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Am I a golddigger?

Golddiger?

  • Yes

    Votes: 1,069 75.1%
  • No

    Votes: 14 1.0%
  • Opportunist

    Votes: 176 12.4%
  • Who cares, enjoy...

    Votes: 164 11.5%

  • Total voters
    1,423

brainchild

GameXplain
Verified
Nov 25, 2017
7,431
Minnesota
Alright! Just got home from work, and I have some thoughts:

First thought: Some of y'all, I suppose in an attempt to sound progressive on the subject of dating, are lacking the self-awareness to see how regressive you actually sound? Some of these posts aimed at OP are not too far off from guys in bars who have bought me drinks without even introducing themselves to me, and then got mad when I didn't give them my number. Or the guy who took me out to dinner and then a concert, but then texted me "you're a fucking bitch" after dropping me off at the end of the night because I wouldn't give him road head.

Let's make one thing absolutely clear: OP does not owe this man SHIT. Money, or the acceptance of gifts, does not mean that the giver now owns you, or that the receiver has to reciprocate in ANY way. If this man, who OP has been very clear with in regards to his feelings, feels like he can win him by black card swipe, that's on him. Full stop.

Next thought: OP, are you a Golddigger? NO.

Here's why:

Golddiggers target. They look for, isolate, and deceive partners for the express purpose of being taken care of or having access to that person's money. OP isn't doing any of that. OP isn't pursuing this guy; this guy is pursuing him. It was THIS GUY who brought up the subject of his wealth and started raining down the gifts when he sensed that OP was losing interest. OP isn't lying to this guy; he mentioned on the first page that he's been upfront about his ambivalent feelings. Maybe I've missed the posts, but I'm not getting the picture of a hopelessly in love man being conned out of his cash and taken advantage of oh the woe. I see a man who knows exactly what he's doing. I see a man who knows he's wealthy, who knows the power wealth has as a lure, and is using that power to get what HE wants. I'm seeing a man who has heard the saying, "It ain't trickin if you got it."

And hey, that's life! That is real freakin life. Some people date for love. Some people date for companionship. And some people date because they have the money to keep your ass around (and are willing to spend it). Those people are called sugar daddies; and the people who accept the "love language" of a sugar daddy in the form of gifts and trips to Paris, those are called sugar babies. These terms aren't just lyrics in pop songs. They're descriptors of actual relationship dynamics that play out in real life.

OP, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Just continue to be honest with him AND yourself. And if he wants to keep spending his money knowing damn well how you feel? Shiiiiiieeeeeeet.

BUT, if you are going to live the City Boy life, a word of caution: make sure you keep YOUR BAG secured. Because sugar daddies do get bored...eventually.

I agree with all of this, but then the OP jumps the shark with all of the elitism "preference" nonsense and loses me. Whether he's a golddigger or a sugar baby (I happen to think he's the latter), he's shown his whole ass in this thread and it's looking like it's time for a douche.
 

vhoanox

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,640
Vietnam
I dont know how what word to describe this sensation BUT OP both want to be "gold digger" and "not-gold digger"

-He doesnt want to be call a gold digger because its a negative word, he so well off himself. He dont need money or gift unless someone beg him to take it

-But he also want to call a gold digger because he is a 30s year old gym-active attractive enough to bag this also attractive guy but surprisingly younger. Call this young man Sugar-Baby-Daddy.

-Even it ends he still has a PLAN.

-So this is a win-win situation.
 

lacer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,517
admission of manually feeding your ex
oh man i forgot all about this. and OP was like 'i have different standards and prefer successful guys' but evidently those standards don't include being able to successfully use a fork
also, thank you for that GIF that comes afterthis quote. it was initially very upsetting and confusing to me but now i think it's awesome
 

Deffers

Member
Mar 4, 2018
1,363
Wow, this went some fuckin' places, huh.

I'm rescinding my sympathy if only because a thread like this and responses like this are so over-the-top they're basically begging the Universe to make the Rhonda Byrne Secret real but in reverse only for you and normal for everyone who has any contempt for you. This is some top-shelf hubris.

EDIT: If someone decided to try out sounding for the first time with a copper lightning rod atop a stormy mountaintop while finding the Wikipedia list of every god and blaspheming against each one individually, that's the level of hubris we're talking about.
 
Oct 28, 2017
14,477
oh man i forgot all about this. and OP was like 'i have different standards and prefer successful guys' but evidently those standards don't include being able to successfully use a fork
also, thank you for that GIF that comes afterthis quote. it was initially very upsetting and confusing to me but now i think it's awesome
OP is the guy who hand fed his bf? Oh good grief.
 

Spinluck

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
7,644
Florida
I actually don't mind the lashing. It's entertaining.

But yeah, I'm kinda getting bored now because the original OP is lost. I don't have anything to discuss here anymore that's worth my time.
See you in the next thread you make where your try to get advice from ERA but then shit on it when it's not what you want to hear.

I really don't get what the point is to this when you come out of it looking like a narc. There is sound advice in here that doesn't pass judgement on you at all but you seem disinterested in the introspection required to do some of those things that most good or decent people tend to do.
 

Aske

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,526
Canadia
I've only read the OP, but it doesn't sound like you're leading him on - I'm one of the very few who voted "no".

You told him you weren't ready for a relationship. He chose to try to buy your love. As long as you don't lie to him, I don't think you're being opportunistic or a gold digger. You're giving him a chance. Once you start exploiting him, then you're being opportunistic, and if you try to seduce him for his money, you're a gold digger.

I dated a girl who tried to buy my affection. I told her not to, but I accepted her gifts. I was always honest about how I felt, and when I knew there was no future there, I broke up with her. I think the issue is your intention, not your partner's behaviour. Figure it out, stay honest.


Edit: Oh. Oh dear.
 

brainchild

GameXplain
Verified
Nov 25, 2017
7,431
Minnesota
There is sound advice in here that doesn't pass judgement on you at all but you seem disinterested in the introspection required to do some of those things that most good or decent people tend to do.
Yup. People who lack the willingness for introspection can end up becoming a danger unto themselves and everyone else, unfortunately. It's not healthy.
 

rhandino

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,449
oh man i forgot all about this. and OP was like 'i have different standards and prefer successful guys' but evidently those standards don't include being able to successfully use a fork
OP is the guy who hand fed his bf? Oh good grief.
Also the guy who wanted to ask back the stuff he got for his ex (or for the both of them) 1 month after they broke up.
 

psynergyadept

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,814
It is what it is Op; I won't tell how to date..You'll reap whatever comes out of this relationship

you ain't the first "gold digger" and ya won't be the last. No amount of forum posting is going to chnage your dating habits and preferences.
 

ch4534532

Member
Jul 3, 2019
146
I actually had more rich men after me and offer me things. But those were old and ugly. So I wasn't interested. If this one would be old and ugly, I would bail out hardddd.

Most of my exes were financially well off as well. I like to date men who also made it. Nothing wrong with it, I guess.

if this makes me an asshole, then so be it. This guy also likes me because of my position in life.
you are one vapid person
 

TaySan

Member
Dec 10, 2018
4,885
Yes you are a gold digger. Assuming this is even true anyways it's nothing to brag about.
 

Squarehard

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,811
This thread feels like it's a completely different one than the one I responded to yesterday.

Reminds me of the dream cheating thread.
 

Canucked

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,533
People who would date someone they're not into for money would probably really enjoy the kind of negative attention a thread like this gives them.
 

Cyanity

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,590
Never been more happy to see a thread backfire on such a deserving, awful OP. Don't think it being closed will make people forget your vile narcissism anytime soon, and when you inevitably leave the forum for good, don't leave an ass-stain on the door when it hits you. We just cleaned
Couldn't have said it better myself
 

RedSonja

Member
Oct 29, 2017
188
I mean, I'd have sex with him but it's my fertile period. I like his hairline as it is at this point in time, it's like it's threatening to recede because of all the manly testosterone but there's this sort of mild femininity about him which is sort of dragging the follicles back. I might feel differently once my hormone spike ceases but right now I'm straddling his freight train. OP, wanna a junior Narcissus? You have a closing window of opportunity if so. Buy me a ticket and I'll take your wicket ;-)
 

dark_prinny

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,333
You should ask your sugar daddy for an urgent trip to Turkey before is too late.

And they say god doesn’t punish twice?

Your god must hate you with a passion.
 

Nora

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,300
I typically don't really profile individuals based on their forum posts but god damn the OP makes it tempting
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
I mean, I'd have sex with him but it's my fertile period. I like his hairline as it is at this point in time, it's like it's threatening to recede because of all the manly testosterone but there's this sort of mild femininity about him which is sort of dragging the follicles back. I might feel differently once my hormone spike ceases but right now I'm straddling his freight train. OP, wanna a junior Narcissus? You have a closing window of opportunity if so. Buy me a ticket and I'll take your wicket ;-)
The last girl I had sex with...hmmm
That's probably longer than a decade ago haha
 
OP
OP
Kismet

Kismet

Banned
Nov 9, 2017
1,432
Hmm, I suppose this would explain the relatively recent decline in the fertility rate of the Western World. You bastard.
I find women really beautiful. But sexually I was never attracted to them. I mean, my "thing" down there would still work if I would want to have sex with them. But there's never an urge to date a woman.

And I'm one of the gays that's not afraid or disgusted by a vagina. When I was with a girl I loved to give head more than actually penetrate. :)

Sexuality is a strange thing.