30 years old and up single Era, do you ever want to get married and/or have kids?

[LaytonWright]

32 and engaged, here found the perfect girl in my life, just need to get a better job. We kinda are taking a very planned apprroachat life, we both agreed, happiness at work before making a full comittment to a mortgage and kids as you don't want to bring that stress home. we live in the uk so pension age is 65 and 68 here so we both are looking at getting our careers sorted first. Take it from me, one failed marriage and my current relationship, I met my partner legitamately 3 days after I said to my mom I wouldnt be able to find someone again

 

[Deleted member 11985]

Edit: Changed my mind. I'm a neither.

 

[Deleted member 58401]

Both? Probably both. I'm 35, so I feel moderate pressure to get moving on this project, but it's not an overwhelming concern. Marriage is, in my opinion, pretty stupid in terms of how it differs from just being with someone, so I could go either way on that depending on what the other person wants. Kids seem cool. The planet, unfortunately, does not. But hey.

 

[Jazzman]

Married at 31 and was 50/50 on kids, but wife really wanted to try. We had to use IVF due to medical reasons, and then proceeded to go through 4 miscarriages in the last year.

Tuesday the ultrasound is booked to confirm the heartbeat on attempt 5 and everything looks to be going super awesomely, and I don't think I have ever been more excited.

Really interesting to look back and see how my mindset swung in regards to kids once I found and married my wife.

 

[Barrel Roll]

Married at 31 and was 50/50 on kids, but wife really wanted to try. We had to use IVF due to medical reasons, and then proceeded to go through 4 miscarriages in the last year.

Tuesday the ultrasound is booked to confirm the heartbeat on attempt 5 and everything looks to be going super awesomely, and I don't think I have ever been more excited.

Really interesting to look back and see how my mindset swung in regards to kids once I found and married my wife.

Click to shrink...

Wow, 4 miscarriages must have been hard on you and your partner. Hopefully this time it will work out!

 

[BizzyBum]

I say I want both, but I am not sure it will ever happen just because I don't really put myself out there. I'm too accustomed and content with being single where I can just do whatever I want whenever I want without having to worry about anyone else. This is also a super selfish mindset, I know, but not really sure how to break out of it.

 

[Johnny Blaze]

I'm 34 and still have no desire to get married or have kids so I guess neither. I don't know if that'll change but I never wanted kids.

 

[Swig]

I'm 36 and engaged. I've been on the fence about even getting married, but I feel like if it ends in divorce, she won't take me to the cleaners. I can't say the same for my last girlfriend. I don't see this relationship ending up in divorce, though. It's a very good and genuine relationship and we both love and appreciate each other.

As far as kids, I'm on the fence. I'd like adult children to hang out with and be in touch with, but I'm not sure I want to have that financial and time burden of raising kids. I'm not much of a "kid person" anyway. Plus, with the way the world is going with climate change and general terribleness due to politics, I'm not sure I really even want to bring someone into this world.

I guess after I'm married, we'll see if we feel like it. If I did have a kid, it would probably be one. I can't see wanting more than just one kid. I'll probably wait to see if the world regains some sanity after 2020, if Trump isn't re-elected.

 

[Watevaman]

28 here, so not target of the title, but I'd take marriage and no kids. Actually in a bad spot right now with my girlfriend of 4.5 years because of our opinions on kids. We both had on the fence opinions of them at the start, with me leaning more towards no and her to yes. Should've called it then. Now I'm more just trying to survive in life and no way would I want to have to support a child. I can't see myself ever wanting one so yeah, not good.

 

[Zok310]

Been divorced 4 years now. No kids. Dont think i have the energy at 38 to start over and get to the point where we marry and have kids.

 

[SneakyBadger]

Nah. I don't see the appeal of marriage.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll regret not having kids, but then I'm actually around kids and it reminds how nice it is to be able return to solitude when I want it.

 

[LabRat]

can't even find someone i want to be together for more than a couple years so at this point the idea of finding a woman who wants to spend the rest of her life with me and have some kids seems so foreign to me

 

[Swig]

Been divorced 4 years now. No kids. Dont think i have the energy at 38 to start over and get to the point where we marry and have kids.

Click to shrink...

I've always told myself that I'll get married once. If it doesn't work out, I'll date and have girlfriends or one long-term girlfriend, but I'll never get married again. I'm engaged, so I guess we'll see what my future holds. I don't think I would even have the energy or enthusiasm to get married again, even if I wanted to.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

Married at 31 and was 50/50 on kids, but wife really wanted to try. We had to use IVF due to medical reasons, and then proceeded to go through 4 miscarriages in the last year.

Tuesday the ultrasound is booked to confirm the heartbeat on attempt 5 and everything looks to be going super awesomely, and I don't think I have ever been more excited.

Really interesting to look back and see how my mindset swung in regards to kids once I found and married my wife.

Click to shrink...

Had our own ups and downs trying to get pregnant, and eventually it worked out. Have a BEAUTIFUL baby girl who just turned one - best thing ever. With utmost sincerity, I wish all the best for you and your family over the next ~9 months. Congratulations and good luck!!

 

[Monstress]

30, unmarried woman with no kids.

I know I don't want to be a parent, not today anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind in the next few years, maybe not.

As for the wedding, I'm not sure either: I'm perfectly fine with the current situation but if my SO wants to marry me, well, why not. They already know I'm not fond of fancy dresses and expensive jewelry so, it won't be a 10k€ ceremony.

 

[Coinspinner]

I really don't see an upside to relationships or children. Gonna pass.

 

[Adder7806]

Am 46. Been with my wonderful partner (wife) for 25 years. Neither of us wanted kids so we didn't. Don't regret it at all.

 

[Falchion]

Sure, if the right woman comes along.

Click to shrink...

Same, just waiting to make sure I've got the right one.

 

[Laserdisk]

40 next year and not even aloud a cat where I live so no chance of the others

 

[Perfectsil]

No interest in having and raising kids but I feel so bad my parents don't have grand kids

 

[Torpedo Vegas]

I am not cut out for either.

 

[Schreckstoff]

There's no idk option. I'm not 30 yet but I've never sought a permanent relationship. I feel like I will miss out not having kids but I don't know if I'll ever desire to have some.

 

[duxstar]

At this point I would kill for a decent girl to love me =[

 

[DJChuy]

Maybe not marriage but finding someone and having kids yes. However, I have come to accept I may die alone.

 

[x3sphere]

I'm not ruling it out but unless I sort of just run into the right person probably not. I don't have much motivation to get into the dating game, most people I know that are married now started in their early 20s. So I am way behind. Very busy with work as well, leaves little time for anything else. I have a pretty demanding job and with side projects I put in more than 40 hour weeks often. Although it doesn't make me feel particularly stressed I think it is more than what most people do.

 

[Interested Observer]

I'm 33, married with two sons so there's your answer. I am very happy with my life, even if the amount of sleep I get has halved in recent times.

 

[Schopenhauer]

After 20+ years of doing what I want, when I want and with who I want since becoming an adult I don't think I could give that lifestyle up even if I wanted to. Which I don't.

Even if I did wind up in topsy turvy world and found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with there would definitely be no non adult kids involved. Raising them is way too much of pain in the ass.

 

[X05]

Marriage is fine as long as it's the right person, but going to pass on having kids.

 

[Acorn]

Surprised at the results.

 

[Protoman200X]

I've had a bad history of dating, and it ends on either indifference or animosity from the person that I'm going out with.

For example, I once dated a guy and that relationship had fizzled out when we both agreed we were not that compatible. When dating this one woman, it seemed to go fine until she surprised me by dunking a milkshake on my head (when she went to get our beverages) and she humiliated me as she laughed towards the exit of the diner.

After almost a decade of dating, among other events that have transpired, I'm possibly not interested with finding a companion. I would be happy to inherit a large sum of money, find a place to call my own, & then perrsue my hobbies.

 

[TheYanger]

I tagged neither, but I don't strongly feel one way or the other about either. I'm not actively pursuing either option right now though and haven't really regretted it in the previous 37 years. Shrug.

 

[Brinbe]

That'd be nice, yes.

 

[Jmdajr]

Never necessarily wanted or expected....but got it all anyway. It's been good.

 

[killdatninja]

Both, but based on my luck will never happen. At some point I'll just realize it won't happen and just live a life as best I can.

 

[Budi]

I don't see any reason for marriage really. Kids is bit more tricky, but most likely no. Others are having more than enough kids already, also I'm not really in a point in my life that I could neccessarily provide everything I'd want to for my kid even if I had one. Having a kid is of course something I'd talk with my partner too and if they were to convince me somehow, then maybe.

 

[ChristopherDX]

So my life is meaningless bec I don't want to have kids?

Click to shrink...

I don't care about what you think you life means I'm just saying what I feel

 

[AimLow]

Preferable for me would be long term committed relationship, so I voted married, as that's the closest thing. At my age, it's getting tougher to find a woman who does not want or already have kids, but I don't really want them myself.

 

[Conciliator]

I'm pretty sure I don't want the traditional pleasant-wife-and-2.5-kids life. In part because i've watched it make many of peers fucking miserable, but I'm also just focused on other stuff right now. If I can finally get my money really straight - which may happen soon, I'm close to finishing my bachelor's and have some other potential avenues - I could see myself one day settling down with a partner I can handle having around most of the time, and maybe even adopting a couple kids. But definitely not until I get my money right, and I feel increasingly sure I don't want the baby showers, church-on-sunday, PTA meetings, everything's-peachy-in-the-suburb lifestyle. I'd be faking it the whole way. So we'll see what happens, I'm keeping my options open.

 

[Avitus]

Want both and it'd be nice but it would require the right person. 31

 

[lake]

WIth the right companion marriage could be very lovely.

I don't want to be tied down by a kid but some part of me also grieves not being able to contribute to raising a young one.

 

[microtransaction]

"Neither" is my option, and I'm surprised it is currently the option with the most votes.

 

[Azraes]

I'm not so sure about kids given how the world is turning out. Can I afford kids? yes. Multiple even with education. But I've gone from wanting kids when I was a freshly minted adult to I'm not so sure. I have been in plenty of relationships but no one I've ever wanted kids with.

On the relationship front I'm in one but I'll be just as happy not being with anyone at all. Decent independent social life, decent activities, decent savings. I've made arrangements if I do want to propogate my genetics as well. What drives me has always been ambition and career. I do love my partner but there's just something about me that is happiest when ambition and career aspirations are going well. No living organism can provide this.

 

[Bebpo]

Almost 38 here. Been in some LTRs that got close to marriage, but probably wouldn't have had kids with either. If the right person comes along, would like to get married, sure. Kids? Too many pros & cons, so I'm just leaving that decision up to the SO.

 

[Izzard]

No. I've lived on my own too long. I'd be a very difficult person to get to know like that now and I've become used to doing whatever I like with my time, which I believe would lead me to resent a partner and kids "taking up my time".

 

[Mauricio_Magus]

I'm in my 30s, I really love my girlfriend and I want to marry her someday.

I don't want children, ever, I've known this since forever and I always make this very clear whenever I start a relationship, so I'll just get married and that's it.

 

[dead souls]

An emphatic no to both. Literally almost zero desire.

 

[Ferrio]

39, getting married next year. Fuck no to kids, the dog is work enough.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

Ideally yes, but it looks less and less likely every year I'm alive.

 

[Professor RAWR]

I'm only 23.. do I count? Hahaha.

I'll like to share my thoughts. Atm, I'm so focused on myself that I even don't bother dating at all. Yet, in my Hispanic background, I know many people/family members (also Hispanics) have so many kids in my age or younger.. it's crazy. I don't want to sound stereotypical, but it's so common! Hahaha. ALL of my cousins in Honduras have kids too and they are a year or 2 younger than me.

It sucks to see them struggle financially and they usually have little to no time doing their own hobbies. Meanwhile for myself, since I never had a gf or even kissed a girl, I have so much time/freedom to basically do anything. Hang out with friends, gaming, working out, playing football, having all the money to myself and "my babies" which are my dogs hahaha, etc.

I even know a guy who's 22, has 3 kids, and..... was hitting on me too. Apparently he's bi and he has his gf too.... oof.

As for having a gf/married, I don't even bother. But again, i'm only 23 so anything can happen I guess. But I really stopped caring about relationships every since. Plus since there are a lot of immature people in my age or even older, it sucks to see many of them go through terrible breakups due to cheating, finance, etc. I'm not saying that will happen to me, but we never know... and I don't want to deal with that bs. My friend even got stabbed my his ex too because he fell asleep on New Years Eve as the clock hit 12 and didn't get that special kiss. Makes me ask "so why should I get a gf?!?!". Again, not every women/potential relationship can end like this of course, but I don't want face potential drama which i don't wanna deal with. Just pretty paranoid about the future.. that's all.

 

[Rhomega]

No. I'm just not social enough for marriage. I haven't had a crush in over 10 years, and I don't have the feeling of loneliness others have. I don't want or even like kids. Besides, I have better things to do with my time and money.