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Am I a golddigger?

Golddiger?

  • Yes

    Votes: 1,069 75.1%
  • No

    Votes: 14 1.0%
  • Opportunist

    Votes: 176 12.4%
  • Who cares, enjoy...

    Votes: 164 11.5%

  • Total voters
    1,423

Jazzman

Member
Oct 25, 2017
128
I think what is more amazing is how little self respect you have for yourself. You are already well off and set financially, let you continue to hang around this guy because you like that he buys you things (which you could afford yourself). Why not value your own time and happiness more and actually date someone who you are attracted to and want to be around?
 

NarohDethan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,267
Eh, I don’t doubt OP story. I’ve seen it happening first hand (I’m not rich btw lol). Rich people operate very differently than regular folk, and I mean no offense in this.
 
Oct 27, 2017
2,633
It's really, really not.

There is a huge difference between a person seeking out someone specifically for financial security and/or a lavish lifestyle, and a person who is reeled into a relationship with someone who thinks they can buy love once they fear the relationship will go south without some sort of material incentive to stay in the relationship. The former is someone intentionally hunting people down whom they believe they can manipulate in order to gain access to their wealth, the latter is someone taking advantage of a mutually advantageous situation. The difference between the two is not merely 'semantics'.

It's essentially the difference between a gold digger and a sugar baby.

EDIT:

nvm
I don't see OP being "reeled" into anything here. I also think it's disingenuous and shitty for OP to string somebody along who clearly has hope for or sees the potential, even if its far-fetched, for a genuine romantic relationship eventually developing.

OP even states multiple times that he's willing to see if something can develop even though his own thoughts and words seem to preclude the possibility ever happening. Financial independence aside, OP clearly states that he enjoys the perks that comes from the arrangement with this individual and doesn't sound like he has any intention of actually stipulating exactly how he feels to this person. Usually people who are sugar babies clearly define the parameters of their relationships, it's not hard. Not seeing them here. What you call a "mutually advantageous" situation doesn't sound like it applies to anyone other than the OP unless he's made it crystal clear what their relationship entails. Doesn't sound like he has.

I know what a gold digger is. I know what a sugar baby is. The two are not entirely mutually exclusive. You can be both, to a degree. Not sure the OP is deserving of the benefit of the doubt here considering his past history others have brought up and what he's said himself however.

Would have loved to see your edit.
 

Soph

Member
Oct 25, 2017
726
I might be misremembering.. but aren't you the guy that was feeding your last love? Probably ancient history by now.

as to answer your current question.. yeah you're a golddigger and there is nothing wrong with that
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
For the people who think I'm fake and making up stories:

I confirmed my story with a mod, as promised :)
 

Aleh

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,480
I find it more interesting that OP is the one who thinks he’s taking a chance in this situation and not the guy he’s dating. You have nothing to lose, you’re the one that’s inevitably going to hurt the other person.
 

Perfect Chaos

Member
Oct 25, 2017
369
Charlottesville, VA, USA
Your interest in him faded after a week. When the novelty of getting some expensive things fades, you'll still not be interested in him.

Living off someone else's money means your full-time job is keeping them happy enough to support you. That sounds like a nightmare if you don't genuinely love them.

Bail.
Yeah, really agree w/ the bolded. Another thing to keep in mind is that if you do "retire", and then things go awry, you may be starting from 0. Time off can look bad on resumes, etc., etc.
 

Leo

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,622
1- Yes you are. You will have to decide if you're comfortable with it;
2- Planning a trip to Paris with someone you just met one month ago doesn't sound particularly clever. At best he is very needy, at worst he could be intending to hurt you;
3- Don't give up your life to be financially dependent on someone else. They can change their minds one day and you're gonna be screwed.
 

Drowner

Member
May 20, 2019
62
If you're not into him then being with him is golddiggery. after you break up with him, give him my number
 

Minky

Verified
Oct 27, 2017
228
UK
I uhh yeahhh, this really grosses me out OP. Based on what you've said so far you are definitely materialistic, and definitely a golddigger. This will probably not end well if you let it fester. "Things" are nice in the short term, but can never substitute actual love. Would strongly recommend breaking it off now while you still can.

Edit: Actually nevermind OP, it's clear you're not here for constructive criticism or advice. Jog on.
 
Last edited:

nopressure

Member
Oct 28, 2017
671
What a bizarre question. Hey guys, <insert perfect description of a golddigger>, do you think I'm a golddigger?

You already know the answer and clearly don't care, so not sure what is left to discuss.
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
I'm sure he would recognize a gold digger. And I don't think he sees me as one because I never ask for anything. He always asks me what I want. But I can't think of anything, to be honest...
But I get the comments here.

And I do like his presence around me. I'm seeing him again this weekend. He's going to stay from friday to sunday. We're going to cook together and get to know each other better.
He knows I want to start with being friends first.

But if this doesn't work out romantically, I'm probably keeping him as a rich friend with benefits
 

StallionDan

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,562
Stop accepting gifts if you don't see a future but want to see if it can work, or just accept that yes you are goldigging and decide if you are OK with that. Be honest with the guy too, you're leading him on accepting all this stuff.
 

SourKiwi

Member
Apr 2, 2018
298
This is why I hate this site sometimes. I can definitely be an asshole, but I'm no liar.

Not everyone who has a good life is a liar. And I do have a good life. I've posted many pics on discord of myself. I exist. I even posted nudes there haha.
And I get attention from members here as well with their sometimes creepy pm's. ( I won't mention names)

But if you don't want to believe this, then that's your own right.
*casually mentions they're better than you*
 

Eugene's Axe

Member
Jan 17, 2019
496
One thing I've always wondered about people like OP is if he's so wealthy (I'm not saying you're lying) why is it so important that the people you relate to should be wealthy as well. When is it time to start appreciating people for what they are and not for what they have if money is not a problem to you as you numerous times have clarified during this thread.
 
Nov 17, 2017
6,846
One thing I've always wondered about people like OP is if he's so wealthy (I'm not saying you're lying) why is it so important that the people you relate to should be wealthy as well. When is it time to start appreciating people for what they are and not for what they have if money is not a problem to you as you numerous times have clarified during this thread.
As someone who is not wealthy, I assume it's because having a certain amount of wealth affords you a certain standard of living and lifestyle. People with more money are going to go to fancier restaurants, go on extravagant vacations, enjoy more expensive hobbies, outings, activities, whatever. So if you're dating someone who literally can't afford to do those things all the time, you can't share those things with them unless you literally share your money with them. At a certain point, the amount of money you have kind of effects your "culture." It becomes harder to relate when there's a vast difference in wealth.
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
One thing I've always wondered about people like OP is if he's so wealthy (I'm not saying you're lying) why is it so important that the people you relate to should be wealthy as well. When is it time to start appreciating people for what they are and not for what they have if money is not a problem to you as you numerous times have clarified during this thread.
Because, from my own experience, wealthy or successful guys are often more educated. It's easier to understand each other in many things and conversations are always better.

People who aren't motivated bore me and I think they will drag me down somehow.

I guess me becoming a "sugar baby" and stop working also means lack of motivation. But I'm 35 years old. I've been working my ass off since I was 21. I achieved many things I wanted to achieve. And with my resume I can start working whenever I want.

I just don't mind a rest. Maybe work two days in the beginning and them retire. Sounds good to me. And I think I deserve it.

And call me an asshole of you want. Heard that before and I don't give a damn.
 

JigglesBunny

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
6,992
Chicago
Kismet walkin' around lookin' like Michael with your money
Shoulda got that insured, Geico for your money
If you ain't no punk
Holla, "We want prenup! We want prenup!" (Yeah!)
It's somethin' that you need to have
'Cause when he leave yo' ass, he gon' leave with half
 

SMD

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,683
Because, from my own experience, wealthy or successful guys are often more educated. It's easier to understand each other in many things and conversations are always better.
Wealthy people are thick as fuck and think they're smart either because they ate a dictionary or no one wants to call them out as a result of their wealth and connections.
 

rhandino

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,449
One week after we dated, the guy confessed that he’s very wealthy. I’m sure he noticed me ghosting him a little bit, so he played that card. I was skeptical in the beginning because people lie a lot. I told him that’s good for him but that I’m currently not ready for a relationship.
And then he started sending me expensive gifts.
I accepted the gifts
---
 

brainchild

GameXplain
Verified
Nov 25, 2017
7,431
Minnesota
Because, from my own experience, wealthy or successful guys are often more educated. It's easier to understand each other in many things and conversations are always better.

People who aren't motivated bore me and I think they will drag me down somehow.

I guess me becoming a "sugar baby" and stop working also means lack of motivation. But I'm 35 years old. I've been working my ass off since I was 21. I achieved many things I wanted to achieve. And with my resume I can start working whenever I want.

I just don't mind a rest. Maybe work two days in the beginning and them retire. Sounds good to me. And I think I deserve it.

And call me an asshole of you want. Heard that before and I don't give a damn.
Ok, I defended your right to sugar dating but this post reeks of elitism. Wealthy people are no better than working class or poor people and it's a shame that your dating pool is so limited in perspective.
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
Ok, I defended your right to sugar dating but this post reeks of elitism. Wealthy people are no better than working class or poor people and it's a shame that your dating pool is so limited in perspective.
I'm not saying wealthy people are better humans. No way.

And I'm not a millionaire. I'm well off, probbaly high middle class, I dunno.

I have respect for everyone, but when it comes to serious dating I have different standards and I prefer the more successful guys.

When it comes to hook ups I don't care.
 

brainchild

GameXplain
Verified
Nov 25, 2017
7,431
Minnesota
but when it comes to serious dating I have different standards and I prefer the more successful guys.
What I'm saying is that your reasoning for this is flawed. I'm sure you find it easier to relate to wealthy guys in certain respects, but you shouldn't assume that you're going to have a more intellectually stimulating/rewarding experience with a person based on how much money they make.

There are a lot of rich people who aren't nearly as smart as they think that they are and are really only successful because they were lucky enough to know the right people at the right time.

I've dated from both ends of the class spectrum and if I'm being honest, it was usually the upper class/rich folk who turned out to be real assholes, so personally, I'm not convinced that there's any real benefit to having a preference for wealthy/successful people outside of material benefits.
 

Nicktals

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,165
I'm not saying wealthy people are better humans. No way.

And I'm not a millionaire. I'm well off, probbaly high middle class, I dunno.

I have respect for everyone, but when it comes to serious dating I have different standards and I prefer the more successful guys.

When it comes to hook ups I don't care.
You just lumped all poor people as unmotivated and boring?

Doesnt sound respectful. All based on perceived education? What?