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30 years old and up single Era, do you ever want to get married and/or have kids?

Married, kids, both or neither?

  • Just married

    Votes: 189 27.4%
  • Just kid(s)

    Votes: 21 3.0%
  • Both

    Votes: 210 30.4%
  • Neither

    Votes: 270 39.1%

  • Total voters
    690

phanphare

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,557
open to getting married for sure but I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than force it with someone so it'd have to be the right person

kids, no thank you
 

Concelhaut

Member
Jun 10, 2019
649
Yeah. Hadn't really thought about the subject in a while to be honest. Had a nice gig doing work I really enjoyed doing for about half a year but that contract just ended like 2 weeks ago, so now I have more time and energy to think about this other side of life and I was feeling a bit moody :P
The thing that gets me about it is that even if I got my shit together on this front now and started making strides, I'll never get to experience what it would have been like to go on that journey and adventure when I was younger, full of hormones and stuff. I perpetually feel like I missed out on something. But everyone knows that it doesn't do any good to dwell and let that block any future progress. Gotta keep fighting the urge to throw your hands up and just go on a perpetual self pity rant.
Life ain't bad. I have lots of good close friends. I enjoy my hobbies that occasionally turn into jobs.

Marriage and kids sounds a bit intimidating. When I was 20 they sounded like the most terrifying thing in the world. Some progress has been made in my mindset.
Remember: YOLO and FOMO. Both of these should help you move forward.
 

CreepingFear

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,787
Neither. I had a vasectomy last year. For marriage, the only benefit I see are tax benefits or for medical reasons, i.e. making decisions or hospital visitation.
 

Seik

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,523
Québec City
This whole conversation reminds me of a Christmas diner I had with my GF's family a couple of years ago.

There was her aunt that was sitting in front of us and we were meeting for the first time, and boy did I curb her enthusiasm. It was like discussing with an entity called 'society' to me.

Long story short, she is like really deep Christian, and at first she saw us kissing and was all like ''Aw you guys are so cute, you go well together.'' etc. Then comes diner. She started asking us ''So when are you guys getting married?'' then we looked at each others and giggled, saying that it wasn't in our plans, you already could see that smile going down and then she started asking why. I followed that with ''I'm not Christian, I'm an atheist so I don't really believe there is a god out there and marriage is basically approving your union to that said 'god'. I also had the chance to have parents that did let me grow old enough to let me choose wether or not I'd like a baptism, which I refused.''. Stunned, she then asked why I wasn't interested in baptism back then and I basically answered that priests creeped me out and I didn't see any symbolism in having water poured on my forehead by one.

Then comes the child question ''When are you guys having a little baby then?'' as if it was a 100% locked certainty. Which we answered that we weren't too sure enough about having one instead of a straight ''No.'' because it was still uncertain at that period. Still, you could see the uneasiness in her face that we even dared have doubt on this.

After the diner she went to talk to my GF's mother (!!!) probably about our answers, as if we were aliens, and then once we were returning from there her mother kind of stealth-implied in the middle of a discussion in the car that my GF was Christian, which she replied by ''What? No! I was educated by you and dad who are Christians but it didn't make me one by default!'' and then she went speechless for almost the remaining hour and a half of the road.

Just for the record, we're all good now though. :)
 
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jml

Member
Mar 9, 2018
640
Marriage yes. I'd lean towards not having kids but I could see myself being talked into it if I'm with the right person.
 

Anomander

Member
Oct 27, 2017
295
I'll be 30 next year but I don't plan to have kids ever. Marriage yes, but we all know climate change is gonna happen and our children will have a shitty future waiting for them.
 

D23

Member
Oct 25, 2017
918
Weve been married for 3 years. wife and i wanted to have kids eventually but not anytime soon.
 

quasiotter

Member
Aug 25, 2019
4
I'd only get married for things that are reserved only for spouses, such as medical/dental benefits and the right to see them if they're dying. I don't feel the need for marriage otherwise.

I doubt I'll ever want kids. I know I can adapt to be a good father, but I personally don't think it's the right fit for me due to my disabilities.I was asked to be a sperm donor for my lesbian friends and I can't even go through with that.
 

Dolobill

Member
Oct 25, 2017
503
I've been with my partner for 11 years and our first kid is 14 months old now. I will say that after a while, things can get a bit stale in a long term relationship. Life becomes very routine. I think the kid reinvigorated us as we are always facing new challenges and experiencing new developments in our family. I'm 32 now and I was reluctant to have kids until around 30. Now I wish I had started a few years earlier.
 

Lumination

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,692
Personally, I'm still on the fence about actual marriage. To go through the whole license and contract of marriage just sounds so superficial and bizarre to me. I'd rather find a life partner and just agree we'll be faithful and stay with each other. If, however, I found one like that and she really wanted to get married, for whatever reason, then I would have no problem with that, at all.
I thought this way for most of my life. But this year, I went to some bomb ass weddings and now I view it in the lens of weddings are the only events where you'll be able to wrangle together all of your adult friends for one big dance party. In that sense, I'm much more inclined to go through the ritual.
 

h0tp0ck3t

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
1,096
Neither. Every date I've been on turned into an anxiety filled cluster fuck so that's a no go lol
For kids I got my nephew who I get to be the cool uncle and do fun stuff with then run to my sister or her husband when he gets upset lmao
 

Ryutaryi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
536
Once I get my bachelor's degree I'll be 31, nearly 32, and hoping to get back into the dating scene. I'm hoping for both, but it's been quite a while since I've perused anything just due to how much of a mess my 20s were in general.
 

Spiritreaver

Member
Oct 26, 2017
479
Sure, I'd like to be married one day, though I'm not sure about kids.

But right now I'm quite content being single and am happy to put off being with someone until I feel differently.
 

-PXG-

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,311
NJ
I want to get married. Current GF and myself would like kids...maybe...but only if we have the financial means. More than likely, that won't happen. We are too busy with work and we have too many ambitions and desires to travel. Kids would fuck all that up.
 

digit_zero

Member
Oct 27, 2017
522
I turned 30 this year and still hope to both get married / have kids.

That said, I’m just now coming out of a period where a series of health issues (both mental and not) led me to not pursuing any of it, so I definitely feel a combination of “how do I do this again” as well as some pressure of time now in doing so.
 

B.K.

Member
Oct 31, 2017
3,859
I'll probably never marry. I really didn't want to meet the person desperate enough to settle for me.
 

i-Lo

Avenger
Oct 31, 2017
11,059
Not America
Meh, I am deeply broken and thankfully enough self aware to not drag someone else into this mess. Plus, given the state of this world, having kids would be an unwise proposition unless you are financially extremely secure now and for the foreseeable future.
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,642
a parallel universe
I used to want both. I don't even know anymore. Been burned a few too many times and now I'm bitter as fuck and just want to be left alone for the most part. I've learned to really appreciate my freedom. Don't need anyone coming in to fuck my shit up anymore. I can do that on my own.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,780
I'm already an uncle to 2 beautiful boys, so I don't really want kids of my own lol. I like being carefree in the parenting department, with no real obligations or responsibilities. I can be the "cool" uncle that only has time for FUN, playing music, video games, traveling and riding motorcycles. I feel like my nephews would become jealous and neglected if I had children of my own haha. But seriously, I don't think marriage is worth it unless you find someone so open-minded with a compatible personality. I wouldn't mind getting into a long-term relationship with someone, but signing the legal and financial binding documents scares me.

I also fear for the future of human civilization on this planet. Where are we headed? How much time do we have left as a species? It's all very daunting and unpredictable. I don't want to bring a child into this world, who I am responsible for, and for them to suffer from external factors, like lack of jobs, lack of natural resources, discrimination based on race or religion, a plummeting economy, diseases, world war, famine, etc. Even technology like social media makes me fear for the future of the next generation, because everyone is already depressed and nihilistic.
 
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Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,570
Oh we absolutely already are. We get a lot of "you already have the kid, when are you getting married?" type of nonsense.
Yeah we have a kid as well. 11 year old son. We live in a relatively openminded country, thank god, but still a lot of people think without marriage there is no love or some idiotic shit like that. Says more about them, but they don't realize that. People are conditioned like dogs.
 

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,570
I was diagnosed in my late 30’s. Although they did get the main tumor out, my staging indicated there may be a possibility of metastasis. I was unable to complete chemo, which have increased the possibility of killing any stray cancer, because I am extremely allergic to the main backbone chemo drug. So since, I’ve had the cancer pop back up in a lymph node, that was removed. So, I know it can come back.

I was initially diagnosed with esophageal adenocarcinoma, but it was at the junction of my stomach and esophagus, so it is basically stomach cancer. So out when my stomach and part of my esophagus. Currently there is a human centipede situation with my small intestine and esophagus.

I am 4 years into this. 5 years survival rates were under 50%, but mine is probably offset by my age and my new found devotion to being as physically fit as possible in case this comes back. Because it has. It’s gonna get me eventually, probably within then next decade. But I plan on going down fighting as much as possible.

On the bonus end in part of dating, there are plenty of young women who feel there is something incredibly tragic and romantic about having an affair with an older man who may or may not be fated to die. I personally think it’s silly to think that, but I end up dating women I normally wouldn’t. So that’s been weird/interesting.
Aah, okay. Thanx for answering. Wow, that is some tragic stuff. And that makes having kids more complicated for sure. I think you're doing the responsible thing here. How hard it may be.

I had no idea about the final part of your story, haha. Go for it man.

Best of luck!!!!!
 

Kain-Nosgoth

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,172
Switzerland
31, don't want to get married (it's just a piece of paper really, i don't need that to spend my life with someone) or have kids... and even if i wanted to, you really can't do that alone, and at this point i think this is how i'm gonna spend the rest of my life

nothing sad really, i made peace with it (still i'm not against a relationship, just i don't search for it and i doubt it will happen just like that)

and no i'm not a virgin, can't become a wizard anymore, sadly
 

SUBZERO-08

Member
Oct 25, 2017
302
I'm 28 but I don't think I would ever want to get married. May eventually want to have a kid, but even that I'm not sure on and I most often lean towards "no".
 

Lucreto

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,033
I would love both but I don't have time for dating and I am a rather quiet fellow.

I don't trust dating apps and my opportunities are rather limited.
 

Barrel Roll

Member
Aug 17, 2019
5
At the moment I'm 31 years old and single. A girlfriend and a dog would be my preference, marriage would not be completely out of the question but I definitely don't want to have kids.
 

Gitaroo

Member
Nov 3, 2017
1,358
Live in a small city and can't seem to find the right person to spend the rest of my life with unfortunately.