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30 years old and up single Era, do you ever want to get married and/or have kids?

Married, kids, both or neither?

  • Just married

    Votes: 189 27.4%
  • Just kid(s)

    Votes: 21 3.0%
  • Both

    Votes: 210 30.4%
  • Neither

    Votes: 270 39.1%

  • Total voters
    690

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
For those who have never been married and have no kids, and are 30+, do you plan on it in the future? Why or why not? Adoption counts as having kids, of course :) It is of course okay if you want to find a life partner but not get married, just explain why that is your choice in your post. I know the 30+ thing is weird, but I chose it specifically because us 30 something's have reasons why we aren't married and have no kids (a lot of people do these things in their mid to late 20's), but that doesn't mean we want to be that person the rest of our lives, and I thought that'd be an interesting discussion to have.

Personally, I'm still on the fence about actual marriage. To go through the whole license and contract of marriage just sounds so superficial and bizarre to me. I'd rather find a life partner and just agree we'll be faithful and stay with each other. If, however, I found one like that and she really wanted to get married, for whatever reason, then I would have no problem with that, at all.

As for kids, if I found that life partner and she wanted to have them, I would also be down for that. I'd try to convince her we should adopt at least one child because I know there are so many out there who need and would appreciate a family. I wouldn't, however, adopt if I was single. I feel I'm definitely going to need a wing-woman for that lol, but who knows I may change my mind in the future.

So, I guess to answer the poll, no, I don't want to get married or have kids, but I'm not totally against it.
 

Acorn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,233
Scotland
Sure, if I was with someone that wanted kids and a marriage. Personally ambivalent about marriage. In terms of kids all my cousin's with my surname are women so if I don't have a kid my family name dies, it's a weird feeling.
 

P-Bo

Member
Jun 17, 2019
279
Both options are still a fantasy of mine, but slowly fading the more I realize my inability to live with others (among other things).
 

Arjen

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
974
With my current girlfriend is the first time I can see myself getting married and having kids.
 

Mendrox

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,392
Getting married with the right woman is good in my book. Getting kids nowadays? Nya. It's not like I don't want one, but I can't do that to them because of the future (and also because our generation already got fucked in every single thing housing, money. climate etc.).
 
Oct 25, 2017
10,764
No kids, no legal marriage. I don’t like kids and I don’t want to be second place behind them(I’ve read too many dating profiles of women saying that their kids mean the world to them and they’ll always come first.) Also kids being born now are heading towards a really fucked up future. I’m not putting someone through that.

And marriage is just dumb.
 

jon bones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,994
NYC
No kids, no legal marriage. I don’t like kids and I don’t want to be second place behind them(I’ve read too many dating profiles of women saying that their kids mean the world to them and they’ll always come first.) Also kids being born now are heading towards a really fucked up future. I’m not putting someone through that.

And marriage is just dumb.
good for you for understanding yourself enough to make this call. i love my wife & kids so this thread doesn't apply to me, but i've known dads who get real bitchy when their wives show more affection to their kids than them. it's not a good look
 

Doober

The Fallen
Jun 10, 2018
2,331
I'm divorced at 33 and yeah, I'd like to try again sometime. So far the dating pool at my age and in my area needs chlorine, though.
 

hjort

Member
Nov 9, 2017
1,591
I'd love to find someone to raise a family with, at this point. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't. Not interested in getting married, though, as I don't believe in marriage. Might get married for the added financial security that comes with it, or if it's very important to my partner, but I'd rather not.
 
OP
OP
Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
Sure, if I was with someone that wanted kids and a marriage. Personally ambivalent about marriage. In terms of kids all my cousin's with my surname are women so if I don't have a kid my family name dies, it's a weird feeling.
yeah i can only imagine, my brother had two boys so my grandpa let me off the hook. dad never pressured me though. don't sweat it man, it's really just hard wired into our dna to procreate. it's as close to invincibility as we can get. if it comes down to it, maybe adopt? even though it's not your blood line you can at least pass on what you've learned :)

Both options are still a fantasy of mine, but slowly fading the more I realize my inability to live with others (among other things).
don't lose hope my dude. i've isolated myself for along time, fell into alcohol addiction and drug abuse, developed social anxiety issues, almost went off the deep end into some kind of weird schizophrenic episode (i was seeing faces every where, hearing voices and acting paranoid towards everyone), i even burned bridges with all my best friends, except one. i found a way out and i know you can too, just gotta keep mustering up all your courage, get your hands dirty and push on through the nite. the place where you are now will not be the same for the rest of your life.

No kids, no legal marriage. I don’t like kids and I don’t want to be second place behind them(I’ve read too many dating profiles of women saying that their kids mean the world to them and they’ll always come first.) Also kids being born now are heading towards a really fucked up future. I’m not putting someone through that.

And marriage is just dumb.
agreed on the marriage bit. my cousin just had a wedding and our entire family was there for a 4 day extravaganza and... i mean, my god, i can only imagine how many tens of thousands of dollars it cost them. but even regardless of the money, i don't see the point in doing it. it's just one of those weird pointless traditions. then again i'm not christian so...
 

ezodagrom

Member
Oct 25, 2017
858
Portugal
Neither.
32, not married and haven't dated either, I have no plans whatsoever when it comes to this, if it happens it happens, but I'm fully prepared to not find a SO (since I'm not searching for one).
 

eXistor

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,503
Neither, I'm simply not the right person for it. I have no interest in relationships or kids. If a relationship happens, it happens, but I'm not looking for it.
 

HackTheSlash

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,008
Im 43. Never married. No kids. I think that ship has sailed.

Im also in a shit pool for dating cause i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. And about 2 years ago i moved my folks into my house to help them as they are getting older and not in the best of shape. And i can tell ya, women hate that. They see it as a 40+ year old dude living with his parents.

Been feeling pretty lonely as of late. And mostly given up. And become rather apathetic to the whole idea.
 

kittens

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,263
I might adopt or take care of foster kids someday, but I don't really believe in marriage so I'm gonna avoid that one.
 

Bad_Boy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,892
Maybe if i can get out of debt lol. I wouldnt want anyone else to inherit my problems.
 

Doober

The Fallen
Jun 10, 2018
2,331
Im 43. Never married. No kids. I think that ship has sailed.

Im also in a shit pool for dating cause i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. And about 2 years ago i moved my folks into my house to help them as they are getting older and not in the best of shape. And i can tell ya, women hate that. They see it as a 40+ year old dude living with his parents.
I worry about this. My parents are pushing 60 and are developing health issues and here I am, the bachelor second son. I'd do anything for them, mind you, as they were great parents and family is family but yeah, women can be pretty harsh - and hyprocritical, I've noticed - in their judgment of a man's living arrangements.

I just know I wouldn't want them to have to move into a nursing home unless there was no other option.
 
Dec 24, 2017
1,723
After I got cancer, I just don't feel good about being in a long term relationship, given the possibility that I may die sooner than anyone thinks. Needless to say, that definitely extends to having children. Totally unfair to check out on a kid when they are young. I live a weird lonely life as a result. I date casually, and sometimes definitely long for something more long term, but I have to take a step back. But, its my new normal now.
 

ascii42

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,066
I'd like to get married and have kids, but I'm 33 and have never even been in a relationship, so it's increasingly unlikely.
 

MazeHaze

Member
Nov 1, 2017
3,395
Hell naw. I like getting off work and doing whatever the fuck I feel like. I already barely have time for the hobbies I enjoy, and I dont like kids at all.
 

HackTheSlash

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,008
I worry about this. My parents are pushing 60 and are developing health issues and here I am, the bachelor second son. I'd do anything for them, mind you, as they were great parents and family is family but yeah, women can be pretty harsh - and hyprocritical, I've noticed - in their judgment of a man's living arrangements.

I just know I wouldn't want them to have to move into a nursing home unless there was no other option.
I hear ya dude. Im lucky i always got along very well with my folks and they raised me well for 17 years before i moved out. They arent at the point of a nursing home so i felt obligated to take them in.

Its a sacrifice i had to make. Giving up my social life. But its for my folks.
 

Sean

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,154
Longview
Marriage? Sure, legally on paper or just a ceremony I'm good with any of that. It's not a requirement though. If someone really wanted to, I'd go for it. I was with my previous Ex for 5 years and it wasn't something we'd actually ever discussed, so I didn't worry about it. If I'm with someone I'm with them all the way regardless of that.

Kids? I'm not 100% against it, but I'd really rather not unless the world goes through some pretty massive and drastic changes for the better.
 

Middleman

Member
Jun 14, 2019
629
After I got cancer, I just don't feel good about being in a long term relationship, given the possibility that I may die sooner than anyone thinks. Needless to say, that definitely extends to having children. Totally unfair to check out on a kid when they are young. I live a weird lonely life as a result. I date casually, and sometimes definitely long for something more long term, but I have to take a step back. But, its my new normal now.
Damn man, that's tough. Hope you find a situation that works out for you.
 

Boy Wander

Member
Oct 29, 2017
2,121
UK
Getting married with the right woman is good in my book. Getting kids nowadays? Nya. It's not like I don't want one, but I can't do that to them because of the future (and also because our generation already got fucked in every single thing housing, money. climate etc.).
It's probably best you don't have kids if you have such a defeatist attitude.
 

Guts Of Thor

Member
Oct 25, 2017
803
I'm 37 and have no desire for marriage or to have children. I've been single for 17 years and I love the single life way too much and don't want the responsibility of maintaining a relationship or taking care of children.
 

oledome

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,595
I'd like to have kids or adopt with someone as I think I'd be a good father, I think I do have that urge. However I'm about to go back to university to do a masters, my career is more or less going on hold for a while (although that is why I'm going back to uni). I would never have a kid unless I was financially secured and right now I'm secure for myself, there's no room for someone else both financially and just where I am in my life, I go out a lot, I like to party, socialise and work. I'm overall pretty happy with my life right now, kids is not on the cards for a while and if it doesn't happen then so be it.

Marriage I'm not so fussed on as an institution, I'd like a serious relationship and have been dating a fair amount and had serious relationships in my twenties but I'm not settling for anything unless I'm really happy. I think people need to give themselves time to know what they want, I've seen bad relationships (and been in a couple) and marriages and I'd rather be single than deal with that nonsense. I'm happy with my love life right now.

There is very little pressure from my family and being from a big city, many in my social circle are not married or have kids, the pressure I feel right now is to do well in these studies coming up and further develop my career, I'm 31.
 

GC-

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,890
My life is pretty good. Adding children would completely change the trajectory in what I would perceive to be the worse unless I was to become an absent father and society needs less of them. I’m also not paternal in anyway shape or form.

I fundamentally disagree with what marriage represented, and even though those aspects aren’t present in modern form of marriage, well in the secular version anyway I have no interest in engaging in the tradition.

Things change and I may meet somebody that completely shifts my perspective but at this point and my range of experiences I’d say that is likely to be exceedingly unlikely.
 

RedVejigante

Member
Aug 18, 2018
1,134
Definitely open to the idea of marriage, and I've always felt that if I met someone I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with, then I'd almost certainly want to have a child with that person as well. Although, as kind of cliche as it has become, I do struggle with that whole notion of "what kind of world would you be bringing a child into, etc."
 

Mendrox

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,392
It's probably best you don't have kids if you have such a defeatist attitude.
You do you. I want to offer something to my kids which I can't. I wouldn't want to let my kid down like many other people sadly do.

Oh you were the dude in the vape thread that can't even read the article correctly. Uff.
 

Foffy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,789
Not interested in any of that, tbh. Especially kids.

I'm of the view that if we currently fail at caring for what's already here, why would I be such a dumbfuck to add something else? Why not care for someone already existing?
 

ejoshua

Member
Oct 27, 2017
343
Divorced, no kids. I’ve had fun dating/seeing people again but if I’ve been doing okay alone, so I’m not going to close the door on anything but I’m not yelling inside of it telling people to come in.
 

Seik

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,527
Québec City
Going 31 in a month and I'm almost at four years with my GF, I've made it clear from the get go that marriage isn't an option, as I don't need to prove to a god that I don't believe in that I love her.

As for kids, we recently both agreed to not have any, though both for different reasons. As for myself it's because the future is really dire for them plus I never really had any interest in having one and/or caring for one, and as for my GF, her brother has deep mental issues and his putting her family through a pletora of trouble and is pretty much a threat to their lives, so she fears having a kid who could reproduce these issues, amongst other things.

We already have a cat but we want to get a dog once we move to a house, I'm sure it'll cover those grounds well. :)
 
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Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,622
I'll be 29 soon and am already married (not on paper, but we intend to in the future), but I don't want kids.

My husband used to want them badly, but then we went to live together and got a dog, and he realized how hard life is lol We barely have enough money to live a decent life as is, it's really stressful to have to take care of everything when you're basically living on your means, a kid would mean we'd have to sacrifice a lot of self comfort, trips, indulgences, it's not worth it. Maybe if we become really rich, but for now were settled at making money enough to enjoy our life to the fullest.