we can. Wifey and I align that kids should experience as much as we can deliver while they're growing up e.g. sport, outdoors, travel, food, people, culture, education etc.

Kids are a great background motivator in many areas of my life to push, improve and take the initiative to actionable follow through. If I was without kids and/or wifey I'd be chilling with my company, dog and video games. I far prefer family life and full days.

One of the biggest changes in the last decade has been shifting my personality from "tomorrow" for "today". Live in the present and do it today when you think of it.
 
#76
I think the trick is to keep learning and challenging yourself.

Since I work in IT I have no choice. It changes so fast.

It's hard. Specially with two children and a busy job. I take a day off every two weeks. But if you don't have that luxery it's really hard.
 
Dec 10, 2017
1,793
#77
I'm turning 40 in a few weeks and have been spending a fair amount of time thinking about the kind of person I've become and the kind of person I'd like to be. Like most people (I think), there's definitely some misalignment between the two. My job requires a lot of learning and development, which I enjoy, but I haven't worked on that kind of stuff as much as I should in my personal life. I know some people who basically just go to work, come home and sit in front of the TV all night, and do the same thing again the next day. No judgment if that makes them happy, but it's not how I want to live my life (and I don't). I've been trying to learn Spanish, I frequently push myself to learn new things in the kitchen, and I try to do new and interesting things when the opportunity comes along, but I feel like I should be more proactive about it. I was curious what the older members of the board here do to keep growing as human beings.
I recently turned 30 and I've been dealing with the same thoughts for a couple years. I always wanted my job to be meaningful and while that's definitely the case, working in general drains me to the extent I can't do any of the things I've always wanted to do like become really good at playing the piano, learning another language and reading a lot of literature. I just work, get home and need plenty of rest to recover, repeat. I feel like I stopped growing the moment I graduated. I will definitely need to find a way out of this.

The only way to resolve this would be to either find a job that doesn't require much effort or work part-time.
 
Oct 30, 2017
10,156
#78
I've actually started to get into fitness the last few years, hoping to scale it up and really get some results

I also have crippling social anxiety, I'm not expecting that to change, but I'm hoping i'll be able to have some semblance of functionality in society soon

For some reason I'm really unambitious in life, even though I've said I'm getting into fitnes, and that's true, I also don't take care of myself, nor do I feel likei should, I just simply don't care. Ive been going to a therapist because of my social anxiety and the fact that I've had suicidal thoughts for years, but I dunno, we'll see what happens. Maybe I will get diagnosed with something and medication can help, hopefully things get better
 
Last edited:
Oct 27, 2017
5,854
#79
It's easy to fall into a habit of coasting in your thirties. I was guilty of that 30 to about 35. You figure you have an education, you have experience, so why keep going back to the well? Until you meet some young 22 year hotshot and she knows five times as much as you and is hungry in the way you only fondly remember being.

I use online learning. I also make use of my employer's tuition reimbursement. Just one class at a time. I don't have time for more, despite how much I post here. :)
 
#80
no matter how many i get something wrong, the faster i get back up and try again the faster i will overcome that thing... even if it takes a thousand tries. and in the end as long as im doing a thing i actually like doing, or i know its getting to a goal to do something i love, then its worth it to keep trying as many time as it takes

over complicated way of saying never quit
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,720
Canada
#81
The best advice I have to offer is this, and it applies to any age:

Don’t express your opinion about every god-damn thing that comes your way.
An opinion, in some respects, is a defense against new information by putting your perspective on information out into the world, to be challenged first and enriched as an after-thought. Take the time to form an opinion, make it well-rounded and if you must express something, ask a question, instead, even if you think you’ve got the answer. It plays a neat trick with your brain where you become a bit more receptive to new information just by asking a question in lieu of stating an opinion.
 
Oct 26, 2017
330
#82
I have nine month old so not much outside of raising him for the moment. I have started to put a lot of effort in to cocking lately, I used to eat whatever and not care about it too much but I've changed that and it does add a lot of value to life and I've started to exercise a lot so that's good for both mind and body.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,411
Netherlands
#85
What I did when I was 38: I worked as an head editor at a busines IT magazine. I was always on the "left activisit" pokitical spectrum, but wanted to expand my world. So to challenge my own believes I started taking classes in the militiary academy as a civillian, since they just opened up their courses for civillians. I did that while also working full time.

Sitting their taking classes on human safety and system security surrounded by military personell while being very sceptical and vocal on the military at the same time was weird and a bit creepy, but ultimately very full filling. I learned a lot from the classes, but also how my own thinking wasn't as black and white as I thought it was. I met new people I wouldn't have met otherwise and ultimately it brought me a great career change and a lot of happiness.

I nowe see constantly challenging what you think you know and what you believe as a big factor in growing as a person. Step out of bounds and do something totally weird and uncomfortable. Even if it ultimately end up as something not really for you, the experience always teaches you a lot about yourself.
 
Dec 17, 2017
144
#86
Try to be active, no matter what. Produce something, don't be disappointed if it sucks, continue to grow and become better.

I just bought a canvas, acrylcolors and brushes. And I probably will suck at it.
My wife started sawing recently.

Just try something and try to find a balance between focusing on physical and cognitive production.

edit: Don't confuse cognitive growth with "learning" new stuff or reading. How about going into local social situations, city managements or take part it different social activities. You won't stop growing if you have something to compare yourself or your views with.
 
Oct 25, 2017
902
#89
Exercise nearly every day.

Try to read as often as possible.

Keep an open mind to other people. Be willing to listen and not just insert your two cents at every junction.

Have been slowly trying to teach myself Spanish.

Travel. Travel is the most important one for me. Lately we haven’t been traveling very much because of an upcoming wedding. But, when I am traveling it feels like the soul of my body is whole. Even if it’s just driving an hour away to somewhere I’ve never been.
 
Oct 27, 2017
213
#90
I'm doing a degree with a view to becoming a primary school teacher. Iv'e been working in education for 8 years so I figured I may as well use that experience for something.

I got engaged a few days ago so I'm entering a new stage in my life with a lot of new experiences heading my way.
 
Mar 28, 2018
34
#91
I turn 40 in a week. A year or so ago I got big into the personal development kick. Trying to move forward at work while simultaneously becoming semi-pro at some hobbies. But at some point I just found it exhausting. When I get home now I just play with my kids till bed time, then do something I enjoy. Games. A TV show. Sleep/sex. But I avoid learning or working like the devil.

My boss still spend his evenings reading non fiction self help books though, and makes condescending remarks if I mention any movies or tv... So... To each their own.
 
Oct 27, 2017
18
#92
I think that when you are open to things there is always something new to learn. The past year i've been learning a lot about myself, people, the world. Things are never as simple and easy as one would assume based on what meets the eye.

There is always an underlying reason. "Why did that guy that used to work at the supermarket act the way he did", "Why did the girl who seemed nice enough do what she did". Once you get it, it's really one of those "AH-moments".

I learned a lot about myself this year, things i couldn't make sense of before now do. I understand now why i did what i did, and do what i do.. When you really learn that about yourself, your good sides and bad ones, if you allow yourself to be vunerable, you will be able to find a way to be truly at peace with what is. You will get to see the beauty behind all interactions, big or small. Learn to feel love and care for people with all their strenghts and weaknesses. Feel connected to the world and feel happy you get to play your little part in it. And it's pretty neat tbh.
 
Oct 25, 2017
584
#93
Randomly started recording at a local studio, and it gave me an outlet creatively that has changed my life. I've learned a lot, and the quality and complexity of my songs have grown a lot in a really short time.

I go to therapy once or twice a month, it helps me look at the world in a healthy way. The ability to just openly talk to someone without judgement, it's improved so many areas and relationships in my life.

The one area I want to change is exercise, I'm thinking about biting the bullet and getting a personal trainer and really changing that aspect of my life.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,304
#94
I read leadership books to better myself.

Accept feedback from people around you even if you don't like or agree with it. Our self-awareness is usually not good. We always believe otherwise.

Get a few people to be a mentor to you. Run decisions by them and get their opinions on how they would handle the same situation. Surround yourself with good people and you will be a better person
Have any titles you'd like to share? Always looking for more reading material.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,304
#95
I'm currently studying for the CPA exam, but after that...I plan on learning the piano, maybe playing some tennis. Might start something with my wife like that just to keep active.

I really would love so many hobbies, but not enough time in the day and working/CPA studying is really taking most of my time.

I used to play a lot of video games, but that slowly died out for me. There is not much that interests me.