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30 years old and up single Era, do you ever want to get married and/or have kids?

Married, kids, both or neither?

  • Just married

    Votes: 189 27.4%
  • Just kid(s)

    Votes: 21 3.0%
  • Both

    Votes: 210 30.4%
  • Neither

    Votes: 270 39.1%

  • Total voters
    690

dirtyjane

Member
Oct 27, 2017
359
I decided early to never have kids and I've only once in my life had the feeling of love to offer for another human being, wich was of course rejected. Since then I dont have the drive to engage in anything romantic or sexual. I live for climbing and being outdoors.
 
Apr 24, 2018
994
I always thought I'd at least have a modicum of success by the time I hit my 30s (32 now), but these days I just look back with longing and regret for some of the choices I've made. I used to think there were things more important than money and definitely screwed myself multiple times out of having a more lucrative career - I had naive misconceptions that the corporate world would be meritocratic.

I've always lacked confidence and that's something all the girls I've been friends have picked up on and supposedly the biggest thing that's always held me back. I directly tie my self worth to my job/salary so not being as successful as I'd like has pretty big ramifications for me.

I've had some chances with women that I would've otherwise thought were completely unattainable, but I've always been interested in dating for the long term/getting married and that's a far cry from what most of these women were looking for. Still, I'm in my early 30s and a lot of my friends keep telling me that they're sure I'll find a great girl one day.

I just need to find a job that doesn't make me completely miserable so I can at least get back in shape. Seeing some of my friends starting to have kids now further reinforced the fact that I would like to have kids one day.

TLDR; Do I want to get married? Sure. Will it ever happen? Remains to be seen.
 

Nassudan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,847
Married? Absolutely.
The issue I have with at the moment is getting the motivation to start dating.
 

y3k

Member
Oct 25, 2017
160
Hahahaha, fuck no.

I deal with people all fucking day. The last thing I want to deal with when I come home at the end of the day is to deal with even more goddamn people and their goddamn problems.
 

Sanguine

Member
Jun 10, 2018
64
Neither, I've never had any interest in companionship and frankly, I'm more or less quite happy with my life as is.
 

P-Bo

Member
Jun 17, 2019
279
don't lose hope my dude. i've isolated myself for along time, fell into alcohol addiction and drug abuse, developed social anxiety issues, almost went off the deep end into some kind of weird schizophrenic episode (i was seeing faces every where, hearing voices and acting paranoid towards everyone), i even burned bridges with all my best friends, except one. i found a way out and i know you can too, just gotta keep mustering up all your courage, get your hands dirty and push on through the nite. the place where you are now will not be the same for the rest of your life.
Thank you--your words mean alot to me. Currently going through a struggle right now, but even if I have to crawl, I'll try to believe I'll get to the place I want to be.
 
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Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
I just realized I should have made the title “single Era” not “bachelor Era”... this wasn’t supposed to be exclusive to men. Whoops. I was just thinking about myself I suppose.
 

Thorrgal

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,648
Too old to have kids.

Getting married it's just a piece of paper so maybe for tax reasons, but would not have a celebration or anything
 

Keuja

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,087
Definitely open to the idea of marriage, and I've always felt that if I met someone I loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with, then I'd almost certainly want to have a child with that person as well. Although, as kind of cliche as it has become, I do struggle with that whole notion of "what kind of world would you be bringing a child into, etc."
That's not cliché, that's your paternal instinct that already makes you protect your (theoretical) baby which drives you to question whether the environment is safe for him/her.
Married at 31 and was 50/50 on kids, but wife really wanted to try. We had to use IVF due to medical reasons, and then proceeded to go through 4 miscarriages in the last year.

Tuesday the ultrasound is booked to confirm the heartbeat on attempt 5 and everything looks to be going super awesomely, and I don't think I have ever been more excited.

Really interesting to look back and see how my mindset swung in regards to kids once I found and married my wife.
Finger crossed for the baby! Hope you can come back in a few months and announce us some great news.
 

mnemonicj

Member
Oct 27, 2017
982
Honduras
I'm happily married without kids, and if kids are ever an option then we would think about it a lot before committing to such a responsibility.
I doubt I'll have kids though lol.
 
Oct 25, 2017
3,253
Toronto, ON
Married at 31 and was 50/50 on kids, but wife really wanted to try. We had to use IVF due to medical reasons, and then proceeded to go through 4 miscarriages in the last year.

Tuesday the ultrasound is booked to confirm the heartbeat on attempt 5 and everything looks to be going super awesomely, and I don't think I have ever been more excited.

Really interesting to look back and see how my mindset swung in regards to kids once I found and married my wife.
Sincerely wishing you both the best, good luck next week.
 

videodrome

Member
Oct 27, 2017
458
I’m 47, divorced once in 2005, got a vasectomy five years ago. Never planning on another marriage - had to sell my house the first time around and that’s a risk I will never again take. Spent a decade fixing up my current 2-story house and it’s my dream pad.
 

SliceSabre

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,896
32 and enjoying the bachelor life.

No.

Hell no.

Hell fucking no.

I don't want to share my life with another person. I don't want to be responsible for the next 20+ years for a bunch of kids(s). I was there for my younger siblings and that experience taught me that children are not something I even remotely desire. I greatly value the freedom and independence my single life affords me. Like you do not understand the level in which I value my personal freedom and independence. I know married/with kids people will get indignant and say they have that too, but they really don't if they want to have a happy home life they really don't have the freedom and independence that a single person has.

Not to mention I cannot stand people.
 
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Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
32 and enjoying the bachelor life.

No.

Hell no.

Hell fucking no.

I don't want to share my life with another person. I don't want to be responsible for the next 20+ years for a bunch of kids(s). I was there for my younger siblings and that experience taught me that children are not something I even remotely desire. I greatly value the freedom and independence my single life affords me. Like you do not understand the level in which I value my personal freedom and independence. I know married/with kids people will get indignant and say they have that too, but they really don't if they want to have a happy home life they really don't have the freedom and independence that a single person has.

Not to mention I cannot stand people.
yeah im pretty much right there with ya man.

im not quite as against as you are, but i loooooooove love love love my freedom and independence. i'm totally cool with just hooking up and FWB but i don't want to wake up to someone else and be like..... shit, now i got to entertain you all day? and possibly for the next 40/50 years? fuck, that does not sound like a good time, please go away, lol

to be clear, i wouldn't be hoking up with women if i wasn't sure they were on the same page as me to begin with as far as making it clear it was just a hookup, i'm not an asshole
 

Militaratus

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
921
I don't want children, they are nothing but a miserable pile of germs.

I don't want to get married. It's nothing but a headache and if it ends they're free to steal your shit, both the initial batch of stuff and part of your money for years to come.
 
Oct 25, 2017
3,253
Toronto, ON
This is our life now

English? Source (do I want to know that? her design looks like n typical h doujin character)
English translation, because some folks were interested:

These are the "late virgins" - single men over 30 who have never had sex. They are psychologically immature, and they have an idiotic/infantile view of women.

When they reach middle age without having mentally evolved or adapted to life in society, they hang on to their fantasies with even more tenacity.

And they convince themselves that a charming young girl with angelic features will end up in their lives by magic, and she will accept them as they are.

The extreme uniqueness of their behavior and their vision of the world is the cause of many problems at the workplace.

"What is this mess?!"
 

Kinggroin

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
3,970
Uranus, get it?!? YOUR. ANUS.
Marriage is dope. Kids are too.

If you're in the position to do both, and are willing to invest in something that will potentially give back ten fold, and your partner wants to run with it — do it. Nothing else in life quite like it.

But wait till Trump and his global cronies are gone first
 

Poutine

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
496
35, girlfriend and I don't want to get married because it doesn't prove anything and costs way to much. We don't want kids as well, the future is scary and I wouldn't feel at peace when I die thinking that I'm leaving my children in the wake of everything we and the past generations did (or didn't)
 

hombremalo

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,990
Late 30s, 5 years living with my girlfriend, may marry just in case, so she gets a widow pay and my insurance money. But wouldn't make a ceremony. Children maybe. She is 9 years younger so they're is still some time to think about that.
 

Shadowcatz

Member
Aug 21, 2019
178
Engaged now. Kids would kill our travel plans and cramp our lives. Plus we both have neices and nephews so that's great, thanks.
 

Tokyo_Funk

Member
Dec 10, 2018
2,085
No to marriage, I already buried my fiance and don't want anyone anymore. I also don't like kids at all.
 
Oct 25, 2017
3,171
Never say never, but I value my freedom too much. No marriage or kids for me. I've been in relationships, but I love being single.
 

mhayes86

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,218
Virginia
I was 30 when I married, but I was always ambivalent to the idea. No reason to feel forced into a legal or religious binding if you love the person. Well, being with my SO for eight years at the time, she had no insurance and I had just started a career which provided good insurance. That kind of encouraged us to do it (hooray for US healthcare). We tried the domestic partner route, but we got taxed pretty heavily from that and had to end it. We almost said screw it and did a court wedding, but if we were going through it all, we wanted to at least have a decent ceremony. Fortunately it ended up being fantastic.

As for kids, we just started being able to afford to travel over the last few years and it hit HARD. We were trying after our trip to Europe last year, but then she wanted to go to Disney this year so we stopped for that (going to Disney in November). The idea is to start again after Disney, but we are undecided, and my wife has put a limit at 32, which would be at the end of next year.
 

pulseONE

Member
Oct 17, 2018
274
Trinidad and Tobago
A little, but I'm fully aware that neither is possible where I live (I'm gay and both marriage and adoption aren't legal in my country for us)

And with the amount I get paid, moving isn't likely, so I've just sorta accepted the whole single forever thing at this point
 

DrewFu

Member
Apr 19, 2018
5,609
I absolutely want both. However, at almost 34, I've come to terms with the fact that kids aren't in the cards for me at this point.
 

Kurdel

Member
Nov 7, 2017
8,888
No thank you!

I am 32 now, and I definitely don’t want kids.

Even marriage is a creepy concept to aim for, when you think about. But people find happiness there too, so more power to yall!
 
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Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
I absolutely want both. However, at almost 34, I've come to terms with the fact that kids aren't in the cards for me at this point.
it could still happen! 34 is young. my brother and his wife are 35 and 36 and are having their third kid this year.

adoption is always a choice of course. lots of desperate kids out there who need good homes :)
 

DrewFu

Member
Apr 19, 2018
5,609
it could still happen! 34 is young. my brother and his wife are 35 and 36 and are having their third kid this year.

adoption is always a choice of course. lots of desperate kids out there who need good homes :)
I know 34 is young, but by the time I find someone new, date for a few years, get married and decide to start a family - even if I started now - I'd be getting close to 40. lol
 

BigBlue

Member
Jun 6, 2019
92
Its perfectly fine to not want to have kids, but some of y'all *really* dislike the idea of kida....damn
 

Stryder

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,237
US
I'm not married, but I most likely will be sometime in the near future. Been seeing my girlfriend for about 7 years now.

Relationship is getting a bit long for two people who have yet to even move in together. So we'll probably move in and get married within a year or two of each other.
 

Doom_Bringer

Member
Oct 31, 2017
2,360
I am 34, I have sort of given up on women in general after a few bad experiences. I don't care about kids either. At this point, I have been alone for so long, I can easily ride this out till I am 60+

I think getting married and having kids is just a hassle and not really worth it imo
 
May 24, 2019
1,260
Guessing I’ll continue with neither, but children would be far more meaningful than a ceremony.
I’ll just get a dog instead.

I know 34 is young, but by the time I find someone new, date for a few years, get married and decide to start a family - even if I started now - I'd be getting close to 40. lol
My mum had me at 40 :)

Wasn’t too bad besides having to worry about her elder care in my 30s.
 
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Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
Guessing I’ll continue with neither, but children would be far more meaningful than a ceremony.
I’ll just get a dog instead.
yeah pretty much the same here man. going to get a rescue the day I'm done with school. which will be about this time next year.


My mum had me at 40 :)

Wasn’t too bad besides having to worry about her elder care in my 30s.
see, there is hope DrewFu!
 

Loxley

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,852
I know 34 is young, but by the time I find someone new, date for a few years, get married and decide to start a family - even if I started now - I'd be getting close to 40. lol
My parents were 38 and 40 when I was born, and then they had my brother 18 months later. It's really not too late.
 
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Awesome Kev

Awesome Kev

Member
Jan 10, 2018
1,298
Daytona Beach
For me being 30+ with no kids, adoption will not be on the table when dating.

I do not have a problem with having or not having kids, but adoption will never be on the table.

Just adding my position to this thread
the tone of your posts sound weirdly aggressive against adoption lol... but i hear ya, not your thing, nothing wrong with that