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A friend of mine just found out his best friend is very racist.

Wing Scarab

Wing Scarab

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Nov 1, 2017
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So a friend of mine found out that his best friend is racist. He doesn't want to talk to the family about it because his friend doesn't know that he found out. He only knows because his friend's girlfriend told him and showed him proof of it. My friend is Caucasian but his wife is brown skin and they have a 5 year old daughter together. The thing that's bothering him the most is that he has left his daughter with his friend quite a lot, sometimes for hours. He is worried that his friend has done things to her because there were times he would go pick her up and she would have bruises and other stuff on her and he would just say she had an accident. He never bothered to ask his daughter anything because to him that guy was like a brother.

I'm a bit worried that if he finds out the guy has done anything to his kid, something awful is going to happen.
 

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Wing Scarab said:
So a friend of mine found out that his best friend is racist. He doesn't want to talk to the family about it because his friend doesn't know that he found out. He only knows because his friend's girlfriend told him and showed him proof of it. My friend is Caucasian but his wife is brown skin and they have a 5 year old daughter together. The thing that's bothering him the most is that he has left his daughter with his friend quite a lot, sometimes for hours. He is worried that his friend has done things to her because there were times he would go pick her up and she would have bruises and other stuff on her and he would just say she had an accident. He never bothered to ask his daughter anything because to him that guy was like a brother.

I'm a bit worried that if he finds out the guy has done anything to his kid, something awful is going to happen.
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Something awful deserves to happen to that guy if he did something to a toddler.
 
BDS

BDS

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Oct 25, 2017
13,845
Tell your friend to cut off contact with this man and have him contact CPS and/or the police immediately.
 
sooperkool

sooperkool

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Oct 25, 2017
2,159
The racist guy rationalized your friend being, "a good one". Just cut that guy loose and tell him exactly why.
 
ObiWan

ObiWan

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Oct 25, 2017
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Yeah, if he saw new bruises then he should confront the dude. Racism aside, it sucks to find that out about a friend, but if my kid came back from babysitting with injuries I'm storming into that house and asking questions.
 
Tukarrs

Tukarrs

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Oct 27, 2017
3,265
What is the proof of racism? If it has to do with harm he should go to the authorities.
 
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Slappy White

Slappy White

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Oct 27, 2017
2,996
Irredeemable. Cut out from life immediately. Possible call police if there is any chance of abusing children.
 
Triggerhappytel

Triggerhappytel

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Oct 27, 2017
10,024
So, just to be clear:

Your white friend has a wife with dark skin, ergo his daughter is mixed race.

He didn't know his best friend was racist, which seems like a thing you'd probably know or at least suspect about someone if they're your 'best friend'.

He has on multiple occasions left his daughter with this guy for hours at a time, and upon pick-up she has had bruises apparently caused by "accidents". He never bothered to follow this up because he trusts this guy like a brother. Despite it happening multiple times he never asked the daughter about it?

This is weird; something doesn't add up. Regardless of how much he likes this guy, if she keeps getting bruised when spending time with him you'd begin asking some fucking questions.
 
joecanada

joecanada

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Oct 28, 2017
3,651
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Ok first he could be racist but doesnt mean hes a psychopath which would be to harm a child. Kids get a lot of bumps and bruises but since I work in this field just do it the right way .

Ask the child simple open ended questions ... don't ever ask did X hurt you ?
Say hey so you like hanging out with Y ? Oh cool what do you guys do ?
How about X , do you like hanging out with X ? Why ? What kind of stuff do you do ? What did you do last time ?

This is the real way to interview a kid in a way they don't know its happening and you'll get all you need .
Plan B - teddy bear with nanny cam trust me they're common
 
Syder

Syder

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Oct 25, 2017
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Wing Scarab said:
there were times he would go pick her up and she would have bruises and other stuff on her and he would just say she had an accident.
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If this happens once, sure, you can excuse it as an accident, kids are clumsy, but for it to happen a second time... it's not getting the chance to happen a third time, I'm not allowing them near my kid again, the risk isn't worth it.
 
Hey Please

Hey Please

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Oct 31, 2017
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Your friend needs to obtain proof of abuse before jumping to conclusions because child abuse is crossing one of the most notorious lines. In the event no physical abuse or willful neglect have occurred, I hope your friend cuts all ties with him.
 
Whales

Whales

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Oct 25, 2017
1,483
I can see where this is going but yall need to calm down with the child abuse accusations

childs hurt themselves easily just by running into shit or just generally being dumb. Would a dude really harm HIS BEST FRIENDS child like that?

1st thing your friend should do is actually talk to his damn kid and ask him more in detail about the bruises...
 
mael

mael

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Nov 3, 2017
10,577
Why would you leave your kid with someone with whom your kid got bruises?
It could be my mother, if my toddler is getting bruised while they supervize him/her I'm never leaving my kid alone with that person.
And frankly I don't care if my kid thought that bruises look cool and want to be covered head to toes with some, you leave the kid supervized by someone to AVOID that kind of stuffs.
 

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Whales said:
I can see where this is going but yall need to calm down with the child abuse accusations

childs hurt themselves easily just by running into shit or just generally being dumb. Would a dude really harm HIS BEST FRIENDS child like that?

1st thing your friend should do is actually talk to his damn kid and ask him more in detail about the bruises...
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All sorts of sick people harm children, including their own. If the guy is a shitty racist, it's not a giant leap to suspect he may be shitty in other ways, too.
 
Prophaniti

Prophaniti

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Oct 28, 2017
2,028
Triggerhappytel said:
So, just to be clear:

Your white friend has a wife with dark skin, ergo his daughter is mixed race.

He didn't know his best friend was racist, which seems like a thing you'd probably know or at least suspect about someone if they're your 'best friend'.

He has on multiple occasions left his daughter with this guy for hours at a time, and upon pick-up she has had bruises apparently caused by "accidents". He never bothered to follow this up because he trusts this guy like a brother. Despite it happening multiple times he never asked the daughter about it?

This is weird; something doesn't add up. Regardless of how much he likes this guy, if she keeps getting bruised when spending time with him you'd begin asking some fucking questions.
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This sums up my confusion on this.
 
OP
OP
Wing Scarab

Wing Scarab

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Nov 1, 2017
1,757
He didn't say she got bruises all the time, he said about 3 times she has come back with a bruises. He has left her with him a lot and he doesn't have to do anything that will leave bruises on her. The video he has shown me, the guy hates black people and has admitted to his girlfriend that he has attacked black people for no reason.

Triggerhappytel said:
So, just to be clear:

Your white friend has a wife with dark skin, ergo his daughter is mixed race.

He didn't know his best friend was racist, which seems like a thing you'd probably know or at least suspect about someone if they're your 'best friend'.

He has on multiple occasions left his daughter with this guy for hours at a time, and upon pick-up she has had bruises apparently caused by "accidents". He never bothered to follow this up because he trusts this guy like a brother. Despite it happening multiple times he never asked the daughter about it?

This is weird; something doesn't add up. Regardless of how much he likes this guy, if she keeps getting bruised when spending time with him you'd begin asking some fucking questions.
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I've hung out with the guy before and I can honestly tell you he doesn't come across as a racist. I myself find it quite shocking.
 

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Whales said:
I can see where this is going but yall need to calm down with the child abuse accusations

childs hurt themselves easily just by running into shit or just generally being dumb. Would a dude really harm HIS BEST FRIENDS child like that?

1st thing your friend should do is actually talk to his damn kid and ask him more in detail about the bruises...
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Abusers are almost always family friends/close friends

So... yes
 

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Triggerhappytel said:
He didn't know his best friend was racist, which seems like a thing you'd probably know or at least suspect about someone if they're your 'best friend'.
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:rolleyes:
None of my dad's close friends knew that he used to beat us on the regular. Why is the concept that someone can hide an aspect of themselves from others close to them so damned hard for people to grasp?
 
Addie

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Wing Scarab said:
He didn't say she got bruises all the time, he said about 3 times she has come back with a bruises. He has left her with him a lot and he doesn't have to do anything that will leave bruises on her. The video he has shown me, the guy hates black people and has admitted to his girlfriend that he has attacked black people for no reason.
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Now there's a video of him either attacking black people or admitting he's attacked them? I'm guessing this is the proof the racist's girlfriend showed you, except you said "the video he has shown me," so that's confusing.

I mean, this is another oddity of getting thirdhand information, but now it seems: the girlfriend's looking out for you enough to disclose this video (which presumably outs her lover as a violent criminal), but she's willing to stay with him, because she's only kinda racist?
 
OP
OP
Wing Scarab

Wing Scarab

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Nov 1, 2017
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Whales said:
I can see where this is going but yall need to calm down with the child abuse accusations

childs hurt themselves easily just by running into shit or just generally being dumb. Would a dude really harm HIS BEST FRIENDS child like that?

1st thing your friend should do is actually talk to his damn kid and ask him more in detail about the bruises...
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There was news a few years ago where a guy invited his brother to his house one day, after dinner he went upstairs while the brother and the other guest were downstairs, raped their 2 year old daughter and killed her. They thought she was sleeping and only found out she was dead the next morning. He only got caught because his semen was found inside her. So yes it can happen.

Addie said:
Now there's a video of him either attacking black people or admitting he's attacked them? I'm guessing this is the proof the racist's girlfriend showed you, except you said "the video he has shown me," so that's confusing.

I mean, this is another oddity of getting thirdhand information, but now it seems: the girlfriend's looking out for you enough to disclose this video (which presumably outs her lover as a violent criminal), but she's willing to stay with him, because she's only kinda racist?
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She gave him the video and he showed it to me. And to be honest, I don't know her very well, so I can't tell you how long she has known or if she has recently just found out about this herself.
 

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Addie said:
Now there's a video of him either attacking black people or admitting he's attacked them? I'm guessing this is the proof the racist's girlfriend showed you, except you said "the video he has shown me," so that's confusing.
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In the OP Wing Scarab says their friend is a male.
Wing Scarab said:
He only knows because his friend's girlfriend told him and showed him proof of it.
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It's all in the OP but y'all wanna play at being confused.
 
Rayne

Rayne

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Oct 25, 2017
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Wing Scarab said:
So a friend of mine found out that his best friend is racist. He doesn't want to talk to the family about it because his friend doesn't know that he found out. He only knows because his friend's girlfriend told him and showed him proof of it. My friend is Caucasian but his wife is brown skin and they have a 5 year old daughter together. The thing that's bothering him the most is that he has left his daughter with his friend quite a lot, sometimes for hours. He is worried that his friend has done things to her because there were times he would go pick her up and she would have bruises and other stuff on her and he would just say she had an accident. He never bothered to ask his daughter anything because to him that guy was like a brother.

I'm a bit worried that if he finds out the guy has done anything to his kid, something awful is going to happen.
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Yeah well if he did beat on your friend's daughter he deserves the assbeating that's coming his way. But hopefully the daughter's safe and won't be going over to that asshole again. Just staying away from him should be enough and cut all contact because someone who'd hurt a child like that is just garbage.
 
Prophaniti

Prophaniti

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Oct 28, 2017
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Wing Scarab said:
There was news a few years ago where a guy invited his brother to his house one day, after dinner he went upstairs while the brother and the other guest were downstairs, raped their 2 year old daughter and killed her. They thought she was sleeping and only found out she was dead the next morning. He only got caught because his semen was found inside her. So yes it can happen.
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So you think something like this happened?
 
Mammoth Jones

Mammoth Jones

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Oct 25, 2017
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The fuck......

I mean personally I wouldn't even fuck with someone like that. Tell your friend he needs to ditch this "best" friend. Two, can't trust your child around some snake like that. Met too many nasty bigots all smiles until opportunity presents itself.

CrankyJay said:
Have you had a toddler? They’re walking accidents. My 2 year old is covered in bruises and scrapes from falling and running into things.

Same with my 5 year old.
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Have to agree. Every bruise my kid has is due to accidents. It's literally what they do till they get coordinated and pay better attention.
 
Sowrong

Sowrong

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Oct 29, 2017
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cant really tell shit just by hearing, "bruises". Most kids get bruises, from simply being careless and running and jumping around. At 5 years old, i would think if she was getting bruises from being hit, she either wouldve said something or getting her to say something wouldnt be difficult.
 
Rayne

Rayne

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Oct 25, 2017
3,558
Whales said:
I can see where this is going but yall need to calm down with the child abuse accusations

childs hurt themselves easily just by running into shit or just generally being dumb. Would a dude really harm HIS BEST FRIENDS child like that?

1st thing your friend should do is actually talk to his damn kid and ask him more in detail about the bruises...
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Eh if she was running around so much she's all bruised up surely it would've been brought up. Even if only in a laughing "she gets everywhere and keeps falling" way. You're not gonna see someone's kid get all bruised and never mention it because it can easily be misconstrued as being far worse than it is.

Edit: That said even with the accidents excuse not asking her is kind of weird. My sister always asks her daughter where she got bruised when she's with me (but since my niece not cousin I'm getting all the munchkins confused) is a loon that runs into walls it's usually something we laugh about).
 

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Not even asking the 5-yr old how she got hurt is weird. Not even asking her when it happened on multiple occasions is even more weird.
 
Addie

Addie

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Gattsu25 said:
In the OP Wing Scarab says their friend is a male.


It's all in the OP but y'all wanna play at being confused.
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Nah, not playing at being confused. I thought "he" was the racist, not the male friend, due to following up with OP's most recent post, not the actual OP. Just pronoun overload.

But back on topic: tell your friend to cut the racist out of his life and never let his daughter near the racist again.

Also, call the cops depending on what the racist admitted to or what was captured in that video footage. If it's just some random admission that could be bluster, maybe not (but he might as well); but if there's actual video footage of attacks, absolutely.
 
vypek

vypek

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Oct 25, 2017
7,557
Red flags at the daughter coming home with bruises multiple times and its always "she had an accident." The girlfriend probably should be asked about that to find out what happened and the daughter asked about anything as well. Very possible that the cops might need to get involved here.

Also, he should absolutely burn bridges and cut that "friend" out of his life.
 
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