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Alyssa Milano backlash: "I'm trans. I'm a POC. I'm an immigrant. I'm a lesbian. I'm a gay man. I'm the disabled. I'm everything."
- Thread starter MinusTydus
- Start date
But the gag is, some folk have already gotten the memo and understand it! Have fun straddling the fence because your ego was hurt.
Whelp. You're not the first gay dude to think they know what's best for all minorities and you sure as fuck all won't be the last 🤷♂️
Dude you suck at this. I'm not telling you that you should feel guilty, I'm saying you should listen to other people. Again: this isn't about whether YOU think that what she said was wrong.
In regards to your first paragraph, that's not what I said. I meant that most people didn't reply because, as it was pointed out in that thread, there really wasn't much to say besides "Fuck Trump." Yet a whole bunch of people started accusing the forum of not caring about trans issues. That's not going to win anybody any allies, is what I'm saying.
As for the rest... well, you've seen how this thread has gone since I made that post.
No one is saying this, but you're just proving my point. Who is going to want to fight for a cause where you not only catch bullets from the opposition, but friendly fire too?
If you took that personally that says more about you than anything else. It wasn't even hostild lol
Catching bullets like being critiqued on the wording of a tweet while the other side is the one shooting. Lul
The "whole bunch of people accusing the forum of not caring about trans issues" from what I recall were largely the trans users on this site. And it's not about a single thread. Like I said, it's just a random thread to you, but these threads are about our lives, so we notice them and we take them seriously. If you want to counteract that feeling that the trans community here feels, then you could always show support in literally any way.
I'm not even sure what to say to you at this point though. It doesn't matter how many people try to meet you where you are, a single person you don't like responding to you is enough for you to no longer advocate for minorities in any way and dismiss what the rest are saying.
Her apology is doing her no favors, it coming across as minorities needing to be grateful for her specifically.
Again, the original answer was an L all of its own regardless of its intent, because it's such a meandering response to a simple question. It's weird and dismissive.
That ability to be critical of the statement is now being lost in the shuffle and people are ironically being lumped in with however many people are actually trying to cancel her or whatever without "regard for intent"(the real number of people doing this doesn't matter, obviously.)
She had a second chance and simply made it far worse, so yeah no wonder she's getting some side-eye.
You've already said that nobody will be on our side if we keep saying it. And guess what, we're going to keep saying it.
So what conclusion would you like for me to take away from your posts that nobody will be on our side and we'll be all alone?
Do you think we'll fail without you? Or people like you?
"I'm not saying you won't have any allies left, I'm just saying you won't have any allies left"
First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white liberal. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner or even the white moderate, but the white liberal, who is more devoted to "self gratification" than to justice; who prefers to peace with them in charge than to be a supporter of the peace if they can't take credit for it; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek; so can you please cut me some slack for my ignorance? After everything I done for you?"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of togetherness and who constantly advises the Negro to teach the ignoramus and then get upset when it's aimed at their ignorance. Shallow understanding and self righteousness from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
I said goddamn.
*airhorns*
If this makes you an enemy you were never an ally to begin with.
There's been more outrage from Milano and people who think she didn't mess up at all than the people who think her wording needs work. Really makes you think
Pretty much. Some people here just stirring shit up for literally no reason. Bored on a Tuesday I guess.
Truly there is no greater victim than the fragile ally.
Bruh, if this is all it takes for you people to turn tail, then we don't want you. You were never on our side to begin with.
I don't know who you are, you don't know who I am, and I never said shit about "turning tail". I said people here are stirring shit up for no reason, which they are.
...Whoops. Sorry.
Gentle criticism of seeming allies is not stirring shit.
Trans people are attacked, harassed, and killed more than any other demographic.
Stop being punks thinking that a few people being snippy towards on Internet is the end of the world
I am 100% bored on a Tuesday but who is stirring up shit? I hope you mean the people actually saying that they would be worried about greeting a minority after this thread.
Like what the fuck even is that shit?
I've seen it, I believe it, and much to my own personal shame I've lived it.
Assumption on my part. Apologies if I misread that. Who they afraid to say "hello" to?
More of a reply to the guy saying no need for cowards. I say get us whatever we can to get a better government. Afterwards we can start fixing everything. However, im a little bias to the situation considering my family are all immigrants and Trump has already screwed my family over more then once.
The amount of people flocking here to say everything is out of proportion is absolutely out of proportion.
I don't think anyone was mad at her initial remarks. There was no "outrage culture" at all. What I see from the replies is just good arguments against her wording. And rightfully so. But then her apology came, and she trying to play the victim just rubs me completely the wrong way, as if she is expecting gratitude from the people trying to correct her from her own ignorance, instead of wanting to learn from them, the very people that have to deal with and have to live everyday and experience all the shortcomings attached to belonging to one of the minority groups mentioned.
It is good to have allies, I don't think anyone is against that. But allies should listen and not try and be the centre of the conversation.
I don't think anyone was mad at her initial remarks. There was no "outrage culture" at all. What I see from the replies is just good arguments against her wording. And rightfully so. But then her apology came, and she trying to play the victim just rubs me completely the wrong way, as if she is expecting gratitude from the people trying to correct her from her own ignorance, instead of wanting to learn from them, the very people that have to deal with and have to live everyday and experience all the shortcomings attached to belonging to one of the minority groups mentioned.
It is good to have allies, I don't think anyone is against that. But allies should listen and not try and be the centre of the conversation.
What the hell is this reply?
I have read the whole thread, I have read responses she has gotten. I just don't think this backlash is warranted or productive given the context and her history, am I allowed to have that opinion? You can disagree, I was just giving my perspective on it as a minority.
Go ahead and file me under "minority but a shitty one so his experience doesn't count". You did that already with your first reply when you assumed I got no fight.
It should be a two way street. One person shouldn't just have to listen and accept everything that is said. Also, the entire conversation is about her miswording a tweet, so of course she is the center of this conversation.
Allies should listen, though. That's kind of the whole point being one.
When criticized for her words all she had to do was say "yeah my bad, I misspoke." Instead she started whining about how she did so much good but we still had the audacity to hold her accountable for things she willingly said.
Yes but there is a difference between listening to someone and agreeing with everything they say. I can listen to you and still not have you change my opinion on something. You might, you might not. This has to be a two way street though.
I'm trying to find the right way to put this, but allies are, by and large, never in a position of authority in these matters, and it's for the best if they listen and embolden queer voices. Milano here tried saying something reasonably well intentioned (we're all people and in this together) and when criticized for her simplistic language, doubled down on how victimized she was. She's just flat wrong to have pursued this course of action.
Dunno, man... I'm a minority, and I don't like being spoken for. Mostly because I've been speaking myself since forever, so I'd rather be listened. For example, I'm not black, but consider myself an ally. I don't assume I'm talking on behalf of black people when I talk about racism, but I will support their view when presented with it, and would stand up for racist whenever I can. However, if in my eagerness to help I crossed a boundary, and a black person told me what I'm doing is not okay, I don't think bragging about how much time I've have been an ally for, and how much I've spent trying to help the community is the right way to go. It is not like being an ally is hard if you are white, straight, cisgender, and rich. It is pretty much just being a decent human being, and that, on my view, should be the default. The basic standard. Not something you should get praised for. Certainly not something that gives you the right to ignore the people trying to teach you something, and instead play the victim.
?????
How do you engage in a "two way street" conversation with a minority you just offended and it's correcting you?
The black woman who made that statement is here.
I vote Democrat with a diligent ferocity, even if it means helping people who think me not being impressed with Milano's dumb tweets is akin to handing Trump 2020 (hint: that will be white people's fault, not mine).
Which is apparently the difference between me and many others here. When push comes to shove, I don't bend. I'm not about to sacrifice my principles for online fuckery.
Why is she canceled? Because she tweeted something silly? That cancels out her thousands of hours of humanitarian work? And you know her heart was in the right place.
Fair enough. We can agree to disagree on this topic. I do get what you're saying though.
I'm not saying you're wrong to feel that way, but just as you don't like being spoken for, most others don't either. Two minorities can tell me two completely different things about the same topic. I can listen to both of them but ultimately I have a mind of my own and will express how I feel with the information I have given to me. I can't just listen to people say and completely ignore all of my own thoughts and/or other people's input. It's important to listen, but also important to think for yourself as well.
Well I wouldn't always use the term 'correcting' here. This is kind of subjective since many people were not offended by what she said and saw it as a positive thing. That's why the conversation can't always be "Listen to me because I'm right and you're wrong"
Renna Hazel you are not wrong. The whole point of this is that for it to be a two-way conversation she should listen first. It is clear from her non-apology that she isn't.
I do feel like her first response was a genuine apology
"I'm glad this tweet invoked conversation. I'm so sorry it offended some. I see you and hear you. But just a reminder, empathy is not a bad thing. Nuance is important and literal interpretation is not always intended. And I can identify with and not identify as. Both are powerful."
I definitely took that as an apology but also an explanation to express what her intent was. The people that responded to her seemed to take her literally when it wasn't intended to be that way. You can apologize for offending someone and elaborate on what your intent was if they mistook it. People continued to take what she said literally after that, which is why I said it needs to be a two way street.
With that said, I'm not a fan of her following response, that seemed more out of anger/frustration and isn't the best way to go about it.
I've noticed a trend that whenever incidents like this happen that involve transphobia, there's always a crowd of people that whip out the "political madness gone mad" rhetoric. Especially in Gaming Forum, but also here. I get the subtext, and you aren't as slick as you think you are.
Stuff like saying everyone's overreacting, when it's a classic example of white feminism playing the victim whenever black people or trans people call them out for trying to represent them. It was a bad post and a worse apology. Abandoning trans people the second they started calling her out is a classic faux ally move. But you don't care about what those uppity transes have to say, you have The Office gifs to use.