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30 years old and up single Era, do you ever want to get married and/or have kids?

Married, kids, both or neither?

  • Just married

    Votes: 189 27.4%
  • Just kid(s)

    Votes: 21 3.0%
  • Both

    Votes: 210 30.4%
  • Neither

    Votes: 270 39.1%

  • Total voters
    690

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
I never wanted to have kids, and a marriage always seemed stupid to me.

So neither.
 

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,570
After I got cancer, I just don't feel good about being in a long term relationship, given the possibility that I may die sooner than anyone thinks. Needless to say, that definitely extends to having children. Totally unfair to check out on a kid when they are young. I live a weird lonely life as a result. I date casually, and sometimes definitely long for something more long term, but I have to take a step back. But, its my new normal now.
Do you now have a higher chance of dying young? What i mean is, you had cancer but got cured, right? So doesn't that just reset the clock?
At what age did you get cancer, what type of cancer and how old are you now?

If you don't want to discuss this i can understand. Just curious. There are plenty of people who had cancer and who had kids afterwards.
 

FlintSpace

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,569
28M
Plans are up in the air but I don't think my finances would allow it. Nothing sadder than a unfulfilled soulmate because of money troubles. Better be be alone than to face that noise.
 

Skade

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,352
Almost 35. I'm not against the idea of getting married would i somehow end up in a serious relationship in spite of my unwillingness of playing this horrid game that is called "dating".

But kids ? Nah. I wouldn't want to bring a kid to life in this dying planet. Maybe adopting one, but that's it.
 

Solo

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
6,788
I was a bachelor at 31 and was happy with that life......

....now I'm 36 and my GF and I have been together 5 years and just welcomed our first child a few months back and I'm even happier with this life. It's so much work but so rewarding.

I doubt we will ever get "married", as in the ceremony and stuff, but we've lived together for 4.5 years and have been common law for 3.5 years, which is basically the same thing.
 

offshore

Member
Oct 27, 2017
370
UK
lol, why no kids? what if that 25% marriage possibility comes through and they really want kids? Would you consider adoption?
Well I think marriage would only happen on the prior understanding that kids are a no-go. Similar to Seik ruling out marriage with his partner from the start, you'd need to make clear from the get-go your position so you don't get married and then your spouse is suddenly surprised of your opposition to kids; it wouldn't be fair on them otherwise.
 

Kyrios

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,666
I love babies but the older I get, the less I want one of my own but things can change, I'm only 30. But I would definitely be opened to getting married.
 

Resetta Stone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
399
Both are not for me the way my trajectory is going. Besides, marriage and kids is such an alien concept to me anyway.
 

Concelhaut

Member
Jun 10, 2019
649
I’m 27, gay. I don’t want kids in this world because I’m not a fan of Gen Z and beyond. Having a kid born after 2025 in a world that looks bland is not appealing. I also never had the dad instinct.

Getting married is meh as well. Doesn’t make a difference to gay couples who don’t want kids in my opinion.

Money is not an issue.
 

Xiaomi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,414
31, maybe someday. Right now I enjoy dating and the sacks of cash I get to put towards retirement so I don't starve in 40 years.
 

Zhao_Yun

Member
Oct 25, 2017
380
Germany
I'm 30 and after being frustrated with the whole dating thing for the past year I am currently taking a break from it and trying to enjoy my single life. Maybe something happens in the future or not, but I am not putting any pressure on myself at the moment.

As for kids... the more often I see how my coworkers have to sacrifice their freetime for their kids the less eager I want to be a parent myself.
 

Forerunner

The Fallen
Oct 30, 2017
5,376
San Diego
I'm 31 and not really. I always entertained the idea, but the more I thought about it, the more I pushed it away. It's just not for me.
 

Desi

Member
Oct 30, 2017
321
I'm 30 and interested in both. Not in any rush to be honest and I have a Godson that I get to take care of every now and again. Every date I have been on recently was with a woman older than me by a few years but we all seem a bit reluctant to get much into children talk to be honest.
 

AxeVince

Member
Oct 26, 2017
557
I live in Canada, as I've lived with my GF more than a year with her while being in a relationship, the State recognized us as a couple and applies a whole lot of things to the situation (tax credits, joint taxes declaration, wealth split in case of separation, etc). Getting married would be pretty much the same except we'd have a ring on our fingers and would be allowed by law to call ourselves "husband and wife". We can buy a ring, and the law does not care if we call ourselves husband and wife outside of official papers. So...

Kids, on the other hand, I'd like to have, though, with the current state of the world, I don't know if it would be responsible to have one and leave them be in that trash.
 

Jameswell

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,128
I’m 31 and about get married in a month with no kids. My fiancé and I have talked about having one kid. But we both have said, that if for some reason we can’t have a kid, it won’t be the end of the world and we will keep doing what we do.

Honestly, having zero kids sounds kind of ideal to me, but in the back of my mind, I kind of also want one.
 

____

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,852
Miami, FL
32. I would actually love to have kids and raise them by myself, as long-term relationships/marriage aren't for me. I don't believe in divorce, and you can't have a divorce if you never marry.

 
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Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,570
I was a bachelor at 31 and was happy with that life......

....now I'm 36 and my GF and I have been together 5 years and just welcomed our first child a few months back and I'm even happier with this life. It's so much work but so rewarding.

I doubt we will ever get "married", as in the ceremony and stuff, but we've lived together for 4.5 years and have been common law for 3.5 years, which is basically the same thing.
Of course. Marriage is just a ceremonial with a huge economic aspect attached to it. The commitment is all in our head.
Some people need a diamond ring for that apparently. I've been together with my girlfriend for 25 years now. We see no reason to do the ceremonial.
But you will be judged by others.
 

Shredderi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,404
Turned 30 this year and never even been on an actual date. Being introverted and not going out to party, clubs or bars and being an overweight man does that. Now if I say I'm interested in all the marriage and family stuff, it feels daunting to start working towards to at 30. I feel like one should be 20 when they start workign towards it. Working towards it meaning first losing weight, becoming a better version of yourself, making yourself attractive to the opposite sex, then dating around a bit to find what kind of person you are interested in, then sticking with someone for some years, moving together, getting married, having a kid. That sounds like about a decade to me, and it just sounds hard to pull off at 30.

Also realistically speaking a lot of women my age would have kids already, or in general have a lot more lived life and history. Since I haven't dated I don't even really know if I'm gonna be a cool, chill guy about all that or if I'm one of those people who would feel insecure about the other person having a lot more experience than me, and then me working through that first and everything.

Dating, the final frontieer.
 

Holyoneturtle

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
323
I marked both but for the last two years I am not completely sure if I want kids. However, it is definitely on the table.
 

PinkSpider

Member
Oct 27, 2017
262
Yes to marriage, if I met someone and they wanted kids then yeah but I'm not sure it's a wise decision the way climate change is going.
 

Channel5News

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
5,493
Los Angeles, CA
33...I hate being alone, and would love to spend my life with the right person. But it feels irresponsible to bring more children into this world. I'd have tremendous guilt raising them to inherit a sick, dying planet full of assholes.
 
Dec 24, 2017
1,721
Do you now have a higher chance of dying young? What i mean is, you had cancer but got cured, right? So doesn't that just reset the clock?
At what age did you get cancer, what type of cancer and how old are you now?

If you don't want to discuss this i can understand. Just curious. There are plenty of people who had cancer and who had kids afterwards.
I was diagnosed in my late 30’s. Although they did get the main tumor out, my staging indicated there may be a possibility of metastasis. I was unable to complete chemo, which have increased the possibility of killing any stray cancer, because I am extremely allergic to the main backbone chemo drug. So since, I’ve had the cancer pop back up in a lymph node, that was removed. So, I know it can come back.

I was initially diagnosed with esophageal adenocarcinoma, but it was at the junction of my stomach and esophagus, so it is basically stomach cancer. So out when my stomach and part of my esophagus. Currently there is a human centipede situation with my small intestine and esophagus.

I am 4 years into this. 5 years survival rates were under 50%, but mine is probably offset by my age and my new found devotion to being as physically fit as possible in case this comes back. Because it has. It’s gonna get me eventually, probably within then next decade. But I plan on going down fighting as much as possible.

On the bonus end in part of dating, there are plenty of young women who feel there is something incredibly tragic and romantic about having an affair with an older man who may or may not be fated to die. I personally think it’s silly to think that, but I end up dating women I normally wouldn’t. So that’s been weird/interesting.
 

ExKage

Member
Sep 9, 2019
100
29, 30 in a couple of months lesbian. I hate the idea of being alone for the rest of my life but I've only had 1 disastrous relationship in my entire life and dating... is very weird. How to do that at this age? I'm not a big party person. Not a big fan of drinking. Are there social gatherings not centered around that? lol

I'd ideally get married and all my life I've never wanted kids. I don't have that baby clock that other women seem to think exists and I absolutely hate hearing that "you'll change your mind eventually." I'm not adverse to adopting or fostering if a future partner wanted one or if she wanted to carry but in my head I've never thought "House with a white picket fence and a great backyard for kids to play around in".
 

Ovaryactor

Member
Nov 20, 2018
82
28M
Plans are up in the air but I don't think my finances would allow it. Nothing sadder than a unfulfilled soulmate because of money troubles. Better be be alone than to face that noise.
Dude... nothing sadder than this comment. Don’t let finances control the ‘partner’ aspect of a relationship.

And, if you communicate well it’s possible that the burden is lessened with them around.
 

shaneo632

Member
Oct 29, 2017
11,740
Essex, UK
I have a girlfriend of 6 years but no desire to get married and definitely not to have kids. I like my free time and my money. I could probably be persuaded to get married one day but it'd probably be a registry office with none of the usual patriarchal/sexist accompaniments, and a nice little party for all my friends/family somewhere.

The thought of spending £10-20k on a wedding when that's a very respectable deposit where I live just doesn't compute to me. Same with the expense of a kid - I just wouldn't get enough out of it to be rewarding. I want to be able to do what I want - get drunk, get high, go watch movies/play video games when I feel like it - without having to consider a baby.

I do think it's weird how society has a blindspot for people in relationships who aren't married. Like on a form I have to write "single" even though I've been with my partner for 6+ years lmao. Way to shit on what we have.
 

snacknuts

The Fallen
Nov 1, 2017
2,652
I was single at 30 and wasn't sure about either one. Now at 40 I am very happily married and very, VERY certain that I do not want children.
 

Martinski

Member
Jan 15, 2019
792
Göteborg
Well i am "open" to it, but it is highly unlikely to ever happen. Either getting married or having kids seems totally foreign being in my 12th year as single rofl.
 

Solo

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
6,788
Of course. Marriage is just a ceremonial with a huge economic aspect attached to it. The commitment is all in our head.
Some people need a diamond ring for that apparently. I've been together with my girlfriend for 25 years now. We see no reason to do the ceremonial.
But you will be judged by others.
Oh we absolutely already are. We get a lot of "you already have the kid, when are you getting married?" type of nonsense.
 

Concelhaut

Member
Jun 10, 2019
649
Turned 30 this year and never even been on an actual date. Being introverted and not going out to party, clubs or bars and being an overweight man does that. Now if I say I'm interested in all the marriage and family stuff, it feels daunting to start working towards to at 30. I feel like one should be 20 when they start workign towards it. Working towards it meaning first losing weight, becoming a better version of yourself, making yourself attractive to the opposite sex, then dating around a bit to find what kind of person you are interested in, then sticking with someone for some years, moving together, getting married, having a kid. That sounds like about a decade to me, and it just sounds hard to pull off at 30.

Also realistically speaking a lot of women my age would have kids already, or in general have a lot more lived life and history. Since I haven't dated I don't even really know if I'm gonna be a cool, chill guy about all that or if I'm one of those people who would feel insecure about the other person having a lot more experience than me, and then me working through that first and everything.

Dating, the final frontieer.
This made me sad
 

Droidian

Avenger
Dec 28, 2017
1,167
30+, been married and no divorced. I dont have kids but I wouldn't mind having one, I'd just rather be financially secure with job security.

As for marriage, I'm in no rush at all. My current gf would say yes in a heartbeat but I'm not even thinking about it at all.
 

Shredderi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,404
Yeah. Hadn't really thought about the subject in a while to be honest. Had a nice gig doing work I really enjoyed doing for about half a year but that contract just ended like 2 weeks ago, so now I have more time and energy to think about this other side of life and I was feeling a bit moody :P
The thing that gets me about it is that even if I got my shit together on this front now and started making strides, I'll never get to experience what it would have been like to go on that journey and adventure when I was younger, full of hormones and stuff. I perpetually feel like I missed out on something. But everyone knows that it doesn't do any good to dwell and let that block any future progress. Gotta keep fighting the urge to throw your hands up and just go on a perpetual self pity rant.
Life ain't bad. I have lots of good close friends. I enjoy my hobbies that occasionally turn into jobs.

Marriage and kids sounds a bit intimidating. When I was 20 they sounded like the most terrifying thing in the world. Some progress has been made in my mindset.
 

Desi

Member
Oct 30, 2017
321
I have been using this extra single time (just out of a 3 1/2 year relationship)to decorate my bedroom and search for a small starter house to buy.